Dawn Evans

∞

Clover and I searched through my huge walk-in closet for something to wear. Since she was staying here, I gave her a section of my closet for some of her things. She said she didn't feel 'comfortable' sleeping or putting any of her things in the guest rooms.

"Found it!" She said, finding the dress that she wanted to wear tonight. She pulled out a yellow satin mini dress that looked like all of the others in my opinion. She then walked back into my bedroom.

I looked through all of the dresses that I had in my closet, but I wasn't really in the mood to wear a dress. However, Clover insisted. I found a plain black mini dress with spaghetti straps that left no room for cleavage. I threw it on and walked out of the closet and into my bedroom. When Clover saw me her eyes instantly rolled to the back of her head, "You're always wearing black!" She told me as if I didn't already know. "How do you expect him to like you if you go to his party looking like that?"

I looked at her, baffled by what she'd just said before I walked back into the closet and away from her. Clover has been having a rough couple of days and I was trying to understand, but she was one more comment away from getting punched in her face.

Looking through my closet once more I found a different dress that was shorter than the other one, by a lot. It was a low V-neck cut and had long sleeves. The dress was still black, of course, but I thought that it was more revealing. Even though I didn't want to wear the dress or any dress for that matter, Clover was right. Not that I cared about what anyone thought about me, but I needed to loosen up. It was a party.

I slid my feet into black thigh-high faux suede stiletto boots and threw a black sparkly purse over my shoulder. I walked back out of the closet, looking on my vanity to find my jewelry box that was filled with rings, necklaces, and earrings. I put on a gold necklace that had diamonds glistening from it and gold earrings before I took a bonnet off of my head. My hair was already flat-ironed. So, the only thing I had to do was maintain it throughout the entirety of the party.

Clover was behind me getting ready. As she put her makeup on she hummed a Christmas song that got stuck in my head. I couldn't sing the slightest bit, but lyrics began streaming out of my mouth. This was until my phone started ringing. I looked at the contact to see that it was Royal.

When I answered I didn't say anything, "Dawn," He said.

"Royal."

"Is it cool if I bring Aleeah to Antonio's thing tonight?"

I looked back at Clover, "Hold on." I said before putting myself on mute. "Clo, he wants to know if he can bring Aleeah." She shrugged her shoulders as if she didn't care.

I honestly didn't care if she came or not either, as long as she didn't start none of her bullshit, it was cool. I unmuted myself before I said, "Yeah," and hung up the phone.

Clover and I finished getting ready and this entire outfit was uncomfortable and I didn't want to wear it, but it was a party. I didn't wanna be unprepared like last time.

"You ready to go?" I asked her and she nodded her head. "Okay, I'm coming. I have to talk to my mom first."

I knocked on her bedroom door before she invited me in. "Hey, Dawn," Enzo said to me when I walked in. They weren't in bed, instead, they were both standing up- I was unsure of what they were doing, but I didn't ask questions.

I rolled my eyes at his existence before I turned to my mom, "Mom, I'm going out."

She looked at me before she said, "You look amazing, baby! I haven't seen you dressed like this in months."

"Thanks, Mom."

"Okay, sweetheart. Be safe. I bought your gift, come get it whenever you're ready." I nodded my head before I walked out of her room and shut the door behind me. That must have meant that my mom, Clover, and Royal bought separate gifts this year.

Clover stood at the steps before she heard me coming out and then she darted down them and out of the door. I followed after her before I unlocked my car door and we both got in.

Ten minutes later, we were at Antonio's house.

More like his mansion.

"Dawn, this is even bigger than your house," Clover said as if she hadn't been here before.

"No shit?"

I got eyes. No need to rub it in.

I rolled my eyes before I got out of the car and Clover did the same. We spotted Royal's blue BMW parked outside which meant that he was here already. When we got to the door we heard music, but it wasn't loud at all. Instead, it sounded like someone was playing it on their phone. We looked around to realize that there wasn't a whole lot of people in the yard like last time and when we looked through the windows of the house we didn't see anyone. Clover rang the doorbell and no one answered either.

"Hello?" Clover called Royal's phone and put him on speaker.

"Y'all outside?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Go through the back." He told us.

"What the fuck is in the back? A backyard? It's cold as hell out here." I shouted so that he could hear me.

"Dawn, just go through the back," Royal said.

I sighed before I walked around to the back while Clover followed me. The house was huge and it took us a couple of minutes to get to the side of it.

When we got to the back of the house we didn't see anything or anyone until I spotted a sign that said, 'Use the stairs.' We walked toward it and of course, downward stairs led to a huge door. When we knocked on it Royal answered before he said, "Y'all late," and let us in.

It was a huge basement filled with arcade games, pool and ping pong tables, and a tan sofa that was in the shape of a semi-circle. There was a TV hanging from the wall and a game system sitting on a wall shelf under it. This was where a lot of the guys were while girls were hanging out on the walls drinking, smoking, and gossiping. There were a lot of people here, people that I didn't know, but recognized and I figured that Antonio knew them from school.

I don't think Antonio knows what a 'small get-together' is.

Speaking of Antonio, I hadn't spotted him yet. I thought that maybe he was getting more drinks. So, I went to the door that led to another set of stairs, but within the house.

When I got to the top, I didn't know where I was. His house was kind of big and I've never seen this part of it. I began walking in any direction until all of a sudden I heard familiar voices screaming at each other. Which is when I stayed hidden and eavesdropped.

"You don't have a choice!" I heard Drea shout. I didn't know what they were talking about. I didn't even know that she would be at the party.

"We always have a choice! Maybe you've tricked yourself into believing you don't, so you can make yourself feel better about all the horrible shit you do!" Antonio was furious, I could tell by his tone.

"Go fuck yourself, Toni!" She yelled before I heard her storm off, her footsteps getting closer and closer toward me. "Good luck with that." She told me referring to an enraged Antonio as she walked past me and into the basement.

I sighed once I realized that I'd have to go talk to him. I came out of hiding before I saw him sitting at a stool in the kitchen with his head on the countertop. "You heard all that?" He asked, not even looking up at me. He must have known that I was there the entire time.

"Yeah, what's wrong? What were y'all talking about?" I came and sat on a stool beside him.

"I don't wanna talk about it right now," He sighed.

"Okay," I didn't know what Drea and Antonio had going on, but I could tell that it wasn't anything romantic. And who was I to want to know every little detail about their relationship?

The girl who likes him?

I don't like him.

You just admitted-

Okay, maybe just a little bit.

Antonio mentioned that they've known each other since they were kids and if this was just too personal to share with me, I was fine with it.

Are you, though?

At this point, I felt like my inner thoughts were contradicting everything that I wished to be true and I sighed at that before I glanced over at Antonio.

His head still hadn't lifted from the countertop. So, I bent down until I could see his face from under his arms. "Antonio, come on. Everyone's gonna wonder where you are. It's your party." I told him, trying to convince him to go back downstairs into the basement.

He slowly got up from the stool like he agreed until he looked down at me. "Damn," He said after licking his lips flirtatiously.

I took a step back before I crossed my arms nervously under his stare. "Sei bellissima," He said. I looked at him, confused about what he'd just said, like always. "I said you look beautiful."

I didn't know what to say. No one has ever really called me that. No one has ever actually meant it. "Thank you?" I replied, sort of unsure with myself.

He smirked and nodded his head before he grabbed my hand and guided me upstairs toward his room. "What are you doing?" I asked him as he went through his closet and I sat on his bed, clueless.

He didn't respond. Instead, he came out of the closet holding a faded black hoodie and matching sweatpants that were exactly my size, and a box wrapped in Christmas themed wrapping paper.

"Here, put that on." He told me.

"I- I thought you said you liked my outfit-"

He cut me off, "I do. God knows I do." He said slightly joking. "But do you? I know you'd rather be comfortable. Plus, I like you better in this anyway," he pointed to the outfit that he picked out for me.

I smiled before I got up from the bed and wrapped my arms inwardly between his. I felt his forearms folded around my waist before both of our grips became tighter around one another. "Thank you, Antonio," I said to him, sincerely. I could see how anyone took this moment as being overdramatic, but it was nice to have someone care about me once in a while. It felt amazing to know that someone was thinking about how I felt.

I let go of him before I grinned and grabbed the outfit and the gift box. I was about to go into his closet to change before he said, "No, I'll leave." I nodded my head and he opened the bedroom door and walked out of it before closing it behind him.

I didn't bother putting the hoodie on first. I wanted to know what was in the box. I tore the paper off before I saw a shoebox with the bubble letters, 'Crocs' written on it. In the box there laid a note on top of the slippers. It read:

D,

I figured that you were going to wear something uncomfortable that you would regret. So, I got you a gift. When you're done changing, meet me in the front yard.

I took the black crocs out of the box before I saw a pair of white socks laying under them. I put everything on before I sat the shoebox in his closet and threw the wrapping paper in the trash.

I was curious as to what was outside so I rushed down the stairs before opening the door to find him leaning on his bike. I already knew what he was suggesting just by his stance. "No, Antonio. I'm not getting on that! How many times do I have to tell you?"

He chuckled before he walked toward me, "You sure you ain't scared?"

"I'm not scared of anything," I told him for about the 100th time.

"You lying," he said like he always does.

I rolled my eyes before I walked past him and near his bike. Sure, I was afraid of something, but I was too proud to admit that to anybody. But I definitely wasn't scared of no damn car with two wheels.

I grabbed the black and red helmet that sat on the motorcycle before I put it over my head. "Where are we going, Ant?" I asked him. His lip tugged upward at the nickname before he followed me over to the bike and took the helmet off my head. "What are you doing?"

I turned my head for a second and when I looked back at him he had an all-black helmet in his hands and on the side of it was my name in a red that matched the red on his helmet and bike. I laughed at the thought of him planning all of this out.

I took the helmet from his hands before I put it on and attempted to get on the bike. I moved the kickstand and hopped on before tilting to the left, beginning to fall. Antonio grabbed my upper arm and held onto the bike handles, pulling me toward him until I was finally up straight.

He sat in front of me on the motorcycle before I heard the engine roaring. He threw his helmet into the bushes and before I knew it we were speeding off into the streets and almost immediately I wrapped my arms around his torso. "We can't just leave the party," I shouted so he could hear me over all of the wind.

"Yes, we can." He said dryly before we began driving even faster than before. My hold on him becoming tighter as he made rapid twists and turns around other cars and sped through red traffic lights.

"Where are we going?" I yelled, but he didn't respond. The helmet was glued tightly to my head and I felt as though I couldn't breathe. "Antonio, can we stop for a minute?"

"We're almost there," He told me.

He wasn't lying because five minutes later we stopped near a park. "Why are we here?" I asked as the sky above us filled with darkness.

"You'll see." He got off the bike before helping me off too. He came from behind me, taking the helmet off my head before put his hands over my eyes, so now I couldn't see. I grinned even though I hated surprises.

I thought back to our first date before I thought to myself.

What in the High school Musical 2.

We began walking and the sound of chattering became overwhelming.

When we came to a stop, Antonio moved his hands from in front of my eyes and I was amazed by what I had seen. It brought back so many memories. My eyes began flooding. It was to the point where if I blinked, tears would begin streaming down my face uncontrollably. "The lights..." I smiled brightly before a chuckle that sounded more like a sob escaped my lips.

I began walking slowly inside the metal arbor fence of the park. The gates also had lights wrapped around them and a huge sign that wrote, 'Christmas Wonderland.' There was a lake in the center of the park with a few Christmas trees floating on it.

I wonder how many little kids have drowned here.

I'd never been to this park before in all of my seventeen years on earth. Little kids were running around as their parents sat on the benches, watching them. It reminded me of me and my dad.

I turned around to look at Antonio, who was still standing outside of the fence when the corner of his mouth tugged upward. The wind blowing in my face, blowing out a single tear before a wide grin appeared. And no, I don't cry... it's the wind. I knew that it was temporary, but just for a moment I finally felt happy. I felt free. I felt exactly how I felt only seconds before my seven-year-old self was informed about what I'd be doing for the Millers. When I was younger, I was a completely different person. I was the type of kid who couldn't stand being within five feet of violence, I loved having a family and I absolutely loved Christmas. So, at that moment it felt like Antonio had just brought back flashes of my old self. I felt like I was that seven-year-old girl again.

I looked up at the black skies, filled with bright stars that I hadn't seen in a while before I looked back down at Antonio. I turned around, my smile had grown wider once I actually took the time to admire the lights. I felt someone rub up against my backside. His freezing cold touch sending chills down my spine. Then all of a sudden, I felt warmth. He hugged me from behind, wrapping his arms around my waist as he rested his chin on my head. "Antonio," I whispered, but loud enough so that he could hear me.

His response was, "Hm?"

I slightly turned so I could take a glance at him, but when our eyes locked I found myself being pulled under his trance. But there was something different about him. His hazel eyes softened above me, this was something that they rarely did. I was used to looking into his eyes and finding nothing but agony. However, at this moment his torment was undetected.

I turned around, fully facing him before I put both of my palms on his cheeks as my fingertips ran along the back of his head. My thumbs running semi-circles under his small eye bags and while caressing his face, I stood on my tippy-toes, leaving a soft fleeting kiss on his lips.

He closed his eyes before tucking away his lips, almost as if he wanted more, but something was stopping him. I called his name, grabbing his attention. When his eyes opened I demanded, "Kiss me."

It wasn't long before his lips crashed against mine again. This kiss wasn't like all the other ones that we've shared. This time it was rough. His tongue pushing up against my bottom lip before eventually my top and bottom parted ways, inviting him in.

Time stood still as butterflies erupted in my stomach, intensifying every time I felt his hands lowering, moving down to my butt. Our tongues fighting for dominance just before I felt my knees getting weak. I held onto him tightly, trying to stay up.

It felt like we've been standing here for days and at this point, we were sharing the same air, recycling it back and forth before I pulled away, realizing that we needed oxygen to survive. But he pulled me back in, even closer this time. Our lips moving in sync as my longing for him grew stronger.

Basorexia- a strong craving or hunger for kissing.

I felt consumed by him, his touch, his smell of fresh cologne- everything. By the way our lips connected, I could tell that he was hungry for something. He was craving something that we just couldn't start, especially not here. I began to think about us- me and him. How I didn't want to ruin anything, not before it even started. I thought back to our first kiss and how I wanted him- all of him so badly, but now I felt the total opposite. Of course, I wanted him still, but only the part of him that brought me peace. The part of him that cared for me. I didn't want to start anything else until I was ready. Until I knew that it wouldn't utterly change things.

I pulled away and finally, he let me. I stretched my arms around his neck, thankful that he brought me here. His hands on my waist before we stood there for what felt like forever.

"D," he whispered in my ear, calling for my attention. I didn't say anything. I just stood there, embracing him. "You know I'm here, right?"

I nodded my head not sure where he was about to go from there. "No, Dawn. I mean it." He paused before he pulled me from his embrace. "No matter what happens, I'll always be here."

I looked side to side before I said nervously, "Okay?" Whatever that means.

He nodded his head before he trailed around me, walking forward. I turned around and followed him before he put his arm around my shoulder.

"It's cold," I told him.

He looked down at me and huffed before he said, "It's December, why you ain't bring a coat?"

I shrugged my shoulders and he sighed even harder this time before taking his coat off and putting it around my shoulders. I put my arms through the sleeves before I smiled. Antonio was now in nothing, but a white short-sleeve T-shirt. "If you gonna get cold then just take it back," I told him.

"You good. Keep it."

He looked down at me before I said, "Thank you."

"Always," he responded.

He took my hand before we continued looking around the park.

For about fifteen minutes, we walked in silence, just appreciating each other's company. "You ready to go?" He asked me.

"Can I have just five more minutes?" I asked him, not caring what his response was because I'd stay five minutes longer either way.

If he says no, I guess I'll have to walk back to his place.

I started to think about walking by myself at night and how paranoid I'd be. Like that one time when I was on a mission and I had to walk back to my hotel after I'd killed a gang leader in Tallahassee. I thought all of his little disciples were following me. I was afr-

Antonio cut my thoughts off when he responded, "Ight, stay here. I'll be right back."

Where would I go? Take your death machine home or go drown myself in the lake?

"Okay," I said.

Ten minutes went by and Antonio wasn't back. I got up from a bench that sat directly in front of the lake before I began searching for him.

I looked behind every tree, every gate, and at every turn and I still hadn't spotted Antonio. I thought that maybe he went back to the lake where I was sitting, but before I got the chance to check, I bumped into someone's bare skin.

"Watch where the fuck you going!" He shouted at me.

I looked at him before my eyebrows furrowed. His pale skin looking even paler under the moon. He wore blue jeans and his torso was bare. It was freezing outside and I was surprised by his attire. He was either on something or a fucking lunatic. "How about next time you check your tone talking to me." I paused before I added, "Bitch."

He looked down at me like he wanted to hurt me. I giggled before I said, "You sure you wanna do this? I got time."

"You don't know who the fuck you're messing with!" He said before throwing his hands up, getting ready to fight. He bounced around like he was in a match of mortal combat.

This should be easy.

I did a spinning roadhouse kick that Malik taught me years ago and it connected with his face and in no time he plummeted to the ground. "Dawn, what are you doing?" I heard a worried Antonio ask from behind me.

I turned around before I said, "I- I was looking for you."

"D, there are kids out here." He continued, suggesting that I was wrong for defending myself.

When I looked around children and their parents were just staring at the three of us like it were a horror film.

"Yeah, put your whore in her place!" I heard the guy from behind me shout. When I turned around to face him, he was now standing up proudly as if he'd just conquered the world.

Before I could even blink, Antonio now stood in front of the man. He hit him with an uppercut and a right hook. It didn't take long before the guy was on the ground again.

I scoffed before I whispered to myself, "Hypocrite."

"Call her that one more time." Antonio threatened him calmly before he turned back around to face me. "Let's go." He demanded before he took my hand in his and we walked out of the gates of the park.

I turned my head to face the guy who laid flat out on the ground before I stuck my tongue out, taunting him.

I laughed and when I looked up I spotted Antonio smirking, trying to hide a laugh as well.

~

On the way back to Antonio's place I didn't wear a helmet. Instead, I let my hair fly free as the breeze struck my face repeatedly. I took my hands off of Antonio's waist before I threw them in the air, smiling so hard that my cheeks started hurting.

He parked in the front of his house before he helped me off of the motorcycle. We walked to his front door before he unlocked it. When we heard music blasting we figured that the party hadn't ended yet. We walked downstairs to the basement to a wretched smell. It smelt like death in there.

Antonio stopped the music before everybody turned to face him. "Get out," he said calmly, not even raising his voice. That was all he had to say for everyone to scram out of the door.

When he saw Royal, Aleeah, and Clover about to walk out he stopped them, "Y'all can stay." They stopped in their tracks before they each nodded their heads.

"Toni, can I stay?" I heard Drea from the corner of the room.

I looked over at an intoxicated Clover who was rolling her eyes to the back of her head at the sight of Drea. I laughed internally before I looked back over at Antonio.

"No," He told her blatantly.

What has gotten into him?? On a normal day, he would've said 'yes' without thinking twice.

She looked like a toddler. Whining as she stomped out of the door before slamming it behind her.

"Y'all can take any room upstairs, except for the middle room. The fourth door to the left" Antonio said before he headed for the basement stairs.

"Does that mean we're having Christmas here?" Clover asked, excited.

Antonio shrugged his shoulders before he said, "I can make that work."

I rolled my eyes before we all followed him upstairs.

~

An hour had passed and it was dead silent. Antonio slept peacefully beside me on his bed, snoring lowly before I heard a knock on his bedroom door.

I assumed that he wasn't a heavy sleeper because his eyes shot open before he answered, "Come in."

At the door stood a restless Clover. She sauntered into the room, closing the door behind her before she sat on the sofa and grabbed the TV remote.

Antonio didn't even bother to sit up to see who was at the door and why. I rolled my eyes before I asked, "What are you doing?"

She turned around before she smirked at me and said, "Sorry, am I interrupting something?" She bumped fists implying that Antonio and I were having sex.

I facepalmed myself at her stupidity before I fell back into the bed, waking Antonio for good. He looked over at me, almost annoyed. His facial expression made me giggle before he turned on his back and leaned up.

We both watched as Clover put a cartoon on the TV.

Sleeping Beauty.

For some odd reason, Clover and Royal- mainly Clover were obsessed with cartoons and kid shows. I didn't understand how anybody could watch these types of things every time they turned on a TV.

Antonio and I looked at each other, eyebrows furrowed, not wanting to watch the movie.

About an hour later, when the movie went off the three of us started having a debate. "It's real!" Clover shouted.

"Of course, you think true love's kiss is real," I said to Clover.

"Shut up, you wouldn't even know. You've never had true love." Clover joked, but seriously.

Antonio facepalmed himself before he said, "It don't matter. It ain't like neither of y'all gonna trip on a fucking spinning wheel."

"But it's not even about that!" Clover and I both said in sync.

Antonio sighed and fell back on his bed, smothering his face into his pillow before Clover and I continued our debate for about ten more minutes until Clover decided to leave the room due to all the animosity in the air.

Dramatic.

Antonio and I looked over at each other before we laughed at the meaningless argument. "Come here." He said softly.

When I was within an inch of him he pecked my lips quickly before he said, "Buon anotte, bellisima."

"Antonio..."

"Good night, Dawn," He said to me, translating his Italian words to English for me.

"Good night," I said before laying my head on his chest. His arm went around my neck, acting as a pillow as he laid flat on his back and I laid on my side. I could feel his heartbeat. Slow and steady as I began dozing off although, I was sure that he wasn't going back to sleep any time soon.

A couple of minutes later, I was in a deep sleep.

~

𝐀/𝐍:

𝐢 𝐝𝐞𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧... 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰, 𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫.

𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲😽