Dawn Evans

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He turned back around, facing me. He tilted his head back, slightly like an upward nod, asking why I'd stopped him from leaving. And quite honestly, I didn't know myself.

What the fuck is wrong with me.

"You can stay here," I said. As soon as the words slid off of my tongue, I was filled with embarrassment. "If you want," I added. I sounded desperate and I was anything, but desperate.

Mmhh, you seem kind of desperate to me.

Bitch, shut the fuck up.

My mind was everywhere as I waited for his response. It had only been 5 seconds since I told him he could stay, but here in my thoughts, it felt more like 5 hours.

He didn't respond. Instead, he walked in and closed the door behind him. He then sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard as he shut his eyes.

I sat back on the floor, where I was previously sitting. This time shoving my head into my knees, letting out a sigh.

"What's wrong?" He asked, still with his eyes shut.

I turned around and looked up at him. "What do you mean?" I raised an eyebrow. I knew why he was asking, but I wasn't the 'I like to share my feelings 24/7' kind of girl.

"Never mind," He finished, almost reading my mind.

I was exhausted. I had to take care of my mom, my missions, Clo, and I think school was a little more than I could handle right now.

I think he was more than I could handle too. I'd never acted so dumb over a guy. And then all of a sudden, he walks in and I'm acting like Patrick Star?

"Do you ever wonder if the things you're holding onto are the things that are holding you back?" I asked him, putting my head back in my knees.

A couple seconds went by. At first I thought he was just flat-out ignoring me, but I realized that he was just trying to find a response to my loaded question.

"I think that's the point," he answered.

I didn't understand. I raised an eyebrow, scrunching my face as I turned to look over at him again to find his eyes already on me.

He sat up and sighed, almost as if he couldn't believe that he had to explain this to me. "The things you hold onto, keep you grounded. They keep you, you." He stared at me, trying to find the words to finish his explanation. And the more he stared at me, the more I started to notice his eyes. And they were beautiful.

"That's the shit that keeps you going," he continued. "Without them..." he paused looking away and then back again, never continuing his thoughts. His facial expression was cold and as I was looking into his eyes, I realized that they held so much more than beauty.

They held a good amount of pain. Death. Hurt. Brokenness. I recognized the damage in his eyes. I recognized them because I saw them every time I looked in the mirror.

They resembled mine.

We sat in silence until the door slammed open. A group of five boys lingered by the door. They were drunk, very drunk. They saw me and walked back outside the door frame. They continued on their search for an empty room.

Just as they were about to shut the door I saw Clover following them. She walked with a stagger. I instantly hopped up. I knew what would happen if I didn't stop her from going into the room with them.

I rushed to the door leaving Antonio on the bed. "Clo!" I shouted.

She turned to face me, stumbling a bit. She giggled lightly, "Oh, hey Dawn!"

"What are you doing?" I stepped closer toward her.

"Just having fun." She slurred her words.

"No, you're not," I assured her, grabbing her wrist before she shoved me away.

"Move!" She shouted.

"Yeah, move! She's old enough to know what she wants! Who do you think you are?" One of the boys behind Clover said.

My jaw dropped. I was shocked. I checked behind me to see who he was talking to. You know, just in case he was talking to someone else. When I checked, there was no one there. He must have been new. Everybody knew who I was, they knew what I was capable of.

I brushed passed Clover walking towards him. Before I threw a punch that tossed him to the floor.

Clover squealed. He got up before signaling the other four idiots to attack me. Before they had the chance to lay a finger on me I reached for my waist holster and pulled out my pistol. I pointed it at one of their heads.

Clover screamed and the boys raised both their hands above their heads in surrender. I didn't care, I'd shoot all of them one by one in their skulls and still get a good night's sleep.

"Come on, chill." One of them shouted over the music.

He obviously didn't know me. You couldn't get me 'chilled' after making me mad. Everyone knew this.

Well, I guess not.

Right before I was about to pull the trigger, something rubbed against my backside. I got a whiff of lavender before I looked up and saw Antonio looking down at me.

"You gotta calm down," he whispered. "Imagine what would happen if you killed these niggas right here. What would that do for you? How would that help you or your friend?" He stared at me, concentrating, trying to get me to relax. The refreshing smell of mint hitting my nostrils as he parted his lips.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and I looked down at his hands. I realized that he had just been trying to catch me off guard because all of a sudden, he swung his arm around my neck pulling me into a loose chokehold. He grabbed my hand in his freezing ones and lowered the gun. He shoved his face into my neck and then to my ear, breathing heavily, slowly calming me down.

"Dawn, relax."

He made my body shiver and soon I wasn't angry anymore. I felt nothing.

He signaled the boys to leave right before I shoved him in the abdomen with my elbow, taking the gun from his hands and pointing it at him after I was loosened from his grip.

He raised his hands above his head and slowly began walking backward and down the stairs, keeping his eyes on me the entire time. I wasn't actually gonna shoot him.

Okay.. maybe I was.

Nah, you weren't.

Oh my- shut the fuck up!

I began putting my gun in my waist holster after I looked over at Clover. She was angry with me and I expected that, but I was only trying to protect her. I walked passed her, into the empty room I had just left and she followed hesitantly.

Once we got into the room, we didn't say a word to each other. Instead, I pulled out my phone and dialed a number.

"Hello?" The voice said.

"Royal, I need you to come pick up Clover," I commanded.

"What happened?" He was worried, but I didn't even feel the need to explain.

I disregarded his question, "I'll text you the address." I hung up the phone and sat it on the bed beside me.

"You should go wait outside," I suggested as I stared at Clover.

She walked out of the room angrily, knowing that it'd be idiotic to argue with me right now.

After she left the room, I put my hair back in a bun and walked downstairs before getting a few drinks.

The music still blasted and I began to enjoy myself. I danced with half the boys at the party. Getting drink after drink. Until I started to feel dizzy and my sight went black.