Natalie POV

Alone, Scared, Terrified
to tell my family. Are some of the emotions I had in the back of my mind. I sit waiting in the Dr. Office. I was here for 1 reason. What reason, you ask. Well I hadn't been feeling like myself, and singing was getting harder to do because of my throat hurting.

"Natalie Herms?" The nurse called my name. I smiled at the last name I had. I got up and walked into the back examination room. i was scared, beyond scared, could it be real that something was going on with my thyroid. I also learned that it was effecting the way I sing. "Natalie, we got your results back and we wanna run more tests to find out how severe it is. Honey I'm so sorry but you have thyroid cancer." All I heard was the word cancer. 'Saten, bring it. You will NOT take me down. I am a child of the utmost high KING.' "Do what must be done." I responded. By this point I felt a strong peace come over my body. She explained to me what would happen, and I was released to go home. I took my time driving home for the fact that I cried and cried. I did have to pull over on the side of the road. Where was this about to take me? Would it effect my career, and how was I to tell my husband and 3 daughters. I cried and called out to God. Once I was calm enough to drive again, my redness and puffiness went away I drove the rest of the way. I arrived home, and hadn't even got completely in the house, before Sadie hugged me. "Well, hello there Sadie Bug. Where's daddy and your sisters?" She smiled at me. I knelt down to her level. "Someone lost their last baby tooth didn't they." She giggles and nods. "I'm a big girl now!!" She exclaimed. I smiled at my 6 year old. "Goodness gracious babygirl, time is flying." I responded. We both came completely in the house. "Hey, My Love." I heard my husband say as he kissed my cheek. I knew I'd have to tell him first before telling our babies. I meekly smiled, which alarmed him. Apparently he saw the sadness and fear in my eyes. "Sadie, go play while I talk to mommy. And find your sisters. They re too quiet." He laughed at that last part. I tried to smile but it wasn't happening. She ran to find her sisters. Once I heard them laughing and the bedroom door close I felt my world crash all around me. "Honey, talk to me. What's wrong." He asked me with a hint of worry in his voice. "Cancer." Was all I got out before I broke down in his arms. 15 minutes later I had myself composed. I was completely calm. I was able to explain to him about everything. He held me. "Baby, God has you in his arms. It's okay to be scared." He encouraged me. Bernie was very good about encouraging someone. His heart beat and love for God matched mine beautidully. If you were hurting he'd stop and pray for you in a heartbeat. He was the type of person who didn't care if he didn't know you or not. I smiled at my husband and kisses him. I layed my head on his chest. His hands placed on my waist. I smiled. "Bernie, they don't know if this will effect my singing. I'm so tired." He held me. I cried yet again. My face was red and splotchy. My breathing was heavy. I lay in our bed, praying, when Sadie and Bella came in and cloned in and hid in the covers with me. Sadies little eyes knew something was wrong. Bella was here for support of her sister. "Mama, what's wrong?" Sadie had asked me. I watched as Bernie and Gracie walked in. I didn't know how to explain this to them so Bernie did. "Mommy has an ouchie in her throat Sadie bug. She's gonna be sick." Sadie curled herself in my arms. I felt her little hand press itself against my throat and I heard her softly pray. She was our prayer worrior when none of us felt we could reach God she was there. She was the Miracle child. We struggled to conceive after the twins were born. I was scared and we went through some tough IVF ( in vitro fertilization) rounds. When we were about to give up and call it quits I found out I was pregnant with her. She was now asleep in my arms. I knew this because her hand fell to my heart and her breathing was even. Bernie climbed in beside me after making a pallet on the pullout bed in our bedroom. I wanted our bedroom to be big enough for those nights where I wanted our family to be in one room. Tonight was one of those occasions where I wanted one kid to snuggle with and the other 2 would be where I could lay my eyes on them. Gracie was curled into Bella. Bernie had me in his arms and I had a sleeping Sadie in mine. I felt Sadie stir in my arms before she became still again. She had her hand on my cheek as if she was about to pray again . I felt her fingers trace the areas that were effected. She was praying again. Our daughter had the Faith the size of texas. She could draw a fever out of anyone. She once layed hands on Bernie when he had a fever and commanded it be gone, and it was gone 10 minutes later. I saw a single tear run down her precious face. I held her as close to me as I could. She was full on crying now. "Shhhhh mama has you. Mommy will be ok sweetheart" God will take care of me. I kissed her head. She then fell asleep with my lips on her head.