Namaskaram 🙏

Date of Update: 12.01.2023

****

"Sanskar chora what are you doing?" Sujatha who entered his room asked him seeing him packing.

Sanskar stopped packing and looked at her. He held her hand and signed her to sit. He sat beside her holding her hand.

"Ma I need to go!" He said.

"Go? Where are you going?" she asked worried and anxious.

"Ma calm down. Listen to me. I need change. I need to go. I promise to come back as soon as possible. Please ma. Please understand me." He spoke holding her hand.

"But..." Sujatha gets interrupted.

Sanskar closed her mouth and shook his head with teary eyes. Seeing him like that Sujatha cupped his face concerned.

"Beta what happened?" She asked concerned.

Sanskar hugged her tight controlling his emotions.

"Ma please don't ask any questions just think that your son is going for good. I promise you once again that I will return as soon as possible." Sanskar said after he broke the hug.

Sujatha sighed and nodded. She looked at his clothes and started helping him in packing. Sanskar sighed seeing his mother.

*****

"You sit here. I will bring juice for you." Swara said as she made Ragini sit on her bed in her room.

Ragini just got discharged and came back home. Ragini sat there on her bed thinking something very deep. Swara entered with a glass of juice. She sighed seeing Ragini in deep thoughts. She moved towards her.

"Ragu!" Swara called her.

Ragini looked at her and took the glass which Swara is forwarding.

"What are you thinking Ragu?" Swara asked.

"Definitely not about what happened with both of us since few months." Ragini spoke taking a sip of juice.

Swara sat beside her looking at her.

"Then?" Swara asked confused.

"It's high time, I think about myself Swara. It's high time I let me but everybody to take decisions of my life." Ragini spoke.

"Would you mind being clear?" Swara asked.

"No. I won't mind. But not now. I am feeling weak. I need to rest. You also get some rest. You didn't sleep whole night." Ragini said cupping Swara's face.

Swara sighed and nodded.

****

'Tup!' we hear a slap sound. Sanskar stood in front of his friends with his hand on his cheek and mouth open wide. 'Tup' another slap sound. Sanskar stood with his two hands on his two cheeks.

"First one! For using your useless brain and letting her go at the first." Aditya, his friend said glaring him.

Sanskar nodded like a kid.

"Second one! For leaving her once again and coming here!" Zoya his another friend, and Aditya's wife spoke glaring him.

He again nodded like a kid.

"Now go home and freshen up. Then come and indulge yourself in work!" Zoya said looking into the file she was working before Sanskar entered and started telling what has happened back in Bangalore all these months.

"So cruel friends." Sanskar whispered.

"We heard!" AdiYa spoke at a time.

Sanskar immediately kept his hands on both his cheeks and ran outside their cabin. AdiYa laughed looking at each other immediately.

"Hope he gets back his love soon Zoya. He has gone through a lot." Aditya spoke looking the way Sanskar went.

"And she has gone through a lot too Aditya. Both of them need each other. I don't know how but all I want to do is try uniting them." Zoya spoke.

Aditya held her hand and nodded assuring her through his eyes. Zoya nodded and they continued their work.

****

Sanskar kept looking around the city, Mumbai as the driver is taking him to AdiYa's house. It was his house too few months ago. He memorized all those five years where this city had been his home and also had given him life. He had established a company there and had a great professional life. Now he may had given up his company but he could still feel that place as his home. He could still feel that this place is going to help him in healing him once again. He could still feel that he is going to get a fresh life once again.

His thoughts went to Ragini. He remembered her asking him to stay away from them. He remembered how innocent she was when he first saw her. He remembered the change in her after his entry in her life. She might have changed but that innocence in her eyes still stayed. How much he wants to see into those eyes and tell her that he is going to make everything fine but all he needs is her in his life! How much he wants to apologise to her for what he has done to her and tell her how much he loves her! How much he wants to just hug her tight and show that her heart will be safe in his hands! How much he wants to ask her to hold his hand and he would never let her go! But he knows that it's impossible now. She directly asked him to stay away from her life. Only thing he doesn't want to do. But he had to do it because he knows she needs space and time. He needs that too may be. Hope after getting some time for herself she doesn't hate him for what he has done to her.

He sighed as driver got him out of his thoughts as they reached the house now his home or just a place to live. He is just living now. Nothing would make him excited or happy anymore. He knows only she herself would make him happy. Her mere voice is enough to bring life in him back again. Yet he came to that city with a hope to heal himself, to make himself adapt to the life where he would be without her. All these months sacrificing his love wasn't easy but he did it about her happiness. Every time he saw her as someone else's wife killed him bit by bit yet he stood strong thinking that she is happy for getting married to her love. But things turned out the other way. Her whole life turned upside down when her husband didn't feel she is the one for him even after months of their married life. May be he doesn't deserve her. Or she doesn't deserve to be loved. This thought had killed her when she found out he got divorced to her by misplacing the documents. By playing with her trust. He realised that everything would have been different if he didn't let her go and help her that day to gain her love. May be his love would have changed her and make her fall for him. Would it have happened? Or would he have become another Ragini who always craved love of the partner and Ragini another Laksh not able to love their partner and finding their solace in some other person?

Many thoughts are just messing his brain. He switched on the shower standing under it along with his clothes on letting the winter cold water touch his body. He didn't feel any cold even after standing in the winter cold water in Mumbai. If it was a normal state of mind person he would have been shivering feeling himself freezing due to cold but he is not in his normal state of mind. His heart is aching of the pain of losing his love and his brain is exhausted of the blaming game he is playing inside himself.

He moved out after drenching for almost half an hour in that cold water. He sighed feeling hungry. May be after almost 36 hours he felt his body needs something to survive. He moved towards kitchen taking his phone which is ringing continuously since long which he ignored. He took the call sighing as he can't hurt his mother.

"Haan Mom!" he said with low voice taking the call.

"Atleast tell me where are you? I swear I won't tell to anybody or will not ask you to come back." Sujatha spoke teary eyed.

Sanskar sighed.

"Mumbai!" he said.

Sujatha just sobbed in phone.

"Mom please!" He requested holding kitchen slab.

"I am fine! You just take care! Please don't stop talking to me. That's all!" She said in between her sobs.

"Mom I am sorry! I promise I will talk atleast once for a day to you. I promise!" he said.

Sujatha sobbed for few more minutes before getting convinced that her son wouldn't leave her like before. He would be atleast in touch with her.

"What is dad doing?" he asked.

"He went to office. He asked me to tell you to call him. He is also worried for you. And don't ask about others. They don't care anyway." Sujatha said wiping her tears.

Sanskar smiled at his mother. He knows that 'no one cares' is the answer his mother would give. But they definitely love him. Now nobody are in a condition to care about others though.

"Ma also didn't?" he asked.

"She asked about you. I told you went out of station with friends!" Sujatha said.

"You said no one cares then?" Sanskar asked.

"Now you want to prove me wrong about them. That's why you are talking to me right?" she asked angrily.

"Mom! I am just saying that there are people who care there too. It's just that you don't realise. Leave it. But promise me you will look after yourself and papa." He asked.

"I will!" she replied.

"What's Uttara Doing?" he asked.

"She must be doing some gossip with her new bhabhi! It seems she is a fashion designer and you know about Uttara's obsession to become one so she is in enquiry mode!" Sujatha made faces.

Sanskar just smiled. They can't just ignore others that are living under same roof.

"It's okay mom! She is a kid. And also not like us to be selfish. She loves everyone with whole heart. You know she is like that... just like a kid. Pure hearted. Don't worry. Ask her to concentrate on her studies. And tell her that her brother promised her to fulfil all her dreams." Sanskar said.

Sujatha just sighed.

"And Lucky?" Sanskar asked.

"He went to office. None talked to him though. But he didn't make any scene nor his wife did." She said.

Sanskar just smiled a little.

"Shall I cut the call now?" he asked.

"Umm... okay! Have food properly. I will also take care of myself but only if you keep your promise of calling me atleast once everyday. And don't forget to talk to your father atleast for once!" Sujatha said.

"Okay!" he said and cuts the call.

He sighed and sat on the couch taking the plate of bread and jam he had made himself while talking to his mother. He munched his food with indulged in his thoughts. He got ready after having food and moved out of the house to reach office again so that he can indulge in some work.

****

Thank You for reading!

With Love

Dharani (Dhaరणि)