don't let me have a life that isn't the one i have with her.

Elis and Gray sat on top of the hill, with their legs crossed and eyes catching each other every time they shifted their gaze from the sky. Swirls of orange shades filled their view as they stretched all through the inches of the canvas above, leaving no part of it unscathed of the significant beauty in which they gave. Elis reached out to grab Gray's hand, the beauty of the setting sun not matching that of the ginger girl when she smiled in return.

She was the most beautiful person Elis has ever met, if she ever thought of the words so plainly. Gray's beauty reached more than to what met the eye. And that was why Elis found herself so deep into Gray's hold that she wasn't herself anymore. It wasn't just her because both girls became conjoined.

And Elis had longed to feel that way, to intertwine Gray's hand in hers, which would be the physical illustration of how their souls have come together, living on that summer in a world that felt too little compared to the endless infinity of their combined universe.

"It's beautiful," the curly haired girl said, meeting Gray's hazel eyes once again. "You're beautiful." She breathed, acknowledging how the sun reflected itself against Gray's naturally tanned skin, as if she was the human form of the sunset herself.

The ginger girl breathed, words failing her as she leaned against Elis more. And the thought of only ever wanting Gray that close revisited Elis's mind, as the curly haired girl took a drag from her smoke.

Nobody could quite make her feel the way that Gray did. It was only Gray who could just, by a single touch, throw Elis into a world of exuberance, expressing itself in the most tranquil of ways, and a world full of nothing but love. The feeling was so overwhelming that if it were water, Elis would already find herself drowning under it.

But that's all she's ever known since meeting Gray.

The ginger girl ignited a fire in the depths of Elis's grief, burning it away that it was replaced by whatever good the curly haired girl felt. And if she ever wanted a person in this life, it would be her. If she ever imagined a future at all, it would include Gray.

And so Elis wanted to say it. She didn't care that Gray already knew, that her actions spoke for themselves. She still wanted to utter the words, and tell Gray that she loved her, that she loved her so eminently it was unbearable.

"I might not know a lot about Shakespeare, but I do know a quote," Elis breathed into Gray's hair as the ginger girl leaned against Elis's shoulder. "It says... Doubt thou that the stars are fire, doubt thou that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt that I love."

Gray shifted closer to the taller girl, her heart pulsating so fast in her chest that she was almost afraid it would fail her. But not quite that, because whenever she was with Elis, the ginger girl couldn't feel more alive.

"And you," Elis continued, the act of holding Gray not even enough to satisfy how much she wanted her close. "You're that part of my life. And Gray... I swear... Everytime I even spare you a glance I feel full to my soul. I feel love and inspiration. I feel so different and I know you're my treasure, the most precious thing that's ever happened in my life."

Elis was showing to Gray everything, and Gray wouldn't ever do anything to take advantage of the amount of vulnerability Elis was, because it was the same for her. She wouldn't ever feel complete without Elis.

And so as they sat on top of the highest hill in that wilderness, on that summer afternoon watching the captivative sunset, it was then that Elis was glad to have said something to Gray, that she would even have a remote idea of what the curly haired girl felt. Because words didn't even do those feelings justice.

And even when the darkness took away what was left of the color in the sky, and both girls walked along the lonely streets, holding hands, Elis stopped their walk, pinning Gray against a wall, and then she kissed her.

That kiss imprinted itself inside of Gray, which would be one of the reminders of Elis and their love, should the ginger girl never get to live it again.

And when the darkness fully took over, when Elis and Gray returned to the balcony outside her room, Elis pulled out a pack of Marlboro's, handing Gray the lighter as the ginger girl gave her an unbelievable look.

"You already smoked like... Three times today."

"It's one of those days for me," Elis had said, balancing the cigarette between her teeth and leaning forward for Gray to light it for her, an unwritten rule between the two.

"What days?" Gray inquired, as Elis inhaled a long smoke.

"I smoke whenever I feel an excessive amount of an emotion. Either one, or many that I can't figure out. It's kind of like my way of dealing with them because I never know how," the taller girl exhaled.

"And how are you feeling now?"

"I feel so much love. I feel... Unexplainable, actually. But yeah, love and an insanely gorgeous ginger girl have a lot to do with it." 

The ginger girl beamed, feeling as if all the heat in her body rushed to her face, that she'd soon combust in a heat stroke.

"Let me," Gray said, holding her hand out to the cigarette between Elis's fingers.

"Gray..."

"I'm curious," Gray explained. "I wanna know how if feels."

"Is it because I always smoke in front of you?"

"It's not that," Gray contrasted. "I just want to try it out."

"So let me get this straight," the taller girl sighed. "You don't think of smoking at all, and it's when a nineteen year old girl comes around and smokes in front of you, that you suddenly feel like you want to do it too?" The curly haired girl frowned. "That kind of like makes me a bad influence, don't you think?"

It was one way of putting it, but Gray was just a girl experiencing a lot of things for the first time.

"But what if it's me that wants to do it?"

"Then I wouldn't want to have influenced you into that decision in anyway. Plus," Elis pointed out, "Aunt Lauren would kill me."

"Well... if so then okay," Gray smiled. "I still want to have some nineteen year old girl with curly hair and a nice smile around."

Elis couldn't help but feel her stomach erupting in so much flips and twists, because Gray thought she had a nice smile. And if Elis ever wanted to be complimented at all, it would be in the way that Gray did, it would all be from Gray, who Elis saw as the epitome of beauty in all it's ways.

"Come here," Elis said, standing up, and holding her hand out to Gray. Elis led the ginger girl back into the room, where she took a deep breath to calm her nerves over what she was about to do.

Elis kneeled down to pull the case from under her bed, opening up the items that belonged to Bryson, and took out the bracelet that matched the one on her wrist.

It was the bracelet that gave the meaning of never wanting to be apart, never actually being apart, and Elis wouldn't ever give the bracelet to anybody else now that it wasn't on Bryson anymore. But she felt, she knew, that Gray was a person, to Elis, who she couldn't forget, who she insanely loved, and who she never wanted to be apart from.

And so she pulled Gray's left hand, the ginger girl watching implausibly as Elis secured it around her wrist.

"Elis... " Gray trailed off, eyeing the chained bracelet on her wrist before looking back at Elis, who then kissed her, the kiss catching Gray off-guard.

"I want you to wear it now."

"Elis... Are you sure?"

"Remember what you said about approaching the memories hidden in this case? That's what I'm doing now. I'm setting them free, everything."

But it wasn't just that. It was because Elis understood that she couldn't go back to her old reality anymore, but she had found a new one. With Gray.

The ginger girl became everything to Elis. Everything, in that Elis would save up all the moments that Gray touched her in a bottle that would serve as a personal ecstasy liquor, which would be the kind of drink that would leave her drunk in love every time she took a sip.

And holding her gaze, Elis wished for one thing. That she didn't lose her.