White noise.

That's all Jeno heard as the world sped around him in a chaotic mess. In his small bubble though the white noise muffled and blocked out that chaos, leaving him untouched. He and Jaemin were shrouded in and protected by a peaceful veil; it was as if time had stopped just for them.

Jeno looked down at Jaemin's peaceful face and caressed his cheek. He gently swept his fingers over the smooth hairs of his eyebrows, along his sleek, long eyelashes and skimmed the back of his fingers across the soft tiny hairs on his cheek.

“Oh Jae,” He whispered.

He didn't want Jaemin to leave, he didn't want to be left alone. Jaemin was his everything, his guiding light which had now been snuffed out.

He was now left blind and deaf to the world around him. Nothing seemed real anymore. The only thing he knew with certainty was that he was with Jaemin and he wouldn't leave his side. He wasn't ready to let go.

Unfortunately, it seemed the world did not want that. Jeno felt someone tug at his arm, trying to pull him away from Jaemin.

“No!” He shouted, yanking himself free from their grip and sinking his fingers into the front of Jaemin's hoodie.

His palm flattened against Jaemin's chest; there was nothing. No heartbeat, no movement, nothing. Only stillness and silence.

A set of hands came to rest on his shoulders and tried to pull him backward.

“No! Let me go!” He yelled again, trying to shake the hands off of him.

“...no… Jeno… Jeno you need to come with us.”

“No I won't leave him! I can't leave him!” Jeno cried, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's limp body.

He squeezed him tightly and nuzzled his face against Jaemin's chest, his tears saturating and darkening the pink fabric of his hoodie. Beneath his fingers, Jaemin's back felt… wrong. There were bones where there shouldn't be that moved and shifted with just the pressure of his fingers.

Why was he like this? Jaemin felt different and unfamiliar and Jeno just wanted him to be how he was before. To smile at him one more time; to laugh with him one more time; to kiss him one more time.

I will love you. Always.

Jeno heard Jaemin whisper those words in his mind and he scrunched his face up in pain. Sorrow wrapped it's cold fingers around his heart and squeezed, more tears flowed from his eyes, unable to stop as sorrow forced his sadness and grief to the surface.

“Jeno, we need you to come with us, your friends are waiting for you.”

The hands that were trying to separate him from Jaemin returned to his shoulders and were more forceful this time. They pulled him off of Jaemin and lifted him backwards.

“No, no, no, no!” He wept, his fingers slipping from Jaemin.

Arms enveloped around him, locking his arms to his sides. Jeno attempted to fight them but a wave of grief washed over him, sapping away his strength and energy. He let them drag him further away from Jaemin, severing the calm bubble that surrounded them.

The chaos was now free to infect him and his body shook as he looked around with wide eyes.

The sky had darkened to a sombre grey and heavy cloud blanket the horizon, threatening rain. Red and blue lights flashed silently from the roofs of stationary police cars and ambulances, lighting the area with intermittent colours.

People were everywhere. Uniformed cops and paramedics swarmed around Mark and Jaemin, one placing a white tarp over Mark's mangled body. Others were securing the area, forming a human chain to block the public and push them back while others roped off the area.

Curious onlookers, the ones who hadn't seen what had happened craned their necks to try and look past the officers; those who had seen looked distraught and lost and stood huddled together comforting one another.

Jeno continued to be pulled further away from Jaemin, from the crowds, from the chaos. He was steered around a police car and then gently turned around. His eyes were torn away from the terrible scene before him and locked onto a familiar face.

Haechan ran towards him and threw his arms around him with enough force to cause Jeno to stumble backward until his back hit the side of the police car. Jeno clung to him, hugging him back and looked over his shoulder as Jisung ran over, his spectacles sprinkled with tears. He wrapped his arms around both of them and leant his head against Jeno's.

“Jeno I'm so sorry! Jaemin and th-then Mark, I- I can't believe it!” Haechan's sobs were muffled against Jeno's shoulder. “We went after you as fast as we could but then I saw it- I saw you and J-Jaemin and… oh my God Jeno it's horrible!” Words tumbled uncontrollably from his mouth and he hugged Jeno tightly.

“We're here.” Jisung whispered.

“Yes!” Haechan quickly affirmed. “We're here Jeno, we're here for you…”

Haechan continued to speak though his words no longer registered to Jeno as his eyes searched the surrounding area for Mrs Na.

Mrs Na, who had now just lost her son to such tragic circumstances. Jeno had always tried his hardest to look after Jaemin and help lessen the burden of caring for him that he knew Mrs Na struggled with, but now… now Jaemin was gone and he wasn’t coming back. Jeno had lost his beautiful boyfriend and in the same way simultaneously Mrs Na had lost her beautiful son. Jeno knew she must be feeling that great cavernous hole of darkness and grief that now hollowed him like a thin shell.

He spotted her a couple of meters away, knelt down as if her legs no longer had the will to hold her upright, her arms hanging limply at her sides as she stared blankly towards where her son lay on the pavement.

Jeno recognised Detective Jun crouched down next to her with an arm wrapped around her shoulder. She looked defeated, an expression Jeno had never thought he’d see on the face of such a confident, strong willed woman.

This is real… this really is real…

… but why can’t it just be a nightmare?

Jeno’s hands fell to his sides as energy drained from his body. His vision blurred and fogged over. Someone was trying to speak to him and was shaking him, was it Haechan? Jeno couldn’t tell anymore.

His eyelids felt heavy and he struggled to keep his head up. His body slumped forward and someone’s arms wrapped around him, keeping him from falling.

Off in the distance he heard the soft click of a door closing.

A shrill scream rang out through the air.

Warm laughter echoed, a familiar soothing melody…

… Jaemin.