TITLE: Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry......and Aliens
AUTHOR: WhovianHarkness
SUMMARY: 'Ianto's day was going rather well until he got turned into an eleven year old'
When Captain Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato and Gwen Cooper get turned into children and sent to Hogwarts, what can go wrong? Or rather, what can't.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Torchwood belongs to BBC wales, Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, and most of my inspiration comes from the book 'The magic of Torchwood' on fanfiction.net'

Owen was woken rather early in the morning by a loud tapping downstairs, followed by a crash and a yelp.
He ran downstairs, joined by the others, to see Gwen standing by the window, an owl on her head, and four others in the room.
One owl planted itself on the table near Owen, and he glared at it, started a face ofc which must have looked rather comedic from an outside perspective.
Another owl had landed a respectful distance from a fearful looking Tosh, and Jack had one flying around his head while he swatted at it.
Ianto walked in, held his arm out, and the owl landed on his forearm, where he untied a letter from it's leg, and gave it some food from a box in the cupboard labelled 'Owl Food'.
He then helped Jack subdue his bird, as Tosh managed to get her own letter.
Owen scowled. Stupid, perfect little teaboy. He unattached the letter from his owl's leg and opened it.
"Acceptance letter and kit list" he told them, still glaring at the owl.
Ianto grinned, and when ge had finally got Gwen's owl off her head, he let them out and led the Torchwood team over to the fireplace.
"Say Diagon Alley very clearly, throw some floo powder in. Keep your eyes closed and elbows tucked in"
He sent Jack first, instructing him on exactly how to get out without falling or getting covered in ash. He also made them all say Diagon Alley three times to his standards before they went.
Owen went second, and barely managed to get out without faceplanting, although he smiled smugly at the soot on Jack's face. When they were all through (Gwen ended up sprawled on the ground for the second time in as many days), Ianto led them from the small 'floo room', into the main part of a pub. He looked longingly at the bar, before forcibly reminding himself that he was now underage.
"Hello Tom" Ianto addressed the toothless old innkeeper.
"Hello again Ianto, my haven't you grown. So sorry to hear about your great-grandfather"
Ianto momentarily looked sad, before gesturing to them. "I don't suppose you could get us into the alley?"
"Of course, of course"
He lead them into a dingy backyard and after tapping a certain brick, that Owen was sure Ianto had memorized, the wall melted away to form an archway.
He heard a suppressed gasp from Tosh, and even he had to fight the amazed look from his face.
Ianto seemed to be the only person who wasn't even slightly stunned, as they followed him towards a large white building.
"Gringotts. Wizarding bank"
He noticed Jack reading the inscription above the door.
"Even I wouldn't try to rob this bank"
"You speak from experience?"
"You surprised?"
Owen stifled a laugh. No. He really wasn't.
They walked into the bank, and Ianto walked up to a funny looking creature.
"Please can I access my vault. Ianto Jones" he handed over a key. "And....." he glanced at Jack and they had one if their infamous silence conversations.
Owen was certain they were just for show. Jack probably looked at him and thought 'what is this thing?' (Or, knowing Jack, something a lot less appropriate), and Ianto probably stared solemnly back, thinking 'I want coffee'?.
He assumed that if their silent conversations were real, Jack had agreed to whatever the suggestion was.
".....and can you please see if there is a 'Torchwood' vault"
The creature nodded and walked off. As soon as he was out of earshot, Ianto turned to whisper to them "he's a goblin."
Owen nodded, along with Jack and Tosh, but Gwen looked at it....him....in horror. Owen hit her over the head with his kit list. "They aren't that bad. Jack would probably sleep with one"
Ianto gave a muffled snort of laughter as Jack nodded amicably.
The goblin came back.
"There is a Torchwood vault. Your names, please"
"Owen Harper, Jack Harkness, Toshiko Sato, Gwen Cooper, Ianto Jones" Owen rattled off, and the goblin nodded, before leading them towards a cart.
Owen grinned for the whole cart ride- he loved rollercoasters-although Tosh looked like she felt a bit sick.
They went to the Torchwood vault first, which even Owen bit back a gasp at the amount of money in there.
Ianto instructed them on the amount to take, in small leather bags, and took a sixth, larger bag, for "just in case".
They then went down to Ianto's vault, which had less coins but a lot of books and precious gems. He walked in, scooped up some more gold into yet another bag, and picked up a few specific books; Hogwarts a History, The Jones family history, and one that looked like a tattered old diary. He also picked up what looked like a photo frame. And then they were back in the cart and before they knew it, up in Diagon Alley again.

Ianto calmly led them around, starting at a robe shop, where Jack loudly complained at the fact that he preferred his coat, followed by an owl shop, where Owen got into yet another stare off with an owl, and only Ianto bought one.
They then went to buy books, something they all revelled in.
Ianto asked a store hand to get them five of each of the books on their list, while they discussed an extra topic each to study for background information.
"Shotgun politics. And blood status and traditions" Jack decided first.
"I'll take history, and the origins of spells." Ianto suggested. "Tosh, you want wizarding technology? You could see what can be enchanced with magic."
Tosh grinned widely. "Sure!"
Owen suddenly had an idea. "I'll take healing spells and potions" he smiled widely when Ianto nodded. That was his area.
Gwen looked stumped. "Gwen, do you want to study how people regard muggle borns, and the difference in culture?"
She nodded, and with that, they all went off to find books on their subjects. Owen chose three. A large tome on healing spells, an even larger book on potions in general, and the largest book was just named 'Healing for witches and wizards'.
Jack and Ianto met him at the checkout, each with a stack of about seven books, and Tosh joined them with what looked like ten, which she was using her chin to ensure she didn't drop. Gwen had five smaller books, and he could see that the top one was called 'the tales of beedle the bard'.
They all payed for the necessary books, but Ianto funded the others from the little 'just in case' pouch.
They then walked to a darkened shop where they bought cauldrons and potions equipment and ingredients, in Owen's case, a lot more than necessary.
Finally, they went to the shop Owen, at least, was most excited for. They walked into 'Ollivanders'. The wand shop. Owen had already made a good many jokes about Jack and wands.

They walked in to the darkened shop, as a pale, old man came out of the side room.
"Hello, I'm Mr Ollivander."
"Ianto Jones"
"Why yes, I remember your great grandfather, was it?"
"Yes, sir"
"Twelve inches, oak, unicorn tail hair"
" Eidetic memory?"
"Why yes, young Mr Jones. I remember every wand i ever sold"
Owen stifled a snort of laughter, and instead, busied himself talking to Tosh as the tape measure measured Ianto. From between the nostrils to the length of elbow to wrist. Owen was just waiting for it to measure the inner leg, but it didn't.
Owen watched as a few wands were tried......god, he'd never be able to say that word again.
When Ianto sat back down with a wand made of a dark wood, that had caused all of the wands to be shelved neatley in a very Ianto-like manner, it was Owen's turn. He stayed as still as he could for the tape, but swatted it away when it tried to measure his inner thigh.
He tried seven wands to no avail, until the eighth lit up the room with a ghostly grey light that made the others shudder but made him feel comfortable, if a bit eerie.
He sat down with the wand, (eleven and a half inches, beech, unicorn tail hair, which he was told was excellent for potions and healing spells).
Gwen's wand lit the room up a bright blue, Tosh made numbers appear on the walls, glowing bright yellow. Owen assumed it was code or binary or some other technobabble. Jack, who seemed to take great delight in letting the tape-measure measure his inner thigh, projected bright, swirling multicolour into the room, and grinned.
After being dragged into the 'quidditch' shop by Jack and Ianto, who each bought basic brooms to practice on in the garden, they all flood home. Owen landed in the living room first with ash smeared over his face, which he washed off quickly so the others would never have to know. Luckily.

I will publish the next chapter when I get 3 votes and two comments