gryffindor: the dad with more dad jokes than the ocean has water

ravenclaw: random cousin who has no idea what they're doing with their life but can explain why grass is vital to history

hufflepuff: quiet grandpa who can talk to everyone. secretly profiles every boy/girl/date friend of his family so he knows how he would murder them

slytherin: two sisters, one being the vodka aunt who is a CEO and knows how to break your back. the second is the intense soccer mum