A/N: smalls are old fashioned underwear.

The sun was setting upon Ered Luin as people were making thier way back home wherever they worked. From a tavern laughter could be heard each time the doors opened allowing a new or past patron through them. Sitting at the bar drinking ales was Fili and Kili Durin, future princes of Erebor. It had been a long day working at the forges today...they both decided an ale was order before heading home to their mother, who was making dinner for when they arrive home. Fili sighed heavily..lost in thought and worry..not really touching his ale before him.

"Kili...what are we going to do?" Fili groaned out at his brother. "Uncle is getting to be down right unbearable this week. Hes been worrying over this trip hes taking us on. Going on and on about "Not enough Gold!"" Filis tone mimicked Thorins perfectly, then he ran a hand down his face in frustration. Kili just sighed heavily back..no words needed..he understood what his brother was saying. As they both were sitting there Kili noticed some tavern workers were setting up a stage at one end of the tavern...peaking Kilis curiosity, so he turned to the bar keep to find out.

"Whats going on over there?" watching the man cleaning a mug as he answered Kilis question.

"Oh ..its just the Chippydells are in town tonight and we are hosting them here." he saw the look of confusion on the young darrows faces. " You know...Chippydells..theyre a dance troupe that strips for money." he could see that neither dwarf believed him and it was confirmed by Filis remark.

"You mean people pay to see men strip?Why not just go home to watch their husbands do that? Its free then," the man just laughed at him.

" Well I guess women want to see something else other than what they can get at home." Fili snorted at such an odd notion, but Kili was intrigued.

"How much do they get for that?" an idea was forming in the dark haired princes mind as the barman scratched his chin..thinking.

"Well...lets see..its 5 gold entrance fee...beyond that im really not sure, but its gotta be good cause while these men are dancing, the women are stuffing coins down the dancers smalls or in jars that are situated upon the tables...and those jars fill up pretty fast after each man has done his bit." now Fili was curious too.

"I take it theres alot of women who come to this?" he heard the man chuckle.

"Aye.I get roughly 50-100 women for this kind of entertainment. It makes a really good night for me. "  another customer called his attention at that moment as they both turned to look at each other.

"Kili?" "Fili?" they said in unison..then they both smiled..having the same idea at the same time.

"I think we found a way to help uncle get his funding for this adventure." Fili nodded in agreement with Kili. " Just think brother..5 gold per person times 50..thats 250 gold, bare minimum...if its more than 50 were looking at..at..."Kili stumbled at the number.

"500 gold." Fili could not stop his excitement  at the mention of all that gold. Their thoughts were interrupted by a drunk woman sitting close to them at the bar as she laughed at what she heard them saying.

"So, yeh boys thinking yeh can do it?" she laughed drunkenly at them." Good luck. Word of advice lads..the more clothes you take off..the more gold comes yur way. Heck ..I would be willin to pay twice that if a man is willin teh go the Full Monty." she laughed harder..almost falling out of her chair then walked away..leaving them to ponder her words. Slowly Kili turned to look at his brother..the gears of his mind really churning now.

"Fili..di she say double the gold?" Fili nodded..just as stunned as the younger." Oh Mahal..thats...thats...1000 gold." the last word was said in a whisper. Filis eyes were wide at the prospect of such earnings..then his brows furrowed.

"Wonder what a Full Monty is?" Fili tried to think hard...but clueless about it.

"I dont know.Lets go ask Nori..he would know probaly." with that they both left the tavern to go and find their thief friend...which the friendship was a secret of course. Uncle Thorin or mister Dwalin wouldnt like it if the princes associated with someone with such a shady past.

They found him at his house watching over his younger brother Ori, who wasnt that much older than the princes. It took them a bit to explain their idea to him..after the mention of gold Nori became very interested..that is until Ori walked in announcing how he wanted in. There was a brief argument between the two brothers but eventually Ori won...only after the threat of telling a certain older brother , Dori...after that it was quickly settled. Kili finally asked about the only uncertain part of this venture of theirs and Nori almost died laughing at thier faces when they found out.

"Nori...whats a Full Monty?" Nori sputtered and laughed so hard tears poured down his face but then he got his bearings.

"Well lads...thats when you take off all your clothes..you go all the way." all three of the youngsters stared at him in shock...Ori recovered first.

"Makes sense. Im still in." noticing three pairs of eyes focused upon him in surprise irritated him and made him a bit defensive." What? You think just cause im a bookworm that I dont got the stones for it?" seeing they indignation on Oris face they quickly banished that thought from themselves...even though that was what they were thinking...and shook their heads in denial to appease him.

It took several days of careful planning and getting the dancers together..especially since they had to do it in secret so certain uncles or brothers didnt find out..but they finally got the group set. They even settled on a name that wouldnt reveal who they were till the last moment..The Rough Darrows.  In this group was none other than Fili, Kili, Nori, Ori, Bofur and surprise of surprises Bombur who showed such grace and coordination.. better than his brother Bofur. Nori  had a friend who made risque clothes and she supplied the garments for this..on one conditionthough, she wanted a signed autograph from each of the dancers...anywhere she wanted it. It was agreed by all, so now they were outfitted properly. All that they lacked was a moment when Thorin was away on a business trip, then they could do this..that day finally came one early spring morning.

Thorin had just ridden out of Ered Luin with mister Dwalin at his side, to do some work one last time before they had to leave for their quest in retaking Erebor. They were heading over to some town a days ride from theirs to do some labor work...hopefully earn enough gold that they wouldnt have to ask from their cousin Dain, Iron Hills king. Fili and Kili smiled with those reassuring smiles of theirs, telling the men to not worry, everything would be fine here at home and that they would see the two men when they get back. The two princes waved goodbye to the retreating riders and as soon as they were out of sight they bumped fists camaraderie, smiling michieviously as they left to gather the group. It was perfect..uncle Thorin and Dwalin were gone for a month..their mother was leaving in 2 weeks for 2 weeks soon...it was the perfect time to put their plan into action. Nori would hand out the flyers..sending out by both paper and word of mouth to his associates that a dance group was going to perform in 3 weeks time.

~ Come see the Rough Darrows perform the Full Monty...Here In Ered Luin For Your Pleasure!~could be heard all over townfor the next two weeks. At one point Fili and Kili began to sweat because their momma Dis asked them if they knew anything about this group coming to town..after all it was going to be in the very tavern that they frequented on a regular basis..they pretended to not know anything. "Come on momma...as if we keep up with something like that. Not interested in a bunch of guys shaking their willies at a bunch of women." Fili said over breakfast one morning. She got up from the table appeased with that answer..not seeing  Kili giving him the thumbs up for good job.

That night finally arrived..the big night they had all practiced hours so hard for. It was perfect weather..no rain in the sky to keep patrons away..not to hot or to cold...just perfect. Inside the tavern the men gathered...getting ready for thier big debut tonight.

"I look to good in this..wow..can you believe all this awesomeness here?" Kili came out of the dressing room strutting in the outfit he had just put on...flexing his muscles as he looked at himself in the mirror on the wall..the others rolled their eyes at him preening there. They all knew they looked super hot there in the clothes Nori had gotten them..even their smalls were custemed made for this night. 

"Shut up git..we all look good. So stop preening you bird and come help me with my hair, please." Fili knew Kili wouldnt be insulted by what he said.  As Kili came over to help braid Filis hair into perfect plaits he commented over at Bofur about his brother Bombur, who seemed to be the only one missing.

"Wheres Bombur? Hes going to miss going on if he doesnt arrive soon." Bofur shook his head in sadness as he adjusted his hat better on his head.

" Hes not comin. To embarrassed about his size..doesnt think any woman will come teh see him dancin out there." they all shook their heads, but they knew they couldnt stop after they had come this far..so they just kept preparing themselves...the show must go on.

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Across town in a home a dwarf woman was screeching at the top of her lungs. 

"Where did these come from? Whose are they? Is there something you wanna say?" Bombur was watching his beautiful wife, Baibre screaming at him in outrage...holding a piece of cloth in her fist..shaking it at him in her anger. It wasnt till she stopped her shrieking and tears began to fall down her cheeks before he could speak a word.

"My love..I.." he couldnt form the words as he stood there staring at Baibree..not really knowing how to tell her...it wasnt until her heart broken whispered words echoed throught he room, breaking him into pieces at what he had done to his love.

"Please..just tell me who she is. I deserve that." her head hung low as tears fell from her eyes..believing he had found another woman to warm his bed..no longer wanting her any more. Bombur broke down and told her the secret..what he had been doing this past few months...all of it, then after he was done he turned away...not wanting to her face if she was disgusted by all that he said.

"I cant do it...who would want to see all of this up there on that stage?" his voice was hoarse as he spoke. She took him by surprise as she came around...gently grabbing both sides of his beard to pull his head down to hers...touching foreheads as she gazed intensely into his eyes...her voice was strong as she spoke.

"I would. I would love to see all of this.." she gestured with one of her hands at him." ...dancing for me. I would pay 10 times over to see all of this. That would be the greatest honor...seeing my husband dancing for me..dancing for his wife who loves him with all her heart. Men glus alfan kaglem menu lyvv tess glus ( your the morning rain that brings me to life every morning)." the look in Baibres eyes was all he needed to see to give him the confidence to do this.

"Alright..Ill do it. My sanghiveshel (my perfect treasure)." he quickly stole a kiss from her lips then tore out of their home, heading for the tavern to get ready. Baibre chuckled as she followed him..knowing where her place was this night..up front near the stage, so her gorgeously rotund husband could see her as he danced..all for her.

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ANOTHER HOME ACROSS TOWN

Dis was sitting in her chair..alternating between anger and laughter. She just found out her sons were dancing tonight for money and she didnt know what to do. They had lied to her of all people...on one hand she couldnt blame them...strip dancing...if it was her she wouldnt want her parents to find out either...but really. It was getting later in the evening..almost time for it to start..or to be stopped. Suddenly she decided as she rushed out of the house.

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OUTSIDE OF TOWN ON THE ROAD...A BIT LATER

Two horses were galloping hard across the land in the dark..praying to not stumble because of the two hard headed, obstinate furious dwarves upon their backs. 

"Im going to beat those two when I get a hold of them. Hurry Dwalin, we cant let them disgrace the line of Durin." Thorin growled out to the other rider.

"Aye. What are they thinking?" the bald dwarfs growl was just as fierce as they spurred their mounts on. They had found out earlier today about what the two princes were doing back home from a certain dwarf...who felt Thorin needed to know what his nephews had been up to. He knew he had to stop this before it happened..he spurred the mount faster..praying to make it on time.