TAVERN..SHOWTIME?

It was time to start..everyone was gathered finally...even Bombur to Bofurs joy, made it and was ready now. The lanterns throughout the tavern were lit..there was a loud roar of excitement from the main part that could be heard in the back room where the men waited for their cue to enter. Shortly ago..before Bombur had appeared...Kili sneaked a peak at the crowd that was gathered out front and when he came back he was cheerfully stunned. He kept mouthing ~its packed...over 100...oh by Mahal its packed~ Now the roar was getting louder...turning into a unified chant * DARROWS, DARROWS, DARROWS*. Their cue..taking a deep breath they stepped to the door that led onto the stage ..waiting for the announcement.

"Now Here Tonight...For Your Viewing Pleasure...the Rough Darrows...Performing .. the Full Monty!" on that note they stepped through the door onto the stage as the crowd roared louder in excitement.

There upon the stage stood the Durin princes, the Ri brothers, and the Ur brothers...wearing pure white shirts that was only laced halfway, showing some chest to tease the eyes...grey/black kilts that came to the knees showing bit of leg and black boots that barely covered their calves..looking like every womans fantasy come true. Before the crowd could fully register that the Durin princes were the ones performing for them...the music began and every womans eyes were fixated on that stage.

{Shake your groove thing, shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah}

{show em how you do it now}

The six men began to shake their bodies to the tune and tempo..warming up the floor for the hottest thing to hit Ered Luin in a while.

{shake your groove thing, shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah}

{show em how you do it now}

{lets show the world we can dance (dance)}

{bad enough to strut our stuff}

{the music gives us a chance (chance)}

{we do more out on the floor}

They strutted upon that stage, moving around each other as they looked at the crowd..then high fiveing as they passed one another ..then swiveling in place.

{groovin loose or heart to heart}

 They swiftly grabbed the edge of their shirts to flutter in time of a heartbeat..then stamping a boot to the ground as they tore their shirt off...flexing their chest muscles..making many a womans heart speed up at the sight of those gloriously bared chests before them.

{we put in motion every single part}

{funky sounds wall to wall}

{were bumpin bodies. havin us a ball, yall}

They thumped their fists to those hard hairy chests...then thrust those same fists into the air...flexing briefly those muscled arms of theirs..then shaking their bodies once more..gyrating hips in perfect time with the music.

{shake your groove thing, shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah}

{show em how you do it now}

{shake your groove thing, shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah}

{show em how you do it now}

Suddenly they reached down to take the bottom edge of the kilt in hand..easing it up slowly...revealing muscled thighs in a peep show, only to at the last moment stopping before anything is really shown..giving the crowd a smirk and wink before dropping the edge.

{do it now, shake it down}

{shake your body all around}

{do it now, upside down}

{come on yall, lets show them how}

The men began to stomp their feet, thrusting their hips and snapping fingers as they pumped their arms up and down all while bobbing their heads in time with the music...really feeling the music inside..spurring them on to greater acts of sensual heights.

{we got the rhythm tonight(tonight)}

{all the rest know , were the best}

{so shadows flashing in the light (yeah)}

{twistin , turnin, we keep burnin}

Smiling seductively at the crowd, they ran their hands down their chests...licking their lips..turning around to place their backs to the crowd...dipping down in a crouch to roll-up , popping their butts outwards and upwards in a rolling motion...then spinning on heels to face foreward once again.

{shake it high, shake it low}

{we take our bodies, where they wanna go}

{feel the beat, never stop}

{oh, hold me tight, spin me like a top}

Once again they start stomping their feet, thrusting hips as they snapped fingers...pumping arms up and down..bobbing heads in time with the beat...really getting into the music.

{shake your groove thing, shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah}

{show em how you do it now}

{shake your groove thing, shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah}

{show em how you do it now}

Suddenly they turned their backs to the crowd...looking over the shoulder, smirking at the flushed faced women shouting out there...as one arm reached behind them to unsnap an inner button and the other arm reached across the front waist to unsnap the other latch holding the kilt closed...their mischievous  smiles igniting the crowd into a frenzy. Bombur gave a wink to his wife who was standing up by the stage...giving her shivers at the sight of her beloved dancing so erotically just for her..ideas forming a repeat performance later on in private.

{Do it now, shake it down}

{ shake your body all around}

{do it now, upside down}

{come on yall, lets show them how}

Slowly...teasing the crowd...they begin to unwrap the kilts, keeping their backs to the women..then shaking their backsides back and forth, keeping the cloth in concealing what laid underneath...giving a playful wink and blowing a kiss to the flustered women. None of them knowing as they were stripping there...Thorin was making his way through the crowd with Dwalin by his side...finding themselves unable to make it for it was to crowded with women clamoring to see more skin.

{theres nothing more (nothing more)}

{that id like to do  (like to do)}

{than take the floor (take the floor)}

{and dance with you}

{{keep dancin, lets keep dancin}

{lets keep dancin}

{shake your groove thing}

{Fili, Kili, Bombur,Bofur, Nori,Ori}

Just when the two men realized they would not make it another inch to stop this, suddenly the names of the dancers were shouted out as the six men spun around , whipping off their kilt...revealing black smalls that had silver thread woven in so as to catch the light from the lanterns as they danced. In that moment Thorin realized it was to late...there was no way he could save the dignity of the Durin line and he bowed his head, pinching the small of his nose in defeat. Dwalin crossed his arms across his chest watching the princes dance and a smile forced its way onto his face. He couldnt help leaning over to nudge Thorins shoulder with his as he rumbled out.

"Hey Thorin. Look there, its your heir. Oh and look over there...its your other heir. Aint you so proud of your line. I feel safer already, knowing they will be my leaders one day." he laughed as Thorin glared at his cousin. Then looking up towards the stage he watched as the group began snapping their fingers...pumping arms up and down, while thrusting hips and stomping feet...then suddenly they smiled and ripped their smalls from their bodies and everyone saw what Mahal had blessed them all with. The moment Ori removed his there was a gasp and then a greater cheer all around...it seemed Mahal blessed the shy bookworm more than the others. Finally Thorin sighed heavily as he watched them...then a small smile found its way to his lips as he turned to remark to Dwalin.

"Well , I can find some comfort that at least im not the one going to have to face the wrath of my sister Dis..unlike those.." his words were stilled as he heard a familiar shriek off to his side.

"Thats my boys! Whoooo!" a look of disbelief crossed his face as he slowly turned...seeing his sister of all people...cheering them on up there on the stage. Thorin gave her a look that said "traitor"..she never saw it.

{shake it}

{shake it}

{shake it}

As the song ended the dancers were breathing hard...basking in the glow of their achievement...smiling hugely. Fili and Kili reached out to grasp their hand together...smiling in triumph..then suddenly they heard it, over the cheering crowd.

"Thats my boys! Whooo-hooo!" Fili could see Kili turning his head to look...Fili shook his head, telling him ~dont do it bro...dont look.~ but it was to late..Kili did look and horror was all over his face. In that moment neither was sure if the gold was truly worth it...the mental scarring of knowing your mother watched you shake your groove thing at her..unknowingly of course..but it didnt change the fact that you did it.

A/N: I had this thought..you know later after Erebor was reclaimed ...this scene may have transpired.

Vision this...Fili or Kili is about to make love to the woman he loves..shes ready for him and this is the conversation she witnesses.

Hes standing at the foot of the bed..."Come on little buddy...you can do it..go north...dont hang your head..come on north."

{little buddy} "No way man...you shook me at your momma..are you nuts!"

{his two close pals} " Hey! Were just as scarred as you..he shook us at her too!"