You had never felt quite as out of place as you did as a human living in Erebor. You'd accompanied the Company on their journey to reclaim their home and, after you saved the line of Durin, you were invited to stay permanently. Being in love with a certain dwarf prince, you hadn't hesitated to accept. 

For the most part you felt welcome. Though some of the dwarrowdams had done their best to make sure you knew you didn't belong. You had talked with Kili about it more than once and he had come to the conclusion the others were jealous of your close friendship with the Durins.  

Today was one of those days where you seemed to do everything wrong and felt extremely out of place. It only got worse when you returned to your room to find a note slipped under your door. 

We thank you for your service to the dwarves of Erebor but your presence is no longer required in our kingdom. Please feel free to leave at any time. Should you require anything for your journey, we would be happy to provide it for you. Anything to make your departure swift and trouble free.

Even the dwarrowdams thinly veiled insults were polite. You wadded up the paper and tossed it over your shoulder before pinching the bridge of your nose. The note was right about one thing. You needed to get out of here for awhile. And you knew just where to go. You had business in Dale to attend to. You grabbed a pack and loaded it with a few necessities before heading out to find Oin. 

Not only did you find Oin, you found Balin and Kili as well. You grinned. "Hello, boys."

"Y/N!" Kili exclaimed and pulled you into a hug. You two had become instant friends the moment you met. 

You laughed. "You just saw me yesterday, Kili."

"Don't care," he said as he eyed the bag on your back. "Where are you going?"

"I've got business in Dale. Want to come?"

"You have no idea. Wait here," he ran off, leaving you shaking your head. 

You turned back to Oin. "Can I have some herbs, please?" you asked. Oin always happily provided you with healing herbs before you went on one of your little trips. You haven't had to use them yet, but you felt better being prepared. 

"How long will you two be gone, lass?" Balin asked.

You shrug. "Not long.  I just have to pick up some items I ordered. We'll take our time but we should be back later."

"And I don't suppose you've mentioned this journey to Thorin?" he asked with a raised brow.

"I hardly think the King Under the Mountain cares about my trip to Dale. He's got other things to worry about."

Oin hummed. "And what about Fili? Did you mention it to him?"

Your face flushed at the mention of Kili's older brother. You cleared your throat. "Fili doesn't seem to care much about what I do anymore." You tried not to let the truth behind your words get you down too much. On the journey it had seemed apparent to the entire Company that Fili would court you once your task was done. Instead, he'd distanced himself from you.

"I'm sure that's not true, Y/N," Balin said with a frown. "Maybe he just needs a nudge."

"It doesn't matter." You weren't going to lie and say it didn't hurt, but you weren't ready to give up yet either. One of the things you needed to pick up in Dale was a gift you'd had commissioned for Fili. Giving him the weapons would be a courting gesture. He could either accept or not but at least there would be no more question about his feelings.

Kili returned. "Let's go, Y/N."

You shook your head at his enthusiasm and waved to your friends as you left.

***

You collected your things from Dale easily then immediately headed back toward Erebor. It was full dark by the time you two returned as you'd seen no need to rush. Kili was regaling you with tales of the mischief he'd gotten into as a lad making you laugh as you strolled into the dining hall. 

You were starving and hoped if everyone was already done eating, the servants could at least rustle you up some food from the kitchen.  The room went silent as the two of you appeared and you slowly stopped laughing. No one was in the hall except for the members of the Company.

 "Where have you two been?!?" Thorin roared and Fili looked between you and Kili, his expression full of hurt. 

Kili glanced at you in confusion and scratched his head. You shrugged. You didn't understand the issue any better than he did. "I had business in Dale. Kili accompanied me."

"And you didn't think to tell anyone where you were going? To ask permission?"

You turned narrowed eyes on Balin and Oin. Neither of them would meet your gaze. You wandered in their direction until you stood behind their chairs.

"Perhaps this is better discussed with fewer people, Uncle?" Kili suggested as he realized what you were up to. 

"You're all dismissed," Thorin said. Fili remained in his seat but everyone else rose to leave.

You put your hands on the shoulders of the two dwarves in front of you and pushed them back down into their seats. "Not you two." You gave them a moment to grumble then said, "Explain."

Neither of them said anything for a moment then Balin glanced up at you. "It was just a nudge?"

You sighed. "Get out of here."

"Would someone kindly explain to me what is going on?"Thorin said after his two friends had fled the room. 

You wondered how to explain this that wouldn't lead to you being completely embarrassed but came up with nothing. "Maybe I should ask why you were so upset. You've never cared when I took off before."

"I found this in your room," Fili said and slid a piece of paper across the table. It was full of wrinkles from where you'd wadded it up earlier. 

You scrunched your nose in irritation before snatching the note off the table and wadding it up to throw over your shoulder once more. 

Thorin frowned. "Do you get those messages often?"

"Often enough. I just ignore them."

"Well, it was suggested that you had perhaps fled with Kili," Thorin said.

"Let me guess who suggested that." You shook your head. "I'll give you a week to find a new advisor before I kill the current one."

Thorin's lips twitched. "No killing Balin."

Your eyes moved from the king to his blonde nephew. The look on Fili's face was breaking your heart. You took the long wrapped package from your back and set it in front of Kili. "Birthday present." You took another package and placed it in front of Thorin. "Late coronation gift."

Kili opened his package to find a new quiver for his arrows. You'd wanted to get him an intricately carved bow but didn't want anyone reading anything into it. Weapons were usually a courtship thing. Thorin opened his package to reveal the deep blue tunic with gold embroidery you'd gotten him. They both thanked you profusely. 

"Could you give me and Fili a moment, you two?" you asked. 

"Of course," Thorin said and grabbed Kili, steering him out the door. 

You took the package you had left and walked around the table until you leaned on the table next to Fili. You laid it in front of him. He glanced up in surprise. "It is nowhere near my birthday."

You smiled. "It is not. You are also not the king."

He looked between you and the package a couple of times before untying it and moving aside the fabric. His eyes widened as he took in the five beautiful throwing knives with their own belt. They were well balanced as well as beautiful. You didn't even want to think about how much they cost. He ran his fingers over them. "These are exquisite, Y/N," he breathed and happiness bubbled within you. 

He wrapped them back up and pushed them back toward you without looking up. "I-I'm sorry but I can not take them." He got up and left, not sparing you a glance. 

You forgot to breathe for a moment as your heart dropped. Hot tears ran down your cheeks. At least now you knew. Kili stuck his head back in the door. "Y/N?"

You didn't bother to wipe the tears away as he walked over to you, Thorin right behind him. 

"Y/N, what happened?" Kili asked. 

You pushed the knives in his direction. "He rejected them."

Kili peeked in the package. "Oh, no."

Thorin glanced over his nephew's shoulder. "Those are very special blades," he said, concern heavy in his voice. 

"They were. They're worthless now." You ran a finger over one of the blades then snatched it back. "Do with them what you will. I am leaving Erebor."

Kili started to protest but Thorin put a hand on his shoulder to silence him. "When?"

"As soon as I gather the rest of things," you said as you straightened. 

Thorin frowned as you swiped away tears only to have them replaced by new ones. "It's the middle of the night."

"It doesn't matter." You ignored Kili's sad expression as you walked from the room. You didn't want to leave your best friend but you couldn't stay here right now.

***

"What have you done?" Kili yelled as he stormed into his brother's room. 

"Not now, Kili," Fili answered, not pulling his gaze from the fire in front of him. 

"Yes, now. What is wrong with you?" Fili turned to watch his brother pace the floor. "All you did the whole journey was moan about how much you loved her. Then she almost dies saving all of us and you all but quit talking to her. Then she gives you weapons and you turn them down."

"I couldn't take them without her knowing what they represented. She doesn't want me that way. She's in love with you." Fili finally said what he'd been thinking for the past several weeks. 

Kili closed his eyes and heaved a sigh before looking at his brother once more. "Y/N is my best friend. That is all. She has been quizzing me about dwarvish courting rituals since we reclaimed Erebor. She knew exactly what those blades meant, Fili."

He shot up from his chair, joy and panic fighting in his chest. "What?"

"And you rejected them. You broke her heart. My best friend is leaving because of you and I'm not sure I can ever forgive you for that." Tears pooled in Kili's eyes.

Fili grasped his brother's arms. "What do you mean leaving?"

"She means to leave as soon as she has all her possessions gathered."

"Oh no. No, no, no," the elder prince muttered as he rushed from his room, hoping he wasn't too late.

***

You sighed as you looked around your room one more time. You were leaving a lot behind but you weren't going to drag a full wardrobe along with you. Your pack was already heavier than you wanted but you'd make do. Tears still ran down your face. You'd given up on trying to get them to stop. 

You opened your door and stepped into the hallway only to have someone collide with you. You turned in surprise only to see Fili. You crossed your arms over your chest and looked at the floor while he struggled to catch his breath. "Don't-Don't go," he managed to get out.

You shook your head. "There's no reason for me to stay here, Fili. I'll come back to visit. It's time for me to go."

He reached a hand up to cradle your cheek and you jerked your head up in surprise to find him smiling at you. "Stay. With me."

"But you--"

He cut you off. "I thought you didn't know what giving me weapons would mean. I couldn't accept them because I wanted them to mean as much to you as they did to me."

"Fili, I swear. If you had just looked at them or asked me if I--"

He cut you off again, only this time he did it by pressing his lips to yours. "I love you, Y/N."

Suddenly all the words you wanted to say to him fled your brain. So you said the only thing you could think of. "I love you too, Fili."