HK Book Review Shop
Stolen Memories by Gryffindoritnb

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Reviewed on 23.11.23
Reviewed by Itim_na_pluma

Opening Scene:
🔸Does the story begin with an interesting hook, creating a desire to read more?
Yes, the story begin where Cara exposing this man he had hook up one time. The scene showed a valid reason and a little bit of idea that this can be involved to her hit and run accident. The first chapter started perfectly and it ends good as well.

🔹Does the manuscript begin in the right place?
Absolutely! Cara drinking and partying in the scene are very accurate for the next scenes which is the hit and run. Also, the way how the author make the first paragraph calm makes the last scene spice up even more, which could be very shocking for the readers.

Characterization & Motivation:
🔸Are the characters compelling, sympathetic, or someone you can root for?
I've read the first four chapters but Cara still unclear to me. Besides her name and friends there's nothing more about her personal character. I think Cara isn't properly introduced. Though Luke character are enlightened a little through frashback. Cara is present on the flashback as well but because Luke is having the point of view, Cara's character were still obscure.

🔹Do the characters feel real and three-dimensional, with distinct voices, flaws, and virtues?
Yes, the writer used words and phrases that illustrated the characters. The dialogue gives distinct voices. Though the flow of the dialogue seems odd especially on the third to fourth chapters.

🔸Are their goals clear and proactive enough to influence the plot (not passive)?
The goals aren't that clear and proactive enough to influence the plot.

🔹Do their motivations seem believable, with well-drawn and appropriate emotion?
Cara is still unclear but Luke gives a hint of his love to Cara. Though there is some flashback, his feeling hasn't narrow enough.

🔸Are the secondary characters well-rounded and enhance the story rather than overwhelming the story or seeming like they should be cut?
Luke's character are well-rounded making the story enhanced.

🔹Are the relationships between the characters believable and not contrived?
Even though the flashback aren't that long, the scene suggest the readers to believe that there are more scenarios that focus on Luke's feelings towards Cara.

Plot & Conflict:
🔸Are the internal and external conflicts well defined for each main character?
Not that enough.

🔹Are the internal and external conflicts organic and believable, i.e. arising out of characterization and circumstance rather than feeling contrived or forced?
The conflicts are believable but yet enigmatic.

🔸Are there enough stakes and/or tension throughout to make it a "page turner"?
Besides Luke stand as her doctor nothing else give tension to the story.

🔹Does the premise avoid cliché and/or bring a fresh perspective to an old idea?
The premise used cliche are acceptable and the perspective carry outlandish idea.

🔸Are the plot twists believable yet unexpected?
The present plot twist were believable but since the description already mentioned the possible event, the scenes becomes expected yet satisfying.

🔹Do the characters act or react to events in a plausible, realistic, or believable way?
The scenes where Cara opened her eyes after the surgery are very odd, most especially when she started talking. She didn't act accurately to the event. Not to mention that she woke up the next day after the surgery.

Pacing:
🔸Do scenes progress in a realistic, compelling manner and flow with effective transitions?
Most of the scene progress in a realistic except the scene on the thrid chapter when Cara woke up. Due to that flow, the scene turns to be ineffective.

🔹Does every scene add to and seem important to the story?
The first and second chapter consist of important scenes but the three and four are confusing.

🔸Does the story move along at an appropriate pace, without rushing or dragging?
The story move along appropriately though some scene are highly needed to improve in order to make the scenes more intriguing.

🔹Is there a hook at the end of each chapter or scene that makes you want to read more?
The first chapter ends good but the rest are not.

🔸Is the story free from information dumps or backstory that slow the pace of the story?
Yes, the story is free from information dumps.

Setting & Worldbuilding:
🔸Are descriptions vivid and give a clear sense of time and place?
Not quite.

🔹Do the details enhance rather than distract from the story?
The story doesn't have that much details to the characters and the environment.

Dialogue:
🔸Is the dialogue natural and appropriate for the story, not stilted or overly narrative?
The first and second chapter's dialogue were good but the third and fourth are overly narrative and not stilted.

🔹Does dialogue move the story forward and reveal the characters?
Since it's only a four chapters, the dialogues haven't revealing any or the characters yet.

🔸Are characters' voices consistent and distinct from one another?
Cara's character isn't that consistent but Luke is.

🔹Is there an appropriate mix of dialogue and narrative?
Except the scenes of Cara's waking up from surgery, the rest narrative were good.

Craft:
🔸Does the writing "show" the scene with the senses, using "telling" only as appropriate?
There's nothing much about the scenes yet.

🔹Does the writing quality allow the story to shine through and draw the reader in, or are flaws jarring or intrusive?
Some of the lines are awkwardly narrate. There's also some errors with grammars and punctuation marks. This may be a hindrance to make a reader reach the emotions of the story.

🔸Is the tone is appropriate and consistent for the story?
The tone appropriate and consistent for the story.

🔹Is the point of view (and any changes) handled appropriately and consistently?
Luke point of view handled perfectly but Cara's is not, especially when she wakes up from the surgery.

Overall Impression:
🔸Is the voice unique, fresh, or interesting?
Some are unique and interesting but some are cliched.

🔹Does the story deliver on the promise of its premise and opening scenes?
The story delivered good at the opening scenes.

🔸From a reader's point of view, did you enjoy reading this story?
I enjoy chapter one and two but three and four are confusing.

Additional Questions for Comment:
🔸Are there any confusing sections that should be made clearer?
Chapter threee and four. I suggest, make Cara react appropriately on chapter three. Regarding Luke flashbacks I suggest to add more paragraphs or scenes where he showed how she sarted liking Cara.

🔹Do any sections take you out of the story?
Chapter three is very questionable. Making me ask why she acted that way? I thought she didn't know anything at all? Make the scene appropriate for an unwell Cara to make it more believable.

🔸Is the story a good fit for the stated genre, and if not, why not?
The story is fit for the stated genre.

🔹Who are your favorite—and least favorite—characters and why?
Since I was still clueless and confused about Cara, Luke got my attention.

🔸What aspects are especially likable or unlikable about the protagonist(s)?
Cara's behavior are unlikeable after the accident but at the beginning she was introduced quite good.

🔹What three things worked best for you?
Everything about the first chapter is good and works for me, the language and dialogue are inlined with the scene.
Luke stunned moment when he sees Cara on the emergency room are understandable.

🔸What three things worked least for you?
Luke sudden jolly vibe to the doctor who ask him for his attention with the patient ruined the scene. Especially when he and his friend saluted.
Luke and Cara's dialogue seems overly narrated.
Cara's point of view are dull.

Chapter by Chapter Questions:
🔸What works well in this chapter? What did you enjoy most about this chapter, or what gave you the strongest personal reaction?
Chpater 1— The scene where Cara told her friend about this guy she hooked up was good. It give me enough conclusion after the hit and run scene.
Chapter 2— Lukes reaction when he sees Cara's condition is good and made me think, he really like Cara.
Chapter 4— the scene showed is good for a flashback.)

🔹What didn't work in this chapter? What was confusing, misplaced, or otherwise felt "off" to you?
Chapter 2— Lukes sudden changing of mood is confusing.
Chaoter 3— Cara acted like she hasn't lost her memory which I know the writer didn't intended.
Chapter 4— I expect more clarification about Luke's feelings towards Cara.

🔸Did you wish to learn more about any particular topic?
I'm eager to fed my confusion about Cara's identity as well as Luke's feelings towards her.

🔹Have any predictions? Based on what you just read, what do you think will happen next?
I think the next chapter will about Luke's keeping his feelings towards the girl and Cara unknowingly find a comfort within him.

🔸Were the characters realistic? Were the characters (including the narrator) believable, relatable, and consistent unto themselves? If not, what do you think was missing to make them so?
The Characters seems realistic and believable. Some narration and scenes are only needed to enhance.

Overall Review:
The idea of the story are good and interesting. The flow of scenes are good as well only the narration gives the conflict. But the idea of a doctor caring a patient with amnesia is good and unique. This story is good but needs an improvement.

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