Logging into my Wattpad account, I bend a paperclip back and forth, slipping my thumb between the folds. The smooth metal glides across my nail as I wait for the screen to populate.

With a smile, I click on my notification feed. I wonder who wrote today. Username @1234FanofYours wrote, "LOL, seriously!" I click back and see that she's enjoyed my take on technology and our lives.

"I know, right?", I type, and laugh as I hit the reply button.

I click over to my "Works" page and nearly jump from my swiveling office chair. My first novel has hit the #1 spot in the last category of my tags! Squealing like a hyena, I jump up from my chair and do a little dance. A shake of the hips, a little running man behavior and some "Oh yeah, oh yeah, you did it, I did it!", and I'm in the groove of a happy dance only someone like me can appreciate.

When the oldies radio station starts to play "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" by the Beatles, I turn it up full blast. I'm at work, but none of our customers are here, the boss is running late and I have the floor to myself.

In no time at all, I'm bouncing around whipping out lyrics like a UK-born musician. Grabbing the stapler nearby, I start shouting the words for all the walls and lampshades to hear. 

In my enthusiasm, my arms are pumping, my elbows are jamming and my head is thumpin'. Still feeling overjoyed as the first song ends and Queens' "We Will Rock You" song comes on, I start stomping my feet and clapping my hands. I'm a wanna-be Freddie Mercury! Quickly grabbing the nearby broom, I start strumming it like an electronic guitar. Just as I get lost in the moment of it all, I hear the bell above our front door jingle. Making a mad dash to my cell phone, I turn off the volume and try to sit down, missing my seat entirely. Attempting to stop my descent I grab a stack of random papers nearby and end up pulling them, and the remnants of my last sip of coffee, on top of myself.

Cursing in vain, I try to get up but bang my head on the underside of my desk. Four letter expletives escape my mouth before I can tug them back in. To my grateful relief, when I go out front I realize it was only the postman dropping off our mail. He'd opened the door and thrown our mail inside the store before promptly leaving. Oh, thank goodness. I'd hate to have blistered a customer's ears with my swearing fit. My boss wouldn't of appreciated it much either.

Back to my desk, I flop into my chair with a light-hearted sigh.

Better get to work. Bossman will be here any second.

Looking up at my computer screen, I grin once more at the #1 designation, do a little seat rhumba in my spot for a last hurrah, and then click my mouse to close the web browser.

Thirty minutes later, and deep into an excel accounting report, I hear our door bell chime again. Glancing left, I see my boss entering with an ill-hidden cheshire cat grin. Odd...he looks like he's up to something. He's such a serious bloke and it is a Monday morning after all. I wonder what's gotten into him. A little taken back, I look around to see if something is amiss. Finding nothing, and once he's past my desk, I dig into the file drawer next to me and pull out my compact mirror.

Nope. I don't have anything stuck in my hair or teeth.

Throughout the day I hear random giggling coming from the direction of my boss' office. In the 22 years of employment in this dismal place Ralph's barely ever cracked a smile let alone laughed out loud. I can't figure out what's gotten into him today.

Needless to say my frustration grows as the day goes on, especially since my boss, who's usually on top of me all day long, has yet to leave his office except to use the facilities. And when he does, he stops and stares at me and then walks away biting his lip. After all day of this peculiar behavior, I can't take it anymore.

What gives?

I have to know. Just as I'm about to ask, however, my boss surprises me by packing up and leaving 15 minutes early. It doesn't sound like much, but for a guy who watches the clock like a hawk and who is more prone to work the night away, him checking out early is suspect.

I roll my eyes and scratch my head. Maybe he has a girlfriend. Oh, wouldn't that be perfect?! A woman! Oh, it's just what he needs! He's so stuffy and uptight. For Pete's sake, why didn't I think of this sooner?

He has a spring in his step. He's laughing! Of course it's a woman!

Well, good for him, I think to myself. Smiling as I clean up my desk, I organize some papers before packing up, too.

Three minutes shy of my own quitting time, the phone rings.

"Good Afternoon, this is-"

Cutting me off from my usual professional greeting, it's my boss. And he's laughing. Again.

He must have met one hel-

"Listen, I just wanted to call and make sure to remind you to set the alarm," Ralph says, interrupting my train of thought about his possible hook-up.

What the heck? I've been here more than 2 decades and he's calling to remind me to set the alarm? Since when does he need to do that? It's not like I'm prone to forget. I do it each night, almost always without fail. Ok, maybe once when we first had it installed I forgot but that was forever ago. And with the new alarm we had installed last week it's even easier to arm. All you have to do is turn on the video monitors and then...

OMG! The video monitors! They provide a live feed directly to our cell phones so we can access them remotely at any time.

Shaking, I tighten my grip on the phone receiver, and gulp, "Will do, boss. Thanks."

"Oh, and Sherry?"

"Yes," I reply tentatively.

"Congratulations on your #1!"

The phone clicks off and my boss' laughter disappears with the empty dial tone.

Closing my eyes and dropping my head into my hands with cheeks burning, I groan. When I sit up, I shake my head at myself and shrug.

Only me.

Good grief.

THE END.