Maddox POV

My heart hasn't stopped racing. I can't stop thinking about that almost-kiss with Lora and it's killing me. The fact that I can't stop thinking about it means something that shouldn't be real.

It didn't happen, Maddox.

I grab my phone and call Troye, my best friend. "Yo," he says when he picks up, munching on something loudly, video game sound effects playing in the background.

"Bro, I need to talk to you," I say.

He puts the controller down and the shooting noises turn off. "What up?"

I sigh. "I don't really know."

"Stop being a dick and just tell me." I can almost hear him rolling his eyes on the other end of the phone.

"There's this girl..." I start off before wincing. She's not just "some girl".

He groans loudly. "Not this again. Bro, I told you, just tell them beforehand that it ain't gonna happen. It's just sex and then moving on. Right?"

I shake my head and close my eyes. "It's not like that."

"What? Was she that good?" he asks and I want to punch him in the face.

"It wasn't like that at all," I say, gritting my teeth.

He sighs. "Is this Maria we're talking about? Or Rachel? Or Layla? Or Tori? Or Grace—"

"Enough. She's not... we didn't..." I don't even know what I'm trying to say. Troye, though, understands something because he starts talking loudly into the phone.

"What the hell are you talking about, Maddox? What do you mean 'we didn't'? You didn't do anything with this girl?"

I shake my head. "No."

"Then what's the problem? You guys are basically strangers! Why are you so hung up on a girl you didn't even do anything with?"

"She's different. I can't seem to stop thinking about her."

He whistles. "I never thought I'd see the day. You're whipped, bro. Now, tell me who you're talking about."

I take a deep breath before whispering quietly, "Lora."

He scoffs. "Just Laura Glade? Jeez, bro, I get that she's hot but she's not that amazing for you to be like this."

I groan. "No! Not Glade! Who do you think I am? Have I ever been into blondes?"

He laughs into the phone. "Then who?"

"Lora Innis," I say quietly.

There's a silence on the other end before I hear Troye finally say, "Who?"

I grit my teeth. She's not invisible. The three of us have had classes together for years. And he claims to not know who she is. As if anybody couldn't know who she is.

"How do you not know who Lora is?" I ask. "God. We've had classes with her for years, Troye."

He pauses and then it must click because he goes, "Ohhhhh. That Lora. The quiet one? Good girl, sorta nerdy, I guess, cute?"

I clench my jaw. "She's not cute. Or nerdy. And yes, that one."

Troye lowers his voice and says in a stage whisper, "I think she's a virgin."

I roll my eyes, though my fist is clenched. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Ummm, because you said you weren't going to get involved with the pure souls or whatever shit you said? Because you're you and she's her and she's too good for you? Did you forget everything you live by?"

I close my eyes. I did say that. I didn't want to hurt anybody by taking their virginity and then leaving the next day like I always do.

"I don't want to get her in bed, Troye," I say.

Troye guffaws. "That's a first! Don't even lie to yourself, bro! You know you want her and it's not for her brains, either!"

I hang up.

He attempts to call me back and after the seventh try, I finally pick up after taking a few deep breaths to calm down.

"Bro," he says immediately. "I'm sorry. I didn't know she meant that much."

"Well, she does," I say. "What do I do?"

"Why are you asking me? I just got dumped by Harley, remember?" That's right, he did. She cheated on him and then dumped him, when it should have at least been his right to break up with her. That's the only time I've seen Troye really angry, angry enough to cry in my arms while complaining between sobs that he was being a "pussy" or something.

"Look, I don't want to hurt her," I say. "I just want to be friends."

He scoffs. "Not even friends with benefits. You've changed, bro."

Lora is different. I'm determined to get her to remember. Remember who I used to be in her life before she...

The doorbell rings.

I don't know who it could be but I hang up with Troye and go to the door, answering it without bothering to put a shirt on. When I see who it is, my mouth drops open.

Her mouth is open too as she stares at my torso. I look down and smirk. "See something you like, babe?" I ask. The words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them. I curse myself. I don't even know why I said that. Those are the things I would generally say to one of my hookups, not to girls like Lora.

She's too good for me, like Troye said.

She stares at me with a look of anger on her pretty face as she pushes her way past me into my house.

"Woah, are you okay?" I ask.

She turns to me, her eyes blinking rapidly and her face red as if she's holding back tears. I can't think of what I did.

"Did you take advantage of me?" The words seem to be fired at me like angry cannons.

I stare at her in surprise. "What?" I ask, the blood draining from my face.

"Did. You. Take. Advantage. Of. Me?" she asks slowly, as if I'm some dumbass who didn't understand what she said the first time. She shakes her head slowly at me when I stare at her in shock. "I knew it. I can't believe I didn't ask you the first time. Or, maybe, I didn't want to know it," she says, turning away from me. I catch a single tear falling down her face and my heart aches.

"How can you think I would do something like that?" I ask finally, my voice harsh, harsher than I want it to be when she's so vulnerable. I want to hug her, take her into my arms, but she's angrier than I've ever seen her.

"Because! You're a player, Maddox! You bring a different girl home every night! You think I don't hear the stories about you? How you eff with girls' minds and make them think you like them before dumping them like they're just objects that you can play with? God, I can't believe I was so stupid. I can't believe I let myself get so drunk that I lost my virginity to the school's player and I don't even remember it." She starts to cry for real then and I almost lose it right there.

"Lora! Lora, look at me," I say, attempting to get the harsh tone out of my voice. "I would never do something like that to you! Or any other girl! God, I can't believe—" On a wild impulse, I suddenly step forward and take her into my arms. "God, Lora. Please. Stop crying. I didn't do anything to you and I never would if you didn't want to. I don't lie to those girls. I tell them as it is but all of them get too attached and think I want a relationship." She's crying against my chest as I struggle to defend myself. Though really, as I look myself, I'm sick. I must be, to make her think that I... that I... I can't even think about it.

"I always wait for consent. I never take advantage of girls who are under the influence of anything. I always use protection. And Lora, I would never do that to you. Never."

She pulls away from me. "So what are you saying? I'm not pretty like those other girls? I'm not desired by you? Well, guess what, I don't want you either, Kane. Because news flash, you're not all that and I actually like who I am without you in my life. And what you do? It's disgusting. You're out of your mind, thinking that you're a good person. Nobody good could do that to another person. A girl who just wants to be loved." She turns away from me. "I'm sorry, Kane. I thought you were different but then I thought that maybe since I was drunk I was going to be an easy lay for you. Because I slept in your bed that night, I must've deprived you from your pleasure." Her nose wrinkles in disgust. "God, I hope you washed the sheets before you put me in there."

I nod. "Of course I did," I say, not even bothering to defend my actions. I know they were wrong and I'm beyond ashamed of it.

"I'm sorry, Kane," she says, before opening my front door and walking out. I watch as she drives away and I hit my fist against the wall.

How could she think that about me?

What have I done with my life?

Who am I?

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