LORA POV

I force myself to go back into my car, trying to stop the impending tears from falling before I get there. I take a deep breath and get into the driver's seat, my keys in my right hand, my left hand reaching up to wipe the tears from my face that managed to escape. 

Maddox Kane should not be able to hurt me this much, especially since we aren't friends, we're not together, we're not anything. He's just somebody that I know and who I happened to share a bed with for a night without anything happening. I hate that he holds this unseen power over me; it makes me feel weak and sick inside. 

I put the keys into the ignition and turn it slowly, listening as the engine purrs to life. I blink a couple of times to get the excess tears out of my eyes and slowly pull out of the driveway. Just as I'm about to turn to the road and get out of this godforsaken neighborhood, I hear shouts as the door opens and Maddox comes racing out. I can't believe this. I watch as he struggles to get to the car before I drive away.

My heart almost goes out to him. He's not as bad as he seems. But yet...

I shake my head at him and look studiously forward, though it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do with my life. I take a deep breath and watch as he hits the glass of my door, not hard enough to break it but enough to let me know he wants my attention.

I slowly press my foot on the gas pedal, just enough to get the car moving without hurting him in the process. He loses his footing though, and stumbles a bit before his eyes widen as he realizes what I'm about to do. He lets go quickly and watches as I drive away.

I mentally give myself a high-five. I physically start crying. 

WHY AM I EVEN CRYING?

I don't even know him. 

I hear my phone ring a couple of times but I force myself not to check it because A) it's definitely Maddox and I can't think about him right now and B) I'm driving. That's reason enough.

By the time I'm home, I'm calm again. Calm enough to think rationally and read Maddox's messages without becoming an unnecessarily sobbing mess for some unknown strange reason. 

I'm pathetic, I know. 

Lora, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. 
I'm disgusting, I know. 
I hate myself every time you remind me
of how awful I actually am.

Then:

I really am sorry and I wanted you to know that.

My heart twists just a little. I laugh to myself. This boy is already hurting my heart. Definitely a bad sign.

I decide to respond just enough that he knows I got the message but not enough for him to respond and try to pursue the conversation.

It's okay. Thanks. 

It's short but it's to the point and that's all I wanted out of that. 

The doorbell rings suddenly as I'm starting to make myself some food. I jump and almost drop the pan I'm holding with my vegetables. I put it back on the stove, lower the heat just in case, and open the front door. Lacey is standing there smiling widely, holding a grocery bag.

"Hey! I brought ice cream." She sounds sad. 

I stare at her. "Are you okay? You only bring ice cream when something bad happened."

She rolls her eyes and pushes me towards the kitchen, putting the ice cream in the freezer, opening the pan, peering inside, grinning widely, and closing the lid again while also turning off the heat. She takes the pan off of the stove and places it on the counter, grabbing some plates. She heaps the stir fry onto the plates, grabs the chicken that I was making and adds that to the plate, and takes out the utensils.

I smile as I watch my best friend act like a true mom as she basically prepares the meal I was cooking for myself for the both of us. Finally, she sits down and motions for me to sit next to her at our spinny counter seats.

"Spill," she says. I stare at her, confused. 

"What?" I ask. She just gives me a 'duh' look but I still don't get it. "I'm so confused," I finally say, worried that I've missed something.

"YOU AND MADDOX KANE?" she shrieks suddenly. I wince and cover my ears before sighing. 

"What about it?" I ask.

She just stares at me before chewing, swallowing, putting her fork down on the counter with a clatter (to which I wrinkle my nose at because let's be real, I don't remember the last time I cleaned the counter), and shakes my shoulders.

"Um, so apparently, what's been going around school is this: you guys met up at a party, you got drunk and he left, you attempted to follow him and ended up getting in his car because your thumb was out? Hitchhiking with the player, I like it." I roll my eyes.

"It wasn't like that at all."

She holds her hand up. "Yeah, yeah, I know the whole story, you told me already, jeez. But then I heard that you guys slept together, like slept-slept together, and then you left him but then you were seeing going back to his house so like now everyone thinks you have like a thing if you know what I mean and then you left crying and him yelling at you and pounding on your car to the point of breaking your window, which I know isn't true because I just saw your car outside. But then apparently you guys like broke up whatever it was you had because he told you of his real player ways and you couldn't handle it."

I can't believe it. There are so many thoughts and questions running through my mind and I'm so confused. "Wait, how did this get out so quickly? And no, basically none of that was true. And who told you this?"

"Oh, Lexi told Marcie who told Ally who told me!" she smiles. "But I told them that it probably wasn't true because there's no way you went back to Maddox Kane's house." I don't say anything. "Wait. WHAT?"

I shrug. "I had to clear some things up." I narrow my eyes at her surprised and bemused expression. "NOT LIKE THAT. We didn't do anything, OBVIOUSLY. I just had to know exactly what happened. That night. Nothing else."

"Then why did he hit your car?"

"He explained to me a lot of things that really hurt. I don't know why I let it get to me. God, I'm so stupid," I groan. "I'm so pathetic."

"Honey, you're not pathetic. You've never even had a boyfriend, let alone someone like Maddox. How are you supposed to know what to do in certain situations with someone like him? Heck, I wouldn't even know what to do," Lacey says, trying to comfort me.

I shake my head. "This is worse than normal. I never embarrass myself that much. Also, I never let a boy get to me this badly."

Lacey shakes her head at me while shoveling food into her mouth. All of a sudden, I see her head pop up and her widen. "I KNOW exactly what we need to do!" She turns to me, smiling nefariously. "We need to get you a boyfriend."

I stare at her and it's so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.

She just nods enthusiastically before I can think of something to say. "Oh my GOD, this is such a good idea. You need experience, you need to get yourself out there and meet people and learn what it's like to be with a guy. That way you don't get yourself into awkward situations next time, like the one with Maddox."

For some reason, I'm not saying no and I don't know why I'm not saying no. 

"Where are we gonna find a guy?" I ask after a moment.

Lacey looks up from where she was scrolling through her phone and her eyes light up before she jumps up and starts shrieking ecstatically. "OH MY GOD YOU'RE SAYING YES."

She smiles again. "It's fine, I got you covered." She whips out her phone and starts mumbling to herself. "Guys who are available, hmmm... Ooo, what about Henry Payne? He's cute, nice." I think about him and find myself shaking my head for some unknown reason. I don't even know why I'm saying yes to this in the first place. Maybe it's because I've been thinking some of these things for the past year or maybe it's because I still haven't gotten over how much a guy I've known for all of three days managed to make me cry already.

Then Lacey stares up at me and slowly turns her phone around. "It's time to face your fears, Lora." My heart beats wildly as I stare into the beautiful green eyes of Parker James.

I know that was really bad but I wanted to get something out there since it feels like a while since I've updated. Hope you enjoyed and expect a lukeanne update pretty soon!

comment which one of my guys you like the best (if you're a true fan): jake lloyd, luka laurence, sam west, grayson carter, parker james, maddox kane

my names are so generic lol

malaynaturally xx