CHAPTER 25 - I DONT WANT TO SAY GOODBYE 2.0
Helloooo guyssss
I am back with a back to back update again
Superlong again like – 10 k.
I shall let you all dive in without further delay.
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CHAPTER 25 – I DON'T WANT TO SAY GOODBYE 2.0
Next Day -10:30 AM
(Saturday)
Arnav's POV
I step out of the En-Suite Bath of our Caravan after finishing up with my bath and getting ready into my denims and a warm black round neck sweatshirt and I now put the kettle on boil and I check the time on my phone.
It was 1030 am.
I walk up to the bed, where my Sunshine is still deep in her slumber,and I don't have the heart to wake her up yet, (because she never gets much time to relax anyway, and I totally want her to just ease and relax , because I know from Monday on – she will go back to functioning like a crazy machine anyway – with college starting too for her), and so I am just going to let her sleep a little bit more ,even though the minute she will wake up and see the time – she will immediately go on her dramatic mode which I so deeply adore and go around exclaiming how she's never slept in so late.
I smile on reflex, as my heart warms up at just the sight of her sleeping so adorably.
My Purest Bliss was enjoying a Blissful Slumber.
And I was going to let her, for some more time.
I quickly walk back to the mini kitchenette and make myself some coffee, and I know it isn't going to be the flavour I love, but it will do for the first cup, and once I finish making it, I quickly pick out a couple of biscuits and I walk up to the C shaped sofa in the caravan and adjust myself against the corner and I look out the window in front of me and enjoy the view, sipping my coffee.
And I cannot even begin to explain what I am feeling right now.
Because I think I will never have the words.
I have never felt all these Deep Emotions ever in all of my Life.
And point to be noted – when I arrived here on Monday – I already thought and felt in my head that my emotions for her were like Deep, and I thought theres no way I can fall in deeper for her, because I was already at the maximum.
But Boy!
I was Wrong!!
Completely Wrong!!
For everything that I Have felt in the last so many days of being with Khushi – in and out – I kind of feel – that the emotions have creeped in a lot more deeper into my Heart.
They are like Super- Deep.
Like Really Super- Deepppppppppppp!
And I am kind off fascinated you know by everything I am feeling because first out never in my Life had I imagined that Love will grip my heart in such a way that it will absorb me like this.
So Just a Point in Here.
Like you know how Khushi calls me Her Atlantic Ocean and stuff but I think my emotions for her run like as Deep as the depth of the Pacific Ocean which they do say is the deepest of all oceans because of the Mariana Trench – which is the deepest known point in Earth's oceans.
I know..I know!!!
That's Me right now – who just made that crazy deep analogy and Not Khushi.
Well what can I say???
I AM A GONER TO ANOTHER LEVEL NOW!
She rubs on me in everyway – everything about her is way too lovingly infectious.
And lets not even get to the other things that she makes me feel apart from all this heavy-duty-pacific-ocean-depth-deep emotions and love – you know the other sinful things I want to do to her because that's how crazily I want her – like how I have never wanted anyone in my life.
She's a Fascinating Allurement.
I mean I cant even begin to describe the affect her words in that drunken jabber of hers last night – had on me.
However Like I said -Lets not even get there.
Its better that those crazy passionate and sensual thoughts stay confined in the boundaries of my Head for now.
But anyway the Point of the whole Matter in my head is that.
I am head over heels in Love with this girl, and I am sure that its only going to grow leaps and bounds from here each day.
Ok – So now I just don't want to Invent the Teleportal myself, I want to Invent the Time Machine too so that maybe I could just press the Forward button here straight upto the points of next 11 months where Khushi is done with her education and I can start asking her to think of coming with me to India – because I know only after shes done with both her degrees – she will be in a receptive mode to kind of comprehend the possibility of me wanting to whisk her away with me forever.
What are these technological scientists upto??? They are surely just wiling away time and not doing anything about inventing these machines which are truly the need of the hour!!
I am going to miss her so much.
So Much – is an Understatement actually.
And im still on that trail of thought when I see Khushi wake up and sit in bed and shes rubbing her eyes and she yawns and now stretches her arms and she catches me grinning at her and she gestures me to come hug her, and I keep the coffee mug aside and I walk up to her in an instant and plonk myself next to her as I pull her into a crushing hug.
And she snuggles into me as she whispers – " goodmorning hoodie guy..."
I kiss her forhead and she asks – " time..arnav??"
I grin to myself.
There you go – three seconds to Khushi's full on Dramatic Mode.
I say – " I think its 1045 am Khushi..."
And Bang!
Just as I had expected Khushi now shoots up immedieately to her knees as she now places both her hands on her waist and faces me and she points her finger at me immediately as she says with the most adorable dramatic flushed expression up her face – " youuuu Wizard you...why didn't you wake me up..its 1045 am????????????Never in all of my Life have I slept in so late Arnav...you know I have been intoxicated before as in like drunk but even then my eyes open ya..but last night was double intoxication all thanks to you...",and she paused as she looked at me narrowing her eyes – " tell me something, did I say something stupid in my drunken blabber?? I mean..i do talk so much all the time that half is stupid..but you know what I mean right?? Did I say something anything that I shouldn't have..Arnav..????"
Ahaaaaaaaaaaaa.
I want to have fun now.
I tug on her hand and pull her close into me as I ask cupping her face – " ok, so you don't remember.."
She looks at me confused – " what don't..i..remember.."
I grin as I rub my thumb over her cheek – " whats the last thing you remember..Sunshine??"
She takes a deep breathe as she closes her eyes and puts a finger to her temple and enacts as if shes pressing some rewind button in her head – the expression of which is highly amusing and adorable ,and she looks up next instant and clicks her fingers as she says adorably – " so I remember clearly that the last thought that went through my head was that Mr.Vice Captain of the Indian Cricket Team could work the knife like that, and I know I spoke something after that to you and then I kind of did some more wine and spoke something more, but what I said is still like a daze in my head..you carried me in the picture of it in my head I can recall, you tucked me in, you evern took of my sneakers..i remember the picture part of it..but what is that I said is still a daze..tell me no Arnav..please..."
I grin as I ask with a wink – " are you sure you want me to remind you or you'd rather just let it be??"
She kisses my cheek – " pretty please..tell me tell me..you know I like to be aware of every word that leaves my mouth..."
I grin as I pull her closer and adjust her in my lap and I tell her what she exactly spoke in that drunken blabber by whispering it her ears.
And I can see that her eyes have widened to cup and saucers and she now has one of her hands on her mouth in super dramatic way and she looks at me embarrassed blushing furiously as she asks softly – " I said that.."
I grin as I nod and she says , now burying her head in her hands – " god I am so embarrassed.."
I kiss her forhead lovingly as I say with a wink and a grin up my face as I take her hands away from her face and make her look at me – " so now sunshine, I am like super confused, you know whether I want to get you drunk next you are with me, because I did get a tiny miny reflextion that the alcohol can get you to express your thoughts a little boldly, but then when you drink too much, you sleep anyway...so...I am kind of in a very amusing fix anyway.."
And before I know it shes jumped out of my lap and ran to the ensuite bathroom and locked her self in – in embarrasement and I chuckle as I go up to her and I knock on the door – " Sunshine..cmon I was just teasing you, come out..."
I hear her embarrassed voice come out – " no way...you go sit outside on the picnic bench now, give me like ten minutes to stop blushing to a shade of red darker than a tomato puree.."
I chuckle as I say – " ok. Ok..im continuing to sip my coffee out on the picnic bench sunshine..come soon..."
Her embarrassed voice – " yes yes hoodie guy..now go..i will just freshen up and see you there.."
I chuckle and I walk out the carvan picking up my half mug of coffee and biscuits.
..................
Twenty Minutes Later
I am just about to get up from the bench and go back in the Caravan to check on Khushi, when I see her step out with two cups of coffee and she still gives me a very embarrassed smile and she places the coffee mugs on the bench table as she says – " goodmorning to you again.."
I pull her by the hand into a instant hug and I admit honestly – " just when I think you cant get any more adorable..god khushi..."
She pulls herself a little up as she says – " oh no..i just made a new resolution right now..Arnav..",and with that she walks back into the Caravan and I step in behind her and I see her now working to get our omellets ready on the mini heating plate and I ask leaning against the counter, staring at her shamelessly.
She was still Blushing.
Shes now poured a portion of half the whipped up egg mixture into the pan and she looks at me sideways as she now puts the wooden ladle on my chest – " you na..you are a devil in disguise, look at all your charm driving me crazy and all that intoxication I was under from both you and the alcohol, although now that I think of it, I am sure that the alcohol has lesser hand into it..its you..it you...do you know what I have planned, im going to keep my mouth shut around you when im drunk..or wait..i mean now that we will be in different locations anyway, im going to keep my phone away when im drunk, because I will end up drunk dialing you and then I will make a fool out of myself hoodie guy...no risk ya, you already must think im such a crazy fool anyway.."
I burst into laughter immediately, shes comic, this girl..her expressions, her dramatic gestures, and I control a couple of seconds later and on reflex I say – " you do know you can have an excellent career in theatre..Khushi.."
Shes now flipping the omellete as she says with a grin – " I know I know..i used to do a lot of plays in school..i used to love it..i had the lead role most of the times..but then I realised by when I was 18, that I was more in love with my accounting entries..so..yeah.."
I grin as I fold my arms – " I want to watch a video someday..you must be having it right??"
She chuckles now as she says – " sure..i have some..",and she now places the omellete on one plate and gives it to me, and I instantly take a bite off it with a fork and feed it to her, and she grins as she eats it and she then says – " I will just make one more and then we can sit out.."
I nod and she feeds me a bite now and she starts working on the other omellete and I tell her – " you know what?? My mom was into theatre too, she left her career after I was born..she shouldn't have though, I keep telling her that.."
She flips the other omellet and I make her eat another bite off mine and she smiles – " I know...I read all about it I mean..when the entire Aisha Khanna controversy was going on there was full fedged article about your moms being friends and stuff from their theatre days.."
I immediately want to tell her that mom, Anjali, dad, dadi , all of them know about the fact how deeply I love her, but then I think, what if I overwhelm her too much in the moment, so I refrain, maybe in some more time down the months I will tell her and she says now putting the omellete into other plate as well – " they mentioned everything about how she gave up after your birth too.."
I smile as I say – " well atleast some of what they wrote is true.."
She chuckles now and I hold her hand and we walk with our plates to the picnic table and we start eating now and I say to her – " oh and on that note , please note, I want you to forget all about that resolution of yours, I never want you to keep quiet around me ok..not evern when you are drunk..i mean it Khushi..",I finished with a wink.
Shes back to blushing furiously as she takes a bite off her omellete and sips her coffee as she says – " you are crazyyy.."
And I grin as I take another bite – " you wana know I secret??"
She nods.
I grin as I admit – " so after the yatch party when I got back to the room, I was so sloshed, like super sloshed, and I was totally about to drunk dial you and tell you how much I love you right then...but my battery was dead so I couldn't get around to calling you and I put the phone on charge and thought I will call you the minute it is on, but the minute I was on bed, I dozed off to sleep..so yeahh.."
Her eyes widen as she says – " whatttttttttttttttt??????????"
I grin as I say holding her hand from across the table – " and imagine my shock when I woke up to all that I did..when I was nothing but a man whose deeply in love with you right before I slept.."
She clutched my hand as she says – " I love you..arnav.."
I bend forward as I kiss her hand and I say – " how abour we just chill around in that hammock and spend time after in the brewry for lunch and I want to go to the beach for a walk with you too, before we get to winding up and leaving here.."
And her eyes now well up a little but she smiles through it as she says – " a perfect plan hoodie guy..a perfect plan it is..."
I smile at her, but my hand doesn't leave hers.
And she just continues to hold onto it tight too.
............................................
Arnav POV Continues
7:00 PM
My fingers are laced with Khushi's over the automatic gear box as shes now driving us back and we are about to reach back my boutique hotel in like 5 minutes.
So we had, had the perfect day as I had wanted for us and we had winded up from the Caravan by like 430, but only got around tp leaving the place like by 515 pm because I spent the last thirty minutes to forty minutes in the Caravan just kissing Khushi madly and holding her close into me and not letting her lips leave mine except for a couple of seconds in between which we needed to catch on our breaths, and then for the last five minutes – I had just held her crushingly close into me, and she held on to me and hugged me back, because emotions were gripping us both as the time for me to leave was nearing.(I had to be at the airport by 530 AM)
And on that Note – A Point.
I could never kiss her enough.
It was like the more I kissed her, the more I needed to kiss her over and over again.
There sure was something Magical and Powerful about sharing passionate kisses with the one you Love.
Because what I felt when I kissed her was beyond Fascinating and Alluring.
It was almost like getting drunk on your favourite drink.
Right then I hear her speak softly as she lowers down the volume of music of my favourite playlist – " Arnav..we are reaching your hotel in three minutes now.."
And I tighten my grip on her hand and I kiss her hand and she smiles at me by giving me a sideways glance,and then focuses on the road.
Her eyes always give her away.
Theres so much emotion in them all through the day today , that theyv been talking to me in a language of their own today.
I know – she is going to miss me crazily too.
And right then I see her pull the car to a halt in front of my hotel and I say on reflex – " come in with me please??? I just have a couple of hours Khushi..just be with me while I wind up no, and then we can order room service for dinner and once I am done packing and checking out, we can go to your place because I need to drop you in there safe and sound, and Ill be with you until I leave for the airport from there itself, you can call me an Uber then..uber girl..."
She smiles as she says – " Ok hoodie guy...I think we can do that..",and she now pulls over to the car parking of my hotel and we both put on our hoodie over our heads, and I take her hand and my cabin suitcase out of the boot of the car and I now led us straight to my room.
And just as I get in, and she gets in behind me, she tugs on my hand and pulls me in for a crushing hug as she holds me tight as she says softly against my chest – " will you please just hold me for a while????"
I do.
I hold her into a crushing hug for many minutes right there,and I cup her face with both my hands and I whisper honestly – " I am going to misss you so much too Khushi..so much is an understatement..."
She pecks my lips as she says against them – " I know..me too..",and she now takes me by the hand into the room as she says taking a deep breathe – " lets help you pack hoodie guy..."
And I kiss her forhead and I say cupping her face, her hands on my arms – " you know this morning, before you woke up that was exactly what I was thinking, about how much I am going to miss you..",and I kiss her nose as I whisper – " I promise to come see you as and when I can.."
She keeps her finger on my lips and closes her eyes and tip toes on her feet so that her forhead is now on mine as she says – ' please Arnav..like I said, I understand ok, don't worry about it at all...and id never want to distract you from your duty as a national player and more than that from the love for your game...it's the love of your life..i know that..you please go in with everything like you always were, where am I going?? Im here only no Arnav..for you..always..we are going to crazily talking all the time anyway right???"
I just hold onto her grip on my face as I close my eyes and lean my forhead into hers as I admit softly – " you are the love of my Life too Khushi..because I always knew from day one that im going to have to step away from cricket by when I am 30, or even if I didn't have a promise with my mom and grandmom, I know there would come a time and age when I would have to step away from the pitch, as a sports person we know from day one that theres going to be a time limit for us in our career, and that we have to step away from the sport we so deeply love and live for each day one day for sure,and know this Khushi – I can step away from cricket, but I can never step away from you..thats how much I love you.."
She instantly hugs me hard as she whispers in my ears – " Magical Carnage Mode on.."
I chuckle now as I pull her back in my arms and she whispers keeping her hands on both my shoulders – " I am with you always ok..just know that...and maybe, ill get around to inventing that damm teleportal myself.."
I grin as I say – " add a time machine to your list too please.."
She chuckles now as she says in a dramatic way counting on her fingers – " a teleportal and a time machine..totally ..i am on it hoodie guy...let me put in a special word to Hermoine, maybe she can help me, because surely the Muggle world hasn't come around to it yet.."
I chuckle – "some harry potter refrence again??i mean I am sure this hermoine is some brilliant wizard from the magical world.."
She grins – " see...you are getting it..smart you are..im telling you I am going to get you to watch the movies with me..one day..",and she now throws her phone on the bed as she says – " tell me..where should I start helping you from.."
And I pick out my suitcase and I place it on the bed and she starts to help me wind up.
........................
Thirty Minutes Later
Just as I finish winding up my suitcase and place it on the side, Khushi looks around the room as she asks – " is there anything else left hoodie guy??"
I nod and I walk up to the other cupboard as I take out my cricketing kit and I walk back near the suitcase as I place it next to it as I say – " now its all..."
And her eyes widen in excitement as she asks – " can I see your kit?? As in your bat and stuff??"
I nod and I gesture her to sit on the bed and she sits back and adjusts herself against the headrest crosslegged and I sit next to her and I place my kit on the bed and I open it,and I take out my bat as I touch it affectionately and I tell her – " that bat is my favourite...Khushi..i have like a few favorites bats in my collection, but this one is supersepcial to me.."
And she asks softly – " can I touch it??"
And I nod and kiss her forhead lovingly as I place it in her hands now and she brushes her hand over it tenderly with so much emotion and love, that it clean bowls me and she looks up into my eyes as she whispers softly – " I am really sorry, that I haven't been able to get myself to watch the live games yet...I want to..and one day I will..i mean for you..iv been working on it..i mean I do catch on the commentary's and I think I am a couple of steps away from downloading Cricbuzz, but maybe with some more time I will be able to get myself to watch you playing on tv...I am sorry that I am not able to see or witness something that is so important you Arnav..i mean...I don't know how you feel about this..becuase the entire world watches..but not..me..",and she pauses and she looks down on my bat again and brushes her hand over it lovingly.
I pull her into a side hug as I make her look at me and I say honestly – " khushi I know what this is about ok, and I understand, trust me, I understand from day one that you told me, and you wont believe how I beat myself about actually insisting you to watch the games on the first day we met, because back then I didn't know, but ever since I know..trust me..i totally understand what this is about Khushi..and just the fact that you want to work on this for me speaks volumes about how deeply you feel for me...so thank you for that Sunshine..",and I kiss her hand lovingly.
And she kisses my hand now as she turns sideways and looks into my eyes – " you know something..krish was always very possesive about his junior cricket kit when he was alive..i mean you know his street games..but do you know on his bat..he had used a permanent marker and written ASR on it..such a big fan he was of yours.."
I smile on reflex as I ask – " do you have the bat with you??"
She nods – " yes I do in the stock room next to my studio where I keep their stuff.."
I ask on reflex – " will you show it to me when we go to your place??"
She nods as she says – " will you please give me the receiver from the phone.."
And I do hand it to her , and she instructs me to press the reception button and I do and I listen her – request for a permanent marker to be sent to my room.
Once she finishes and I put down the phone she asks softly – " can I write something for you here?? On your bat?? If its ok for you..i mean..i cannot see the matches live, but I want to leave you a message here, so that you can see it when you are in the game, if its ok with you ofcourse..."
I grin as I admit – " id love that Khushi.."
Trust this girl – to pull on the heartstrings of my heart that don't exist.
Is there anything deeper than the Pacific Ocean?
My feelings are about to run way deeper than its depth now.
And shes just lovingly caressing my bat and right then the doorbell rings and the marker has been sent and I walk back to the bed with it and I hand it to her and she takes it excitedly and she opens the cap as she asks – " tell me a spot where it will be visible only to your eyes, and will also not get rubbed off because of wear and tear of the hits.."
I sit next to her and I tell her – " ok so then incase definetly not the blade, maybe the grip of the handle, wiat I think the best spot is the base right where the handle spots and the blade begins..safest spot..only visible to my eyes..no one can see it when the bats leaning rested against the wall too, because it gets hidden behind.."
She grins as she asks – " where exactly, point it out to me no.."
I do and she grins as she says – " close your eyes.."
I do.
Seconds later she says – " open your eyes Arnav.."
I do and she gestures me to look on it.
And – I see whats written in Capital letters there in not a very big size, but not very small too, just right.
2HGWLFK2(THE LAST 2 IS KIND OFF WRITTEN LIKE A SQAURE SYMBOL OVER K)
I look at her and I grin as I say – " that's cryptic khushi..you have to tell me what that means although I can guess that the h and g stand for hoodie guy.."
She grins as she pecks my cheek – " you did guess that right Arnav.."
I grin – " expand and explain please.."
She smiles – " its short initials for what I want you to see before every match – TO HOODIE GUY WITH LOVE FROM KRISH AND KHUSHI..",and she pauses as she says with a lot of emotion in her voice – " I included krish's name in there too..you know since he has yours on his bat..hes probably up there dancing in heaven right now.."
I pull her into a crushing hug immediately and I kiss her forhead and just hold her close into me and she snuggles into me and she whispers – " it looks like a code word ok hoodie guy, only you know what it means..."
I kiss her forehead again, my heart is gripped with so much emotion right now and she instantly now kneels up on the bed as she looks at me with a grin through her tears – " ohhh...my hoodie guy is speechless now..."
I nod and she says – " ok, will you do me a favour Arnav?"
I nod.
She grins – " so now sadly all your bats are not there with you here na, and I cant obviously reach them because that damm teleportal hasn't still been invented.."
I chuckle on reflex.
She continues with a grin – " please write what I have written for you on this bat with a marker when you go back,on your favourite bats the ones you play with most and also all the others..so I will feel like I am with you in your every game too, even though I am not watching.."
Emotions have just run deeper than the depth of the Pacific Ocean, Now.
Damm this girl.
I manage to nod as I whisper – " I promise..i will"
She jumps up in glee on the bed in a yay gesture, making me laugh now and she quickly jumps off and walks to the phone – ' lets order dinner now hoodie guy??"
I nod.
My eyes fall on the time on my phone.
It was nearing 915 pm now.
And my heart was gripping with a lot of intense emotion.
It was sad that this Damm ticks on the clock won't just stop ticking.
And I say to her once she finishes dinner – " and after we finish dinner, I am going to kiss you until its for us to head to your place Khushi..ok??"
She sits onto my lap immediately as wraps her hand around my neck as she says - " yess Arnav..but..we can do that too you know whilst we wait for the dinner to come..",and this time before I can take her lips with mine, she takes mine in a ravishing kiss.
............................
Arnav POV Continues
Midnight
Khushi settles in my bigger suitcase and my cabin bag against the back door of Chai and Coffee and she takes my hand and she laces her fingers through it and now takes me up the staircase leading to her studio,and first thing out as we are nearing the first landing turn the one in which I had caged her in my arms first time I had walked up here and not kissed her even though I had been dying because I had first wanted to talk to her – so now just as steps on that very landing, I immediately shove her against the wall , and take her lips in a deep ravishing kiss.
I only had like four hours to four and a half hours to be with her now.
I had to leave from here by 430 if I had to make it in time to the airport.
And so I just keep kissing her , having her caged in my arms right there and just as she breaks apart to catch on her breathe many heated minutes later, I scoop her in my arms and I take her up to the studio, and she unclocks the door now , and I swing it open just like the first time I had done when I reached here on Monday and just as I step in , I place her on her feet and pull her into a crushing hug, again.
That's all I can do to express what I am feeling right now.
No words will be enough.
She breaks apart minutes later as she says with a grin – " ohh you wait hoodie guy..end November na..just five months will fly like this...I am telling you...",and she cups my face and kisses my forhead – ' I also do want you to get a little rest Arnav..you have a long travel.."
I shake my head as I say – " nahhh, I will sleep on the flight.."
Khushi cups my face again as she says – " ok hoodie guy..",and she grins – " and for our tradition like you know how I made that maggi for you at 330am in the morning..i will make you some again.."
I grin as I tug her hand and pull her close – " I want to see Krishs bat..will you take me to your other room, iv never seen it, since you never video call from there Khushi.."
She nods as she walks up to her mini chest of drawers and takes out a key and now holds my hands and takes me out to the other room door adjoining her studio, and she opens it and she stands against the door now facing me,and she looks into my eyes as she says softly – " Arnav..no one has ever seen this room..after I settled in here..no one..as in no one..not even rahul, diya, uncle or aunty,i keep It locked..everyone only comes to my studio..and don't even ask me to open this door, because they know this is where all those precious memories are..and also I don't let anyone see this because I feel like if anyone sees how I have arranged the stuff to be in there..i mean they might think that im not moving on from my grief..when I am..its like this is my way of dealing with greif.."
I kiss her forhead – ' everyone grives differently khushi...so please don't be harsh on yourself,and you don't have to take me in there,if its so personal to you, I mean..ill wait in the studio whilst you get me krishs bat to see..thats all I want to see..i don't want to invade into your personal space in a way that will make you uncomfortable.."
She holds both my hands into her as she kisses them and she says looking into my eyes – " I want you to see it..you are the only one in this whole wide world who I want to share this with..Arnav.."
She touches a zillion non existent heartstrings in my heart that just came to Life with that sentence.
And I nod and pull her into a hug and she stays in my arms for a couple of minutes and then she pulls apart and I see her take a deep breathe and she opens the door and swings it open and I step in behind her.
And she switches on the light.
So when she did tell me that shes got this other room next to her which she has a little study area and some suitcases with her parents and krishs old stuff – I was expecting a normal full fledged study area on one side like you know with a study unit cabinets, chairs etc and some suitcases stocked up at the loft which I could clearly see above.
But I was no where expecting what I saw.
For on one side a did see a huge carpet on which there was this low wedged up tables (the one you kind off use as breakfast tables in bed) and there were cushions against it and line of books stacked against the wall and right on the other side there were three to four suitcases laid down right on the floor and they were flipped open but I could see the zipper was open of them all.(like how you keep your suitcase open on a luggage unit in a hotel room on holidays when you don't want to settle stuff into the cupboard) and right next to that was a old wooden cabinet where I could see a couple of cartons were placed.They were open too.And there was also a old vintage mirror right next to where the lane of books ended.
And at the back of us, right next to the door were various old big cartons.
She laces her fingers with mine as she leans into my shoulder as she says emotion evident in her voice – " when I moved here, aunty did suggest me to get a study table...but I didn't books that's how mom had arranged krishs study corner in his room back in our house...so I just transfeered the same arramgenemnt that carpet and cushion is from krishs room and that breakfast table is what I mostly study on sitting crosslegged – its from mom and dads room when they would sometimes eat breakfast in bed, and that mirror you see Arnav, is what I got from Moms dresser..and those open suitcases that you see on the other side is what has most of their precious belongings – I keep the suitcases open all the time, I mean not flipped open..but the zipper open..i cant get myself to close it completely and shove it up that loft – that makes me feel like I will be locking them out of my life..and I also keep it open, because sometimes just randomly I walk in here and I want to be able to just touch and feel their stuff immediately..makes me feel like...",and she now chokes and I hug her immediately as she says into my arms – " it just makes me feel like I still have my family.."
I wipe a tear outta the corner of my eyes, as I kiss her forhead – " you are very brave Khushi..very brave..i cannot even begin to imagine what it must have been for you..."
She just holds onto my arms as she whispers – " it was bad for the first four days like I told you I was given anxiety pills..but it got better..and...",she paused as she spoke now stepping back and wiping her tears away – " and I am doing much better now..iv come to the stage that I am able to come into this room and walk out without crying..so yea....its just that you are here with me no today, that's why these tears..",and she wipes frehs tears that ooze out her eyes and she wipes them out as she says – "ohh god hoodie guy, just excuse them..they will stop..",and she holds my hands as she leads me to sit on the carpet and she says – " Arnav..i just want to show you this one small cabin bag, it has like mom, dads ,krishs super favourite stuf...do you want to see??and then I will show you the bat also.."
I nod in silence and I pull her into a hug, and only I know what this means to her for to open up to me like this and she now sits cross legged as she pulls the smallest cabin bag in front of her,and flips it open and starts telling me about the precious items related to her late parents and brothers and the respective emotional significance of the same.
About fifteen minutes later, she closes the cover of the suitcase and she takes a deep sigh as she looks at me and gives me a smile – " I felt very good showing it to you hoodie guy..really it was like catharsis for me.."
I hug her into my side as I kiss her forhead – " I am glad you feel that...",and she now gets up and I ask her – " whats in those big cartons against the wall right next to the door khushi.."
She smiles – " oh that is uncle and auntys old stock stuff...it was like this when I came here..i have just let it be on one side..i don't touch it.."
And she now walks up to the other cartons on the cabinet behind these suitcases and I see her pull out a mini cricketing bat from right next to the side of the behind of the cabinet and she touches it lovingly as she says – " this is the bat Arnav...krishs favourite bat.."
And she walks upto me and sits next to me and hands it to me, and I take it in my hands and she twists it around as she says – " see its there..your name ASR and your playing no 11.."
I smile as my fingers go over it on reflex and khushi leans her head on my shoulders as she says lacing her hand through my arm – " see krish now your favourite cricketing player has seen your bat ok...you better be doing bhangra in glee now.."
I kiss Khushi on her forhead immediately And right then a thought comes to my head and I look at Khushi as I ask – " sunshine, In the picture you sent me of krish once with his friend, he was wearing a jersey like it was a mini version of my jersey because it had my name and playing number on the back...where is that?? do you have it ?i want to see it??"
Her hands now tighten on my arms and she says softly – " no I don't have that Arnav.."
My fingers linger on the bat again lovingly and right then I hear her say – " he was wearing it that day Arnav...he was so exicted no to be able to see the live match for the first time..even though mom did tell him to change into that only when they would reach Johaneus burg or on the way to the stadium but..he was so excited he would not listen..so yes..that same mini jersey was what he wore when he left home that day..the last I saw of him..",and she paused as emotion choked her again and I immediately kept the bat aside gently and pulled her into a crushing hug and cradled her in my lap and I just held her close as I spoke – " its ok if you want to cry Khushi..its ok.."
And just as I say that to her.
She just hugs me hard and breaks down in my arms.
..............................
About fifteen minutes later, as he sobs are now easing out, I finally cup her face as I ask – " do you feel better now??"
She nods as she wipes her tears and gives me a smile – " arreee...you are magic no wizard hoodie guy...crying in your arms was also cathartic...thank you for holding me so tight while I was sobbing, it made me feel very safe.."
I kiss her forhead and she kisses mine as she says – " how about we eat some maggi now?? Im kind of getting hungry already.."
I nod and she takes the bat and places it to its original position and then she takes my hand and takes us out the door and locks it back and we go into her studio and I instantly walk up to her counter and fill out a glass of water for her as I say walking up to her – " please have some water Khushi..."
She gives me a smile and sips the water down , and she then fils a glass for me and gestures me to have it too , and I do.
And then she now takes two packets out of the drawer and she starts to get the saucepan out and the water on and she asks softly – " whats the time arnav..??"
I take a deep breathe as I say – " 130 am Khushi..."
Emotions have gripped my heart totally.
I don't want to leave.
I don't want to say goodbye.
I mean – ofcourse this is not Goodbye.
She nods as she says – " I need to call you an uber for 415 am na..ill just put an alarm for 410 am..",and she takes out her phone and puts on the alarm,and she now puts her phone away as she turns to me as she puts the maggi on the boil and I pull her by the hand and wrap my hands around her wait as I kiss her forhead – " I don't want to leave Khushi..i swear..i..."
She tip toes on her feet and she smacks my lips briefly and then she pulls apart and gives me a wink as she says – " ohhhh then everyone will think South Africa cheated big time and kept Indias favourite player away from his blue jersey...tsk tsk...no no...we are all fair and square..",and she now jumps back and she gestures as if shes making a cricketing shot as she grins – " go go hoodie guy, fire those shots off..."
And she does it so adorably that it now makes me chuckle in reflex as I ask – " did you ever play cricket with Krish??"
She's grinning and all happy now and I am glad.
For her every sob and every tear in my arm was kind of moving me in a way I cant express.
Now I lean against the counter and look at her,as She stirs through the noodles and she looks at me and gives me a wink as she says – " want to know a secret?"
I grin as I say kissing her nose – " I want to know all your secrets khushi..you know that.."
She winks as she says – " arree let no one listen or hell will break loose..that the girl the vice captain of the Indian cricket team loves, does not even know how to hold a bat..."
And I chuckle on reflex and pull her into me and take her lips in for a brief kiss..",and she pulls apart minutes later as she says – " my noodles will get carnaged hoodie guy..."
And I chuckle,and I see her now serve us both some maggi and she now starts prepping up the coffee too as she says – ' come hoodie guy..lets have some maggi and coffee, before you leave.."
I nod as my eyes fall on the time.
Why can't the time stop still when you want it too?????????????
............................
One Hour Later
Its nearing 3 am now, and I see Khushis eyes fall on the clock too ,and she now gets up her dining table and takes the empty cups and bowls to the sink and I help her clean up.
We had spent the last one hour just talking to each other again and Khushi had me in splits as she recited me most of her funny mischiefs from her childhood(that she remembered) and I confided in her some of my very own too.(the ones I remembered starkly)
Just as we finish cleaning up, she comes to me as she holds my hand and she says – " why don't you lie down for some time Arnav.."
I hug her close and I say – " if you will lie down in my arms that is Khushi.."
She grins – " I will..",and she now takes me by the hand and she gets into her bed and gestures me to come lie down next to her and I do, and right then she turns towards me and I turn to face her and I cup her face as I ask – " you do have a alarm for 410 am right??"
She nods and I kiss her nose – " good, because now I am juts going to spend the all the next minutes I have just kissing you....is that ok Sunshine??"
She nods and kisses my cheeks and she whispers – " id like that Arnav.."
I snake my hands around her waist as I say pulling her close into me – " I can never kiss you enough...I cant explain to you what I feel when I kiss you khushi..."
She snuggles into me closer – "I know what you mean, and trust me its so intoxicating the way you kiss me or how I am impacted by it all...I know I am crazy so you know I googled it anyway...the power of a kiss with the one you love...I mean to know and read about it if there was any scientific data backing it up.."
I grin as I ask her – " you whatttt????"
She chuckles – " now you know what I mean by why I asked the doctor to check if my brain was wired right..i get these weird amusing thoughts, and because of all that I have been feeling with just your kisses, I thought lets google and check if their something really powerful about kissing the one you love..i mean google would know right..Mr Google knows everythingggggggggggggg...."
I grin as I ask – " ok so did you find something????"
She nods – " yes yes there was interesting article by this oxford university researcher..oxford university arnav..means they know what they are saying...it was titled the secret power of kissing and the main brief was that apparently passionate lip locks can be as powerful as..hmm..",and she paused and I just gestured her to go on and she straightened her throat as she said – ' you know it said that it had the power to be almost as powerful than the act itself you know what I mean..they say its more intimate you know and it kind off release's dopamine, oxytoxcin and serotonin all happy neurotransmitters that make you feel motivated, aroused of course, connected and content too, that it really helps strengthen emotional bonds...so when I finished reading that I was like ok if a oxford university researcher is saying this – im not crazy to feel myself melting under all that passionate carnage your lips unleash on me...since you are the one I love..so..i think its natural for me to feel all of this...Arnav.."
Gooodddddddddddd!!!.
I am amused.
I am so amused by her and at the same time Love grips my heart too.
And now I am not going to let her get a word out of her mouth at all.
I take her lips in a ravishing kiss her and her hands go around my neck immediately and a deep passionate duel is what follows in between our lips as we pour in all our emotions into it, and I cant get enough of her, I just cant and so I just pull her as close into me as humanly possibly and just continue kissing her hard.
Many heated minutes later, we break apart to catch on our breaths and she whispers against my lips – " I don't even think I want to breathe right now...Arnav..",and I grin on reflex as I fuse my lips with hers in a deep prolonged french kiss.
And we continue to just kiss each other like that madly
.........................
45 Minutes Later
Khushi is now trembling, shaking in my arms as Iv just finished showering a lot of my not so gentle kisses on both the sides of her neck and her gorgeous shoulder blades and she now opens her eyes that are filled with passion and she whispers – " gosh Arnav..you know I am going to goosebumps looking at all these marks on my neckline after you leave.."
I grin as I kiss her hand – "that is the point Sunshine.."
She smiles as she bites her lip – " I know that hoodie guy.."
Well.
She shouldn't have looked at me like that.
I kiss her immediately.
Hard.
And then because I remember a thought in my head, I pull apart about ten minutes later as I say – " oh sunshine, I know you don't remember what you said last night..so you obviously don't remember what I said to you right before I left.."
She looks at me embarrassed – " what did you say.."
I lean into her ear as I whisper – " I told you that you are Bliss..my freaking torturous sweet bliss and I am going to fine you for this this insanely intoxicating word-ly torture tomorrow right before I leave..know that Sunshine.."
She shivers in my arms and she cups my face and makes me look into her eyes as she says softly – " I don't remember Arnav..i was really drunk..what fine???"
I grin victoriously as I say – " so you know you mentioned all about your airport terminology, the immigrations etc etc, so you know when we leave a place, we do have to get a outward stamp from the immigrations too right, on the passport..."
She nods as she looks at me confused – " yes we do.."
I look into her eyes as I say intently – " so you can kind of presume that – that's what these marks are ok..stamps that tell you that im going to be back soon..."
She shivers under my intent gaze.
I whisper looking into her eyes – " I want to leave a stamp on one more place though..to mark both my arrival into your life and departure just for now..but only if you are ok with it.."
She asks , all blushing – " which place Arna..v??"
I smile as I rub my thumb over her cheek – " your heart...if that's ok...?i promise to behave and just kiss you right where the heart is..and you can keep your tee on too khushi..just hold it yourself too as in pull it down to that spot yourself.. if you will be more comfortable.."
She Blushes to that usual shade of Tomato Puree,but she looks into my eyes and nods silently as she closes her eyes and turns her head to one side and pulls down her V neck tee to one side a little downward aside to one side and she holds the tee right to the spot right below her heart and just the sight of her- destroys me, as I dip my head and I trail a line of deep kisses down the frontal side of her throat and I stop exactly near her fingertips as they are clutching her tee and I kiss her softly on her heart and then as she trembles and shivers – not so softly and not so gentle too, and a couple of minutes later, I adjust her tee up with my hand and I move up to her and cup her face and I make her turn to my face as I say – "open your eyes Khushi.."
She does.
I smile as I rub my thumb over her cheek – " that's just me stamping my outgoing departure for a shortwhile, ok?? I will be back soon...very soon.."
She nods and shes all shaking and shivering in my arms and I ask with a chuckle – "my sunshine is all speechless now???
She nods and right the alarm on her phone buzzes and we both sit up in bed as she now calls me an Uber.
We both stand up and I lace my hand through hers as I pull her close and I whisper – " I don't want to say goodbye Khushi..you know this is not goodbye..i will never use the word goodbye with you...lets say until we meet again..ok??"
She nods as she says – " until we meet again , hoodie guy...",and she hugs me hard and takes my lips in a brief kiss again and minutes later she says – " come, I will see out out to your uber, like I always do..."
I nod,and my hand go across her shoulders as we are now walking out the stairs and just as we reach that landing of the stairs, I shove her against the wall and kiss her hard again,and she kisses me back as hard this time around.
This was way too intense!
Now I am super sure that whoever wrote that article was some genious – because there surely was some secret power to kissing the one you love with so many emotions.
I was going to check this article out.
Khushi breaks apart many heated minutes later (almost 5-7) as shes heaving in my arms again as she says against my lips – " arnav..your uber must be here by now...lets go..."
I kiss her forhead and she holds onto my hand and takes me down the stairs and just as she opens the back door and peeps out – the Uber is right there.
I walk with my suitcases to the car and the driver helps me settle it into the boot and I now gesture him to just wait in the car for a second and he does and just as he sits in the seat, I take Khushis hand and walk her back in to the backdoor and I say – " I don't want you to stand alone on the road at this time Khushi..not safe...",and I pull her into a deep hug right just a step into the back door of Chai and Coffee and she tiptoes and takes my lips in a brief kiss, which I turn into deep one again and she now breaks apart as she whispers against my lips – " I love you Arnav...go now...or you will be late..airports further from here hoodie guy....."
I kiss her forhead and just as I turn around she holds onto my hand and I turn around and she cups my face as she asks – " you have the hanuman chalisa with you right????"
There.
Emotions deeper than the depth of the pacific ocean grip my heart.
I nod as I kiss her hand – " always..you know I keep it in my wallet right..",and she now hugs me close again and she whispers something into herself that I cant quite gather and when she pulls apart as I asked her – " whats that you whispered??"
She kisses my forhead as she said – " a super powerful mantra from my hanuman chalisa ok..its really powerful..its going to be with you now..like a safety cover..its always going to protect you..."
I hug her hard into me again as I say – " Sunshine..i love you..."
She kisses me on my heart this time as she says – " I love you too Arnav...ill wait for you..right here..always..go now go go ..."
And I hug her again and kiss her forhead, her eyes and her nose and her lips briefly – "soon..very soon..just five months ok...just five months...."
She nods as she wipes a tear outa the corner of her eye and I finally turn around and walk back quickly and sit in the cab in an instant and the driver drives away.
And I feel like My Heart is going to drown in so much emotion right now.
Goddamit!!!!!!!!!
I am going to miss her insanely.
Insanely – is an Understatement.
I brush my hands over my face in helplessness because I have to Leave, and I close my eyes and lean my head back into my seat and Khushi's thoughts flood their way in.
Godaaammmittttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just Somebody get me that Time Machine!!
JUST SOMEBODY GET ME THAT BLOODY TIME MACHINE!!!!!!!!!!!
.......................................
Tadadada!!!!!! Let me know what you guys thinkkkkk!!!!
I went through so much up and down of emotion while writing this guysss!!!
Hope you all feel my words have done justiceee!!!!
Pls excuse editing errors as I have not proofread.
Now I shall return to writing Chaotic Wires so there will be a pause for like a week to this now.
IMPORTANT NOTE – AND SINCE ARNAV IS DYING FOR THAT TIME MACHINE..I AM GOING TO GIVE HIM ONE..HEHEHE..THERE WILL BE A LEAP OF 5 MONTHS GUYS AFTER THIS UPDATE – AND WE SHALL BEGIN FROM STRAIGHT INTO NOVEMBER IN THE TIMELINE OF THIS STORY.
Much Love Guysss, Always
.................................
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