
CHAPTER 29.1 - A 'TIDAL' LOW
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CHAPTER 29.1 – A 'TIDAL' LOW
ON THE DAY OF THE SEMI'S – 17TH July, 2019
Taunton, UK
11:00 PM
Khushi's POV
Guys.
I swear to all of my Cricketing Gods, above that I feel like I am going to have an Anxiety Attack – like right here, right now, which is the reason that you will see that all of my Insides are in a freaking collective Nerve wrecking Silence, right now. They are in a state of a Nervous Shut- Down.
Why?
Because I am consumed with an Anxiety+ Nervousness* Infinity – Indeed.
I know I need to give in a little context in here, first as to give a little glimpse into all that led to the built-up of this moment. So, I shall get on with it, without further ado.
First thing out - I am in the little en-suite room, that I have been allotted in the accommodation for all of us, Western Storm team players during this training camp at Taunton, UK.( I still hate that I am here right now, though and not in the Stadium in Manchester).Anyways, so we had an intense training session earlier today in between off 830 am – 2PM, and I was really glad about that, for by the time we returned to our accommodations at around 230PM, I had a full 30 minutes window, to just be with Arnav on text as well, as that was when they all left for the Stadium too, and just wish him all the best for the High Pressure Game today, and be there for him, and with him – at least Virtually. I mean I was obviously on the video call with him last night for hours and earlier this morning too, before heading out for practice, but you know what I mean don't you? I obviously wanted to be there with him, before the Match Began as well.
So.
The Toss happened at 3PM and New Zealand won the toss and chose to Bat, first (and I could easily read the flash of disappointment in Arnav's eyes at the Toss time, only)– since the pitch report of the surface was a Tricky one , and India wanted to get some runs up on the board, first. But since NZ chose to Bat, India had to obviously go into field first.And as the match began, Sheena Di and me obviously huddled up together – to get onto seeing the Semi-s streaming live on our Tablet.(We were in her room,which was like next to mine, for the first innings and shifted to mine, post the Innings break).So, the first innings went great – as India did a wonderful job to restrict NZ to 239/8 in their 50 overs. And just like all the Indian fans across the world, we were obviously thrilled about the same, having full confidence in our batting line up to chase the Target of 240 runs for the win.
BUT.
As the second innings began, and India went into Bat – the surface of the Pitch and its conditions turned to exactly suit the bowling conditions a lot more (as was forecasted and expected by that tricky pitch report, earlier) – and we lost, Shiv's wicket early in this unbelievable catch out at first slip in just 10 runs. So India was 10/1 in three overs. And because the strategy worked to send in Yuvaan at no 3 instead off Arnav coming in at the usual spot- in the last match, that's exactly what the Indian team went for and Yuvaan came out to join, Rohan sir in batting, but he got clean bowled by the New Zealand pacer on the third ball he faced, after firing a quick 6 and 4 on the first two balls. So by the 3.3 overs – India was 20/2. In came, Arnav then to join Rohan on the crease, and just when we thought that the two of them were settling in, and were going to root in a crucial partnership, which was the need of the Hour – Rohan sir lost his wicket in a clear LBW, in the next over after firing a couple of boundaries and India was at the spot off 40/3 in 4.5 overs.And at that point the scorecard Looked Like -
Shiv – 5 runs – Out
Yuvaan – 10 runs – Out
Rohan – 20 runs – Out
Arnav – was batting at 5 runs* Not out
And I think it was a strategic call once again, to have Veer, our middle order all-rounder, come in first to join Arnav after losing all the early wickets, and hold onto Cap coming in after him – because Cap obviously had more experience to take things Deep in the Chase.
However, unfortunately – in the very first ball he faced – Veer got clean bowled by NZ's leg spinner as he bowled in a killer inswinger. And India was in a position off 40/4 in 5 Overs. With still 200 more runs to Chase, for the WIN. I could obviously read onto the little tension in Arnav's eyes as he patted Veer's arm in subtle support, before going onto stand mid pitch, as Veer walked off the field dejected and disappointed. But a couple of seconds later, Arnav's body language as eased into a state of calm and composure, as he evaluated the pitch conditions, whilst waiting for Cap to join him in on the Screen. We were all confident and held faith in our hearts, that Arnav and Cap together, could obviously chase the Score Down. The need of the hour was to just Keep both the Wickets Intact and bat in a solid partnership.
Which is exactly what they Have Done – uptil this very Point in time.
Currently -India is 200 – 4.
And Arnav is batting on a solid – 90* not Out
And Cap is at 70* - not out as well.
Like Thank You – God, for this.(For I obviously know, how important this is to Arnav, as Skipper as well – as he is shouldering the responsibility at the Crease right now, along with Cap.
They know they can do it.
But now – coming to the bit as to why I feel like I am about to go into a panic attack with nervousness is the fact that - We still need 40 runs to win and there are only three overs left to be bowled.
As in we need 40 freaking runs in 18 balls, and each of NZ ace bowlers who have been excellent in the death in this tournament have an over to still bowl and more than that, it's the fact that the pitch surface has really slowed down as well towards the end of the game. Even with Cap and Arnav's collective experience out on the crease – there hasn't been any boundary in the last five overs – and theyv been scoring runs in singles and double's.( As a professional cricketer, I obviously can anticipate as to why they are doing this – they obviously want to keep their wicket Intact, because if any one of them lose their wicket in the moment, the momentum will shift to NZ again, at the most crucial time)
Right then the little ad that was playing up my screen, as the previous over finished, I see the sight of Arnav and Cap deep in conversation on the mid pitch.They are probably discussing out the strategy out for the next three last crucial overs.
And in the very next shot – the media people show the vision of the fans in the ground around and the Family Box and I can easily see that almost everyone in the stands, who have come out in support for India have the similar nervous and anxious emotion being reflected on their faces. And even more ,worried and anxious expressions on the faces off Akash, Payal, Samaira, Noor, Sachi maam + all the rest of the family and friends members of the Indian team players who had come out in their support. I can totally imagine, Bhai and Anjali getting all tensed in the stands too – they did make it to the stadium in mid innings guys but Anjali avoided the family box this time around, since Bhai was with her, and they did not want to come into the limelight together as of yet. They are sitting in the stands closer to the grounds.
Right then I see, Sheena di, step out my little ensuite washroom and she asks, with a frown up her face, taking her seat next to me , plonked up on the bed – " please tell me I did not miss the start of the over??"
I gulp down and mask major bit of my anxiousness immediately now, so that it comes across as a genuine fan worry and not give the expression away of a personal worry attached into the angle, as I shove the tablet in between us both and I say – " no, you didn't miss it...sheena di...the bowlers just getting ready to ball..."
She nods and looks at the screen in my hand and says, deep in thought – " Hmmm..thats ASR and Cap, deep in conversation mid pitch, I think they are discussing the fact that they have to take a little risk this over...and try to get some boundaries, otherwise it will be too much pressure on the last two overs...still 40 runs needed..."
I nod as I say – " yup, di...I think the same...as in...its kind of like do or die..this over...because they do need to get atleast a minimium 10 or 12 off it...and we know they can do it..."
Sheena di nods – " oh yes...they have the pressure experience..surely as in Cap and ASR...are star chasers...."and she frowns and says – " but this pitch I tell you Khushi, has slowed down insanely...its gotten very slow..."
I nod, worried – " yes di..i know what you mean...that's why we are all worried na...as in as cricketers we obviously know, that they need to take the risk as well, but at the same time – if in comes a medium paced delivery on this pitch, it could easily go into a catch out, around fine leg as well..."
Sheena di nods – " and yup...like I expected...the NZ skipper is sending in their ace leg spinner...god Khushi, you wont believe I was just browsing up online on while I was freshing up, and you have no cluse how badly people are bashing up, Shiv, Rohan and Yuvaan, online for their wickets falling in the way they did, in such a crucial match..."
Ofcourse.
I roll my eyes at that as I say – " uff ya di...thats why I always say, majority of the sporting fans, are always like Fair weather friends......as in...wasn't it that just last game they were heaping praises on the top order batsmen for their brilliant performances...as in Rohan sir fired up a freaking 110 not out last match...shiv sir a 60 and Yuvaan a brilliant 25 as well....sometimes it's about the tricky gaming conditions, coming into play..they are only human ya.....and can't they freaking see how well India has done this entire tournament...like they are the only ones to have just lost out one game...in the league stages...and finished on top of the group table.."
Sheena di Nods – " oh yes...I agree on that Khushi..its totally that way..and especially back in our India, where everyone's so emotional about our game..its like one amazing game....and the fandom will be at an all high time high...and one loss – you see them burning down posters of players, or hurl up abuses and hate and go into trolling mode online..."
I sigh as I say – " if only they knew that it's the players who are already beyond disappointed in the moment as well...expericing a low within..already...I mean the look on Rohan sir's and SHIv's face as they got out...and even Yuvaan and Veer for the matter..."
Sheena di sighs – " yes I agree Khushi..i mean, but it's a sad truth you know, that no one...just no one freaking cares, as to what we sportspersons go through in our emotions behind the scenes...all everyone cares about is the performance and the percentages of the win....god forbid, if India lose this today...we can only imagine the massive storm up online, for the men in blue...the Online critical courts wont spare the team...the Bashers and Trollers will have a field day..."
I sigh as my hearts filled with worry and I say – " and specially Captain ASR and Cap as well...id they are not able to see this chase through...for everyone obviously expects them to just fire it through...but we know...how difficult that pitch is turning out to be...right??"
Sheena di nods and says now – " yes...turn up the volume now, Khushi will you please??"
I nod and I unmute the button on my screen.
I could seriously bite my nails off in nerve wrecking anticipation right now. That's how worried I am for Arnav - guys. Because I know – it in my heart, that as Skipper, he is going to face too much wrath up online and unnecessary criticism, if India loses this.
We hear the commentators voice fill in our ears now – " and in comes the first ball of the over...and is a dot, no run...Dev hit it too close too the short man position..pressure building here for India, they need 40 runs in just 17 balls now...but currently they do have two of their star chasers on the crease, which does have NZ a little worried, they know ASR loves a crucial chase and so does Dev..what we have seen tonight ladies and gentleman, is nonetheless an excellent display of grit in a high pressure moment by both India's Skipper and ex – Skipper...as they'v held the fort for India in the beautiful partnership of the much needed 155 runs, for at one point with India being 40/4 in just five overs, it almost looked as if India was out of the game , right then...but they'v done brilliantly so far...now lets see if they can take it through for India...in comes the next ball..."
I clutch onto Sheena Di's hand tight and we both see Cap make the effort to hit the ball for a Drive, but it doesn't go through, as a fielder dives in and catches it just off the 30 yard single, which only results in a Single.
Sheena di says now – " Ok...Khushi, we need 40 runs, in 15 balls now...ASR has to take the risk..or else we won't make it..."
I nod, clutching onto the her hand – " yup...di..." Guys. I think, he is going to take the risk, as in his silent gesture to Cap across right now on the pitch does tell me that he's going to go in for a Drive for a Four. And now as I read his body language, I think he's going to go in for a backfoot straight Drive.
And right then the ball is bowled and we see him do just that, as he fires a backfoot straight drive, which speeds through the gap to touch the boundary Covers in a Four.
Yipeeeeeee!!
I yell that out in Happiness as well as we see the fan supporting India in the stadium go into a roar and the commentators voice comes through – " this is the exact reason as to why that NZ Skipper is worried...he knows these two man on the crease have that ability to fire it up for India to closure, that backfoot drive we just witnessed was a beauty beyond words, timed to perfection, even though the ball was a deceptive outswinger...the Skipper has reached to 94 with that...but we can see he isn't smiling, as he and Dev are gesturing each other to stay put on the crese...for he knows that's he'd got a task up at hand...India still needs 36 runs in just 14 balls..."
Sheena di says – " ohkkk...see atleast a boundary...that's some relief..."
I nod at her. My Heart is sending out Prayers.
And right then, we see the next ball get bowled in as a cheeky wide yorker, that does goes out as a Wide.
35 runs – in 14 balls.
I can read Arnav adjusting his body language on the crease again, as he also readjusts his foot work – my gut tells me – he's going to aim for a cover drive next. That's his strength.
In comes the next ball and Arnav fires it in a perfect Cover Drive now, and we wait with bated breaths to see the ball rushing to the boundary covers in a FOURRR!!!!
I clutch on Sheena di's hand happily and she clutches on mine as she says – " ok...we need to crown ASR the king of cover drives for Khushi...hes on 98 now..."
I chuckle, happily as they show the little relieved expressions on everyones faces from the family box – " lets do that already...di..lets do that..."
Sheena di grins – " ok...13 balls...31 runs still needed....ASR needs to try for a Six maybe...to easen the pressure out......it's a huge risk that he has to take on nonetheless...as the NZ skipper is adjusting his fielders around the boundary line now..."
And right then we see, Arnav fire the Ball in a UpperCUt that does go up really high towards the boundary cover but the speed of the ball does slow down, and I sip my head in my hands now as I say to di – " di..please tell me when that sixer crosses the line...I can't see the screen...that's how nervous I am...for..the speed of the ball is slowing....i am so afraid it could go straight into the hands of the fielder beyond fine leg..."
And right then I sear Sheena di groan out loud – " droppppp it......"
And I look up now instantly, worry consuming my insides as I ask, looking at the screen – " what? catch out?the fielder.. He caught it??he caught it clean??"
Sheena di nods, groaning in disappointment now – " I think he did..because of the way NZ fielders are celebrating...but they are going to recheck..ofcourse..."
Godammitttt – NOOOO!
I know Arnav will be so disappointed with himself if he is announced OUT right now. I know, exactly what he will feel.
Right then the commentators voice falls through in our ears as we look at the screen – " ohhh what a catch...what a catch...ASR is gone...the balls went staright into the fielders hand...and his foot just a cm away and safe from the boundary line cover....oh what a disappointment for the Indian Skipper this is...he's lost his wicket at the most crucial time...Arnav Singh Raizada...gone for 98....and India need 209/5 in 48 overs and still need 31 runs to win from 12 balls..."
My Heart aches for him guys, as I see Arnav, whisk his bat in the air, in angry frustration now, as Cap comes to pat his shoulders as he is walking up and I see him say something to Cap now, and I can easily think that he's saying that its all on Him now – feeling completely dejected, in the moment, as he adjusts his bat under his arm now,and just as he is about to walk off the field with his head bowed down – I close my eyes and I send out a – No, Arnav.No. Remember you once promised me, that You shall never walk off the field with your head bowed down..no matter how disappointing the situation.You played so freaking well, My Stranger, my love...so freaking well...you held the fort and scored 98 runs...you had to take the risk,the situation demanded it.. its ok sometimes it pays off...sometimes it doesn't. Please don't have your Head down.And a second later, as I open my eyes, I am consumed with a lot of emotion, that I have to mask at my face – as we see Arnav, take off his Helmet instead of having his head down, and he walks off the field, with his held straight up, as he's just shaking it in the gaming disappointment, making his way back to the dug out. I can easily read the flash of angst and pain in his eyes – though, as he pats Singh's shoulder now, whose making his way out to join Cap on the Crease.
The Ad rolls through and I lean back against the wall, my Heart going out for Arnav. I know he must be feeling so low, just now. He's probably gone back to the dressing room and have his head dipped in his hands, dejected.
Oh I wish – I could just be there with him right now.
Oh wait – Guys.
I think it's on me to freaking make – my Wish Happen.
I look at the clock on the Wall.
Its 11: 15 PM. What if, I actually think this for real. As in,If I get into a Cab soon, I will be able to make it to Manchester by 3am maybe, since the driving distance from here is just about 3 hours 30 minutes. My practice for tomorrow only starts by around 10 am, which means that I have to leave Manchester by like what 6am to make It back here in time...but at the least I will get to see him for a couple of hours?
I am right on that thought as I hear Sheena di say now, whose got her head dipped into her phone as well and she says – " oh my god...its just been a minute since ASR lost his wicket and people are going really hard on him online...saying things like – we all know that your drives are your strength ASR...why didn't you stick to firing a four, instead of going for a Sixer..."
I ask, worry gripping my insides – " whattt?? Really? already??? Can no one see that he made a freaking 98 runs, in such a crucial situation??"
Sheena di sighs – " nope...not yet...someone's commenting – You suck at Sixes, Skipper ASR. If we lose this, you better step down from Captaincy, such a freaking Loser you are...you just freaking lost us the World Cup with your carelessness..."
HOLY HELL YA.
GUYS.
I AM SERIOUS ABOUT THIS.
WHAT IF I CAB IT TO MANCHESTER RIGHT NOW?
IT IS GOING TO BE SAFE RIGHT?
I hear Sheena di sigh now – " oh dammit...I am going to put this phone away, I mean just on the previous four he fired, people were showering heaps of praises and in the very next moment..they are bashing him up, left right and center..some have even just started to questioning his Captaincy.."
I sigh as I lean back my head and I look at her – " but why would anyone even question his Captaincy...he's a brilliant Skipper...leading the team through so wonderfully..."
Sheena di sighs – " we all know that Khushi...but the public doesn't not understand anything else when it comes down to gaming sentiments....they forget everything a sportsperson has done prior...cmon lets watch the last two overs Khushi...lets just hope Cap and Singh chase this through..."
I nod at her nervously right then as the ad finishes and its Singh on the Strike with Cap on the other end and Sheena di says now – " okkk, I think Singh should just take a single and give the strike to Cap..."
I nod – my head seriously thinking about the plan of going to Manchester in the middle of the night.And just as I am lost in that thought I hear Sheena di jamm the pause button on my screen as she says dejected – " no no no..singh...you shouldn't have made a way for the double...it was a Single...he's run out....now.."
I look back at the screen as I feel my insides crash – " wait what? whose run out? I hope not Cap??"
Sheena di groans – " no, not Cap...singh..but that means we lose another wicket...also we need 30 runs in 11 balls..and its bedi coming out on the crease....in such a high pressure situation...and he will be facing the next ball and not Cap...khushi..lets watch on mute ok? I am not interested to hear what the commentators are saying now..."
I nod – "nor am i..di..lets watch on mute..."
We see Bedi take in take in a quick single next and he gives Cap the strike and we need 29 runs in 10 balls now.
All Hopes on Cap.
And right then as the next killer off cutter gets bowled we see Cap hit it out to mid on and run for the double hard, but the fielder's flashes the ball straight back towards the stumps, in a fraction of a second and it hits the Stumps directly just as Cap bends forwds and dives to get in his bat at the Creaseeeee, and NZ calls and celebrates for Cap's Run Out.
No.
No
Oh No!
I look at Sheena di in anticipation now as I ask – " di..he's surely made it to the crease??"
Sheena di sighs – " I hope so too..lets wait for them to roll in up on the screen..."
I nod and we both see with worry consuming our hearts as we spot that Cap's bat was just about 10 millimetres away from the line – which means that he is RUN OUT.
9 balls – 28 runs needed and Cap is Gone. He's walking off the feield dejected and we can obviously see the Stunned faces of the crowd in the ground, and even the more stunned and wprried face of Sachi Maam is now being blown up on screen. I can also Spot, Akash, payal, Samaira, Noor – talking to her now as Samairas laced her hand around her shoulder, in a comforting hug and Sachi maam wipes a tear outta the corner of her eye.
I am fighting back my tears too – as the Vision of Arnav dejected in the dressing room, continues to rotate in front of my eyes. He's not his way out to the dug out or the players stand to see the rest of the innings too.
212/6 – in 48.3 overs.
Only a Miracle can take us Across the Line – since their ace death bowlers are the one's who will be bowling out the 9 deliveries to our Bowlers- in such a high pressure gaming moment.
And from my little gaming experience that I have – I do know that sometimes in our game of cricket, in last minute moments – Miracles Do Happen.
And Sometime's they Don't.
Sheena di groans now as she says – " ok , another one down...Ravi's clean bowled after a double in that second last over....thats it...we are done...214/ 7 and we need 26 runs off the last 6 balls...the game's almost over Khushi...we'v lost our the Semi's.."
I sigh as I nod at her, my Heart going out to Arnav and the rest of the men in blue unit, as I whisper – " yup...I guess we have..."
I hear My Mind say out to me now.OK THAT'S IT, K. We are FREAKING GOING TO MANCHESTER – RIGHT NOW.DECISION'S MADE.
My heart whispers sighing – Oh yes, K. I agree with the Mind. I need to see Arnav tonight, as well. We promised him that we will definitely be with him in his Lows, and he is surely feeling all low right now. We need to get into the Cab, as soon as possible - K.
My Mind says sighing. Also please note, K, even though both the mind and me are totally in this together, and acting out of impulse, its better for me to give you a heads up that - Chances are that Arnav is going to be really mad at you, for taking the cab alone to Manchester in the middle of the night though. It's a foreign country after all.You know how possessive he is about you and more so about your safety.
I close my eyes at that as I Sigh to my insides. I know, he will be mad at me for this,but I need to see him, nonetheless. I can handle him being mad at me , but I can't handle the fact that I wont be there for him. Like I am so Near, right? just hours away from his reach? Why must I not act on the impulse of my emotions? I want to be there with him – tonight.He's always been there for me.
I clutch onto my Heart as my eyes fall into the equation flashing up on screen – India needs 20 runs needed in 3 balls. Which means we have officialy Lost. For 3 sixes also would only give us 18.
WE ARE OUT OF THE WORLD CUP RACE.
NZ team has started on with their pre-celebrations in making it to the World Cup – finals now.
And I can only Imagine the dejected scene in the Men in Blue Dressing Room.
That's It.
Decision's been Made.
I NEED TO SEE ARNAV – TONIGHT – even if it is just for a couple of hours in between 3am – 6 am.
And I am Most Surely Going to.
.......................................
AT THE OLD TRAFFORD CRICKET STADIUM – 1130 PM
ARNAV'S POV
I did have a little time out with just myself in the dressing room, trying to wade my way through my Head, after I lost my wicket the way I did, in the most crucial moment of the match. I was beyond just Disappointed – obviously. Devasted would be the better word perhaps to just depict what I was feeling then, in my gaming emotions, which was the reason why I did not step out into the dug-out or the players stand area to see the rest of the Game, along with the rest of the Boys.
I just had to be Alone.
Even though I have years of experience out on the field, its only natural for my gaming emotions to take over momentarily in the moments of time.And,as I kept getting the news off Wickets falling through our support team, I knew it in my gut – that we were heading to a Loss, because I had obviously seen the Surface. It was getting close to impossible to just fire up on that slower surface, which is why I did try my best to compose my way through my devastation as a team player and Skipper both, because I know that I am obviously going to have to talk at the post match presentation. And the minute I got the news of Cap's run out, from one of our support teams members – I knew that the game was as good as Over.
We had Lost.
We were knocked out, off the World Cup.
It was also right then that Rohan and Shiv had walked back into the dressing area, dejected and disappointed as they sat on either of my sides in a stunned Silence.
As Captain, I knew exactly what they were going through as well for getting out early, and that is why it was on me to remind them to not go onto the Guilt Mode. I had to talk to the Unit first, and instill a atmosphere of calm, even if it was a dejected and disappointed Calm.(There was going to be time, to handle my personal devastation – later)
I have always believed that, a Dejected Calm was always way better than a Hyper- selfcritical mode. It helped one reach to that point of constructive analysis faster. And we obviously had a lot to learn from this – Loss as well.And so that is what I had done, as Skipper – as the team walked in after the loss, I had talked to the team to just focus on calmly embracing the responsibility of this loss, in our heads rather than just going to self cricitcal of What – If – analysis.
What was done was Done.
We couldn't change the Result and now we just had to embrace and move On.Also as a unit, we were obviously aware that there were going to be Consequences after the loss in the World Cup semi's , amidst our fans back in India.Anyway, luckily – my talk with everyone did help instil a calmer atmosphere in the dressing room, and it was minutes later, I knew I had to make my way back to the ground to get on with the post-match presentation.
Which is where, I am walking too, and as I am about to take the stand in the presentation area, my eyes do fall on the blown up screen where they'v been projecting the images out of the Family Box. The concern on each of our near and dear ones faces – is obviously readable.
I bite back a dejected sigh as I give a polite nod to the Presenter now, gesturing him to go with his question in the post-match presentation, and he asks now – " ASR, you are disappointed surely. Its been a wonderful tournament for India, and to get knocked out in the semi's, in the way you did tonight...obviously hurts...
I nod sincerely as I say, readjusting my cap on my Head – " oh yes, it Hurts...we are obviously disappointed, as a unit. It's been a wonderful tournament for us, uptil this point nonetheless..a lot of positive takeaways, and lot of learnings, which is what we are going to keep pur focus now, its going to help in digesting the gaming disappointment..."
The presenter – "and at one point, you were at 98..and Dev was at 72...with the two of you there..India had hopes..you were still very much in the game...I think, it turned to NZ's favour with your wicket.."
I nod as I say – " well yes...that's surely one of the turning points in NZ favour...and on a lighter note, I do think I am going to have that Catch out to come haunt me in my sleeps for a couple of days..."
The presenter smiles , encouragingly – " but nonetheless you and Dev played some beautiful cricket tonight...that solid partnership from the two of you was what kept India alive...otherwise at one point, we all thought India is 40/4 in 5 overs...the games going to NZ...but kudos to you two..for taking it deeper into the 48th over.."
I say sincerely now – " to be honest, in our game or be it in any sport for that matter, it is like that you know – in the gaming momentum one often feels like you are surfing on this High Tide ...there's going to be the High bit, and there's going to be the low bit too and one side's going to lose and ones going to win and today was just not the perfect day for us at the Office...we were happy with restricting them to the total that we did, and were hoping to chase it down...but we couldn't, and I do have to commend the Kiwi's for their brilliant performance out there in the field today...they are a world class side, and played the better game of cricket today.."
The presenter – " and are you disappointed with the way the Top order, fell today? In the high pressure game??"
I shake my head , standing up for my team – " not really....shiv, rohan and Yuvaan...they'v been brilliant in the tournament...for us, and you have Rohan still in the lead for that Top run scorer of the tournament that itself is the testimony of the fact that he's played magnificent cricket...Shiv as well is in the top 5 run scorers list...on no 4..yuvaan's been brilliant as well...like I said, today was just one of those days that a couple of shots misfired for us...it was obviously a high pressure game and the loss obviously hurts, but I think it will be unfair to say that I am disappointed in the top order...because of one game, cannot really forego the effort and the consistent contributions in the rest of the tournament, prior to the game..."
The presnter smiles now– " and you are obviously always backing your team up, ASR, as skipper...the morale boost is obviously priority.."
I nod and I say – " it surely is...look we are not shying away from shouldering the responsibility of the Loss...we are obviously disappointed, but at the end of the day, we gotta learn from our errors and adapt and embrace and move on and continue playing good cricket...all the countries playing out in the World Cup, have excellent players in their sides, we gotta accept that there's going to be losses here and there...some losses just hurt you for longer..that's all...but we cannot harbour the hurt to the extent of it tampering our gaming spirit...nonetheless...and like I said before, kudos...to the Black Cap's for being the better side today.."
The presenter smiles – " always very gracious in defeat as well ASR, just like you are in Victory...almost reminds me of the time when I used to talk to Dev..your ex skipper..that run out is surely going to haunt him as well..."
I nod as I say – " he's my Captain..i'v learnt a lot from him...I still am learning so much each day, and he surely wasn't happy after that run out...but if theres another thing that we'v learnt over the years playing cricket is that the- What if Mode, doesn't really help much...what if I could have done this, what If that...you gotta embrace the losses as sportingly as you embrace a win...surely...and learn from it and come back stronger..."
The presenter smiles – " thank you so much ASR, we wish you and team India, all the best for the rest of what you have scheduled in your gaming calendar this year..."
I thank him politely, and make my way out the ground, shaking hands with the NZ skipper again, whose a amiable acquaintance and he says, patting my arm – "it was a good game of Cricket nonetheless ASR..."
I nod at him and smile politely- " it truly was.."and we go onto talk a couple of seconds more, until he is called on for a talk and I also congratulate some of the NZ teammates huddled up on the ground, for their victory, graciously before making my way back towards my Dug Out.
Its almost 1140 PM now.
And I just can't wait to switch on my phone. I am sure, there are going to be calls back from Home, Anjali, as well, for she isn't in the family box.I am sure I am going to have a lot of texts awaiting from my Sparkle – as well.
I obviously want to just talk to her, and discuss out my personal disappointment, for I know she will understand.
As I near the dug out, I see Cap walking upto me now as he says patting my arm – " well, the presenter was right about the fact that the run out is going to haunt me, for a long long time...cmon in Arnav...Akash, payal, Noor, samaira, sachi..they are all in, near the dressing room area..."
I ask patting his arm calmly – " it's ok Cap...we gotta move on now, and we will..."
Cap nods and pats my arm – " we will..."
And as we make our way in, I see cap walk over to talk to Sachi maan, and Rohan is talking to Samaira In the side as well, as she is rubbing on his arm supportingly, along with Payal rubbing on another. He's still probably being too hard on himself for getting out early tonight. Noor's talking to Ravi too – as he's leaning against the wall with his shoulders dejected. Akash, comes on and hugs me immediately as he asks – " bhai...are you ok??"
I hug him back – " yes I am ok, Akash...as in I will be..in sometime...need to just sleep it over tonight..i guess...its all part and parcel of the game obviously...its just natural to be disappointed for a while, though....we came so close, and yet couldn't make it..."
Akash pulls back now and pats my shoulder – " I know bhai...but please know, that we are all so proud of the you and the unit nonetheless...also dad, mom and dadi want to talk to you as soon as possible...anjali just texted me that she is rushing to the Hotel as well and will catch up with you there...she's asked me to make sure that you are at least feeling a tad bit better, before you reach the hotel..."
I ask – " everyone back at home is awake? Its so late now in India, akash...c'mon I will just talk to them first..so that they can sleep soon..."
Akash nods and starts to ring back home now, and its right then I see Noor and ravi walking up to us worriedly now and I ask, looking at Noor's expression – " your expression tells me theres a massive trolling storm up online for us all? Isn't it? "
Noor nods dejected as she says – " oh right...massive would be an understand.."
I ask, patting Ravi's arm , holding onto my Calm– " and how many of them are saying that I must step down from Captaincy after this world Cup loss??"
Noor asks her eyes widening – " you anticipated??"
I nod with a sigh – " obviously Noor...there are two sides of being the Captain of the Indian Cricket Team, always...I am not shying away from shouldering up the responsibility of the loss or the other side of the coin, can't really pick and choose now can we...gotta accept a package as what it is...I'v anticipated this and much more, in my head already..so that it doesn't put me into shock..i gotta be prepared for this and I am.."
Ravi sighs – " also, Coach sir did mention that he's arranged for the press conference tomorrow morning...he said he wants us all to just sleep it over tonight, without talking out to the media...the storm is massive up online..he's in the dressing room, advising the boys to not look up online...especially...no point..right..its just going to play with the head.."
I nod – " good......my point exactly.."
Ravi says –"also coach sir did get a call from the officials at the BCCI – they are suggesting that we head back to India day after Arnav, ie on Friday...for we anyway were short on time for preprations for the tour to west indies, we are scheduled to leave on 28th..so if we reach back by the end of Friday, we can all just take the weekend off to just recoup and then dive into preprations for the next tour, from Monday..."
Ok. This Officially comes as another Bouncer to Me.
Because I was obviously waiting for the weekend to arrive in anticipation- so that I could meet My Sparkle.
Godaamit.
Noor sighs now as she flings her phone back in her pocket – " godaammit...I think I need to follow Coach sir's advice...I am not going up online on Social media, right now...uff the negativity, and the hate, and the trolls...for you all...its insane...like no one remembers that you all won 7 games out of 9 in the group stages in the tournament.."
Ravi shrugs his shoulders as he laces his arm around Noor – " ofcourse no one remembers sweetheart...it's the losses that everyone always remembers...we are used to it...don't worry..."
I say to Noor now patting her arm – " the Tides of Sport, rise high and sometimes Low as well, Noor...gotta face it up...and we will..."and it is right then that Akash walks back to us gesturing his phone out to me – " bhai...so I was just reassuring, Mom, Dad and dadi that you aren't like that low and are holding up well...but ofcourse they want to talk to you..."
I take the phone from his hand now, and I put it to my ear as I hear my parents and grandmother's voice come out in a concerned unison – " Arnav...you ok beta???"
Before I could even say anything Dad's concerned voice comes up, driping in pride still – " that knock from you my son...98 runs...one of your best knocks ever..and that too at such a crucial time my boy...I am proud of you..no matter what the result..."
Mom – " oh we all are proud of him Abhi...arnav...please don't you go up online ok?? just don't...ok? just ignore the crictics and trolls, alright?"
Dadi's worried voice – " yes, please do that..also I don't even understand what this online troll business is about , abhi and reva.."
How could I not feel my heart bask in the Warmth of their Support right now??
I hug Akash to my side as I start to reassure my parents and grandmother that they didn't have much to be worried about, for just like I have faced so many high's as India's Skipper, I was going to embrace – this Low Tide, too.
.................................................................................
Hilton Grand - Manchester
90 minutes later – in the Hotel Room
ARNAV'S POV Continues.
Guys.
I am freaking Out, on a level – I can't freaking express.
And please note – that this Freaking out bit has nothing to do with our loss tonight.
Infact it's got everything to do with the fact that - I have not been able to get in touch with My Sparkle, ever since I switched on my Phone in the dressing room at around 1150 PM, after talking to Mom, Dad, Dadi and briefly getting on a call with Anjali as well, through Akash's phone.
As in, ofcourse I had like a string of text messgaes waiting from her as always, and the last couple of them completely heartwarming and supportive as well, after our Loss tonight – and just reading them in that moment of time, instantly made me feel so much more better within, on the personal front. The last couple of her messages came to me, as I finished with the post match presentation, which basically means she was online on Whatsapp till about 11:43PM, which is also her last seen.
That is why I am still Freaking out. Because I have left her a string of texts after – and nor the double ticks of message delivered have come up, till now. At first, whilst I was in the dressing room, I thought she'd still be with Sheena, as she was watching the match with her, and so I didn't call her then and just waited for the texts to go through, thinking maybe her signal reception was weak or the Internet Wifi connection at the accommodation was having some issues.(These two issues have been spurting up on and off anyway, in their accommodation at Taunton)
But when the texts didn't go through - until the time I sat on the team bus alongside everyone, I felt this insane amount of worry consume me, as I felt my thoughts go all haywire on a zillion different directions, which was why I messaged Jess, to check with Sheena about Khushi's whereabouts and Jess did tell me, that she had spoken to Khushi at around 1120PM only, just after our loss and everything, and she was with Sheena at that time – so I had nothing to worry about.
That had given me some relief, as I waited with bated Breath's for Jess's text back to me, after talking to Sheena.But she replied with : SB, sheena di's, phone is unreachable...maybe she slept off or something as in I do know she puts her phone on flight mode every night before sleeping, and strangely Khushi's phone is unreachable too...which never really happens. So I guess either they are together and the signal reception in their accommodation sucks as usual, you would know...or maybe Khushi probably dozed off as well, whilst waiting for your text maybe, as in you do know they had a hectic training day today and have one tomorrow as well, right? Please don't worry, I am sure the minute her eyes will open from her slumber she will text you. I could sense by her voice when I spoke to her that she was dying to talk to you.
That was when I had instructed my insides to just calm down a little in worry , as I spent the rest of the bus ride back to the Hotel – just re-reading all of my Sparkle's text sent to me until 11:43 PM.
But at the back of my Head – it just felt weird to think that Khushi would have dozed off whilst awaiting for me message.Because in her last message to me, she did text me saying that she is waiting for my text eagerly.And that is why – after spending sometime with everyone on arrival in the lobby, I did excuse myself to get to the side to just try calling Khushi.
Tried Freaking Ten Times.
But the call did not go through.
Her phone continued to come unavailable.
And it was right then that everyone just decided to spend sometime in the rooms, by themselves to wade their way through the emotions of the loss, and spend sometime with all the friends and family in private who had come out in our support.
Akash, obviously came up to my room, to be with me and five minutes later, Anjali and Rahul joint him and just to have them around me did distract me from the worry with regards to not being able to connect to my Sparkle for a while, because as I cryptically asked Rahul about how Khushi's training was coming along for the Kia Super League – he did tell me that all was going great for her, and infact he had just spoken to her after the match as finished as well at around 1125 PM as well and she was with Sheena at that time as well and when he did tell her to drop me a text in support – she did tell him that she would obviously do the needful.
Anjali and Rahul just left, five minutes ago – for they are staying at a different hotel nearby and we have all planned to catch up for breakfast at their hotel, before they head back to Nottingham, later tomorrow.
I see Akash step out the washroom of my room now and he looks at me pacing around my room in a state of Freaked out Worry and he asks – " bhai...whats wrong?? You seem disturbed to another level right now...please don't tell me you went up online and saw all those trolls..."
I sigh as I pause in my pacing looking at him – " no akash...I didn't do that...I mean even if I have to look up online, I will do so tomorrow, when I am in the better state of mind to not let it play with my head...I am super worried right now, because I haven't been able to get in touch with her..."
Akash takes his seat on the sofa in front of me – " you mean your secretive someone?"
I nod as I say – " yes Akash...as in I do have like these strings of messages from her until about 1143PM...and she did say she was waiting for my message...but none o fmy messages from 1151PM have gone through to her...also her phone is coming unavailable..."
Akash smiles as he says – "bhai...its 1am here...as in almost 530 am in india...she must have fallen asleep while waiting, only obvious..."
I say, now sitting on the bed, trying to calm down my nerves – " yeah could be...she did have a long day..a very physically draining one as well...i am aware...obviously.."
Akash gets up and pats my shoulder and he says now with a warm smile – " ok bhai...look, I know you want to talk to her and everything, but look youv had a long day as well ok?and not just a physically draining one ok? you need to sleep and rest as well...you have the press conference as well tomorrow morning..at 11 am...the rest will obviously help you fell much more composed in your head..and I am sure, she will call you, the minute she sees your texts and everything..."and he pauses and I see a frown go through his head and I ask now – " what? whats that frown about?"
Akash sighs and asks – "bhai..you are sure she feels something for you right?? as in she is genuine right? what if she was only with you because of who you are..as in the fame and everything of being the captain of the Indian cricket team...and with this loss in the world cup tonight...look all I mean to say is – you don't think, that she has ghosted out on you or something?? I mean the storm up online after the loss, for the entire team and especially you has been an obvious scene of fire..."
I gape at Akash in bewilderment as I say – " Akash, why would you even suggest such a theory?? And I have full faith that she is genuine, alright...I am sure she is in love with me, just like I am in love with her..we just haven't voiced it yet..that's all.."
Oh brother – if only I could tell you, who my secretive someone is – right now.
Akash sighs and says – " bhai don't get me wrong alright...its just that you wont tell me who she is...so I am obviously worried that what if she ends up, hurting you...I know you are dead serious about her...like in Pia's case I obviously knew you weren't that disturbed because you werent deep in emotionally...but in her case...I just know you are..hence the worry...I don't want you to be hurt obviously..."
I nod at him – " I understand Akash...I understand where you are coming from..."and I take a deep breathe as I say – " I think, I am just going to try to get some sleep now, hoping that she's just slept off...I am sure she will call, the minute she can.."
Akash nods and smiles and says – " I hope she does.."and we share a warm brotherly hug before he takes his leave.
And as I close the door shut – I walk back to my bed, feeling a level of exhaustion take over me – which makes me just plonk on the bed straight as I pick up my phone to re- read the last three messages that My Sparkle has left me on Whatsapp.
Khushi's text to me at 11 : 30 PM : Know what Arnav...when I didn't see you coming out to the dug outs or the player area, after your wicket – I could imagine the vision off you sitting disappointed by yourself, in the dressing room. My Heart's obviously going out to you. I understand your angst with regards to the game tonight, obviously. I could read the pain in your eyes as you walked off the field. And know what? when you were about to walk with your head bowed down, I sent you a silent reminder of the promise you made to me, long ago that you will never walk off the field with your head down – ever. And when you didn't do that, it just felt like – maybe you remembered my promise in the moment maybe? I am so proud of you My Stranger...irrespective of the result, please know...that your grit tonight was commendable nonetheless....that knock from of you of 98 runs, was truly a Captain's knock....okkk I am returning my attention to the screen thike...coz guess what..i spot my stranger walking up on the field now. Sheena di, obviously also wants to hear you talk.....waiting for your messageeeeee...Arnav..jaldi se message me thike.....(heartssssssss)
Ofcourse, I remembered your Promise – Sparkle. Which is why – I made sure, I didn't walk off the field with my Head Down. I knew you were watching. It was going to hurt you – if I did, no matter what the situation.
My eyes fall onto her next text.
Khushi's text to me at 1137 PM : okkkk....Skipper Blue...that from you was like officially the most graceful one on one interview as the losing Captain in the world Cup Semi's...I mean I can obviously see the pain in your eyes that your trying to mask to the world, and we will obviously talk about it the minute you are freee and switch on your phone...but...until then what I want to say is – You are a Freaking Rockstar Dammit. (hearts)Areeee...main duniya ko bolti hun...yeh games or world cup toh sab jeet lete hai...dil jitna toh koi hamare ASR se sikhe(Hearts)(Eng translation of the last bit: aree...I will be the one to tell the world...that these games and World Cups anyone can win...how to win a heart is what our ASR Is an expert in, and everyone must learn from him...hearts)
Godammit.
I feel my heart swell with a similar overhwelming emotion – that I felt when I first read this bit.
My eyes fall on the last text message she left me at 1143 PM : okkkkk...soooo my Skipper Blue, I totally can see you on screen talking to Cap now, as you are heading back in...which means you are about to switch on your phone...like Yippppeeeeeeeeeeee to that....i can't freaking wait to talk to you..text you....jaldi jaldi text thike???????? Like jaldi * infinity thike? I am waiting na.......intehaaaa hogayi intezaar ki...aayi na kuch khabar mere yaar ki....hehe...wink wink...acha please tell me you smiled a little as you read that bit?? I know you just did...bingo that...dang dang disco disco – that's exactky what I wanted to do, to make you smile. Mission Accomplaished. Acha...now you text jaldi na baba...or I will have to start on a antakshri with myself only, in your Intezaar....(hearts)
I can't help but chuckle as I read that bit again, as my hand extends out on its own accord to my phone screen as I brush my hand over it, as the shreds of Longing Tug my Heart.
I close My eyes.
Godaammit – Sparkle.
Where are you?
Where are You Dammittttt????????????????????????
....................................
TADAAAAA!!!!!
How was the Update Guysssss?? (wink winkkkkk.....)
Also No shoes at me for stopping there ya guys..its been ages that I stopped at a Cliffhanger. (And yes don't worry...itna spoiler alert I am giving – that Khushi is Safe – for Sureee).
Let me know what you guys think as always, you all know I love reading your feedback and comments.
Next Update : Shall now be in two days as I gave these two updates for this week, like back to Back. I will surely put it up the minute I finish writing it. I am targeting Thursday evening
Also guys – Please do check out this wonderful Initiative – The Arshi Community – which has been started with the aim of getting all of us to connect/bond/ with one another – as most of us share the common love for Arnav/Khushi. The community is really gearing up, and is a very positive, supportive and collaborative space for us all Arshi lovers, be it readers or writers. Do take a minute to check it out on the following link.
Thanks, guys, for all the Love and Support.
Much Love Guys.
Always.
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