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Chapter 10: Where The Actual F*ck Am I


My brain was on fire, desperately crying out for me to extinguish it by pounding itself against my forehead. Never in my life have I had such a bad headache.

I took a deep breath as I massaged my forehead, in a desperate attempt to make the intense throbbing go away. I pinched the bridge of my nose as I slowly sat up in the bed and opened my eyes, only be met by a white-painted door and not the cage of my favorite bird.

My eyes widened as I searched the room, in an attempt to find anything that seemed familiar. But instead of finding anything familiar, I was only hit with another round of painful throbbing and nausea.

Where the actual fuck am I? The question kept on floating through my mind as I desperately tried to recall the events of the night before, but seeing as I've always had such great memory, that was of no use.

The only thing my mind was willing to tell me was where I had fallen asleep. But with that came yet another question, how did I get from an uncomfortable, cold bench to a nice and cozy double bed?

I quickly lifted up the duvet that laid over me to check if my pants were still on, and fortunately for me, they were. On the other hand, I was still not wearing a shirt, but at least I didn't freeze to death, right?

I slowly attempted to get up from the bed as a storm was raging through my head and my stomach was wishing to meet up with my mouth. I carefully treaded across the hardwood floor, treating myself like a bomb that could explode at any second if I so much as took a wrong step.

It took some time, but I eventually made it to one of the windows. I pulled aside the curtains and was immediately greeted by the morning sun, which was very eager to make contact with my eyes. I flinched as I was left temporarily blinded by the sun. I pinched my nose tightly as my headache got even worse than before. Great.

After I had gotten used to the blinding sun, I realized it was time for me to leave.

I squinted as I looked out the window, trying to see how far up I was. It didn't take me long to realize that I was in the second story of some stranger's house. Luckily for me, there was roof right under my window, therefore all I had to do was climb out and find a way to get off without breaking my ankles.

I opened the window slowly, trying my best not to make any noise, right before I was hit by the chilly January air that streamed in. Shivers shot down my spine as goosebumps appeared all over.

Thor, how I wish I had a shirt right now. I clenched my teeth together as I stepped out on the roof, which was ice cold might I add, seeing as my shoes were nowhere to be found.

Wait, what if I ended up being abducted by a shoe worshipping cult? I had no intention of finding out which cult had gotten to me, therefore I tried my best to close the window silently before tiptoeing my way over to the edge of the roof.

I peeked down over the edge and was met by the sight of a hard concrete driveway that would definitely break my ankles if I jumped. I frantically searched around for a way down as I noticed a drain spout on the side of the house.

I made my way over to the drain spout and touched it, it was freezing. I took a deep breath as I tried to remind myself what could happen to me if I stayed with the shoe cult.

I wrapped my arms and legs around the drain spout, pressing my chest against it, sending yet another batch of shivers down my spine. Just as I was about to slide down the drain spout, I was interrupted.

"Astrid?" I shut my eyes together as I recognized the voice, feeling the headache from earlier making yet another comeback. This guy had got to be stalking me.

"Yes, Hiccup?" I said, the annoyance very clear in my voice as I glared into the wall in front of me.

He let out a chuckle as he watched me, hands in his pockets as he rocked back and forth on his heels. "Can I ask why you're clinging to my drain spout?"

Of course it had to be his drain spout, of course it had to be his house! It was like there was someone out there who really wanted us to cross paths constantly.

I took another deep breath as I got off the drain spout and positioned myself on the edge of the roof, ready to hit him another sarcastic comment as I rested my hands upon my hips.

Unfortunately for me, that was not what happened. Instead of doing what I had intended to, I managed to trip over a roof tile and fall off the roof. I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing myself for the impact the hard concrete was about to bring upon my derrière.

But to my surprise, I was wrong, yet again. I opened my eyes and was met by those gorgeous emerald green ones I had gotten myself lost in just the other day. How my fall hadn't broken off Hiccup's arms, I had no clue, and unfortunately for me, there was no way to mask the surprised expression that had taken residence on my face.

Hiccup let out a chuckle, indicating that he had taken notice of my expression.

How do I manage to get myself into these kinds of situations all of the time? Why was my life slowly but surely turning into a crappy romantic comedy?

A smile tugged at Hiccup's lips, as if he had read my thoughts and found them amusing. But if that was so, what was going through his head at that moment? Was he thinking that I should pursue a career as a comedian? Did I deserve my own late night talk show? Should I host Saturday Night Live?

My thoughts were interrupted by Hiccup clearing his throat. He gently placed me on the ground before scratching the back of his head, in typical Hiccup style. "Want to come in? I made waffles and cocoa"

Another draft of wind blew past us, telling me that I definitely should say yes to his offer. I nodded in response before following him inside.

Upon making it through the front door, Hiccup handed me a red flannel shirt that reminded me a lot about the one I had worn when Eret picket me up last night. I put it on and ate breakfast with Hiccup, and let me tell you one thing, Hiccup Haddock was an amazing cook.

"So..." I begun, but was quickly cut off by Hiccup.

"You want to know how you ended up here?" Alright, I had got to be really predictable because there was no way that Hiccup was actually a mind reader, right?

I nodded at him as I put down the empty cup I had hot cocoa in seconds earlier.

"I had been working pretty late last night with our presentation. Eventually I stumbled across a major writer's block, so I decided to take a walk to clear my head. I took the same route I usually take when I walk Toothless, and that's when I found you on the park bench we had been sitting on the other day. There was no telling how long you'd been out there, so I wrapped you in my jacket and brought you here, seeing as there probably was a good reason to why you weren't at home"

Guilt washed over me as I remembered that I had thought of him as a stalker, not even an hour ago, when he in reality was probably the most genuine and greatest guy I'd ever met. There aren't many people in this world who would do what he did for me without having cruel intentions.

I smiled as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into a hug. "Thank you, I don't know if I can ever repay you"

After getting over the shock of me hugging him, Hiccup wrapped his arms around me as well. My cheeks were prickling as they met his, causing a comforting warmth to spread all through my body. Then all of a sudden, 'click!', we somehow managed to slip into just the right position, making me feel like we were to pieces of a puzzle that had finally been put together.

In that moment, there was nothing on this earth that I wanted to do other than to hold him close. His smell, his soft skin, his warm touch, it all just felt so right.

I glanced up at the picture that hung on the wall behind Hiccup. On it were a man and a woman, arms wrapped around each other with the biggest smiles that I had ever seen on anyone. I recognized the male as Mayor Haddock, the woman opposite of him must've been his wife and most likely Hiccup's mother. From what I could see in the picture, she looked like a very kind lady.

"Is that your mother?" I asked Hiccup as I pulled away from him, keeping my gaze on the picture.

Hiccup turned around, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he studied the picture. "Yeah, that's her"

The sound of paws against the wood floor neared us at an incredible speed, and in a matter of seconds, a familiar black Labrador ran into the kitchen, positioning himself right beside Hiccup.

I smiled at the two of them as Toothless cuddled up against his leg. It was a cute moment indeed, but for some reason I just couldn't help but notice how stiff Hiccup's leg seemed, like it was made of plastic or something.

I brushed the leg thing off, turning my attention back to the picture of Hiccup's parents. I studied his mother and noticed that Hiccup took a lot after her, but there were of course some traits from his father in there. His auburn hair for example, that was something he must've gotten from his mother, though I'm sure that if I'd actually met her, I would be able to point out even more similarities between the two of them.

"She seems nice" I pointed out. "How come I haven't met her?"

Suddenly, Hiccup froze. He was still facing away from me, hiding his expression, but there was something telling me that I shouldn't have asked that.

Then realization hit me like a stampede.  "Oh no... I'm really sorry Hiccup, I shouldn't have—"

"It's alright" His voice deeper and more rough than usual. "You couldn't have known"

That's all I needed to hear to confirm my theory, that his mother was in fact, dead. I placed my hand on his tense shoulder, trying my best to tell him that I was here for him.

He didn't respond in any way, it just seemed as if he had just... disappeared. As if his conscience had been sent to a dark place where no one could reach him.

Toothless sat silently beside him, his head in Hiccup's lap, a sad look on his face.

"I'm so sorry Hiccup, I really am" I began, giving his shoulder a light squeeze before resting my head against his back as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

We sat in that position for a short while, before I realized that I had probably overstayed my welcome. "I think it's time I go home"

Still no response. I furrowed my brows at him before silently making my way out of the house. As I walked home, I couldn't help but think about the decision I had just made. He seemed as if he had been in a really dark place, and I just left him there, all alone.

My gut felt like it was doing advanced acrobatics. I should've stayed. What if something happened? What if he did something stupid? Gods, I would never forgive myself.

By the time I had made the decision that I should turn around and walk back to him, I was met by the familiar sight of my house.

Hiccup didn't really need me, did he? He probably didn't want me there either. As my thoughts fought over whether I should stay or go, I was cut off by another familiar voice.

"Astrid, can I ask why you're just standing in the driveway?" My mother asked me as she leaned out the kitchen window.

My attention was immediately drawn to her, breaking up the raging battle that had been going on in my mind. "Huh?"

She sighed as she slowly shook her head. "I was wondering why you're just standing in the driveway instead of coming inside"

Fortunately for me, it seemed as if she had no clue that I had been to a party or that I had slept over at Hiccup's.

"Oh yeah, Eret just dropped me off, you know, since I slept over at his place" I lied.

She raised her brows, telling me that she didn't believe me 100%. "Weird, I didn't even hear him pull up"

I felt droplets of sweat gather at my hairline. It was awfully hot to be January! "Eret dropped me off in front of the Larsons, seeing as we didn't know if you guys were awake yet"

She narrowed her eyes at me for a second before rendering her interrogation useless. "As long as the two of you had fun"

I let out a nervous chuckle. "Yup, a lot of fun. Very fun"

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