Hamilton x Jefferson x Napolean the son

"Hey, Hammy" Jefferson lifted a sexy, gray eyebrow, as the dashingly young politican entered his office.

"Jeff, there is something we must discuss!" Hamilton exclaimed, urgently shifting through the mess of papers of Jefferson's desk.

"It better not be about your dumb bank plan, you adorable imbecile," teased the old man, rustling Hammy's suave hair.

"JEFF! This is serious! - Remember that Louisiana Territory you bought from the French?"

"RELAX, Hammy, it's all cool now. The Louisiana Purchase is a sign that our Napolean, is starting to get over that awful hormonal phase!"

"NO, NO, NO! Jeff, there have been reports of sexy vampires in the Western territory!"

"THIS CANNOT BE!!" grimaced the old man J. T.

"You told me that there would be no more of our kind in the new world ... and yet, here they are... once again you have been played like a pawn into the hands of your own son" Hamilton jabbed a letter opener into Jefferson's wooden desk before leaving the scene in a fit of rage.

After the door slammed violently, Jefferson sat at his desk, smiling lovingly at the letter opener, muttering, "That flipping Federalist"

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AMENDMENT XXX666XXX:

I HATH HERE BY DECLARETH THAT FROM THIS DAY FORWARDTH ALL VAMPIRES ARE NOT ALLOWETH TO HOLDETH RESIDENCETH IN THE UNITEDTH STATES OF AMERICA

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"Jeff, you are such a clever writer, I could have never written such a document as the one you have just produced before us!" admired Alexander, as he worked on his masterful signature.

"That I am, Hammy, that I am" declared Jefferson, dramatically looking into the distance.

SUDDENLY, THE WEREWOLF BROKE IN, tearing off his shirt and and revealing a hairy 8-pack of abs.

After pinning the two politicians to the wall, he said, "HI! MY NAME IS YACOB SEBASTIAN CRUNCH!!!!1!1!"

"Hello, kind sir," greeted the ever-polite Jefferson, whilst grimacing at the wolf-juice that had dripped onto his golden cufflets.

HAMILTON WAS DEAD. Oh, wait, never mind, he was fine... he was a little mesmerized my all of the ab meat.

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The next day, Yacob Sebastian Trump, oops, I mean Crunch revealed his true identity to be a US Government spy. He was from New Transylvannia a hidden colony within Pennsylvania.

"Hardyhawdyhaw" noised Yacob Sebastian Crunch, chewing on a rat, "I" *Crunch* "HAVE" *Crunch* "SOMETHING" *Crunch* "IMPORTANT" *Crunch* "TO -

"HALT BEAST!" demanded Hamilton who was turning sickly pale while watching Yacob's teeth impale the rat.
Turning away (lest he puke), he begged, "SPIT THE CREATURE OUT!"

*Spit* Yacob Sebastian Crunch spat the rat guts onto Jefferson's desk like an ebola-infected cat having a hair ball.

*Clears Throat* "Now, I shall present my important findings," said Yacob Sebastian Crunch, officially. He pulled out the original American flag with the thirteen stars and stripes.

Jefferson raised an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"Do you know who sewed this flag? Betsy Ross. And she designed this here circle with the stars. You know what else is a circle with a star? A pentagram. Pentagrams are symbols of evil. Guess what else is associated with evil? Witches. And Witches use ... magic... magic is the subject of most children's books, and the most popular children's book featuring witches is HARRY POTTER. And guess what what other book competed with the Harry Potter series on the #1 Bestsellers Sellers List in the year 2006? TWILIGHT. And the Twilight saga features? VAMPIRES. Therefore, I theorize that BETSY ROSS is a vampire, and she is trying to channel the magic of the Indians to over -through the US Government." said Yacob Sebastian Crunch in one monsterous breath.

HAMILTON'S MIND EXPLODED... but he was ok, the brain cell loss was relatively minimal.

"BRILLIANT idea! Infact, so brilliant an idea, that I'm gonna take the credit for it!" exclaimed Jefferson as he led Yacob Sebastian Crunch to the basement dungeon of the white house to be locked up for eternity.