Lmao would be funny if I made ChrolloxHisoka happen. Just because I can. I want to make this as repulsive as possible, just to see if any of you leave.

Also Hisoka would 100% wear a collar with his partner/lover's name on it. And/or making his partner wear a collar with his name on it.

As day four rolled around, the majority of the troupe came with this time. Barring Feitan, Kortopi, Bonolenov, and Franklin.

Hisoka made sure to flirt with the teenager everything they were in earshot of the troupe.

He likes cementing the ideas they had of him.

This was also why he liked to go into the kid's play place during his breaks. Staying there for a good 15-30 minutes.

The troupe found him repulsive, but didn't care enough to get involved.

Even when they heard a child come running out of the indoor playground, crying to their mom about a scary clown being in there.

The mom, dismissing it as being the McDonald's mascot Ronald McDonald, and wanting a break from dealing with their child for a few minutes, just ignored the child's worries.

"It's fine dear," The mother assured, kissing the child's forehead before shooing him away, "so go back and play."

Twenty minutes later and they still didn't see the kid. Hisoka having walked out of the play place eight minutes after the kid reentered.

The troupe couldn't help but imagine what all Hisoka could do in eight minutes.

Phinks, Machi, and Shalnark's guess was sex.

Pakunoda and Shizuku went with the much more comfortable answer of child torture.

Uvogin and Nobunaga guessed starting a child army, and that was a secret recruiting ground.

Chrollo never said what he had thought off. He was too busy pretending to be engulfed in his book to hide his growing jealousy of Hisoka's flirting with the tonnage girl.

(Yeah, I'm going for it. This is what you all deserve. Chrollo x Hisoka ig😍😍)

—

Uvogin and Nobunaga were actually the closest in their guessing. The child was simply kidnapped and abandoned on the other part of town, which nobody had guessed.

However Hisoka had started teaching a few of the employees Nen. Curious to see what they'd all do with it, especially the group of cats in a trench coat. Which Hisoka hadn't seen coming.

Really goes to show how good Humeown Purrson's disguising skills were.

Unfortunately, he had to stop training them to do job interviews. Scheduled to interview three people today.

He had no idea people actually applied for McDonald's. He thought they were just grabbed off the streets and tortured into submission.

—

Hisoka wouldn't deny that he was entirely judging the people based off of first impression. The way they walked, talked, and looked, being key factors in the hiring process.

He ended up hiring none of them.

—

Interview number one

—

Hisoka didn't even glance at their résumé, tossing it barely to the side as the applicant came in.

They were around forty, and wearing a baseball cap backwards.

Hisoka's answer was already no.

"Pleasure to meet you, sir," The man held out his hand for a handshake, dripping with sweat.

Hisoka just stared, letting the man awkwardly put his hand down slowly slumping into the chair.

"Why should I hire you?~" Hisoka grinned. They were already a certain no, but he enjoys seeing them all riled up as they struggle to answer.

"Well, um," There was a lot of stuttering from the sudden blunt question, before the applicant just stood up and made the logical decision of tossing the chair out the window. And then turning on his heel and leaving.

If you can't leave a good impression, at least leave a memorable one.

Unfortunately Hisoka forgot about him within minutes. Already accustomed to violent behavior.

—

Applicant two came in next, not looking all that out of the ordinary.

Minus the fact that they were a talking duck, that is. But McDonald's doesn't discriminate. Unless you're any race except for white bread loaf, in which case they do judge.

"Got any grapes?" The duck asked, flying and closer to Hisoka, leaning in towards his face with an expectant look, "Hmmm???"

"No," Hisoka replied, honestly a bit threaten by the orange beak in his face, and the fact that he had never had a duck raise its eyebrows at him, "And I can't accept you if you don't make eye contact with me, birdy~"

That was technically speciesist, seeing how a duck's eyes were on the sides of their heads. Making it quite unfair to make the duck turn his head the entire time just to stare at Hisoka.

"Gimme them grapes and I'll look longingly into those pretty eyes of yours," The duck said, pecking Hisoka on the cheek, which was either a kiss or a threat "or else it's a no deal."

Hisoka can cross flirting with a duck off his bucket list now.

Talking about bucket lists, part of the narrator's list is dating the reader~ if you're single, they're quite willing to wife u up. If you're taken, he can wife you and your lover up.

"I don't believe flirting with your interviewer is considered professional~" Hisoka purred, running his fingers along the ducks back.

Hey, the duck started it.

"Did you just fucking pet me?"

"We both know it felt good~"

"Fuck you," The duck spat, before adding, "maybe literally, if you're into that sort of thing."

"I'm intrigued~" Hisoka admitted, a small smirk playing at his lips.

"Mm, that so?" The duck asked, grinning, if ducks can even do that.

Just then Humeown Purrson pounced onto the duck, shedding his trench coat as the cats scattered out of every hole of it. Shredding the duck to pieces, eating it alive.

"A pity~" Said Hisoka as the duck slowly, painfully died on his desk.

Luckily, the cats consumed every bit of the duck. Leaving the desk actually cleaner than it was before.

Humeown Purrson then filed back into his disguise, tilting his hat at Hisoka and wordlessly leaving the manager's office.

—

The third, and final applicant came in only ten minutes later.

They were named [REDACTED], which Hisoka was already judging.

They, again, were also quite normal. Besides part of their skeleton was sticking out, Hisoka chose not to question it.

"You ever not be able to afford a X-ray, so you cut off all your skin, muscle, and everything else just to see if your bone's broken?" They asked.

"Unfortunately, no~" Hisoka replied, gesturing for them to take a seat, "I'm afraid I'm not broke~"

"Marry me." [REDACTED] said breathlessly upon Hearing Hisoka's words.

"Don't flatter yourself~" Hisoka replied, far out of their league. And, well, everyone's league for that matter. Minus maybe Chrollo and Illumi.

And Gon.

[REDACTED] was visibly disappointed, arguing, "But we're [Redacted for security reasons] to be together."

"Get out." Hisoka was so annoyed by the comment, that was unfortunately redacted so you couldn't read it, that he didn't even add '~'

"I deserve that."

—

As soon as [REDACTED] left the office, Hisoka started tossing all the résumés into the trash. And then starting to tidy up his desk.

He didn't have to turn around to notice Chrollo slipping into the room, practically purring "Boss, what a pleasant surprise~"

The purring caused the mysterious person in the trench coat to enter the room, not because they were a cat or anything. But after seeing a vacuum, they quickly scattered away.

"Hisoka," Chrollo wasn't fond of having Hisoka's undivided attention, clearly.

See, Chrollo is, at heart, a theater kid. And therefore needs everyone's attention all the time.

Chrollo's theater kid-ness is often unnoticed, as he never has to try much to gain attention.

Anyone who knows theater kids, however, will know that not getting attention usually results in violent activities. Such as murdering the Kurta clan and defiling their dead bodies by removing their eyes, for example.

Within a second, Hisoka was pinned down to the desk. His back bent in a way that would be painful to anyone less flexible, now facing Chrollo.

"What an even more pleasant surprise~" Hisoka didn't bothering with trying to keep himself from moaning as he spoke.

(Haha, please leave.)

"Do I need to teach you manners, Hisoka?" Chrollo asked, his eyes locked on Hisoka's, pushing him against the desk harder, "Look at me when I am speaking to you."

Hisoka struggled to keep himself from calling Chrollo daddy.

The author suspects that the readers might, possibly, not have as much self control. Of course, after creating an Adult Trio book, they have learned that, at some point, somehow, Shalnark had actually become the fan favorite.

"Mmh..~ Yes, sir~" Hisoka groaned, glancing at Chrollo's hand, pinning him against the desk. It would be easy to get out of if he wanted to. He just really didn't want to.

"Good." Chrollo responded, before removing his hand, giving Hisoka the ability to move again.

Hisoka hated it, catching hold of Chrollo's wrist before it could move fully away from him. Wordlessly dragging it back towards him, this time right above his throat.

"I forget how sexual you are sometimes," Chrollo sighed, running his fingers through his hair. Which he then quickly tossed into a messy bun, in case he had to get sold to one direction.

Hisoka was honestly impressed. Forgetting he was a sexual person was really quite hard to do.

(Please leave already, please. Look, it's such a strange ship, just leave. I beg of you. Please the author is literally trying out writing more sexual relationships in the middle of a Hisoka working at McDonald's fanfic, you can just leave😭🙏)

Hisoka wasn't expecting Chrollo to go along with this, but he didn't dare complain. Instead, he curiously asked, "Now, truly, what do I owe the pleasure, boss?~"

"I wanted entertainment," Chrollo hummed, not entirely lying, "what better than a circus clown to provide that?"

The whole truth was that he wanted to be entertained by Hisoka specifically. This is because the author wants the reader to fucking leave already.

The narrator, however, doesn't;)

"I'm certain I could provide~" Hisoka looked at Chrollo. Finding his boss to be even more attractive when Hisoka had to look up at him, rather than down.

Height perspective really does make a difference.

It was that moment that the teenager barged in, "Hisoka, there's a strange band outside, claiming that they're here to buy someon-" they cut themself off, staring at Chrollo and Hisoka for a long moment, before saying "What the fuck."

"Don't worry," Chrollo, turned towards the girl, his hand leaving Hisoka's neck, much to Hisoka's dismay "I was just leaving."

Hisoka reluctantly stood up straight, watching Chrollo brush past the teenager, leaving the office.

After Chrollo disappeared out of sight, Hisoka disappointedly spoke, "Bands ready to buy humans despite human trafficking laws really do ruin everything~"

"You're having an affair on me." The teenager said, giving Hisoka a clearly faked hurt expression.

"Problem?~" Hisoka glanced down at the teen.

"No daddy- I mean, sir."

Word count: 1933

Fun Facts:

• Honestly Humeown Purrson was the funniest thing I've ever created.

• So goddamn tired rn that it took me right tries to spell "so" correctly. My autocorrect holding on for dear life. Anyways, my goal is to make 0 readers get to the final chapter.

• Gotta be careful with this ChrolloxHisoka stuff. (I tried to add an "i" to stuff, wtf) If I'm not careful I'll accidentally start really shipping it frfr, everything always starts out as a joke until it's not.