I should've known
I'd leave alone
Just goes to show
That the blood you bleed
Is just the blood you owe

' I should of known falling in love would be worthless and only cause you pain. But yet I still did it. We grow up alone and along the way of life we find people to forget that loneliness, I grew up trained to be emotionless and a killing machine. I should of stayed that way, yet when I met him everything changed. '

We were a pair
But I saw you there
Too much to bear
You were my life
But life is far away from fair

' I didn't know why but he was different, he stuck around and wanted to actually get to know me. He made my world colorful, I knew I had to distance myself to him, that he'd only hold me back. My parents always told me bounds and friendships only hold you back, yet I didn't listen and got close to him. So close I began to fall for him, I couldn't help but always worry for him. But that soon changed, he left without a single word, leaving me hallow and wondering why he left. '

Was I stupid to love you?
Was I reckless to help?
Was it obvious to everybody else

' Everyone always warned me about you, how you only used others for your benefits and pleasure. But I ignored them and stuck along, I stood by your side through all your ups and downs. I wondered did anyone know he was only using me, did Machi know? Her and hisoka are very close, so she most likely knew and she probably let it happen too, would that explain the way she acted towards me? '

That I'd fallen for a lie?
You were never on my side
Fool me once, fool me twice
Are you death or paradise?
Now you'll never see me cry
There's just no time to die

' you said you loved me and would never hurt me, look at me now. I sit here alone feeling so hallow and let sorrow eat me up, you always wanted to see me cry. Too bad you're not here, as these warm hot tears drip down my cheeks. I knew you weren't truly on anyone's side, here I was thinking you were on my side as you watched my back making sure no one would hurt me, I guess that was me mistake as you stuck that knife in my back. '

I let it burn
You're no longer my concern
Faces from my past return
Another lesson yet to learn

' it's been roughly four mouths since you left me, I shouldn't be worrying about you but still as I sit here I worry are you getting enough sleep?, Are you eating properly? You're just like everyone else I ever let close you hurt me, you made me remember why I locked my heart up. I hate this feeling so weak,I hate the way this sadness eats you up not letting you move, all you can do is let it swallow you whole. '

That I'd fallen for a lie
You were never on my side
Fool me once, fool me twice
Are you death or paradise?
Now you'll never see me cry
There's just no time to die

' I sometimes question why I feel for you, I mean they're millions of people on this earth. Yet I fell for the most greedy selfish bastard. I hate you so much, from afar you look like a carefree man not caring much, but if you get close you'd eat anyone whole breaking them, making sure to make them feel weak and worthless. I hate you for making me do the exact thing, why the fuck did I think you'd change? '

No time to die
No time to die

' you make me so weak and this unbearable pain it's too much, but each day I get up putting on my mask. Pretending to not be in pain and be the usual illumi everyone believes I am, I can't show weakness if I do I'd only fuel you and I can't allow that '.

Fool me once, fool me twice
Are you death or paradise?
Now you'll never see me cry

Illumi sighs as he gets out of the shower, he gets ready. He looks himself in the mirror, he looks normal but if you look deep into his eyes you can see all that bottle up pain. " I hate you hisoka morrow, yet I still love you " he spoke as tears fall down cheeks.

There's just no time to die

So what you think? I actually thought I could of done better, I did another songfic. Before you guys ask no I'm not a Billie eilish fan I only like her more sad music, so I wanted to clear that. The song called no time to die by Billie eilish.
~ pikatachi 🤗

08/28/2020

Word count: 831