Kaira's PoV

KARAN.

He was in front of me.

In front of my eyes.

I wanted to scream.

Shout.

Self-defence. I remembered every video of self-defence I had seen over the years. The hand moves, the tackles, the best way to strangle him and run away but nothing made sense.

My brain felt like a whirlwind, with many, many thoughts running through my head.

I'm stronger.

Stronger than this.

I had prepared for this all my life, and I'm not letting this man change anything.

I was aware of my surroundings.

This was my house, my friends, my family.

If he even lays a finger on me, I'd cut it off.

"Kaira, hi," he barely whispered. Hi? Did he just say hi?

I tried concentrating on his face, blocking the sunlight out. He was taller to me, his eyes were just the kind of brown I remembered and he had grown a beard.

"Are– are you okay?" He asked and I realised I was staring at him for a moment too long. Why wouldn't I? My nightmare stood right in front of my eyes.

"I– I am," I barely said, still in disbelief. My lips quivered and I realised my hand was shivering. This wasn't my the right time for panicking.

"I know you're taken away looking at me here... it's been a very long time," he said, taking his hand back and putting it back into his pocket.

Well yeah, we weren't exactly two bestfriends meeting after a long time.

"Why–," I try but leave it midway, turning behind, "I should go."

"No wait," He says, his hand holding me by my arm in reflex and I flinched.

"Don't! Don't touch me," I almost shout. I felt the neves rising again.

"I'm– I'm so sorry!" He says, taking his hand back immediately.

"Leave," I say, "Please just go."

"No," he says, "Please don't go. Listen to me once. I've waited for years to say this."

"Please don't do this. It's taken my years to move ahead in life. Please go, please," I repeat.

"I know, I'm sorry Kaira," he begs, "This is something I have waited to tell you for so long. Just once, look into my eyes and accept my apology. Please."

"And what?" I ask, anger flowing in my eyes, "You can't just walk in to say sorry and expect me to forgive you and go ahead in life. You– You have no idea what you did to me. You," I take a breath to calm myself.

"For years," I say, "For years, I have no been able to trust a single guy in my life, wondering if he'd take me to a room and try to rape me. Till today, I flinch when someone takes me off guard. Till today, the first video in my search history is always a self-defence one. It's taken the man I love years to help me move on and I still broke up with him in fear that you'd be back one day."

"Kaira," he says helplessly, "I know that a sorry can and will never be enough. I know that. But I want you to know that if this was possible, I'd take that night away in a heartbeat. I'd do everything I can to erase that night from our lives. We were young and reckless and the alcohol and male ego... I am so sorry."

"It doesn't work that way. You can't take it away like that, as much as we both wish to. Do you have any idea how many nights I have spent awake thinking what would have happened if Krishh didn't stop you. You'd have–"

He cut me off in the middle, "Krishh," he breathed, "My brother. I lost more than you, Kai."

"Stop." I say, "Don't call me that. I'm Kaira. Plain, simple, Kaira; the Kaira you almost raped. And you're not the victims. There's no scenario in which you get to play the victim or take the sympathy–"

He cuts me off again, "I know. I know I'm not the victim. You are–"

I cut him off this time, "I am not the victim, Karan. I'm a survivor."

"Right. Right!" He hustled, "I'm just trying to say that I lost a lot after that night too–"

"As you should have," I point.

"Yes, yes," he says, "I'm just saying, I haven't spoke to my family in years. My brother, Krishh, he's suffering for my mistakes–"

"What do you mean?" I say. The last sentence kept ringing in my head. Everything else took a backseat automatically.

"Krishh," he sighed, "My brother stood by you in the court, played a witness in the case. Our family disowned him after that, Kaira. They never spoke to him again for not standing by me when we needed him, and I'm here to ask you to forgive me so that I can get them–"

I didn't hear anything after that.

"You're lying," I gasped, my hand covering my mouth.

No. I've known Krishh for five years now. And I have spoken to and met a lot of his cousins and occasionally talked to his parents on the phone. I haven't met them in personal because they live in London but the first thing we were going to do after his clinic sets up was go meet his parents in person.

"I'm not," he said, "I would never lie about that. His parents still speak to him sometimes I think, but it's years since he hasn't seen them because of the fight they had because of what I did. I'm in guilt, Kaira."

No.

I gasped, taking a step behind.

"He chose to stand by you over his family."

That's not true.

"You're lying, I've spoken to his parents!" I push him, tears lingering in my eyes. Was I so blind for so many years that I didn't realise the pain he was living in?

"I would n–," his voice faded when a hard punch landed on his chin and he almost fell back. I flinched, almost shouting in shock as Krishh's furious face came into the scene.

"Krishh," I said in reflex as he stared at his cousin with anger and fury before putting a hand over my shoulder and protectively pulling me behind him.

"How dare you come here?" Krishh seethed while Karan composed himself.

"Krishh, you're– you're here?" Karan asked, confusion all over his face.

"Yeah, but what the fuck are you doing here?" Krishh said as I held his kurta in both my hands, trying not to break down.

I hated this.

This weak feeling like I was unable to defend myself.

"I came to apologise, to–," Karan started.

"Leave," the man I loved seethed.

"Brother–"

"Don't," Krishh said, "Neither of us want to hear it. You've done enough. Just go."

"He's the one," Karan's accusation glare fell on me, "The one you love."

I had no power to deny it, but he was no one for me to justify my relations with others.

"And you broke up with him," he was accusing, "For me."

Not true.

Very, very true.

Krishh's eyes set on me as well, "What is he saying?"

"I'm not worth it Kaira," Karan said, stepping forward, "I've already destroyed a lot of your past, don't let me destroy your future as well."

"Kaira, answer me, love," Krishh turned me to him, "Leave him."

My gaze was at the grass, a silent tear flowing off.

"My brother is a man than I could ever be, Kai," Karan said.

"Don't fucking call her that," Krishh shouted, looking at his cousin who shuddered.

"I know," I looked at him, "Don't compare yourself to your brother."

"Can you stop talking to him?" Krishh looked at me and I gave a small nod.

"I should go," Karan interrupted.

"Yes– please," I ans Krishh said at the same time, while Krishh looked at his cousin brother walk away, I clung to him.

"Now explain to me what's happening, sweetheart?" He looked at me, raising my head for my eyes to meet his.

"I don't deserve you, I never did," my eyes filled up again.

"Let me be the one to decide that, will you?" He said patiently with all the love in the world.

"Why?" I gulped, "I broke up with you in the most horrible manner. Hate me!"

"You think I believe you if you randomly come up and tell me that you want freedom from me?" He said, holding my face.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking," I said.

"Clearly," his face was a straight line in disappointment, "I'm very upset, babe. Not because you broke up with me in the fakest manner ever to upset both of us, but because there was something upsetting you and you never told me. Just when I was thinking you trust me, you pushed me all the way out again."

I looked down, "I was scared."

"Of me?" He said, "Have I ever hurt you intentionally?"

"Of losing you, hurting you... I was– I don't know," I said, and now that I tried speaking my reasons aloud, I realised how stupid that sounded.

"You didn't want to lose me by breaking up with me, that's a really nice way, right?" He laughed and I pouted at the way he teased me.

"So now what," he said, tucking a hair strand behind.

"Don't get back with me, I could break your heart again," I warned.

"Well, like I always said, getting my heart broken by you would be a privilege, love," he gave me a smile.

"You're really digging your own grave here," I poked, "I'm broken, behind repairs."

"I'm not here to repair you," he smiled affectionately, "I'm here to love you while you repair yourself."

"I'm in love with you," I said, "And I'm so stupid."

"I'd say that back if you promise to not push me out ever again, no matter how crazy your thinking runs and how much you think it'll hurt me," he said.

"I promise," I reply, "It's going to difficult but I'd rather die than lose you again."

"I'm glad we're at the same page because life would absolutely suck without you," he held me close and I nodded as he wiped off my tears with his thumb.

"So," a smug smile spread over his lips, "I heard you went home after the 'break up' and found something in my wardrobe."

"I did?" I asked, confused.

"Mh-hmm," he nodded smugly, "And although this is absolutely the worst way of doing this, I can't see a time more perfect."

He got on his knees and my eyes widened when I realised he pulled the box I had seen in his wardrobe out, opening it to a diamond ring.

"Marry me, Kaira Singhaniya?"

~~