This has no MaNan, but it was very important. Feel him guys, feel his pain and only then you'd relate to the upcoming track.

{ a very important note at the end, do not miss}

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M A N I K

Putting a few more ice cubes to the glass of whiskey in my hand, I slumped back to the corner of the dark room. My eyes felt heavy and everything around me felt dizzy, but I still continued staring at the blank walls and drinking my whiskey.

There was some pain lingering on my cheek, at the place where Nandini slapped me a few hours ago.

Nandini. My wife.

Or should I say- soon to die Wife?

Because she just wouldn't listen to me!

She'd just do what she wants to, I don't matter, do I? And then suddenly, it becomes for my happiness.

She's going to die. Why? Oh, cause of my happiness. She'd sacrifice her life for my happiness? Like seriously? How great of her, isn't it?

What should I do in return for her? Build her a temple? Pray her idol everyday?

The fuck!

She doesn't understand anything. Who even made her do big? She's still my kid. My baby.

Oh, baby?

My babies!

I was going to be a father, isn't it?

Where are my babies? Why can't I see them?

And where is Nandini? Why is it all so dark here?

"Nandini!" I shouted but my voice was echoed back by the dark walls, and I hicupped. I'm so scared of the darkness. Where did she leave me and go?

I tried getting up but I fell back the ground as everything fumbled around me. What was happening to my house? Was it falling down?

Or was it dying like my kids and my wife too?

Acha hai, nhi?

"Okay, you're allowed to leave me too!" I laughed to myself and my eyes threatened to close, suddenly feeling too difficult to open.

"Oh, my eyes, are you leaving me too?" I laughed and more darkness surrounded me as the whiskey glass dropped from my hand, shattering across me.

I tried pushing it all across but ended up keeping my right elbow on it, the glass pieces pricking in deep.

But it didn't pain. You know why? Because my heart pained more.

Can you imagine knowing that the love of your life will be dying any moment from now?

How will it feel? Wouldn't you feel just as I am feeling?

I wish I could take it all away from my girl. I wish I could place myself instead of her.

"Nandini!" I called, as a small tear drop slipped off my eye. I'm so weak without you, please come back to me.

Don't leave me, please.

I choose you, baby. I choose you over my own blood. I choose you over our kids. I choose you over myself, I choose you over everyone, just be safe please.

I don't know how I would even live without you.

Everything feels so dark and cold here and though I never told anyone, I'm very afraid of the darkness. I can't live a life without you, Nandini.

If you die, I'm going to die too.

I'm sure God has saved a little more time for us.

Our Humesha wasn't this small, right?

Just come back to your monster, Nandini. I promise I will make everything alright. I will get the best doctors in the world.

But please don't leave me Nandini. I'm nothing without you.

You're my reason to go on everyday. You're my reason to continue every incomplete work of mine. You're the reason I look forward for each day. You're the reason I breathe Nandini, come back to your monster please.

"Manik?"

I miss you so much, Nandini.

Come back to your monster.

"Manik?"

Please come back Nandini.

I will not be able to live without you.

"Manik?"

We will remove a solution together, baby. We will not give up so soon on us, will we?

Just come back.

I promise to keep you safe, I promise.

*splash*

THE FUCK! All the darkness around me disappeared and there was some pricking light entering my eye, and I felt someone shaking me!

What the fuck was happening?

"Manik!" À shout reached me.

"Uh Nandini?," I whispered in daze.

"Manik Malhotra, get up!" Another shout. But this didn't sound like my Nandini's sweet voice. When did Nandini started sounding so manly?

Was this-... Cabir?

Slowly opening my eyes one by one, my eyes were blur but I think I could still see two y'all figures standing in front of me.

"Cabir?" "Gay?" I whispered.

Aryamman laughed looking away and Cabir hit his head to his hand but I wasn't still understanding anything.

The water splash did make me a little sober, but the effect of alcohol still continued.

"Manik, tu yahan kya kar raha hai?" Cabir asked helping me get up as he held my right hand which was still bleeding.

Which also means, nothing was a dream. Nandini was still in danger. My kids were still in danger. And even after having everything in this world, I was a failure. I couldn't do anything.

I was a loser.

"Manik, where are you lost?," Cabir shook me again.

"Nan-dini!," I whispered again looking everywhere. Where was my wife?

I closed my eyes and everything from yesterday can back running to me. The doctors words. Nandini's face. Her slap. Her stubbornness. Her stupid promise.

"Manik, congrats buddy! We heard the heart beat of your baby that you sent us on whatsapp. We're so happy for you!" Cabir smiled and I mentally laughed.

"It's not baby, it's babies, Nandini and I have twins....," I corrected in a low voice and their eyes widened before big smiles broke out on their faces.

"But now we have no kids! I lost both my children and my wife," I laughed even louder.

"Yeh tu kya bol rha hai Manik?" Aryamman shook me. "Oh no Aryamman, it's the drunk speaking!" Cabir relaxed pointing at the bottle of whiskey in the corner which was was broken.

I laughed, and I laughed until I held my face with my hand and fell back again.

My life was a joke.

Everything around me was a joke.

Loser. Failure. I'm a fucking useless man who can't even protect his family.

"Manik!" Cabir slumped down back to me. "Kya bol raha hai tu?"

"The doctor... she said that we'd have to abort our babies, mine and Nandini's babies Cabir! Orelse there is danger to Nandini's life. She asked me to choose between them," I held Cabir's hand bringing it close to my heart.

"Yaha dard hua tha Cabir, yahan!" I hit his hand to my heart. "How can she even do this to us hmm?"

"Nandini kitni khush thi jab she got to know that we have twins! And uss tucking doctor ne ek pal mein mera sab kuch cheen liya. You should have seen Nandini's face, Cabir! She was so hurt. Kitna royi voh, she was asked to give away her own babies to save her life Cabir, toot gyi hai voh!" I shook him.

"But, meine soch liya, I will save my wife. If she's there, we can have ten more babies. But without her, mera kya?" I cried as without I knew, a few tear drops fell from my eyes. I have never ever cried in my life, then why today?

"I always tell that no one can love me how selflessly she loves me, but galat tha mein. She is selfish Cabir, very selfish. She chose our babies. Aur mera kya Cabir, mera kya?" I pushed myself more behind, which caused my elbow my rub to the wall, making it pain more, but I wished I cared.

My heart on fire pained much much more than my bleeding right elbow and hand.

"And she says she is doing this for my happiness? I feel more sad Cabir, I feel useless. Sab kuch hone ke baad bhi if I can not save my own family, then I'm a loser. Mein sirf ek failure hi reh gaya Cabir, I'm a failure," I fell back.

"Manik tera haath!" Cabir tried holding me wiping his tears. Haath.

"Haa haath!," I laughed, "she slapped me with the same haath when I told her I want to save her,".

"Kya galat kiya meine? Tu bol na? Kya galat kiya! What was wrong in saving my own wife. If this is called selfish then I am selfish enough to not let my wife sacrifice her life even if she hates me for this in the remaining one. She's my home Cabir, she's my happiness. Uske bina toh mein monster hu na?" I asked getting up and Cabir nodded. Even though he tried, he couldn't hide the tear drop that slipped by his eye.

"Cabir, mujhe sirf Nandini chahiye. I'm her husband first before being a father. Meine promise kiya tha Abhimanyu se before he left for London that I will take care of his sister. Mein kya bolunga usko? That his sister fell in love with the wrong man? A useless, fucking failure?," I shouted and he nodded negatively.

"Nahi Manik...," his voice broke.

"Cabir, please meri Family ko bacha le! Please save them, mein nhi reh paunga unke bina. If i lose the kids and I save Nandini, toh Nandini hi toot jaayegi. And if I don't save Nandini, toh kids ka mein karunga kya? Please save all three Cabir, please!" I cried joining my hands and then held his feet and he just tried picking me up.

"Manik, hum Nandini se baat karte hai chal! Nandini kahan hai?" He shook me.

Where is my wife? "Pata nahi!" I laughed sadly.

"Bas chali gyi, she said she will save the babies and she simply walked away. She doesn't even care about me, she just loves her children. She's a selfish mother Cabir, she doesn't love me anymore. I will die without her Cabir, please get her back to me!" I cried incoherently as I fell in his arms, hugging him for my life.

I will beg the doctor also if necessary.

I will beg the God.

I will beg everyone you ask me to.

I will even beg a beggar if necessary.

But I will save my family. I don't want to lose my kids, I don't want to loose my wife.

I want all of them in my arms, safe and happy.

"We were all so happy before this, can't we be as happy as before? Why does God always have to tear just me and Nandini, why can't he see her happy for once, us happy!" I shouted to Cabir and he himself stood there numb.

"Guys!," Aryamman ran inside from I don't know where. Where had his gay gone all this while? "It is not guys, it is gays!" I corrected him and started laughing as loudly as I could on my own joke.

"She told that only. Tujhe pata hai, she said that you and I were gays and that is why I left her all night and went to party with you!," I patted his shoulder.

"Agar mujhe pata hota that this is the case, toh mein jaata hi nhi na. I would have stayed home, I would have felt my babies kick for an infinite time. Because I don't think I will ever get the chance to do this again! I would have hugged Nandini and not let her go at all. I would have atleast listened to all the dreams she had in her eyes for her babies! But I didn't do anything. I lost all the time I had with my children, because...," I shouted, "I am a failure!", and then clapped loudly for myself.

"Kya hua Aryamman?" Cabir ignored my talks and asked him. Great, my brother will ignore me too now.

"Nandini mil gyi," He said in a low voice. This was something to be happy about, isn't it? Why was he so sad about it? Where was my wife?

"She fainted a few hours ago, and had been carried to the hospital. Baaki sab vahan pohoch chuke hai but the doctors said that her condition is critical because she was eight and a half months pregnant, hadn't eaten anything from long, crying since a long time and maybe under a lot of stress also-....," his voice faded slowly.

She hadn't eaten anything.

She was crying such a long time.

She was under a lot of stress.

"Manik, rukh! Atleast look at your hand!," Cabir shouted from behind but I didn't care as I continued walking away.

I felt lost. Did I even deserve to live after giving my wife so much pain?

She is always in so much pain, and there is only one reason of her pain always- Manik Malhotra.

~•~

Want to read ahead, you know where to find it. If you can't find the chapter ahead on the app, you know what to do (instructions in the previous chapter); link in my account.

Anyone having any problems with the app can message me and I'd patiently solve them all :)

IMPORTANT- READ TILL THE END, DO NOT SKIP:

Imagine your father going from door to door to ask for food so that he can make you eat.

Imagine your mother having high viral and crying in pain but no medicines to treat her.

Imagine you or your younger/elder brother/sister wanting water but all you have is muddy puddles and flood.

Imagine your grandparents going out for a walk and suddenly not returning at all because of some floods.

Helpless, wouldn't we be? Feeling irritated? Feeling like crying imagining your family so devasted?

But there are some people actually facing this right now guys!

We all know the conditions in Kerala right now, don't we? But what they are showing on news isn't even 2% of the actual condition. I have my friend's extended family staying there and the things they tell us have got us shook.

What I have written above is something I can't imagine my own family in, but that is actually happening there. It's so sad, isn't it?

Kerala is vulnerable and needs out help and support.

Though I can't compel anyone, I would only request, if anyone is willing to donate, please drop in a message in the comments and I will personally contact you. And also don't worry, the source to which you will donate money is an organisation and trusted.

There are no minimum amounts, even if you can contribute a little is fine. If you don't earn, ask your parents. No parent will say no to charity if it is trusted.

Even if it is a mere amount of Rs. 100, they need it, maybe your money gives food to a one year old hungry boy and saves his life?

We all have a little humanity left in us, don't we? PLEASE DONATE, EVEN IF IT IS A VERY PETY AMOUNT.

I have already contributed my share, it's your turn now.

I'm hoping to see a response in comments guys, please don't let me down. You can also message me in personal or even DesireToDevour

Thank you! :)

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