"If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve." - Lao Tzu

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Athena Giudici's POV

              I WAS staring at my phone blankly. That last word left me thinking. That simple word suddenly weighs heavy on my chest. Crushing my heart into tiny million pieces.

Bye. I involuntarily spewed it out.

I meant temporarily, but I knew it in my heart and felt, it was the end of it. The end of everything. It doesn't take a word to know. I could feel the tension as we talk.

I chuckled softly with bitterness. "Bye, Gio," I mumbled inaudibly between chuckling, feeling the hollowness in my heart, helpless and desperate. That intense raw of pain suddenly course through my chest, digging into my heart like a drill, leaving a hole and emptiness in my heart.

I plopped down on my couch shaking visibly, tears made its way down on my cheeks, incessantly. I squeeze my eyes shut and tried to numb my feelings but all the more our memories flooded in my brain. My shoulders shaking as tried to stifle the tears but it kept pouring, unstoppable.

I curled on the couch horizontally in a fetal position as I cried out the raw pain in my chest until it is numb. I heard the phone created a soft thud as it reaches the floor. It was faint to my ears, all I could hear was the vividly raw sound of my sobs, filling the dead air.

I remember the tape. Gio never said anything and I could tell he won't ever tell me anything.

The tape is missing. Theresa is dead. Dad is somewhere with a friend, and Gio is avoiding me. I know there's something I needed to know. I will find it myself, but where am I going to start?

The tape is in someone's hand. I knew someone broke into his office and found it. I tried to call my father, but he wasn't answering and it only directs me to his voicemail. I called mom and she told me that dad is in Las Vegas meeting a long time client.

It sounded fishy to me, but I didn't pry. I will just talk to him when he gets back. I was just hoping he has it. Or maybe he had it and that meeting is about the tape. I knew dad has no important meeting for the two weeks.

My hand suddenly ran the leather couch on my side, and again, Gio's mischievous face flashed through my head and I felt the tears poured out heavily. He loves to cuddle on the couch as we watch, or I'm in my laptop. He loves to hold me while I'm watching, teasing me and doing wicked things to me that I never thought I would enjoy it and indulge.

My heart felt so raw. The feeling of going through death helplessly and no one can save you from dying again and again. I felt despondent, and everything seems worthless now. From the moment I entertained and accepted that he was the man my heart beats for life, he became my world. And now, it collapsed, shattering me into pieces, unrestored.

I stared at the dark TV screen and saw my reflection. Suddenly, his mischievous eyes flash through my head. Those strange amethyst eyes that held so much mischief, making my heartbeat races, turning my insides into mush, making my peaceful system fell into chaos. Even in a simple thing, he made me feel contented and extremely happy.

I shook the thoughts off and shut my eyes off tight. I needed a diversion. I needed someone to talk to, or I'll go crazy. I thought Bell for a second, but I remember her plate is full right now. I can't add another in her baggage.

I felt like my chest is too heavy so was my head with all these mysterious things going on, too many questions stuffed in my skull and desperately needed answers, but nobody wants to give me a damn answer. I'm venting and I needed someone to blow off steam or something to do to vent out this pent up frustrations, despair, and heartbreak.

I quickly bolted upright and pick up my phone. I dialed Dean's number. I know it's late at night, but I needed someone to talk. I need a hard drink too.

"Hello," Dean's hazy voice rang in my ears and I felt relieved.

"Hey," I started. He sounded sleepy to me, or I had awoken him. "It's me, Enna."

"What's up?" his raspy tone increase an octave as soon as he realized it was me. I would have imagined he bolted upright from his bed.

"I'm sorry if I catch you at a bad time. I just desperately needed someone," I trailed off, acquiesced.

"It's almost midnight, Enna. Is something wrong?" he asked. I could hear the concern in his tone and I knew, he is exactly what I needed at this moment.

"I just need a drink," I said hoping he'll get my drift.

"At this hour?" he sounded surprised and I can't blame him. It's almost midnight.

"I know. I'm sorry, Dean, but I need a date tonight. Let's go to the bar," I suggest, desperation laced in every single word.

"What about Gio?" he asked

"I don't wanna talk about him!" I grit out, unable to control myself.

"Did you guys had a fight?"

"No!" I said all too quickly.

"So you two broke up?" he asked tenaciously.

"No!" I replied puffing an air in frustrations. Honestly, can he just say yes, instead of bombarding me with so many questions?

"Alright, baby doll. I love you, but I love my life. I'm still having the time of my life, and I don't want to end it yet!" he remarks and my eyebrows quirk.

"I'm just asking you to accompany me, Dean. I'm not asking you to kill yourself for me!" I snapped unconsciously, rolling my eyes in frustration.

"Well, that's likely will gonna happen to me. If your possessive man finds out we are together in the bar, ALONE, then he'll kill me," he said exaggeratingly.

"Are you coming or not? Either way, I'm going to the bar. I needed a hard drink until I passed out!" I proclaimed and I heard him sigh.

"Fine. Give me an hour to get rea-"

"AN HOUR?" I asked incredulously. Seriously, I just needed a drink. Probably after a half hour, I'm done. "That's too long to wait. Twenty minutes, you should be here, or I'll go by myself." I threatened.

"Fine, fine ... Twenty-minutes, boss!" he agreed sarcastically.

I hang up the phone and quickly head straight to my room and got changed, fixing myself just to look a little pleasant.

             THE SMELL of cigar, liquors, assaulted my nostril and it almost gags me. Added to the torture were the smell of strong perfumes wore by this old man to conceal their earthy smell. I guess due to their age closed to dust. You know, when your old, you smell like earth. It's like the earth is calling for you.

Come on, baby. It's time to die!

Arghh...

There's tons of bar where we could go, but this dick really knows how to pissed me royally. He brought me to this cheap and slutty bar, which is not too far from my building. If I knew he will bring me here, I would have wore my pajamas.

I looked around and all I could see was old men who I think couldn't get any woman to bed, so they come here where they could pay a twenty bucks for a sex.

Eighty-five percentage of the crowd are an old or senior citizen. I could feel their eyes trained on my back as Dean escorted me to a table not far from the door and I'm glad, because when I'm done with my business here, I don't have to go around just to exit out of this shit.

A waiter or I would say a hooker approached us with a wide smile. "Give me a bottle of Tequila," I ordered without ceremony and Dean looks at me in disbelief.

"She's just kidding. Give us some-"

"I'm not kidding! Give me a bottle of tequila!" I grit out and Dean stared at me, cocked-eyed. I widened my eyes on him. "I needed a drink that's why I was here, hello?" and gave him a sarcastic suggestive glare. He just sighed in resignation then face the waitress.

"Just give me a regular beer, miss." Dean said and the girl left. Dean was wearing a plain white t-shirt and top it with a black leather jacket, and gray jeans, while I was wearing my sexy back just above knee body hugging dress because I thought we are going to Long Beach bar.

"I look like an alien here," I scowled at him as soon as the waitress left.

He puckered his eyebrows in confusion. "You look stunning, what are you talking about?" he leaned back in his chair and crosses his hands against his chest, giving me a disapproving glare. I didn't bother to look around the old, earthy-smell bar. He was looking at me with amusement.

"I meant, I'm overdressed. I feel like an outcast from this crowd." I hissed through gritted teeth.

"Well, sorta. It's like a fresh apple among rotten ones," he chuckled in amusement, giving me a suggestive grin. "I'm avoiding your possessive boyfie, baby doll. I told you, I love my life. I knew he doesn't go to this type of bar," he looks around the room and I rolled my eyes heavenward.

Finally, the waitress arrived. As soon as she placed the tequila in front of us with the bowl of lime wedges, I unscrewed the cap and poured some into the shot glass and without a ceremony, I pounded down the tequila. The taste is horrible, but I needed this shit tonight. The only shit that I know could knock me down, helplessly.

It tastes bitter and sharp, but with lime and salt, it wasn't too bad. Still, I hated the taste, but as I have said, I needed this. The taste is incomparable with the bitterness in my heart.

It wasn't as bad as I first tasted it with my friends way back university days. It's like, "Dude, where's my bra? Who stole my innocence?" After four shots, and a lime Smirnoff, poof, everything around me shook and before I knew it, I slept where I sat drinking with my friends. Woke up, not remembering what the hell happened that night. I'm just glad, we are all girls.

"Hey, easy there, baby doll!" Dean took the shooter out of my reach after I had like a countless shot. He was watching me for a minute, then all of a sudden, he stops me.

"I'm not even done, yet!" I snapped but sounding whiny to me.

"If I'll let you drink yourself into oblivion, then I wouldn't find out what prompts you to come to the bar at this hour," he stared at me and I met his curious eyes. He was holding the bottle of tequila like his life was depended on it. My eyes were trained on the tequila absentmindedly.

I remembered Gio. That hurt resurfaced again. I look down on the wooden table and chuckled bitterly like a fool. "Gio is avoiding me," I spilled out, unable to contain the hurt and frustrations, confusions and uncertainties of this relationship.

"Why?" he suddenly sat upright, elbows propped on the table and he leaned a little forward. I stared into his eyes and he looks deeply concerned.

"I don't know." I shook my head.

"I needed more of that," I said as I look at the tequila he was still holding.

"Alright, but slow down." He poured half full of the shooter and gave it to me.

Grabbing one lime wedge and dip it with the salt, I downed the tequila and sucked the lime juice with salt. The burning sensations slithered down into my throat.

"Why would Gio avoid you? As far as I remember, he wanted to be with you all the time. To think that he pays someone to follow you when he can't? That's really absurd, but I understand your boyfriend is a possessive streak and with a temper." He stressed out and I chuckled at his statement humorlessly.

"He's not my boyfriend anymore," I slide the shot glass to him, insinuating I needed another shot and he got my point.

I swigged another shot and then another. I felt my body beginning to get woozy. My head spinning and everything around me starting to get blurry and spinning.

"You are overthinking things again, baby doll. You need to eat more banana, they said it will decrease your stress and makes you a happy person, instead of drowning yourself with tequila." He lectured.

True! But only Gio's banana who can make me happy.

I quickly shook the thoughts off.

"Oh come on, Dean. Just let me tonight. When was the last time, I got drunk?" I feigned to squeeze me head out to sound sarcastic to him. He knew that I always was a moderate drinker, well except that night when I first tasted a hard drink and that's tequila. My friend quoted, "we will christen you, Enna" and in the morning, I felt like my innocence had gone completely. Head felt like a thousands hammer, hammering it. It felt like a group of carpenters in my skull was building something inside my head.

"I think, you had enough, baby doll. I'll drive you back to your place," Dean suggested and he stood up. I don't want to go back  home, yet. I don't want to remember anything about him.

"I can still handle another shot," I giggled and open my hand to motioned him to sit back. "I still have so many things to tell. I can't hold it any longer or my chest will burst out. I might wake up one day, mentally disorder," I said melodramatically and Dean decided to sit back when he saw how sad and desperate I was.

"I'm sure Gio is going ballistic when he found out you're out here, drinking." He sounded so scared and it starting to irritate me. Why are all these people so freaking scared of that dick? "And I'm sure, one of these guys here are relating it to him now," he ran his eyes around us and I followed him. My blurry vision couldn't distinguish any of the guys and women around us, but I'm pretty sure, I saw  few who was wearing a suit, but not as elegant and costly as Giovanni's minions suit. Of course, they are working to the high and mighty Giovanni, who breaths fortune.

I stared at the guy who looks like in his mid-sixties and he was staring at me, too. Too open I must say. I scoffed.

I discreetly assessed him, though it's hard when around your eyes is like breathing smokes, foggy. Am I crying? No, I'm not. I'm just feeling woozy and my eyes starting to get blurry, that explains why my eyes are foggy. 

Well, I assumed he is not Giovanni's puppet. He wore a shabby suit and not shaven. He looks disgusting, with a chubby face. I'm not certain if he has that good body as most of Gio's men has because he was sitting, or I might be wrong.

The guy gave me a suggestive grin and I snorted. I tore my eyes off him and drastically averted it to Dean. He was now staring at me. "Gio sent those morons just to watch me because he was only after the tape!" I hissed when I remember why Gio did all these things. Now, it dawned on me, how important that tape is. Why he has to go through all this.

"TAPE?" Dean straightened out and leaned forward. "What tape?" he asked and then he casually scans the crowd then back to me. My eyes suddenly darted to his ocean blue eyes, full of curiosity.

Dammit, Enna. Why can't you filter your mouth?

"You're right, I think I had enough. I'm blabbering things I don't know." I chuckled and was about to rise, but Dean stop me.

My eyes suddenly snapped to Dean's face and he was staring at me, bewildered. "What about the tape, Enna?" His voice is stern and I could sense he knew a little about the tape. He was staring at me deeply now, and I knew, I was cornered. I mentally chastised myself for spewing it out without thinking. I shouldn't have called him to accompany me.

"Can I trust you?" I asked as I occupied the seat back.

"Yes, of course. We are the best friend if you consider me one?" he glared at me playfully. I nodded absentmindedly. "You were like my sister, and you know all my secrets," he added on and I thought, he was my another Bell.

"Dad entrusted me a tape. It was an evidence of something, from a mafia group." I stared at Dean and his eyebrows pressed tightly together, eyes held confusion. "I have no idea what's on that tape, but dad's desperate voice is enough to know that it is very important." I continued on as I stroke the rim of the shooter glass with my index finger.

"I think, the tape has something to do with the sudden death of Theresa," Dean remarks and my eyes snapped to his, deeply interested. "I understand you now. Gio's dad is a well-known ruthless mafia leader, but never once caught because he's slimy and genius." Dean continued on.

"How do you know all these?" I asked.

"Because I work in a publishing company and I'm Italian, too. The Santorini reigned in Italy, and 90 percent of Italians knew the Santorini well." Dean stressed out and I nodded my head. Deans parents are very Italian and they always spend their summer vacation in Italy. "Do you know that Gio's family was slaughtered in their homes, and his mom and sister were raped before they were killed?" Dean looks at me intently. "It was a big news in Italy and even here in New York. The Santorini is very powerful. People are too keen of their existence. Paparazzi's too desperate to know what's going on about them, like every day. They were very private, especially the old Santorini." I was staring into Dean's eyes, but I'm feeling of complete detachment and disconnection as the photos of Gio's family flashed through my head. Gio told me, too, but the feelings when he told me compared when I saw it in my eyes the image of them, it was awfully distressing. I felt that lump in my throat and suddenly went dry as the image of his family lifelessly lying on their own blood, cut-throat, arms, legs, belly ... I shut my eyes off and shook the images of my head. I felt like gagging and rage starting to bubbles up in my system. I can't blame him, why he is cold and heartless.

"Don't you think, that tape is an evidence of his parent's horrifying death?" Dean asked. And suddenly, my brain is like a bulb, suddenly lit up. He has a point. Maybe that's why he desperately wanted that tape. Then realization dawns on me.

"Oh my God, that tape was stolen. Someone broke into my dad's vault and stole it!" I murmured, my palm involuntarily flung to my mouth, covering it in shock and horror.

"What do you mean?" Dean murmured, leaning forward a bit more, his voice softening as he discreetly glances over his sides.

"Someone broke into dad's vault. I came to see it the other day, to see what's on that tape, why all these people desperately want that tape." I explained, my voice starting to quiver with fear, and the realization that dad entrusted that tape to me.

"Don't you think it might be Gio who stole it? Now, that he's avoiding you, meaning he already had what he needed, so there's no need to be nice to you?" Dean explained and why didn't I think of this before?

God, I'm so stupid. I palmed my face as I propped my elbows on the table. I couldn't believe I was so stupid.

"You are right. He has it, that's why he doesn't need me anymore. He's slowly discarding me, and yet I'm still hoping we are okay," I felt the tears streaking my face.

"Hey, Enna. Are you alright?" Dean's voice suddenly sound alarmed. "Please don't cry. I don't want these people thought, I was breaking up with you!" He chuckled humorlessly. I know he was trying to ease my feelings. "Let's not overthink things. Maybe we are wrong. Why don't you confront Gio and demand an explanation instead of concluding," Dean suggested and all the more my tears kept streaming down.

I heard nothing from Dean as he let me cried silently. I guess he gave up, comforting me.

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Giovanni Leone Santorini's POV

              I SAW on the corner of my eyes, Sai threw another tape on the pile of useless tapes. After realizing that Enna is not in her condo, I suddenly panic. I called Dick 1 and 2 to find her. I drove to Sai's place and Vito was with him, too. We drove to their office and listened to all the tapes and we are halfway done, yet nothing says about Lucky or anything that will confirm that he was the guy who killed my family.      

The tape was mostly a record of every transaction the group made. About dealings with other groups, secret deals.    

"Sir, she's at the "Pluck&Fuck bar-"

"What?" My attention suddenly snaps back to Dick one on the other line. "What the fuck is she doing there?" I growled with my temper slowly rising.

"Obviously, drinking, sir." I hate his retort, but I ignored his sassy comeback, scowling at oblivion.

"Who is she with?" I grit out, my voice lowered a pitch.

"S-she's w-with t-that, the-the guy she usually hangs out with, s-sir." Dick one stuttered and I clenched my jaws squeezing my eyes shut to control my temper. This son of a bitch is seriously adding to my irritation. He was responding all too sassy, and all of a sudden, he was stuttering.

Of course, you are talking with that infamous low controlled tone!

"Hey, Leone. Come listen to this," Sai's called me and I stared at their direction. He's sitting on a chair opposite Vito while listening to their old cassette compact deck adjacent to them.

"Watch her until she gets home!" I growled to Dick 1 and hang up the phone. I quickly stuff my phone in my pocket and approached them. I sat on the same chair I vacated a moment ago when Dick one called me.

I motioned Sai to play it as soon as my ass connects to the chair's seat.

"Where the hell is Lucky?" A lethal voice asked deep and dark booming.

"He's coming, boss." A man with equal timbre responded. "I thought you hated that man?" he asked after.

"They say, keep your enemies close, Ben." That scarface guy responded too confidently. After a short pause, he laughed. It was a light laughter. "I just love how karma slaps him," he muttered.

I look at Sai and he was looking at me too, so as Vito. We all shared the same stares. Our eyes snapped back to the cassette deck.

"His love of his life was stolen from him, the same way he stole the only woman I love." I could hear the bitterness and wrath in his voice though he sounded light. "Now he knew how it felt like. Now, that he's planning the death of one-eyed, I'll just have to sit and wait till he is done, then I'll plan his. Getting two things done at the same time." His laughter increases like a maniac and madman. The background voices joined him laughing.

The tape made a buffering sound. Sai and Vito looked at me instantly. My jaw clenched involuntarily. My eyes darkened with rage.

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A/N: Here you go.. I hope it all makes sense. I'm feeling like I'm getting disconnected to the story. I'm trying to rethink the plot in my head. I had it all planned, but all of a sudden, it is disconnecting. But don't you all worry, I had it back, all planned out again. I hope you will like the twist in this story...  Just remember, i love happy endings. I'm a sucker of a happy ending.

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