Maria left Becky and Scarlett to their own devices and settled on the couch to read an ebook. Given everything that's been happening, she hasn't had a chance to catch up on her to-read list yet.

Since she didn't bring any paperback books with her, and Nathan didn't appear to be too interested in romance books, she was stuck reading on her phone; which she usually only did at night time when the lights were off. Otherwise, she preferred a good hard copy.

It was late now and the boys still weren't back, so after they sorted out dinner, leaving plates for the boys in the fridge, her roomie was getting Scarlett settled for bed. Suddenly a squeal of delight sounded in the hallway and a pitter patter of little feet echoed into the living room, followed by a redheaded whirlwind of energy.

"I give up," Becky said, plopping her butt on the couch, leaving the four year old diving into her toy box, sweat beading on her roomie's forehead. "How does he do it and be a spy?"

"Years of practice I take it. Did you try reading to her?"

"That's your department."

"If you want to marry him, you'll need to get used to stuff like this."

"Fine," Becky huffed, as climbed off the couch again. She gathered the youngster in her arms and asked, "What's your favorite book?"

"Are You My Mother?" Scarlett replied.

Becky looked at Maria and all Maria could do was shrug. "Is that the name of the book?" her roomie asked, her voice hesitant.

"Yes," the young girl said, wiggling her way to the ground again. She took Becky's hand and pulled her down the hall to her bedroom.

Maria would have chuckled if the funny bone was anywhere in her body right now, but the bone lost its way after tonight's events.

If this was the life Becky wanted, then she'd have to get used to having a kid underfoot all the time. Maria couldn't imagine the day when she had finally have a kid of her own. Maria often thought of it, even hoped that she'd make a good mother one day; Be a bit less restrictive than her own mother was.

Clicking the button on her phone, she pulled up the book again and settled in to read. Next to Maria was a cup of hot cocoa. The only thing that could make this moment better was drawing a nice bubble bath. As she started to read the story, her mind kept on wanting to substitute the names of the characters for hers and Sylvester.

As she was reading, she must have dozed off because she woke up to the sound of keys being put in the lock and the door opening. The boys all rowdy tumbled into the house, punching and wrestling with each other.

She wasn't sure whether they were happy or just over energized from the day's activities. "Is everything okay? Did they find anything?"

"Nope, so if you guys feel safer, you are welcome to stay here for now. I wouldn't mind the adult company," Nathan said before nodding to Sylvester. "You and I can go pound the bag downstairs."

"Is that alright with you, Maria?" Sylvester asked.

"It depends on Becky's answer."

"Where are my girls?" Nathan asked.

"In Scarlett's room," Maria replied. "She was reading her a story last I checked."

She followed Nathan and Sylvester down the hallway to the girl's room, and they all peeked inside. Becky had her arm around Scarlett and the girl was resting her head in the crook of her shoulder, both sound asleep. The book was lying flat on the bed beside them, having rolled out of Becky's hand.

Nathan picked it up and frowned, sadness lurking in his handsome features. Maria knew he must be remembering Scarlett's mother. Every girl deserved a mother, even his eyes agreed to that testament. Placing the book on the night stand, he left the room.

"Go," she encouraged Sylvester, pushing him towards the door.

"What am I supposed to say," he whispered quietly.

"You'll think of something."

Sylvester groaned, but did as he was told. Wandering through the house, he eventually found Nathan in the gym in his basement. The man had almost every kind of exercise apparatus imaginable. The man was pounding his exercise bag with his bare fists.

"This place is awesome," Sylvester said. When the man didn't answer, he asked, "You okay?"

Nathan ran a hand through his already damp hair, as he huffed and puffed from attacking the bag. "Life's supposed to be simple, isn't it? You go to work. You come home. You live your life. How'd mine get so screwed up?"

"I can relate to that, man," Sylvester said as he walked over to the bar fridge, hoping like hell that the man had some beer hiding in there. "In just a few short weeks, I've nearly been killed twice and two women are dead because of me. I think that counts for screwed up, too. We deserve a beer." He tossed one to Nathan and then sat on the couch in the corner.

"Thanks," the man said, sitting on the other cushion, beer resting between his legs. "Seeing Becky in there with my daughter brings back so many memories. Her mother should still be here."

"What happened?"

"I was overseas working a job. I'm sure the girls told you about me working for the government, eh," Nathan looked at him and Sylvester nodded. "Well, I was shipped off in the dead of night only a few weeks after Scarlett was born. My wife, Olivia, suffered from depression and it just got worse each time I left. I couldn't tell her where I was going, so I lied, and she knew I was lying, too. In her letter she told me she felt trapped and this seemed to be the only way out."

"What did she do?"

"Jumped off the South Street bridge. Her purse was found in the middle of the bridge on the ledge where she apparently jumped from."

"I'm sorry, man," Sylvester said.

"Took a long time to pull myself together. My parents ended up raising Scarlett for the first year of her life while I worked non-stop because any time I stopped, my wife was all I could think about. And then I took a leave of absence to try and find my life again with my daughter, and then I met Becky.

"And my life is back in unchartered territories again. I'm not sure I can give her what she wants, but I also don't want to lose her. And seein' her with my baby girl...God, it just reminds me of Olivia all over again." Nathan laid his head back on the couch and closed his eyes.

"You know what my girlfriend did?"

Opening his eyes, Nathan glanced his way. "What?"

"Aborted my baby, even after I told her I wanted to keep it."

"Olivia threatened to do that when I was called overseas shortly after she found out. I knew she was slipping into depression and I didn't fight for her to get help. I didn't think she'd really do it. I was so stupid."

"Life really likes to throw curveballs, doesn't it?"

"You got that right!"

"If it helps you any, I may have just met the girls, but Becky is a strong woman and from what I can tell, she's got spirit and spunk, and she cares about you. If she didn't turn away from you after the secret you kept from her, you've got a keeper, man."

"I just don't think I can face another loss or put Scarlett through that."

Sylvester took a sip of his drink as he thought about what Nathan just said. He's been skimming through life by the skin of his teeth, ignoring every thought of a future happiness with one woman because of what Karen did. He's been as scared of loss as Nathan, so why was he pushing for Nathan to get involved when he wasn't willing to himself?

Since he's met Maria, he's lost two other people that he had cared about. Death was a very real possibility and it wasn't something that he could control. It was going to happen regardless of how hard he tried to prevent it. Things were going to happen, and all he could control was his own response to it. Life could be lived or he could just coast through life without really letting himself live it.

And if he was honest with himself, he wasn't really living his life. He wasn't building a legacy, wasn't letting himself build a future by staying in the rut. He should be treasuring whatever time he had with Maria. Live each day as if it were his last. He wasn't going to let the fear of death take one more minute of his life.

"Loss is going to come whether we want it to or not and pushing away the women in our life won't stop it from happening. Think about the life you want for Scarlett. Do you want her to live without a mother because you're afraid?"

"God, hit me where it hurts," Nathan said, slugging him in the shoulder.

Sylvester slugged him back good naturedly. Both of them sat there after that, lost in their own thoughts, trying to find their way through the darkness that's been a part of their life. He's lived so much of his life in that darkness, finding sexual fulfillment in his dark games, forgetting that the human heart was made for more.

And watching what Nathan and Becky were going through, and with all he's been through himself over the last while, maybe that's why his satisfaction levels for other women went down. His heart was crying out for more and that more was Maria.

"Life is so heavy," Nathan muttered.

"Maybe it's time we let in the light."

Nathan stood up and Sylvester pushed himself up off the couch as well. "I'm going to go talk to Becky."

"Good luck, man," Sylvester said, offering his hand in a manly clasp of newly bonded brothers and then he watched as the man left the room. As soon as whoever was attacking him was caught, he was going to make Maria his in every way that counted.

For now, he was going to squirrel away with her in a room and make wicked love to her. He needed to feel life after seeing the death of a close friend, and Maria...she was his new life. How he could feel that way after such a short time, he didn't know, but he did.

Turning off the light in the rec room, he went in search of his Maria...