I hugged the human-sized panda plushie and pushed my face on its soft back.
What had I done?
Or should it have been, what had I allowed Zack to do to me?
To make the situation even more complicated, I had actually come. Argh!
I wanted to bury myself somewhere deep in the woods till the world settled and till my guilt and shame subsided. But life didn't work like that, sadly.

*Knock-knock*
My head jerked right up, my breathing halting for a moment.
Who could it be?

"Sorry to disturb you ma'am, but Mr Raynatt is waiting for you in the dining room. He requests your presence... immediately." The hesitation at the end of her message made me overthink a little. From her voice, I could tell Jack might have said something harsh in order to get me out of my room.

I had heard him try to unlock the door about thirty minutes earlier, but I had ignored him. He had given up after a while minute of calling my name and demanding to be let in.
After returning from the woods, I had decided to use my old room instead of joining Jack in the master bedroom. For the obvious reason, I needed a shower badly after the mess we had created.
But also, I needed some space from Jack.
My instincts were still blaring sirens of warnings, prompting me to raise a barrier around my heart so I could see through any red flags.

"Okay!" I answered respectfully.

Yes, I was above them in both status and power, but I never did treat them badly or disrespectfully. Jack had taught me to be kind, and to treat others equally(unless they were enemies or his rivals).

My body felt sluggish under the warm bullets of water falling from above. And even more sluggish as I made my way downstairs.

The morning sunlight had already flooded the dining room from the large window, marking it with beautiful rays of red and pink, straight from a romantic novel.
While it wasn't unusual for him to be up so early in the morning, it was odd of him to wake me up for breakfast.

He would have either asked a servant to bring it up to my room or do it himself, along with his body.

"Took you long enough," Jack let out a complaint through smiling lips. As if I wouldn't notice the cold fire in those blue eyes which seemed to dim the sunlight like black holes.

"I'm not feeling-"

"Come here." He patted his thigh, indicating exactly where he wanted me to sit. The look on his face felt villainy and unsettling. Not even the smile on those lips managed to completely hide the rage surging behind it.

"I'll sit-" I declined pulling a chair a distance from his, "-here."

His eyebrows suddenly furrowed, creating creases that conveyed the negative emotions blowing tides in his chest.
"Annie!" There it was. A cold, furious yet soft tone.
The hand on the table had already succumbed to the pressure of his anger and was now balled up. One blow from it and the victim would feel like they had been struck by a rock.

"Don't be a disobedient little brat! You're supposed to obey anything I tell you!"

A wave of shock, anger, and cluelessness swept through my heart and soul, almost leaving my ears bleeding from what they had heard.
Jack had just insulted and degraded me.
The man I respected the most.
The man I loved.
The man I had been searching for for weeks.

It was him.
But not him at the same time.

Never had I seen that murderous scowl or felt the dark energy radiating from Jack's body. He was my Jack physically, but his soul seemed to be of a different person.

I felt something trickle down my face before it fell, dropping on the back of my hand...tears.
I was crying.
Jack had made me cry, again.
Or was I emotionally unstable due to my special state?

"Dammit!" He exhaled a curse, thrusting his chair back to get up.
Wearing an air of superiority, he walked right up to me and raised my head by pushing my chin up. "So now you're crying?"

I tried to slap his hand off of my face while turning my head to the side, but he caught my wrist in midair. Dammit!

"Let go," I murmured, feeling drained of any energy to argue to yell.

"I'm never letting go. Not you, and not what we have!" Jack breathed fiercely as he descended to my breathing range.
He forced a kiss on me, and that made my repulsion for him grow twice and deeply.

I tried to shove him as far away from me as possible, but curse his strong built physique and my weak state then. He didn't move a single inch, rather, he drew closer, trapping my body against his with his other arm while deepening the kiss.

Disgust.
Anger.
Pity.
Helplessness.
They all converged in my heart, fuelling the tears feeling from my eyes.

I could taste the sourness of the eye lubricant, and so could Jack.
And yet, he didn't bother comforting me or restricting his urges.

A knock from outside the dining room was what saved me. Whoever it was, I promised myself to double their salary.

"Argh!" Jack grumbled backing his head away without releasing my body.
"What?" He yelled impatiently.

"Sir, the food is ready."

"It can wait dammit!"

In his distraction, I snatched myself from his hold and dashed a safe distance from him. "I'm hungry," I said, before sitting on the nearest chair and looking to the side.

"Very well."
His eyes hardened once more, but I didn't care about his emotions. He had made it clear that he didn't care about mine either.
"Come in!" He permitted, and got back to his seat.

For five minutes, the room was void of any human conversation as the servants served the food. Once they were done presenting the delicious-looking meal, they vacated the room with shaky hands.

"Help yourself."

His attempt to clear the air landed on an acing heart, leading me to ignore his words and his presence entirely.

"So... Where were you last night?"
The knife slipped from my hand and clattered on the platter noisily.
A thick string of tension wound itself around my poor heart as my mind tried to come up with all sorts of answers.

Did he know I had left the house?

I studied his face silently before answering him, "Out. For a walk "

Jack stabbed a piece of his steak viciously as if it were an enemy. "A walk?"

"Yes."
I tried to remain as calm as possible.
If he knew that I had visited Zack, the consequences would have been dire.
Not like I had planned about whatever had happened between me and the other bastard, but I was still feeling guilty because it felt like I belonged there.

"Where exactly?"