Dedicated to lovemfb

How do you define darkness? Is it the absence of light or the end of hope? Is it the sky of shattered dreams or the land of broken hearts?

I chased the rabbit and laughed at how fast that little creature was. He looked cute and fluffy; the moment I had laid my eyes on him, I knew I wanted him; but he was playing hide and seek with me.

He ran around the trees in the meadow, making me tire. Taking my chance, I leaped over him, and finally, the cutie was in my hands.

I snuggled into him and cherished the softball in my hand. He wriggled in my hold and I can't help but enjoy the fact that he was mine now.

Suddenly, black clouds proclaimed the sky, and the meadow was engulfed in darkness. The meadow, which was once beautiful and enchanting, now wore a deserted look.

A big storm was moving towards me, destroying everything on its way. It was sucking me towards the darkness and I tried to run away from it. In a faraway land, a ray of light shined. I sprinted towards it.

I have always been afraid of the darkness. I wanted to reach the light, grasp it. But, with every step I took towards it, it floated away for me.

Suddenly the light was close to me. I raised my hand towards it...

I woke up with a start and looked around frantically, for a ray of light. In my anxiety all my eyes could perceive was darkness and I screamed in fear.

Like an avalanche, the hunting memories came rushing down on me. My heart started to beat fast and I could feel someone choking me. On the other side of the bed a pair of eyes observing me intently.

Suddenly the room was filled bright light and I was engulfed in a tight hug. "Hey! Are you ok?"

"Dark....Dark...He punish...dark...", I stuttered between my sobs.

"I am sorry. I had switched off the lights", his soothing and guilt-ridden voice was like a melody to my ears.

"Breath! Take small breaths first.", he rocked me gently, back and forth.

I followed his every word like a disciplined kid.

I didn't know how long we stayed that way, he whispering calming words to me and cradling like a baby.

After a long time, he was able to calm my nerves.

"Are you ok?"

I nodded and tried to get out of his embrace. I was too embarrassed to say a word.

As if reading my mind, he let go of me. He stood up from the bed, he seemed too awkward in his own room. He pulled his ear as if trying to rebuke himself, "Take some time to calm yourself and then get fresh. I will prepare some breakfast for us. If you need anything. I will be in the kitchen."

I looked around me and sighed in relief. Finally, I have reached the light.

I leaned towards the headrest of the bed and closed my eyes. The face of Rudr appeared in front of my eyes and I jerked my eyes open. I can't get attached to him no matter how good he was.

The movement of my bladder made me realized that I needed to use the washroom, but, I was in a stranger's house, I can't touch his things without his permission.

I made my way out of the room and looked around the house. His house was small but spacious. The colors of the rooms were soothing to the soul and the aura made me feel homelike. Home, a place which I didn't have any to claim, I finally found him in the kitchen cooking.

He could cook? Amazing. I always wanted a man who could cook maybe because I couldn't cook to save my life. My mother always tried to teach me cooking, which in the end resulted in the kitchen being nearly burned and my dad scolding ma for making his princess work.

I shook my head to erase all those beautiful memories which were now a haunting nightmare.

I stood there silently, not knowing how to approach him. I felt like I was invading his privacy. As if sensing my presence, he turned to look at me and smiled.

"Good morning." he wished.

I laughed in my mind at how to ease he could make me feel as if he hadn't witnessed a panic attack right in the other room.

I looked down and nervously said, "Morning."

"I was cooking omelets for breakfast. Is it ok with you?", he asked.

I nodded, too shy to answer.

"Why haven't you freshen up yet.", he inquired.

As if forgetting all the queries I had, I nodded and turn to make my way to the room when he stopped me.

I frowned at him, but he asked me to follow him.

He opened up his cupboard and took out a white t-shirt and a loose pajama, and placed them in my hands.

"Until we get you new clothes, you can use them.", he said.

I mumbled a thank you. I was embarrassed. Yes, it was very thoughtful of him. But, I have never borrowed clothes in my life.

"There is an extra toothbrush in the bathroom cabinet, you can also use it.", he suggested.

"Thanks.",

I entered the bathroom and closed the door.

I picked up the toothbrush and applied the toothpaste on it. I looked up in the mirror and didn't recognize the girl in front of me. Her face was covered with bandages and marks, her hair was in a messy bun and her eyes looked dead

I remembered my brother always saying that my eyes always shined with happiness and looking into my eyes made him feel content.

After brushing my teeth, I stripped myself and stood under the shower.

The cold water running over me and calming me.

I cleaned myself of his filthy touch. I rubbed my body until my hand ached.

I fell on the floor and sobbed silently. I cried for all the things I lost, for my family and friends, for my beautiful past, and finally for my spoiled future.