A/N

Wow, this book is so close to 10k reads. I honestly didn't think it would get this many and in such a short period.

I know you're probably wondering why I'm so excited when there are some books out there with 10k in the first few reads. But honestly, 10k is a lot for me. So thank you to those who vote/comment and also to my silent readers.

Long chapter because ily all <3

Excuse errors...

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bereavement:(noun)

plural noun: bereavements

The action or condition of being bereaved. "there is no right way to experience bereavement." -synonyms: loss, deprivation, dispossession, privation; grief, sorrow, sadness, suffering, hurt, trauma. "he is slowly getting over his bereavement." -death in the family, loss, passing, passing away, passing on, demise, decease, end, expiry, expiration; rare-quietus. "she suffered three bereavements in quick succession."

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"I see you at the bar, at the edge of my bed, backseat of my car, in the back of my head. I come alive when I hear your voice. It's a beautiful sound, it's a beautiful noise."

Song - Hey Angel

Artist - One Direction

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"Things aren't the way they were before, you wouldn't even recognize me anymore. Not that you knew me back then, but it all comes back to me in the end. You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart."

Song - In The End

Artist - Linkin Park

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Harry

The second the first tears fell from Joe's eyes I knew straight away something must have happened to her mother, but when the phone fell from her hand and she clutched her lower stomach I knew what happened.

"Joe?"

"Oh, god, please stop the car!" She released a painful cry as I engulfed her in my arms. "Harry, it h-hurts so much," Joe pointed to her stomach.

I thought she was talking about the news she had just received, but I saw a deep red damp area forming in her pants. Her hands shakily touched the area, revealing bright red metallic liquid.

Panic instantly over took me.

Fuck!

"Get us to the hospital now!" I ordered the driver.

Joe's breathing and pain had rapidly increased by the time we arrived at the Royal Melbourne Hospital, the back seat was covered in her blood.

I phoned the hospital before hand saying no one is allowed to know about our arrival, so when we arrived I carried Joe into a side entrance.

"Harry I'm scared," She cried gripping my shirt. "I-I'm having a miscarriage! I killed our baby's," Joe sobbed into my chest as I carried her down a narrow hall.

I press a kiss to her cheek saying, "It'll be alright Joe,"

"How can you say th-"

"I love you." I cut her off, this time I left a kiss on the corner of her mouth.

Joe was taken from me and I was told to wait in a small room in the private area of the hospital. I paced around the room, my mind kept trying to tell me everything would be okay but reality told me otherwise.

Maybe I shouldn't have had sex with her on the jet.

Fuck!

What if it's all my fault?

She was so weak when they took her away, it was like the life in her eyes was fading. I can't lose her, I just can't. I don't know what I'd do if I did, Joe Hemmings is my everything and I am nothing without her.

As I run a hand through my short curls I feel the first tear drip down my cheek leaving a trail of dampness behind it.

Before I know what I was doing, I had my phone in my hand and dialled a number.

"Hello?" Her voice was like an angel's voice ringing in my ears. "Who is this?" I've missed her voice so much. "Whoever this is, I can hear your bre-"

"Mum, i-it's Harry,"

"Harry? Oh my god, my little Harry?" I heard a sob come through the phone. "Say it again,"

"Mum, it's Harry," I repeated.

She gasped. "It is you! Harry! I never thought I'd hear from you again, you and your friend Neill dropped off the-"

"It's Niall," I corrected her. I haven't spoken to my mother for months, I just put money into her bank account without her knowing. "I'm sorry," I croaked out. "I'm sorry for not contacting you, I-" My voice broke at the end and a sob ripped through my chest.

"Harry? Is everything okay?" I could hear the concern laced within her voice. "What's happened?"

So for the next thirty minutes, I explained everything to my mum, she was overjoyed I had finally found someone to love and said she gave me her blessing to marry Joe. I apologized for losing contact with her and I also told her about my reunion with Gemma.

"Mum it's been ages since they took her, what if she's-"

"She'll be fine Harry, Joe Hemmings sounds like she's a fighter." Mum tried to reassure me but I couldn't the feeling that something terrible happened.

I sobbed into the phone, tears flowing freely from my eyes now. "You didn't see her face mum, she was so pale when they took her and h-her eyes looked dull and lifeless,"

"Harry listen me," Mum spoke softly. "She will be fine and-"

"Mr Styles?" I spun on my heels to find a male blonde haired doctor standing at the opened door with a clipboard in his hand. "I'll give you a minute." He pointed to my phone.

I gave him a nod. "Mum I have to go, the doctors here."

"Alright darling, please keep informed."

"I will-"

"And Harry?"

"Yes?"

"I love you,"

I gasped, using the back of my hand I wiped tears from my cheeks. "And I love you, mum."

Shortly after we exchanged our goodbyes I turned to face the doctor, his face had a frown on it and lips were pulled into a straight line.

"Mr Styles, I'm Doctor Jonathan, I-"

"How are they? How are the twins? And Joe?" I cut him off.

He shook his head, the high blonde ponytail swinging from side to side. "I am so sorry Mr Styles," My heart sank. "We tried everything we could, but-"

"Just tell me, please, is my fiancee alright?"

"Joe Hemmings lost a lot of blood, due to her other injuries, she's very weak-"

"Is she okay? Stop beating around the fucking bush!"

Doctor Jonathan frown deepened. "Yes, Ms Hemmings is fine, she will recover nicely. However-"

"We lost the twins," I spoke for him.

"Not exactly," He walked over to me, looking me in the eye. "She suffered from fetal resorption."

"What is that?"

"Fetal resorption also known as vanishing twin syndrome is when one of the twins gets absorbed by the other, or by the placenta in this case. However in me saying this, you are indeed still pregnant."

I gave him a blank expression, "I'm sorry? I thought you said we lost the twins?"

"That is correct Mr Styles, were you aware of the third fetus?" My jaw dropped. "I would say no," he chuckled but his face remained with a frown. "Your wife-"

"Fiancee,"

"My apologizes," He looked down at the clipboard. "Your fiancee had a multiple pregnancy; she was carrying triplets. However, two of these were in the same bag meaning they would've been identical boys, while the female has its own bag."

"Unfortunately, one of the males has been absorbed by the placenta along with the female, this caused the bleeding and pain." He explained but I swear all I heard was, triplets, and losing two. "The remaining male twin seems to be in good health. I am terribly sorry for your loss Mr Styles."

"We lost a son and a daughter."

Doctor Jonathan spent the next ten minutes explaining to me about this fetal resorption and how the surviving triplet could still be at risk, he blamed stress for the miscarriage.

I was still trying to understand how it could happen so quickly and also how Calum missed the third baby back in London.

"Can I see her? Can I see Joe?" Doctor Jonathan looked up from his clipboard and gave a nod. "Thank you, and please keep our visit here private. I don't want the media knowing my where'bouts."

"Of course Mr Styles, I understand. Please follow me." He leads me from the room and into a narrow corridor, we turned a corner and stopped outside of a locked door. "Your wif--fiancee is unaware of the multiple miscarriages, she does not know-"

"About the triplets," I finished his sentence causing him to nod.

He unlocked the door, wishing me luck before opening it. I stepped in and closed the door behind me.

"H-Harry?"

I felt my heart break the second my eyes landed on her. Joe is laying on a bed, an IV drip in one of her wrists but that's not what made me almost burst into tears.

She was holding a pregnancy book in her hands, her cheeks stained with wet tears as more fell.

I approached the heartbroken woman whom I love, I sat beside her and engulfed her in my arms. No words were spoken for a long period of time, we just held each other. Joe's crying died down, her body stopped trembling before she spoke.

"I-it's my fault," She blamed herself, just like I thought she would. "H-Harry, I-"

"Hey," I placed my hand under her chin and lifted it up to look at her. "Joe, don't blame yourself, it wasn't your fault okay?"

"B-but it was!" She argued. "Everything was my fault! I didn't get to see mum before s-she died! I didn't get to see my dad either, and now I lost our babies." She hiccuped. "Everyone keeps leaving me. Harry, it's only a matter of time before you do too!"

I was debating whether or not tell her about the triplets, instead, I said, "You didn't lose both," My hand ran down her chest and to her stomach. "We're still pregnant," I told her.

Joe looked down to where my hand was rubbing small circles across her stomach. "W-what?"

"The Doctor said one survived," I kissed Joe's forehead, my hand still on her stomach. I felt guilty for not telling her about the triplets but it was for the best. If she knew she lost two, it would hurt her even more.

"C-can we have a funeral for the one we lost?" She asked, placing one of her hands over mine. "I want to remember it."

"Her," I corrected Joe. "We lost a daughter." And a son, I wanted to add but didn't.

Joe's red and puffy eyes locked with mine. "Can we have a funeral for her?"

"Of course babe," I leant my forehead against hers. "And I know the perfect place to bury her."

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A/N

Longest chapter I've written so far.

But what on earth is Harry doing? He shoulda told her bout the triplets...

💔💔 My heart when writing this chapter 😭