HIS SUICIDAL GIRL
❝I met the guy with his smile when my pen started to phlebotomize, and my fate has begun writing a new story.❞

12 - You Have Changed, Xia

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●ZACHREY●

A few days have passed since the Division Level Press Conference and much has changed since that day. Of all the people I know, maybe Bea is the only one who has not changed because we still talk to each other like before.

A lot has changed but there was one person who changed entirely.

"What did you say? Xiamin? Changed? Maybe just not in the mood? You know how the mind of that Yandere works," said Cj while eating a burger.

"No. The way she looked at me, it was so... different," I said.

Then Cj asked, "Different how?"

"I'm not sure I follow you, Bro," he said. "When I met Xiamin the Yandere, she was not like that."

"I don't even know. All of a sudden, her attitude towards me changed."

"She just turned down your offer to have lunch with you, right? I don't think that's enough proof for you to say that," she said after buying a burger for his lunch.

We are here now in the canteen because we still have a lunch break. Our Math teacher was having a seminar, so we just chilled. Math is our first subject in the afternoon and we have nothing else to do today.

"At first that's what I thought," I said. "However, when I saw her yesterday and called her, she just gave me a bored look. Her face has no emotions, Cj. She seems to be mad at me."

I bought the water first. After receiving my bottled water, I left the queue and went back to talking to Cj.

"Based on what I saw of her yesterday, she treated her classmates well." I drank water first before continuing what I said. "You remember Bea, right? When I came to ask her about Xia, she said she treated Bea well. According to her, Xiamin looked very normal and in her usual self."

We thought about going up the building to our classroom. The canteen was very crowded and there was no other place for us to stand by.

"Shit, Bro!" I jumped slightly in shock due to Cj's sudden rise in voice. "Did you make Xiamin the Yandere cry during your contest, Zachrey?!"

Some students who were cleaning the stairs on the second floor diverted their attention to Cj when she raised his voice.

"Lower your voice, Cj. Stop catching other people's attention, for crying out loud." I calmed him down because he was starting to freak out.

"Just answer me, Zachrey! Did you make her cry, or did you make her cry?"

"I am ashamed of your choices. I didn't, okay?! Why would I do that to her?! " I could not help myself anymore to raise my voice, too.

"Boys, no shouting at the stairs. Besides, you are blocking the way. " Cj and I quickly stepped aside when we saw a teacher on the stairs looking at us.

"Our apologies and good afternoon, Ma'am!" We both apologized in unison.

The teacher only gave us a nod before continuing descending the stairs.

"See?" I elbowed Cj. "I told you to lower your voice, but you refused to listen."

"As far as I remember, I didn't tell you to raise your voice, too."

"You raised your voice at me first, so I couldn't help myself not to, okay?" He half-raised his hand in the mid-air.

"Fine, fine," he said, and we continued up to the fourth floor where our classroom was.

I got nervous back there. I thought that teacher was going to give us a citation slip or a punishment or whatever. I was just so glad that she seemed to be a kind and understanding one.

"Zachrey, you still haven't answered my question yet."

"I did, Cj. No way. I didn't make Xia cry," I said.

We just arrived on the fourth floor of our building. Some students have already entered their classrooms because the class was about to start soon.

Cj walked over to me first. He suddenly stopped outside our classroom, so I stopped, too. He then turned to face me. I could not see what was behind him because somehow, he blocked my view.

"Then, you have to settle things with Xiamin the Yandere, Zachrey," he said, as he looked pretty seriously at me. "Once and for all."

"What do you mean?" I asked, very confused.

Why would I settle things with Xia when I did not do anything wrong that might offend her?

He got a facepalm and said, "Are you that numb to not notice?"

Honestly, I still did not get what he said. He was not making any sense to me at all. Not one bit.

"You still don't get it, do you? " He saw right through me. He released a sigh of defeat. "Dude, I know you're a lazy-smart ass guy, but I never thought you would be this slow when it comes to love," he said which further confused me.

"Cj, I don't care if you call me a lazy-smart ass guy, but I still don't get what you mean." My head hurt a bit because of the words that came out of his mouth. "How did the conversation end up in love─"

"I know, I know, I get it! I understand that you don't get a single damn thing so," He nodded and sighed again. "let's stop right here, and start settling things with Xiamin maybe tomorrow. I want to go with you because I want to tease my cousin. For now, I will sleep in the room first."

"But, Cj..." He stopped when he was about to enter the classroom and looked at me again. "Do you think she'll forgive me? If ever I did something wrong to her that I did not notice?"

It took a minute first before he gave me an answer and smiled.

"Of course. You're a good guy, Zachrey. I'm confident she will forgive you, too," he said which somehow, eased my feelings. "so let us both deal with that problem tomorrow, okay? Let's just chill here in the classroom first because we rarely have vacant time."

I laughed at what he said, and we entered the classroom. When we entered the room, Cj immediately sat down on his chair. Besides, we were sitting next to each other. When he sat down, he fell asleep immediately. I just laughed again because he was fast asleep even though it was noisy here in the classroom.

Anyway, all I could do was follow Cj's advice. I have known him better and his ideas were always right. I silently looked outside the window, wondering if Xia and I would go back to normal and would get along.

◊◊◊◊◊

"Crystal? No, she isn't here today. She's having training with Ma'am Jehr," said one of Xia's female classmates.

I indeed followed Cj's advice yesterday that we will talk to Xia now. It was still lunchtime, so probably she was taking her lunch in Coach's faculty.

"Is Les also not here?" Cj asked.

"Les?" The girl first looked at their classroom before answering my friend's question. "Also not here. She's most likely with Xia right now. Those two are inseparable."

Cj and I just sighed.

"Why don't we just go to Ma'am Jehr's faculty?" Cj suggested, and I just nodded.

But even before we left, Xia's classmate spoke again.

"Just a moment. Are you Zachrey Mizuno?" Cj and I exchanged curious glances because of her question.

"Yes, I am," I replied.

"Can I take a picture with you?" She took out her phone and handed it to Cj. "Hey, can you take a picture of us?"

I just laughed at Cj's reaction while taking a photo of us. The photo looked pretty good and the girl who asked to take a picture with me thanked both of us after.

"Takte, that woman didn't even say 'please' to me," Cj said, so I just laughed at him anew. "Dude, you ain't a prominent Hollywood actor and yet, someone already asked to talk a picture with you. How much more if you are already a successful actor?"

"Don't say that. I have no plans to become an actor. It's just way too much of a drag for me."

"But did you notice something about that girl? It looked like she was hesitating," he said.

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Maybe she was just shy to approach since she didn't really know us, and so did we. That's normal, isn't it?"

We are now walking towards Coach's faculty.

"You got a point. Prolly just my imagination," There was a short pause. "but I wish all famous." I just laughed again at what he said.

We passed a lot of students saying 'Hi' to me and somehow, it was exhilarating.

"Zachrey." I stopped when Cj suddenly called my name.

I looked at him when he extended his arm to point at something. When I followed it, I saw Xia and Les in front of us. Our eyes met and it felt like all of the questions I wanted to ask, and all the words I wanted to say to Xia were gone.

"Les!" Cj greeted Les.

I was hurt when Xia first took her eyes off me as if she did not want to see me for the rest of her life.

"P-Ponyo? What the hell are you doing here? " I heard Les asked while pointing at the two of us.

"This is our school, Cuz. Maybe you forgot?" Cj joked with Les.

"I don't have time to fool around with you, Ponyo. Do you understand? Let's go, Xia─ " Les was about to pull Xia away when Cj immediately blocked the way.

"No, you can't, Cuz. You cannot leave until further notice."

"Excuse me? And why is that? What kind of nonsense is this, huh?"

"Ah! By the way, there is a newly opened ice cream store in the canteen. You love ice cream, don't you? Let's check it out." After Cj said that, he did not say anything as he pulled Les so she could release Xia.

"H-Huh? There's a new ice cream store? But we just got there! Why didn't I see it?" Les wanted to remove Cj's hand that was holding hers, but he was just way stronger than her. She was not able to do anything, so she just yelled at both of us. "X-Xiamin, Zachrey, wait for us there! I will come back to you two!"

I noticed Xia smiled.

"We will!" she said. Then, her full attention turned back to me. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

I was surprised.

"H-How did you k-know?" Shit! Calm down, Zachrey. Do not falter.

"Your eyes are transparent. I can see right through them," she said. "But first, let's step aside first because we are blocking the way."

"O-Okay." We both stepped aside so that we could not block the road.

So, she can read the eyes of people now? How fascinating. Cj's eyes were the only ones that I could read. But still, it does not change the fact that her voice was like ice.

"Are you mad at me?" I saw how surprised she was by my question. I looked into her eyes, and she gave me that 'Why-would-I-be-mad-at-you?' look. "Because when we were still at the presscon, the way you used to treat me changed. Not just that, the way you looked at me these past few days also changed. Did I do something wrong? Did I do something wrong to you that I did not realize?"

"N-Nothing..." She looked away from me, and at that time, I knew she was hiding something. "I'm not mad at you, Zachrey."

"Then why can't you look at me in the eye?" I asked. "Why can't you say that while looking at me?"

I looked at her left wrist as she touched it again. There were still bandages wrapped around it. I was not sure, but it looked like she was in pain.

"Xia, what happened to your left wrist? Why is it wrapped in bandages?" Her eyes widened at my question. "Kindly answer me, Xia."

She hid her left wrist behind her back. She would not dare to throw me even a single glance.

"Xia, an─"

"Stop asking about it!" I was surprised when she suddenly raised her voice. "All of you are just asking about what the hell happened on my wrist! I said I was fine, okay?! Is that arduous for the likes of you to comprehend?!"

I blinked a few times because she was suddenly angry. Her face even turned a little red because of that. I also could not quite read what her eyes were shouting. However, from what I have observed, it yelled in sadness and anger.

"Xia, I'm just worried about you, okay?" I tried to come closer to her but she pushed me away.

"Then, stop worrying! I don't need that, Zachrey! "

"Xia, why are you shouting?"

"Because you all can never understand what I'm feeling!" I was surprised when I suddenly heard a sob from her.

We managed to grab the attention of other students, and I became conscious of what they thought because they might think I had hurt Xia.

"Shit, Xia! Why are you crying?" I asked her. I also could not help but be confused because it was the first time I saw her cry. "People will think that I hurt you."

"Idiot, is that all you think about?" she finally uttered that in a soft voice between her cries. "You know nothing."

"Yeah, that's why I'm asking you what the problem is."

"It doesn't matter now, does it?"

She raised her head and wiped her tears using the back of her hand. I was surprised by what she did next. She gave me a feeble smile and with that alone, it sent a sudden electricity-like feeling inside of me.

"Xia ... You have changed." I could not explain how I feel right now. It was like at any time I would explode for some reason that I could not comprehend.

"I guess so," she nodded slowly. "but I think it's for the best. After all, it might give peace to my feelings towards you, Zachrey."

My eyes widened again, and my heartbeat grew even stronger. She looked up to the sky, and as her hair danced with the wind, I could see no other people aside from her. I could not even feel myself. It was as if Xia was the only focal point of the book I wanted to write.

"W-What do you mean, Xia?"

I saw a single tear fell from her left eye.

"You know, Zachrey, I've always loved everything about rain. But at least once in my life, I want a legit clear blue sky," she said, neglecting the tears seeping from her forlorn eyes. "and I want that clear blue sky to be a loyal someone."

I blinked a few times. With the words that came out of his mouth, I could not move or even speak. Much has happened today. I had a hard time sinking everything in my brain.

"Away from all the dramas and despondencies ... I want that in my life." She looked at me again and raised her left wrist with a bandage. "You want to know what happened to this, right?"

I gulped and nodded. My heartbeat is so strong that it is one of the reasons why I have difficulty breathing. She started walking towards me that made me tremble even more.

As she walked passed through me, she whispered something in my ear that left me dumbfounded.

"I cut it, Zachrey. I'm such a self-problematic, suicidal girl."