Dear Diary,

I don't even know why I'm writing 'Dear Diary'. Just wanted to have same feelings as Elena of The Vampire Diaries.

Today was my first day in my new school. I assumed I will never make any new friends after what Suzanne did to me. But I was wrong. I met such nice people in that school. Waliyha, Lottie and Hazel, also their friends and brothers except for that one guy, Waliyha's brother, the popular obnoxious 'fake bad boy' of school; Zayn Malik. Even his name makes me cringe although I just met him today. People fall in love at first sight, but us; we fell in hate at first sight. Our meeting was actually not so good, because from the very first moment, we were yelling at each other. Just because my speghatti accidently fell on him, he started acting as Regina George (Mean Girls). I hate him already and I know this hate won't change, ever.....

I start laughing as soon as I read what I had written in my diary three years ago. So Zayn and I never clicked each other, since the beginning. He seems like a total idiot, to be honest. I wonder if the hate changed in these years because I don't think it did. I turn over the pages and finally reach the page of a year later after my first day of school.

Dear Diary,

I'm still trying to be Elena.

Can I just say how much I hate that Mr. Know It All?

My eyes widen when I read it.

Mr. Know It All.

"Your Mr. Know It All," Zayn's word from that night cross my mind. I guess, that was something I used to call him. I laugh to myself and read further.

That stupid person has been irritating me by calling me 'Nerdy' in front of everyone. I JUST HATE THAT NICKNAME SO MUCH! I want to kill him. I wish I could murder him. He always finds his way to annoy me. It has been an year, and our hatred towards each other has still not ended and I'm hundred-NO! THOUSAND percent sure that our world war three will never end....

"Take care, Nerdy." My mouth falls open when again his words from that night, cross my mind. I flip some more pages and start reading the paragraph written a year later.

Dear Diary,

IT'S BEEN TWO YEARS AND HE STILL HASN'T STOPPED ANNOYING AND IRRITATING ME! If he wasn't my best friend's brother, I would have killed that fake bad boy, a long time ago....

I keep reading the paragrapghs written in my diary and flip the pages, my vision getting blurry and head starts pounding. My diary drops from my hands as I tightly clutch my head in pain.

"Nerdy!"

"Mr. Know It All!"

"Shut up or else I'll kill you, Malik!"

"You just want to be near me all the time, Nerd!"

The sentences keep playing in my head as visions of two blurry figures standing in long hallways, cross my mind. I clutch my head harder, as the pain gets worse by each second and I scream. I try to stand up from my bed, but I collapse on the floor in pain. I look at my doorway when a figure standing there runs towards me.

"Mel? Mel, are you okay?" I hear faint voices, when the visions stop and I look up at him.

"Louis," I say, and Louis helps me lie on my bed. He quickly hands me the glass of water and helps me drink it.

"Are you alright?" He asks me, worriedly and sits beside me on the bed. I nod and rest my head on the pillow, closing my eyes.

"Babe, you should rest for a while, yeah?" He says and I open my eyes to look at him. I nod and he smiles, getting up from my bed. He covers me with the duvet and leans forward to kiss my forehead. Although I don't remember him, or the memories with him, but I can say that he takes care of me a lot. But the thing is, I don't know him. I don't know what kind of relationship we had, all I know is his name and that he's Lottie's, my best friend's brother and my boyfriend.

He turns over to leave when I grab his hand, and he turns back to look at me. "Can you stay with me for a while?" I ask him and a smile finds it's way on his lips as he nods, sitting on my bed, beside me.

"I know we have been in a relationship for a month but..Louis, I don't remember anything. I..uh.. don't know you or us. Before rushing into things, I want to know you better." I say, looking up at him and he plays with the hem of his shirt.

He sighs and looks up at me. "Sure,"

I slightly smile at him and close my eyes, slowly driffting off to sleep.

-----

"WAKE UP, sleeping beauty!" I hear girlish voices yell. Before I can open my eyes, I feel someone jump on my bed.

"Wake up, Mel! We have to do so many things!" I hear Hazel scream in my ears, as I feel so many hands nudge me from every where.

"Go away, let me sleep. I'm not well." I groan, covering my face with the pillow.

"Doctor said, you're perfectly fine now. Get your lazy ass up, right now!" Lottie screams in my ears.

"Go away!" I yell, throwing my pillow at her.

"I guess I have to bring the bucket now," I hear that curly head's voice, Harry, yeah. I quickly open my eyes and get up, hearing them crack up.

"Hate you, Styles." I groan, and throw the pillow on him as well.

My room is surrounded by almost everyone right now, including, Hazel, Waliyha, Lottie, Eleanor, Harry, Niall and Louis.

"Where are the other three?" I ask them.

"Sophia and Liam are going on a date tonight, and Zayn will catch up with us later." Waliyha informs me and I nod.

"Why are you all at my home?" I ask them, confusingly. My room looks so tiny right now that I feel suffocated. It's not that I don't want them to be here, but I used to stay alone all day in my room, three years ago.

"That's rude. But we are here to take you for shopping and then later we are going for movie at Harry's house." Hazel informs and I raise my eye brow at the word 'Shopping'. People can say that I'm not one of those shopoholic girls.

"We're watching Titanic, since you don't remember anything, and Titanic isn't something a person can forget about." Harry says, grinning, excitingly.

"Harold, she lost memories of three years. Not her whole life, 'course she remembers Titanic." Niall, smacks Harry on his head, making Harry blush in embarrassement and I laugh at them. With friends like these, I surely want my memories back.

-----

"Why are we even shopping?" I whine for the twentieth time tonight, and Lottie glares at me each time I whined. The boys had left for Harry's house, where as Lottie, Waliyha, Hazel, Eleanor and I are roaming around the shopping mall, looking for dresses.

"We're shopping for the party before our summer break." Eleanor informs me, checking out a gorgeous white flare dress.

"Which party?" I ask them, cluelessly and again gain a glare from Lottie because I dropped her dresses which I was holding in my hands.

"Our school has aranged a ball kind of party this year, before we go on summer break. Summer ball you can say." Waliyha informs me, stepping out from the dressing room, wearing a light green lace dress, reaching her knees.

"Woah! You look stunning!" We squeal and she giggles checking her out in the full length mirror.

"Mel, what dress did you choose?" Eleanor asks me, stepping out from the dressing room in a sleeveless stripped pleated dress which looks absolutely beautiful on her perfect figure.

"You look amazing in this," I smile at her. "And I'm confused," I sigh, roaming around the shop. When it comes to shopping, I'll be the world's most confused person ever. My phone blinks in my hand and I receive a text from an unknown number.

From Unknown:
Try the pink one on the fifth row.

I squint my eyes in confusion and look around the shop. Finding no one in the shop who can text me this, I look outside the shop and find no one outside as well.

To Unknown:
Who are you?

From Unknown:
Or you can try the black one too since you love black. But the pink one will look good.

Okay, this is creepy. Is anyone stalking me? How does he or she know that I love black colour? I again look around the shop, and find no one.

From Unknown:
Don't worry Im not a stalker. Was just passing by the shop when saw you confused as ever so thought of helping. Stop looking around for me and try the dress.

To Unknown:
Who are you?

I again text that person and wait for the reply, when I don't get one. I walk towards the fifth row, and pick up the pink cocktail dress. I again look around, failing to see anyone suspicious. I sigh and walk into the dressing room, changing into the light pink cocktail dress. I stare at myself in the full length mirror and I have to admit, it looks good. I step out of the dressing room and hear gasps and squeals from Waliyha, Lottie, Hazel and Eleanor.

My phone again blinks and I receive the text from the same number.

From Unknown:
Buy it.

Before I can reply to that person, I again get a text from them.

From Unknown:
Oh and yeah see you at Harry's place Nerdy. :p

I groan when I see the nickname. God! This guy is creepy. At first he intruded in my room and now he's stalking me like a creeper.

To Unknown:
Just a friendly reminder,
I HATE YOU. YOU SCARED ME!!!

From Unknown:
Love you too babe :) x

I roll my eyes at the text and continue shopping with the girls. After a long time, we finally finish our shopping and head towards Harry's house. Niall opens the door and we enter the living room, to already find Harry, Louis and that stupid person seated on the couch with popcorns.

"Finally you guys came. I'm never watching a movie with any one of you." Harry complains, shifting on the floor and Hazel smacks his head, seating herself next to him. My eyes land on Zayn who stares back with a straight face. Waliyha and Lottie quickly take their seats on one couch, while Eleanor sits on the right side of Louis on the other couch with Zayn. Before I can sit next to Louis' left, Niall quickly comes and takes the place laughing at me.

"I was already sitting here. You can sit next to your best friend." Niall laughs, pointing at Zayn and I glare at him.

"You can sit next to him. Let me sit here." I force him but he shakes his head, making himself comfortable on the couch.

"Once I'm seated, I'm seated." He laughs at me and I smack his arm, walking towards Zayn's side.

"Move," I order Zayn in a stern tone. He raises his eyebrow at my tone and scoots away so that I can sit.

"Hey to you too, best friend." He says in a slow tone, sarcastically.

"Shut up." I snap.

"Aren't you the friendly type?" He adds slowly, showing sarcasm in his tone.

"More than you can imagine," I say through clenched teeth. Before he can continue, Harry plays the movie and turns off the lights.

"Plus, stop being a creep. You scared me at the mall and at my home too." I whisper, with my eyes fixed on the screen ahead.

"Oh you like it when I do such things. It's not new, Babe." He cooly says, trying not to be loud. Did he just call me Babe? I bite my lip and take a deep breathe, trying my best not to flatter on his words.

"I'm not your 'Babe'."

"Okay, Nerd-"

"Don't you dare call me that!" I whisper, making him slightly laugh.

"Can we watch the movie if you two allow us?" Harry complains from the front making us roll our eyes at him.

"Not that you're watching it for the first time, Harold." Zayn says and Harry groans, turning up the volume of the movie and ignoring Zayn's comment.

I chuckle at them and pay attention to the movie, so does Zayn. The whole time I could feel his eyes on me. It felt like he was studying my face, smiling when I laughed at something, and frowning whenever a tear fell from my eyes.

"Now adays, no one loves anyone truly." I mutter to myself, when Jack's frozen body falls deep in the water.

"There still are people who are in love with someone more than anything and anyone." Zayn states, only loud enough for me to hear. I slowly turn my head to look at him. His eyes leave the screen, and look straight in mine.

"People have forgotten the meaning of the word 'Love'." I say, looking at him and he chuckles, shifting his eyes to his feet.

"Just because you didn't figure it out that doesn't mean you can say that for everyone else." He says and I raise my eyebrows at him.

"Excuse me? What makes you say that?" I exclaim only loud enough for us to hear.

"In actual, you are the one who doesn't know the meaning of the word love." He says cooly, making me feel anger inside me. Who the hell he thinks he is? He thinks he knows about each and everything.

"I know what love is. I had loved someone before, but only got betrayal in return." I say through clenched teeth.

"But that doesn't mean you can't love again." He shrugs his shoulders.

"You're saying as if you're an expert." I roll my eyes at him and sigh.

"I'm in love with someone and I know how it feels." He says, making me quiet. I bite my lip and look at him, then again turn my attention back to the movie. I didn't know that a guy like Zayn can be in love with someone. I mean, he looks like the kind of guy who would date a different girl every month.

"Does that person know about it?" After a while I speak up. I don't even know why I'm continuing the conversation but let's just say that I'm curious.

"She doesn't." He replies, sighing.

"Why don't you tell her?" I ask him, my eyes still fixed on the screen in front of us.

"I tried to tell her, but it didn't end well." He mutters. I turn my attention back at him and find him quite serious.

"Did she slap you?" I start laughing.

"Thank you for being so rude. She didn't slap me, but..something happened to her." He says, playing with his fingers. I stop laughing and look at him in shock.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry to hear that. May she rest in peace." I gasp and cover my mouth.

His eyes widen and he looks at me in shock. "Woah, Woah! Wait. She's not dead. Are you seriously killing your ownself?.. no no no no, what I mean is that, she's not dead." He quickly says, moving his hands back and forth while he keeps shaking his head vigorously.

I give him a confused look and start laughing again. I cover my mouth so that no one could hear. "I'm sorry, but by your way of telling, I thought she died." Shit. It's so embarrassing. Why am I so awkward?

"I can't even imagine that, she means a lot to me." He says, shaking his head and I control my laugh.

"You love her a lot, don't you?" I ask him, resting my head on the back. He sighs and does the same, facing me. No one seems to notice us right now. They're too busy in the movie.

"More than anyone can imagine. But it doesn't mean anything to her." He says still looking in my eyes.

"She doesn't love you back?" My eyes narrow in confusion as I look at him.

"I don't know. That's something she has to figure out," he shrugs his shoulders and looks away from me, staring at the TV screen ahead. "She doesn't even like me." I didn't have an idea she doesn't like him, I mean, he's good looking and attractive. His way of speaking and personality can make girls drool over him. He's not that bad looking actually. Well, he's not at all bad looking.

"Tell me about her," I say, and he turns his face to look at me, raising his eye brow. I never imagined talking about these stuff with him, I don't know what I'm doing.

"Are we seriously having this conversation?" He asks me, raising his eye brows.

"I'm getting bored, so yeah, we are having this conversation otherwise I would prefer killing mosquitoes rather than talking to you." I say cooly, shrugging my shoulders. I lift my legs up and bring them closer to my chest, hugging them.

"I really appreacite your rudeness. But I don't talk to rude people about the love of my life." He says and I chuckle.

"I wonder if she loves a stupid person like you. There could be 0.5 percent chances though, so don't lose hope." I smile, patting his shoulders encouragingly. He glares at me and rolls his eyes.

"Thanks for the encouragement." He says in a sarcastic tone and I laugh which makes him smile. I look at Louis from the corner of my eyes and find him busy talking to Eleanor. I don't know, but since I discharged from the hospital, all they both do is talk about each other to me, or stay engaged in their own conversations.

"Are they like close to each other?" I ask Zayn, gesturing towards Eleanor and Louis.

"I don't know much, because when she joined the school, I left for three weeks. But since I came back, I noticed her and Lou as great friends." He says, shrugging his shoulders and I slowly nod.

My phone starts ringing and I get up, excusing everyone and walk upstairs, to one of the balconies of Harry's house. The house is pretty much similar to mine, so I quickly figured out the balcony.

"Hey Barry," I answer my brother's call as he asks me about my health and finally brings up the main topic.

"We've talked about it before at Sam's wedding, but I hope Mum informed you again. Are you ready to come here?" He asks me and I look below, tracing my fingers on the railing of the balcony.

I take a deep breathe, before answering him. "Yeah,"

"That's great, I've mailed your ticket already. You'll be coming here in this month." He informs me and I hum, saying bye to him and ending the call.

Did I take the right decision? Even if I stay, there isn't a reason for me.

I stare at the streets and houses of London from Harry's balcony. I'm going to miss my home and these people although I don't know them properly, but I'm sure I had spent great times with each one of them.

"Oh sorry, I didn't know you were in this room." I hear Zayn's voice from behind me. I turn around to face him, and see a lit cigarrete in his hand.

He turns around to leave, but I stop him and he walks forward. He stands next to me and stares at the quiet houses in front of us.

"Smoking is not good for your health," I say, not looking at him and hear him mumble something, which I couldn't figure out.

"We've had this conversation many times before," he says, blowing some smoke in the air. I turn my face and look at him, moving my hand forward.

"Give it to me," I say.

"I won't let you throw it away," he says, shaking his head.

"I won't. I want to try it,"

His face suddenly snaps in my direction and he stares at me in shock. With wide eyes, he shakes his head.

"What?" I ask him.

"There is no way on earth, I'm letting you try this." He says in a scolding tone.

"Why?" I ask him, trying to grab the cigarrete from his hands.

"It's dangerous, it's not good for your health. I won't let you try it." He says, scooting away from me.

"That's what I told you before." I say in a calm tone. He stops and stares at me silently. Sighing, he finally throws the cigarrete on the floor, stepping on it.

"You're a manipulator," he says and I chuckle.

We shift our gazes away from each other, and continue staring at the streets and houses ahead. After a moment of silence, I finally speak up.

"Wait! I read in my diary that you are dating my ex best friend, Suzzane. So, is she the one you love?" I question. His head snaps in my direction with wide eyes.

"What? Suzzane was your best friend?" He stares at me in shock. These people don't know about it?

"Uh.. I thought only I lost my memory." I mumble.

"No, you never told any one about this before. So she was the one with whom your boyfriend cheated on you?" He asks me and my eyes wide open. Does he know about Aiden? I hope he doesn't. I wonder if Suzanne told him about it, but why would she make herself the bad person in front of her boyfriend?

"You didn't know that Suzanne was my best friend, but you know that my best friend and boyfriend cheated on me. How do you know that?" I ask him. All of this is so confusing. I want my memories back.

"You, uh..told me about your past." He says, and I stare at him in shock. Did I just talk about my past with this guy? According to my diary and what my friends told me, Zayn and I weren't close. So how come I just tell him all about me?

"Are you serious? I told you out of all the people?" I emphasize on 'you'. He sighs and nods his head. I bite my lip and look away from him.

Shit.

"Things changed between us, Nerdy... Except for the nicknames."

~*~

A.n:

WHY IS THIS CHAPTER OF 4000 WORDS? Longest I've ever written.

Hope u guys like it. (Unedited)

P.s: You guys ever read "After". Harry's fic? I haven't yet. Is it good?

Stay safe and blessed. Keep smiling 'cause it looks best on you.

Love y'all and Zayn a lot.

Thanks xx