Chapter Eighteen 

                                               "The Engagement"

                           وحبك يركض كالبرق بين عروقي ، ويضرب مثل القضاء ومثل القدر

♦Mάнŕă♦

After numerous considerations and receiving various advices, I finally came to the point where I reconciled between my heart and my brain. I had two options, either take the risk or leave it. My heart went with the former and my brain chose the latter. Uncle Saif’s theory about my behavior had been right. He suggested that my rejection to the whole matter of marriage was because I was afraid, afraid of being hurt. Before I called him yesterday, Hamad had already informed him about Zayed’s proposal and also consulted with him my future. And just like everybody else, uncle Saif too thought Zayed was the right guy for me.

But I still questioned my decision, their decision and Zayed’s decision as well. I tried to give myself reasons for his actions; that he might’ve secretly admired me, but some part of me rejected that thought, altogether. And today, at my engagement, I sat thinking back to uncle Saif’s words and how he had convinced me, both mentally and piously.

After talking to uncle Saif, I realized that there was no point to be mad now, since I just officially got engaged to the man minutes ago. I heard Hamad tell my mother that the men’s ceremony had just been over. My mother was extremely joyful. I won’t ever forget the look she had when my aunts congratulated her.

Deep in my thoughts, I was oblivious to the girls that were sitting around me, in our living-room, upstairs. Nouf, Ayesha, Alia and Sara, my cousins as well as close friends, had all come to congratulate me on this day. I might have been sitting with them, physically, but my soul was in an entirely different place and my thoughts undisciplined.

The girls were ‘trying’ to embarrass me, hoping they could make me blush in any way possible, but I was me, Mahra, nobody could abash me.

“You know that I have waited for this day for so long.” She stretched the ‘so’ word. “I always wished to exploit this amazing moment, where I hoped I’d see Mahra as shy as the other girls on their engagement but looking at her now I think I should give up on it.” Sara complained, making me smile lightly as I continued playing with the crystals of the unique traditional dress that Reem had dressed me in.

“What I don’t get is…” began Ayesha, helping herself with the sweets that were presented in front of us. “What especial did you do that drove this man so crazy?” asked Ayesha, a wicked smile on her lips. “I mean he’s only known you for a few months, hasn’t he?” I heard them all giggle.

“Yeah Mahra, which spell did you cast that he proposed to you so soon?” Nouf joined in.  I rolled my eyes at their efforts.

“C’mon just say it, did you batt your eye lashes or was it a dazzling smile that enchanted the man?”  Sara joined in making me turn to her with a raised eye-brow and the urge to fight back my smile.

“All I ever did was,” I spoke, at last. “Ignore him.”

And curse him; a voice said in my brain.

Certainly they didn’t believe me, so I allowed myself to zoom out again. Despite me slipping into a coma every now and then, Alia- Sara’s eighteen year old sister- still managed to steel my attention. It had been above fifteen minutes that she stood there next to the window pane of the living room, and she looked down every few minutes, impatiently.

“What are you looking at Alia?” Reem inquired on my behalf. We all turned to her when she ascended the last step and walked towards us. She had been with the women downstairs.

“Wait. You guys will know in just a bit.” Alia said, and continued staring out in space. Reem gave her a smile and turned to the older girls and me.

“Let’s go, dinner is ready.” She offered.

“Did the men eat?” I asked her a simple and normal question but they all gave me devilish smiles.

“Did the men eat or did Zayed eat?” Sara teased, and before I could tell her to shut up, we all jerked when Alia screamed.

“They’re out, they’re out.” She stumbled and pinned closer to the window. Curiosity got the best of the girls and all of them hurried towards the window to see what Alia was referring to.

“Oh my God, it’s the groom’s family. They are coming out.” said Nouf, excitedly.

 “Masha Allah, a big family.” Ayesha commented.

“No, he only has one younger brother; the others are his cousins, I think.” My sister informed. I stood in the background, unable to see what they were looking at.

“Mahra,” Sara turned to me. “Which one is Zayed?” There was desperation in her eyes to know the details. She and I had a long list of qualities for our life-partners. Surely she wanted to see if he had any of them. I raised an eye-brow at her, making it clear there was no way I was going to tell her.

“Oh c’mon.” She growled and rolled her eyes.

“That one, right there. That tall one.” Alia suddenly pointed with her index finger and everyone’s head shot to that direction. “I told Hamad to hold the groom’s hand or give us any other sign to know the groom.” Alia stated, proudly.

I tried to look at the person they were pointing at, to make sure if she was right and she couldn’t be wrong. Figuring Zayed out in the midst of people wasn’t so hard, because he stood out in any crowd.

I detected his shadow in the midst of strange men. My eyes clung to the image that was in front of me, and concentrated on those familiar pair of brown eyes that I dreamt of the other day. His smile made my heart quiver and both my arms, inevitably, staggered at my sides. Truly, there he was, standing next to Hamad, who held his right hand and was saying something, which made Zayed smile.

“Wow, Mahra. He’s very good-looking.” Alia complimented, with a wide smile.

“Yeah, I so envy you.” Sara added. I heard the girls giggle but didn’t join them, I was tongue tied and awfully confused. It had been weeks since I last saw Zayed myself and also was the first time I looked at him with different intentions and a different view. I couldn’t digest the fact that I was supposed to look at him as my fiancé, which didn’t come naturally; I had to remind myself about it.

“Masha Allah, Looking at him is a pleasing sight.” That was my sister Reem, she glanced at me and passed me a smile. A smile I think I couldn’t put into words.

We watched as more and more men gathered around in our front yard. A boy probably in his late teens, approached Zayed and Hamad. He looked a lot like Uncle Waleed, I think he was the brother, I hadn’t seen.

“What’s he doing here?” Alia inquired, frowning.

“Who?” I finally spoke, curious.

“That guy who’s standing next to Hamad. I know him from college.” My young cousin informed, for some reason, she seemed very displeased. “He is known as the ‘lady’s man’ in our college; chases all the girls around and they actually like him, I just don’t see why?” She spewed out the words without giving them much thought.

Unintentionally, I smiled, because she reminded me of someone. I had said the same thing about Zayed once.

“But he must have something that the girls like him?!” I put forward.

“A new car every three months, if that’s what you mean.” She answered, rolling her eyes. We all laughed at that and I hoped ‘the young brother’ wouldn’t be as flawed as Alia had mentioned.

We were still gazing at the scene that unfolded in front of us as my mother called Reem for dinner. Listening to her voice all the girls quickly made their way downstairs. As for me, I headed to my room where my phone was ringing and it was Fatima, my colleague, who was calling.

She laughed when she heard my voice; it was a mixture of surprise and mockery.

“They told you.” I stated, cutting through all the formalities.

“Yeah, I just heard and couldn’t believe my ears.” She teased. I tried to hide my laughter.

“I am sure I have been a hot topic at work yesterday?” I said, biting my lip.

“You think? Khalifah wasn’t very happy though.” She made fun. I didn’t reply, not knowing what to say. “By the way congratulations Habibti, you deserve all the happiness in the world.” She prayed and I thanked her. “I want to know everything, you have to tell me.” Fatima said.

“Yeah, best of luck with that. My cousins have been trying to get some information out of me as well, but didn’t succeed.” I retorted and she grinned. I couldn’t get what information was it that they all referred to, ‘cause nothing had actually happened. I myself didn’t know how quickly all of this took place, without any indication from both sides.

We spoke for another ten minutes, both throwing jokes at each other. I tried to dodge some of her sarcasm, but it didn’t stop her. 

“I know you are too busy to tell me everything, so I am going to call you later for all the details.” Fatima offered, and that was how we said our Goodbye’s. I promised I’d see her soon at work.

As I got out of my room, I was supposed to head downstairs, but some unfamiliar feeling dragged me towards the window that we had just been staring through. My silly heart yet hoped to catch another glimpse of him. I didn’t know when I became so eager. I didn’t know how I couldn’t govern my feelings. And where were all these feelings coming from? What was the source? I never felt this way before!

Call me lucky, call me fortunate, since what I hoped to see was in front of me. At the sight of him standing alone in our front yard, my heart picked up and I placed my right hand on the wall to support myself.

I recalled uncle Saif telling me something that I myself hadn’t known about me. He had talked about my fear; saying that it tears out all our abilities which taste the beauty of simple things that are within our reach; and happiness is simple. He asked me to listen to the call from my insides. Although, heart and brain have two different voices but they do meet at some point, he had said. Since then, there’s been a positive energy awakened within me, dwelling around me.

And now, I closely looked at Zayed and realized that there were so many questions that I wanted to ask, so many reasons that I needed to have. He was looking at the cars or to be more precise, at ‘my’ car parked in our garage. I yearned to know what ran in his mind then? I also wanted to stop time, right there and then.

But what was he doing there alone? Where was Hamad?

In less than a minute, Hamad showed up but not alone. He was accompanied by my mother. I frowned at the place she had chosen to meet Zayed, but then again the men’s Maylis was filled with men and the house bustled with women. Was it the first time she ever saw Zayed?

Zayed… I have started saying his name with utter ease and confidence; every now and then I find it spinning on my tongue without any warning.

My mother was smiling at her new son-in-law, who looked up at her and smiled back. As soon as mother descended the few steps in front of the entrance door, Zayed walked to greet her. He kissed her forehead and took a step back, I watched them exchange greetings.

Zayed was saying something but I couldn’t see his face, he had his back to me. I only saw his hand movement when he ushered to Hamad. My mother seemed intrigued with what he was saying, wearing a smile on her lips, a smile that did a lot to change my feelings even further. Then, Hamad cracked a joke and my mother laughed. I don’t know if Zayed did too.

They spoke for another five minutes and then, after saying farewell, both the men watched my mother walk back into the house. Subsequently, Hamad followed Zayed as he walked out the door and my eyes went after him as he vanished behind the walls. And away went some part of me.

~*♥*

While I was having coffee with the women downstairs after dinner; we heard Hamad and some other masculine voices say; ‘Salaam Alikum’ and Hamad cleared his throat near the door. We couldn’t see him but upon hearing his voice Nouf and Sarah ran upstairs because they’re clothes didn’t help. I thanked God I was dressed in a traditional dress, completely covered. We all laughed at the girls as they took two steps at once and ran to get their Abaya. Once they were out of sight, Reem invited the boys in.

Hamad had the lead, he walked in the living room, following him were some of my male cousins who came with the excuse to congratulate me but they’d rather come to tease me. I had my coffee cup in my hand and it was empty, so I placed it on the table, with a light smile, which one of my very vivacious cousins had noticed. He was my father’s younger brother’s son, Aisha’s brother.

“Look at that bright smile.” He pointed at me, clearly it made everyone turn to look at me. I tried not to shy away and raised my head to look him in the eyes, that smile still on my face, it might’ve broadened I think.

“How are you Abdullah?” I asked, changing the topic.

“I am fine, cousin.” He walked up to the women and greeted them all. “Tell me about yourself? How’s the heart been?” He joked making everyone laugh. If I said his words didn’t affect me, then I’d be a liar, but I tried to hide my embarrassment and pushed a strand of my hair and tucked it behind my ear, still looking at him.

I was thinking of a good reply when luckily my ‘loving’ brother came to rescue me. He punched Abdullah playfully on his arm and said; “Don’t you bother my younger sister, you never know when her mood will fluctuate and that bright smile will turn into something else.”

“Oh c’mon I’ve known Mahra since I was young. I do know how much of a big-mouth she has.” He and Hamad laughed this time.

“If you’re so well informed then I suggest you be careful.” I retorted with the same friendly tone that he had used, although it didn’t mean that I wasn’t offended.

“Yeah,” Abdullah bent to take a chocolate from the basket that sat in front of my mother. “I should’ve told Zayed that.” Here, I felt the urge to grab the pillow behind me and aim it at him, at other times I would’ve but unfortunately I was a bride today.

“Abood,” his sister Aisha called him, with narrowed eye-brows. “Stop troubling Mahra.”

“No, it’s okay.” I interfered.

“What’s it got to do with you?” He said throwing at her the chocolate wrapper that he’d just eaten. “It’s between me and Mahra.” He looked at me and I nodded.

I heard my other cousin, who was Nouf’s older brother, congratulate me. Yasser himself was engaged and I think he understood how my situation was, so he didn’t say much. His eyes were on the floor when he said those two words to me and stepped back again. Behind him, I noticed for the first time, was Fahad. I thought when he saw me looking at him he might come and say hello but he still stood there, not budging.

“Hamad, who’s in the maylis?” My mother asked Hamad, who came and sat next to her, she then asked all the boys to gather around for coffee.

“Uncle Jaber, Saeed and Saif.” The first two were my father’s brothers and the latter was my birth-mother’s only brother.

“Why? Where did Bu Fahad go?” Aunt Amna inquired about her husband.

“He said he had to leave and that Fahad would take you back home.” Hamad informed and was turning to call Fahad when his eyes fell on Alia who sat behind him on the sofa.

“How are you Alaya?” He asked, calling her by her nick-name. Alia nodded, smiling. “So what do you think of our groom?” He questioned her and my heart suddenly skipped a beat. “She called me a hundred times today asking me to show her the groom.” He finished, turning back to the coffee that mother had just poured him. I watched Alia think about it for awhile then said;

“To be honest he’s way better looking than all the guys in the family.” Her reply made the guys frown and my lips twitched in a sloppy smile.

“You seriously mean to exclude me, don’t you?” Abdullah said, confidently.

“No offense but truth should be told.” She added. My mother laughed out loud at her.

“Alia has become less reserved these days.” Hamad complemented, which I was sure embarrassed her. “But the good thing is that you liked our groom.” Hamad was talking to her but he had turned to look at me. When our eyes met I saw him wink at me. Jerk!

~*♥*

Later that night, I was sitting with mom and Reem in her room. The guests were gone and the kids had gone to sleep. Mother was talking about my father, wishing he had been with us on this day and that he had seen me as a bride. She rarely talked about him, but whenever she did, there was a great longing in her words that showed in her eyes, through her heart.

By good luck, Hamad barged into the room moments before we were about to start crying. He noticed the dull atmosphere and inquired about it, of course. We all plastered fake smiles and proved his assumptions wrong. He looked at us closely, not to be fooled so easily, but then shook his head remembering something.

“Aahh uncle Saif wants to see Mahra.” He informed, one hand on the wall and the other on the door knob. My uncle had stayed for the night since his house was in Abu Dhabi and Hamad didn’t let him drive all the way to Abu Dhabi at night.

“See me? Now?” I asked, surprised.

“Yeah, he wants to talk to you about something.” Hamad said, removing his hand from the wall. I was a little hesitant to go see him, I don’t know why, even though I talked to him so openly yesterday. But now he’d congratulate me for my engagement and ask weird questions.

“Go dear, go see what does he want.” My mother encouraged, noticing my uncertainty. I slowly got up.

“Where is he?” I asked Hamad.

“In the Maylis, don’t worry I am coming with you.” He said, following me.

“Why would I be worried?” I turned to give him a questioning look, which he brushed off with a smirk. “Is there somebody else in the Maylis?” I asked as we walked out the house and headed to the men’s maylis outside.

“Yes, Zayed’s there.” He joked.

“Hamad.” I groaned and heard him grin. As we reached the door, I knocked three times.

“It’s open. You’re not entering his office.” He said smugly and this time he pulled my hair like the old times. I turned and slapped his hand away which made him laugh out loud.

Leaving him there and slightly agitated, I entered the room. Uncle Saif sat in our maylis alone, he was packing the small bag that he’d brought with him and seeing me he left it there and stood up.

“Salaam Alaikum.” I greeted. He smiled at me.

“Wa ‘Alaikum assalam.” He replied, warmly, and beckoned me to have the seat which he himself was walking to.

“How are you, uncle?” I inquired.

“Fine and very happy.” He replied, as he sat down on the sofa.  Grabbing my hand, he made me sit next to him.

“Why were you packing? Are you going already?” I asked, my voice almost sad.

“Yes Mahra, I have an appointment with a client tomorrow morning. I have to go.” Uncle Saif was a lawyer. He had his own office in the capital and was always busy.  He was in his early forties and still not yet married.

“But I missed you a lot. I want you to stay at least one more day.” I requested, my thoughts flickered to what he had once told me. I looked a lot like my mother, and ever since she passed away uncle saif can’t stay around me for a long time, because I remind him of her. My mother was the only sibling he had and he was very close to her.

“I wish I could but this appointment is very important.”I didn’t insist much, and nodded, keeping my eyes down.

The door knob clicked and Hamad walked in, placing some keys on the nearby table; “I’ve parked your car inside.” He said looking at uncle Saif and then at me.

“Thank you Hamad.”

“What’s wrong with our bride?” Hamad asked in an offhand tone.

“She is not happy about me going tomorrow.”

“Oh then it’s alright.” Hamad answered, looking slightly skeptical. “Is there anything else I can help you with?” He offered. Uncle Saif thanked him once more and then Hamad left closing the door behind him.

“I can’t believe you questioned his decision concerning your marriage.” Uncle Saif said, still staring at the spot where Hamad had just stood. I wanted to tell him that I still do but thought better off it. “He’s chosen well for you.” He added

“I asked after him, you know.” He paused and I reckon he was referring to Zayed. “The very day when Hamad told me, I searched around about him and his character. After briefing through his entire data, I have nothing imperfect to label him with.” He explained and I kept on listening without interfering. He slowly turned to look me in the eyes.

“You should stop looking for excuses too.” He said, sounding a bit off. His face too was unreadable. “You’ve lost too much already.” Now he looked sad. I was sure my eyes reminded him of my mother. “I want you to be happy.”

My eyes threatened to shed the tears that I tried to hide in front of my mother but here, with my uncle, two warm drops of tears slowly fell from them. Seeing my tears he frowned and then sighed.

“You’re doing the opposite of what I asked.” He complained, placing his hand on my shoulder.

“I just,” I gasped for breath. “I just wish they were here with me.” I managed to utter.

“Yes, we all wish that.” He placed my head on his shoulder. “Alhamdulillah ‘ala kil haal (All praises be to God for everything.)”

~*♥*

Tuesday: 4:25 PM

Difficulties, they never end, at least not in my life. I recently had to fight a battle with my heart and my brain concerning the engagement and now yet again, another case. One thing that I have learned recently is that, between the battle of heart and brain there is no winner. Whenever I try to arrange myself, I end up having yet another disappointment.

 It had been four days after my engagement with Zayed and I had willingly stopped going to work to avoid the embarrassment and the people. But I didn’t know how long was it going to be that way! I was bored and disappointed in myself for being coward enough to not go to work and face the people. But if my boss wasn’t my fiancé, I think I wouldn’t need worry.

So..I was painting, alone in my painting room, in the setting sun of a cool winter evening.

And my phone rang.

I picked it up from the nearby table, my paint brush still in my hand. It was an unknown number so I hesitated before replying, but my phone still cried and after a few seconds of consideration I replied.

“Hello,” Said a familiar voice.

A voice that touched the bottom of my soul and awakened some graved feelings.

A voice that caused dormant volcanoes within me and helped unveil the ashes afterwards.

A voice like the first rays of sun in the morning, that made me forget how to breathe.

I was frozen and dumbstruck, my tongue had been tied and words had all escaped me.

“Salaam ‘Alaikum.” Zayed greeted again, rechecking if I was still there or here. I myself didn’t know where I was. I took in a shaky breath and placed my paint brush on the table.

“Wa ‘Alaikum assalam.” I finally said, after finding my voice.

“How are you, Mahra?” Zayed asked, flatly. I realized I had to speak again.

“I am fine.” I whispered, hoping he’d heard it.

“It’s Zayed.” he informed. My lips twitched into a small smile and I nodded. I knew that voice very well. I thought I’d forgotten it but apparently I hadn’t.

“Yeah,” I paused. “How are you?” I felt like I had amnesia for a short while and now all the words were coming back to me, one by one.

“I am well. I hope I didn’t disturb you.” Unlike me he sounded extremely composed.

“No, I was…” I trailed off. “No, not at all.” I then added. I didn’t want to tell him I was painting.

“How’s your mother?”

“She’s fine, Alhamdulillah.”

“I hope it’s okay that I called.” He put forward.

“It’s alright.”

There was a moment’s silence in which I cursed myself to come up with something to say. Where was my big-mouth that everybody so famously talked about? But he didn’t seem to be waiting for me.

“Congratulations on the engagement.” He spoke and I felt like I melted there with abashment, and if possible would flow like a river of paradise. Steam erupted from both my ears and blood rushed to my face. This was new to me, I have never encountered such embarrassment from someone. Lucky for me there was no one here to witness my awful state or any mirror that would testify my condition.

“Congrats to you too.” I managed to utter. My voice shook, embarrassing me. I hoped he hadn’t noticed.

He didn’t wait much before speaking again.

“I am sure you have questions regarding my proposal to you… but there is plenty of time coming to answer them.” His consideration both impressed and astonished me.

I took a moment to restart my heart; “Yes, of course.” My words were brief which was unlikely for me and he’d certainly observe that.

 “I noticed you haven’t showed up at work.” He inquired, beginning yet another topic. This time I tried to gather myself and boost up my confidence.

“Yes, about that,” I waited, not knowing how to tell him that I was avoiding embarrassment. I had been thinking about this from three days now and also had made a decision. “I know this is going to sound very unprofessional of me but, I was wondering if I would not come to work until..” I broke again. “Until the wedding.”

Why didn’t the earth split up and swallow me?

“Yes, absolutely, whatever suits you best.” His reply came after a while and it relived me nonetheless. “But that wasn’t why I called. I wanted to ask you something, if that’s okay?”

I silently nodded, encouraging him, which was absolutely stupid. He certainly couldn’t see me.

“The reason I called was to inform you that I want everything regarding our marriage to take place as soon as it can.” He explained. My ears couldn’t believe that he actually said the word ‘our marriage’. There was a ‘me’ in it and a ‘him’ and there was a ‘marriage’.

“I am sure you’re wondering, what’s the rush?”

“Yes, I mean..” I trailed off again. His phone call and his request had both taken me off guard.

“Well, it’s because my father refuses to travel before my marriage and I want him to return back to his treatment and travel as soon as he can.” I noticed the formal and professional tone he used. “In order for that to happen we need to end the ceremonies in a short order. If it’s okay with you, of course?!”

Despite being caught by surprise, some part of my brain still worked and I wasn’t okay with the speed of the turns that my life took. I needed to organize myself and Zayed should ask my mother and Hamad.

As if he was reading my mind he said; “Before telling Hamad, I wanted to ask you.” He stated and once again his forethought fascinated me. At least he cared about my opinion. He rose in respect within my eyes.

And then again he had agreed to what I asked of him earlier, now it was my turn to agree to his conditions. I felt like we were bargaining. People were right when they said; relationships needed compromising.

“Yes, you may do as you wish. I have no problem at all.” I finally said.

“That’s good to hear. Thank you.” I shook my head. He didn’t need to thank me. I wanted uncle Waleed’s good health as well.

“No problem.” I whispered

“Okay then, Is there anything else you need?” He offered again, surprising me.  

“Salaamtak (your safety)” I replied.

“Let me know if you do. Ma’asalamah.”

“Take care, Ma’asalamah.”

And he cut the phone.

I sat down on the chair because my legs couldn’t hold me and stayed that way for another ten minutes. It took my heartbeats a long time to return to their normal pace and my brain to come back to its usual state. I realized that these behaviors weren’t orderly and that may be I too was a naïve girl who had started falling for her fiancé.

~*♥*~*♥*~*♥*~*♥*~*♥*~*♥*~*♥*~*♥*

And we apologize once again for being late. But it's just that the story isn't written already so that we would post every week. We have to plan the chapter, then write and re-write and edit and re-edit ourselves. And we also had exams. Don't forget us in your prayers.

Vote and comment if u liked the chp:)

~*'♥ Lot's of love from the witers

~Witty & Witch