Assalamualaikum.

Late update but longest chapter

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Author's POV.

She stared at the wall in front of her with a blank look. She couldn't feel anything. She was afraid to think about what had happened to her and that she got her Karma of killing her 3 children. During those five years of their marriage, she despises only one thing being a mother. She hated the thought to carry a child inside her model-like figure and ruin it. She hated the thought that for her child she had to divide her attention from her work. She hated the thought of taking care of a child and ruining her beauty sleep and every stress that comes after being a mother. She hated those thoughts. She knew that if she have a baby then she had to leave her work and would become a doormat.

She wasn't that much against having a baby until she got to know it from her friend Naseem, who was so dedicated to her work, but after being pregnant her family and husband made her leave her work and force her to stay at home. At first, Naseem listen thinking about her child and somewhere they assured her that she could go to work after delivery but that doesn't happen even after a year of her baby's birth. Naseem's in-laws and her husband manipulated her with sweet talks and made her believe that her husband and children should be everything to her.

BUT it was Sofia's thoughts while Naseem clearly said that she didn't feel like working anymore and her family and child came first. After a year of being with her baby, she got attached to her child and couldn't bring herself to detach her child from her even for a second. Her husband was loving and was capable for providing them

But now when Sofia thinks about her word and felt that she was right. Husband children and FAMILY should come first. Her negligence made Arshad slip out of her hand and her negative thoughts about the baby made her barren.

She had everything materialistic, beauty Fame Money, a successful career, a successful Business, everything but at this point, she didn't need any of this. It stung but it's true that at some point in our life we needed Family, husbands children, we need their supports and this was THAT time of Sofia's life. She needed her husband, her child, she needed her family but that was not possible now. She lost half of her husband's heart to someone else, she lost her child, she lost the ability to be a mother, and she lost the chance to have a family of her own.

A silent single tear slipped from her eyes which was wiped instantly. Her eyes turn toward the person sitting on the chair beside her hospital bed. He held her hand and entangle their fingers before kissing the back of her hand.

"It's okay" Smiling softly he said. He was giving the strength to her that she needed the most. Sofia stares at him.

"Why did this happen to me?" She whispered and one after another tears fell from her eyes to her cheeks and the dam broke. He instantly stood up from his chair and sat beside her taking her in his embrace.

"Shh. It's okay. It's okay." He didn't know what to say other than 'it's okay' when there was nothing okay. He whispered continuously rubbing her back while she cried out in agony.

Arshad's tears also fall but he tries to be strong for her. He can't say he can feel her pain, no, he can't, cause she was the mother who carried 7 months their baby, who went through everything, sleepless nights, mood swings, nausea, morning sickness, back pain, changes in her body, and the feeling of her baby tossing turning every time, and suddenly it was snatched from her breaking every dream she made in all those months.

"Arshad I want my child. I want my child Arshad. Please bring back my baby. Please Arshad give me my baby" She cried breaking his resolve. He held her tightly feeling it difficult to hold back his sobs.

"We lost it Sofia. We lost it. Our baby can't be back ever. Please have patience." When Sofia continuously cried for her baby to bring back Arshad had to say those words which sank in her deeply and she cried out loudly causing Arshad to weep silently.

They both cried in each other's arms for their lost child.

--------------------------

They both got back home after a week of her operation. Sofia didn't talk much in all those days. Arshad was beside her all those days. He gives her the strength she needed and to some extent, Sofia felt relieved having his undivided attention for her. He didn't talk much from the past couple of days and looked disturbed but thinking it was the sadness of their lost child Sofia didn't ponder much.

"Have some rest. I will get some food for you" he said after settling her on the bed.

Sofia was in her room alone when her eyes fall on the parcel placed on her nightstand. She opened it and instantly felt her eyes filling. It has a few beautiful onesies that she designed for her baby and gave to her assistant to get ready ASAP.

"It's a girl" Sofia look up at him. He sat beside her after placing her soup in front of her. "She had most of your glimpse but my nose. Can't see her eyes 'cause that was closed" He said remembering the moment he held his lifeless daughter in his arms. At that moment he felt like someone stabbed his heart repeatedly. He cried holding his daughter for half an hour kissing her and clutching her to his chest until his brothers and mother with Sofia's parents made him bury his daughter forcibly.

"I named her Arshiya Arshad Malik." Sofia stared at him while he look lost. Arshiya was the name they both selected for their daughter. Sohad for their baby boy. Their combined names.

Suddenly he snatches that parcel from her and throws it on the sofa. She look at him shocked.

"Arshad" she uttered.

"Forget about it now," he said smiling. A smile which sends a cold shiver down her spine. In a bad way.

"How can you say that? How can I forget about my dead child so quickly?" She asked in disbelief.

"Just like you forget all the children of us after killing them." He said casually holding the soup in his hand and bringing it in front of her. Sofia gasped in fear. "Have it. You look weak. You need to recover soon, you need to go back to work again. These all useless child things already took your precious time from you." He said handing her the soup bawl. Sofia sat there stunned.

"Arshad I'm sorry, i....."

"No, baby. Why are you apologizing? It's your body, you have all right to decide if you want the baby or not. It's your personal decision. I don't have any rights over your personal decisions." when Sofia tried to say sorry he cut her off with the same calmness. "Okay if you don't like to have this then I will ask kubra bi to make something for you," he said placing the soup on the bedside table. "I have to go office. I'll be late" He kissed her forehead before walking out of the room. A drop of tear Sofia felt on her right cheek and realised it was Arshad's cause she was too shocked to shed tears. Sofia felt her heart breaking, she remembered isha's words.

"Mai aapko bad'dua nahi dua dungi. Mera khuda aapke dil me, mere Arsh ki itni mohabbat paida karde ke unka ek katra ansu bhi aapke dil ko chhalni kar ke rakhde. (I'll not curse you I'll pray for you. May Almighty Allah made you fall in love with him to the extent that his one drop of tear can be enough to burn your heart)"

Sofia still remembers that innocent girl's broken face.

Flashback.

Sofia was shoving her clothes into the suitcase. As soon as she woke up she decided to leave the house and started packing.

"Sofia baji" Sofia's hand stopped and she turn to glare at the source of the voice.

"You, bloody bitch. How dare you come here? Did you come here to laugh at my face that Arshad chose you over ME?" She shouted but Isha stood firm in her place. Her face didn't have that weak aura that she carried with her usually.

"He didn't choose me over you. He simply supported me" she said with composure in her voice.

"That doesn't make any difference. He chose you over me and his child. He's ready to leave me and his baby for you. You snatch my husband and my child's father, you homewrecker" A stubborn tear escaped Sofia's eyes which she wipe angrily. Isha felt shudders at the accusations. She'd never want to do anything like this. She'd never snatch a father from a child or a husband from a wife but again she was also his wife she hold the same rights as Sofia's but she was not his child's mother which Sofia was. And that was the plus point for Sofia, so she deserve to be with him more than her (isha). Sofia deserves to be in his life with their baby more than her.

"Don't leave him. He will never be happy without you." Isha tried to convince Sofia which was a lost case.

Sofia chuckled dryly. "Trust me he will be happy without me"

"He could never be happy without you. You are his happiness."

"But you are his peace"

"You need him more"

"But he wants you"

Isha shut her eyes tightly while Sofia clenched her jaw to prevent herself not to cry. "He will learn to live without me once you gave birth to the baby," Isha said looking back at Sofia. Sofia stared at her frowning. "I'll leave from here...." Isha paused taking a deep breath. She didn't have the courage to say those words out loud but having no other option she continued. "..from his life. I'll leave"

Sofia stared at her wide and shocked eyes.

"But before that, I want to say, ke mera koyi nahi hai Arsh ke siva, mai tanha aur bikhar jaungi un ke bagair, kya Aap phir bhi apna faisa nahi badly.? (That I don't have anyone beside Arsh, and I will be left alone and will be shattered, still you won't change your decision?)" She asked innocently hoping to change her decision but Sofia stood there firm after coming back from her shocked state.

"No" she straight away denied.

"Ye jante huye ke wo bekhar jayenge tut jayenge is Judai se, aap apna faisla nahi badlengi? (Even after knowing this separation will shatter him break, you won't change your decision?)" Isha again asked this time emphasising on Arshad, again hoping her decision to be changed.

To which Sofia replied arrogantly without realising what that mean. "mujhe tuta hua Arshad manzur hai par bat-ta hua nahi. (I can accept broken Arshad but I won't accept half of an Arshad)

Isha's shoulder slumped. "Okay, I'll leave" saying this she walks out of the room.

_____

Dragging her old suitcase she walks out of her room. She only took her cloth which she buy from her salary and some of her old ones. She took her salaries which she saved till now as she knew she will need it but taking Arshad's gifts seems to her wrong when she's leaving him then she knew she doesn't have any right over his belongings. But she took a ring which Arshad gave her as their first wedding gift, her wedding ring.

She stopped seeing Sofia, Amma Jaan, Asam and Amar. Kubra bi also came there with moist eyes, she heard Sofia informing everyone that isha was leaving.

"Isha, take this. This is a blank cheque. You can get as much money as you want. You will never face a financial crisis." Amma Jaan softly said as she didn't want to hurt her more than she was but unknowingly she hurt her even more. Isha chuckled as unwanted tears fell from her eyes which she wipe it.

"By giving me this you made me feel so low. Aisa Lagra hai mai biwi nahi balki unki rakhni hun, jise paise de kar aap log jaan chudwa rahe ho. (It made me feel like I'm his mistress, not wife and you are getting rid of me by giving me this money.)

"You are his wife isha. And by giving you this money we are not doing any favour on you rather it's your right. You have all right on his money." Asam came forward and said softly.

"Agar mera un pe koi haq nahi hai to unke paiso pe kaise hoga?. (If I don't have rights on him then how can I have any rights on his money)" she looked toward Amma jaan "please don't disrespect me by giving me this money"

"Don't be a fool isha. Think practical, You will need this. This world runs with money." Sofia spoke telling her the truth of the world.

"Could this money buy happiness? Could this money buy peace? Could this money change your decision?" Isha asked making them shut. She smile bitterly.

"Guess what? Money can't buy everything and by the way, you know when I step out of my house I didn't know anything. I only had my mother's jewellery which I still have other than that I didn't have anything. I left that house with the belief that my khuda (God) will guide me. He will protect me and He did. He sent Arsh to me who become my shield..." Isha's lips curve up in a smile as she remembered that day when Arshad stood in front of her and those evil people like her shield. "He becomes my saviour..." She remembers how Arshad got agree to marry her to save her. "He becomes my protector" then she remembered how he protect her from those goons at the restaurant and from that Wahid. "... And then he becomes my husband." A tear escape her eyes when their qubool hai echoes in her head. "...he drags me out of that hell... He gives me haven here" she runs her eyes in that house where Arshad gives her that love which she always yearns for, even if it was a secret but for her, it was her best memory which she will never forget. "He becomes my strength. He made me strong. He supported me. He stood by me. He didn't leave me even though he was breaking from inside... He faced everything and stood like a rock. He loves me" She looked toward Sofia who didn't know when her eyes filled up with tears. "He loves you. He loves his baby. I know he will break if you left him. He will never be happy knowing somewhere in this world you are alone with his child. I can't see him like this. I can't face that broken Arsh, I'm not that strong maybe you...you are..." Her voice cracked and she didn't realize when she started crying. "But I'm not" she whispered the last words and turn her back toward them coverig her face isha sobbed as she couldn't hold back her pain when all the memories hit her like a truck.

Every person stood there felt their eyes moist but no one step forward to console that sobbing girl. Sofia just wipe out the tear which slip out of her eyes and look away from isha. She felt something like... Empathy.? She never felt like this but seeing Isha like this made her feel uneasy and maybe the only reason was that they both love one person and she could see isha's love was greater than her. Isha was leaving only to give him happiness, this fate could be her (sofia) but isha chose that for herself.

Wiping her face isha turn to Sofia.

"Mai aapko bad'dua nahi dua dungi. Mera khuda aapke dil me, mere Arsh ki itni mohabbat paida karde ke unka ek katra ansu bhi aapke dil ko zarzar kar ke rakhde. (I'll not curse you I'll pray for you. May Almighty Allah made you fall in love with him to the extent that his one drop of tear can be enough to tear your heart)"

With that, she turn around took her suitcase walked toward the entrance and stood in front of kubra bi. "Aap pe bharosa kar sakti hun na?" (Can I trust you?)" She innocently asked as her trust got broken by people in this house and she fears if kubra bi also breaks her trust then Arshad would never get to know her last words.

"Meri bacchi (my baby,)" kubra bi pulled her in a motherly hug "come with isha. Don't go alone come with me. We will go to my village. I will take care of you," she said rubbing her back. Isha smiled rubbing her hand on her back as well before pulling away.

"Thank you for everything. You are like my mother which I lost years ago. Thank you kubra bi. But can you do me one last favour" She took out the latter from her small handbag which she often took college with her to her university. "One last favour. Please give this later to Arsh. He will need this. Please" she begged as her fear didn't go away. She just wants Arsh to read her letter. She knew he will be broken and her latter will give him his answer which he surely needs to move on in his life.

"I promise I will give him this" kubra bi promised her making her release her breath in relief.

And just like that isha walk out of their life and house and promised herself to never come back here again. This house and people never accepted her and today she abandons this house with all the people, forever.

Flashback end.

________

Arshad was in his office and was staring at the photo frames of his wives with him. One side was Sofia's and another side was isha's. He was feeling suffocated since morning same suffocation he felt when she left him. He couldn't let go of his pain neither he could hold back any longer. Sofia's betrayal. Isha's disappearance. He was feeling suffocated with all this.

After Sofia's operation and that heartbreaking moment in the hospital Arshad called Fariya, -Sofia's sister and Doctor- by then Fariya came back to the town and Arshad ask her to meet him. They met in the nearby cafe.

Fariya came and Arshad didn't waste a second asking her about Sofia's complications which took her off-guard. She didn't say anything for a few minutes but when Arshad got angry she blurted out that Sofia was indeed having complications and she had informed Sofia about it but She was adamant to give birth to this child even after knowing that this child could die after few months and her life could be in danger too but Sofia didn't listen to her. Arshad knew this was half truth so he asked about what complication Sofia having but Fariya didn't say anything.

"If you won't open your mouth fariya then I will cancel your license and file a case against you with the charge of hiding your patient's complications from their family"

"But jiju Api knew it" Fariya interjected.

"But I will prove it that we didn't know" he gritted his teeth in anger and threatened her.

Not having other options Fariya had to let out the truth.

"Aapi had 3 abortions back to back. 2 abortions one after another recently just before her 4th pregnancy. So that's what made her uterus damaged and her infertility chances increased...."
After that, she explained everything as a doctor.

(A/N: I'm not a doctor and this is a fictional story so please don't bash me for writing this and even if anyone here is a doctor then let it be guys and forgive me for my mistakes)

Arshad was shocked and broken after hearing all this. He only knew and give his consent for her first abortion which they had in the initial days of their marriage cause they both were only 23 and Sofia got hyper after hearing about her pregnancy and Arshad had to agree to it even though he was beyond happy knowing about her pregnancy, he couldn't hurt and snatch the right from her. It was her right to choose what she wants but again 3 abortions? Did she ever love him? If she would've then she wouldn't kill his babies like anything.

He pick up Sofia's photo frame and stare at their wedding photo in which they both were smiling. Their smile was full bloom as if they both were enough for each other and they didn't need anything and anyone. How wrong they were... No, how wrong he was. They both were never enough for each other. Sofia wanted her career more than his happiness. He wanted his wife's attention and love more than she could offer. He fall in love with another woman who was also his wife. Sofia killed their children without thinking of him and their innocent babies. But again he didn't intentionally marry isha or fall for her but Sofia did everything intentionally. She killed their 3 children and because of it, they lost their 4 baby who was all ready to come into the world.

Tear escape his eyes and there he lost his all strength. He throw that frame on the wall as a scream left his mouth.

"Ughhh!" Screaming through his gritted teeth he stood up and throw everything on the table. He bang his fist on the glass table in his office making it break into million pieces and his both hand to bleed.No one understood him, neither his mother, brothers nor his wives. Sofia break his trust again and again and killed his children. Isha left him without thinking about how will he function without her. He didn't know why but he only yearn for isha when he become weak. He only wants her to be his strength. He only wants her to hold him when he falls. He only wants her to be a part of his grief.

He sat on his knees as he lost every once of his strength and everything around him started to turn black. He felt something oozing out of his nose. He touch his nose and saw it was bleeding and then he lost his conscious and help)lolk( fell to the floor. He stares at the photo frame of isha which was laying on the floor beside his head

Only one name left his mouth before he completely got into the abyss of darkness.

"Isha" A tear rolled out the corner of the eyes before it shut down.

**************

Few hours later.

"Isha, Arshad got hospitalised" someone said making her breath hitched and the dreadful feeling increased in the pit of her stomach.

***********

How was it?

Emotional?

Share your thoughts.

Right now I'm sleepy and my daughter giving me a very hard time😴😓

Good night

Love you all❤