
39) Nightmares and Taunts
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Savi's eyes snapped open, her heart racing and her forehead slick with sweat. She was gasping for air, as if she had been underwater for too long. The darkness of the room seemed to close in around her, making her feel claustrophobic.
She sat up in bed, her hands shaking as she pushed her hair out of her face. The images from her nightmare still lingered in her mind - Ishaan's smiling face, her lost child's tiny hands, the feeling of desperation and loss that had consumed her.
Savi took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. She looked around the room, taking in the familiar shapes of Kiaan's and Sai's beds. The children were sleeping peacefully, oblivious to her distress.
Just as Savi return to bed to sleep, She woke up again with a start, her heart racing and her forehead sweating. She had been trapped in a nightmare, reliving memories she thought were long buried. She sat up in bed, gasping for air, feeling suffocated by the darkness.
Without thinking, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up, trying to shake off the lingering fear. She took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down.
Her throat parched, she made her way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. As she entered the kitchen, she was surprised to see Rajat sitting at the table, eating his dinner alone.
The soft glow of the kitchen lights illuminated his face, highlighting the sharp angles of his features. Savi felt a flutter in her chest as their eyes met, but she quickly looked away, focusing on getting a glass of water.
Rajat's voice broke the silence. "Couldn't sleep?" he asked, his tone low and gentle.
Savi hesitated, unsure of how to respond. She didn't want to reveal her inner turmoil, but at the same time, she felt a strange sense of comfort in Rajat's presence.
" You come back so late?" Savi avoided talking about her palpitations.
Rajat's eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled wryly. "Work's been keeping me busy," he replied, pushing his plate away. "I'm used to eating alone, but it's nice to have some company for a change."
Savi nodded silently, taking a sip of her water. She stood with her back against the counter, her eyes fixed on Rajat's face. The soft light of the kitchen highlighted the tired lines on his face, and for a moment, Savi felt a pang of sympathy for him.
" Aren't you sleepy?"
Savi shrugged, feeling a little self-conscious. "I'm not sleepy," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Rajat raised an eyebrow, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "You're not sleepy, or you don't want to sleep?" he asked, his tone gentle.
Savi looked away, feeling a flush rise to her cheeks. She didn't know how to respond, didn't know how to explain the nightmares that haunted her, the memories that refused to fade.
Savi shook her head, trying to brush off the conversation. "It's nothing," she said, forcing a smile. "I just couldn't sleep, that's all."
Rajat looked at her skeptically, but he didn't push the issue. Instead, he stood up and began to clear the table. "I'll clean up," he said. "You can go back to bed."
Savi nodded, feeling a mix of relief and gratitude. She knew that she had dodged a personal conversation, one that could have led to uncomfortable questions and revelations. She wasn't ready to open up to Rajat, not yet. Maybe not ever.
........
Savi's hands moved mechanically as she packed Sai's lunch and made bread toast for Kiaan. Sita, the maid who had worked in Savi's old home and had followed her to her in-laws' house, noticed that Savi seemed distracted.
"Didi, kya hua?" Sita asked, concern etched on her face. "You seem a bit lost in thought."
Savi forced a smile, trying to brush off her worries. "I'm fine, Sita. Just a bit tired, that's all."
But Sita wasn't convinced. She had known Savi for years, and she could see the pain and fear in her eyes. "Didi, don't hide it from me," Sita said gently. "I know what you've been through. The nightmares, the memories...they're still haunting you, aren't they?"
Savi's eyes dropped, her shoulders sagging. "Sita, I don't know how to make them stop," she admitted. "I feel like I'm losing my mind, reliving the same horrors over and over again."
Sita's expression softened with sympathy. "Didi, you're not alone," she said.
Just as Sita was about to respond more, Dolly Bua walked into the kitchen, her eyes scanning the room. She spotted the single tiffin box on the counter and her expression turned stern.
"Only one tiffin?" she asked, her voice dripping with disapproval. "What about Rajat? Doesn't he need lunch too?"
Savi's face flushed with embarrassment as she realized her mistake. "I...I'll make his lunch right away, Dolly Bua," she stammered.
But Dolly Bua was having none of it. She walked over to the counter, picked up a glass of water, and took a sip. "Bachchon ki seva karni hoti hai, toh hum caretaker appoint kar lete," she said, her voice laced with sarcasm. "Why did we get you married to Rajat, anyway? So you could just take care of the children and neglect your husband?"
Savi's eyes dropped, feeling a stinging sensation from Dolly Bua's words.
"Last night, you slept before Rajat even came home," Dolly Bua continued, her voice heavy with disappointment. "My child, who has been eating alone for many years, may have had some hope that his wife would serve him, would take care of him. But it seems like that's too much to ask from you."
Savi felt a lump form in her throat as she realized the extent of her thoughtlessness.
Savi's thoughts swirled with a mix of emotions as she stood there, feeling the weight of Dolly Bua's words. She knew that she and Rajat had married for the sake of Sai, to provide a stable and loving home for him. But as she looked at Dolly Bua, she realized that the rest of the family didn't see it that way.
They saw her as Rajat's wife, as a partner who was supposed to take care of him and support him. They didn't know about the arrangement she and Rajat had made, about the fact that their marriage was more of a convenience than a romantic partnership.
Dolly Bua's eyes blazed with a mix of anger and disappointment as she confronted Savi. "You're not even taking care of my son," she said, her voice trembling with emotion. "Rajat's ex-wife didn't care about him, she broke his heart. And now, you're not even fulfilling your duties as a wife. You're just running behind Sai and Kiaan, neglecting my son's needs."
Savi felt a stinging sensation from Dolly Bua's words, knowing that she had been neglecting Rajat. She looked down, ashamed, as Dolly Bua continued.
"Marriage isn't just about having children, Savi. It's about being there for each other, supporting each other. And you're not doing that. My son wants someone to be close to him, to take care of him. And you're not even giving him that."
Dolly Bua's voice dropped to a whisper, her eyes piercing. "Or do you want to leave him, Savi? Is that what you're planning? Like his ex wife."
Savi's eyes welled up with tears as Dolly Bua's words cut deep. She felt overwhelmed, exhausted from the lack of sleep and the lingering fear of her nightmares. Her headache throbbed in sync with her racing heart.
Just as she felt like she was about to collapse, Bhagyashree, her mother-in-law, walked into the kitchen. "What happened, beta?" she asked, concern etched on her face.
Savi burst into tears, unable to hold back her emotions any longer. Bhagyashree rushed to her side, enveloping her in a warm hug. "Shh, beta, don't cry," she soothed.
Dolly Bua shrugged her shoulders, her expression unrepentant. "I was just telling her her duties," she said, her voice dripping with disdain. "And these young girls start crying so soon. No tolerance, no patience."
Bhagyashree shot Dolly Bua a warning glance, her eyes flashing with annoyance. "That's enough, Dolly didi," she said firmly. "Savi is already stressed. We don't need to add to it."
Savi wiped her tears off and took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. "I'll send breakfast for everyone," she said, her voice still shaking slightly. "I'll come later. Let me just pack Rajat's food too."
She moved mechanically, packing the breakfast and Rajat's lunch with a sense of duty and responsibility. It wasn't about proving anyone wrong or seeking validation; it was simply about doing what needed to be done, about fulfilling her role as a wife and caregiver.
As she worked, Savi's thoughts were focused on the tasks at hand, her movements quiet and efficient. She didn't glance up or seek anyone's approval; she simply worked, driven by a sense of obligation and duty.
........
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