Ethan's pov

I am feeling so lost these days.

Not able to distinguish between right and wrong anymore.
After Sophie's death, I didn't had it in me to even visit Vivian in the hospital.

Or to protect her from going to the jail.

I lost connection with this world. I became a living corpse who spent his days behind closed doors, struggling with depression.

3 years.

It took me 3 years to finally move forward in life, letting it all go.
And I am happy I did

To stand on my feet again and make a mark in the business world and make my family proud.

But now, when I see Vivian.

I can see her struggles resembling mine.

Except for the only difference.

That she hasn't moved on.

She pretends she has, but I can see it clearly now.

She hasn't.

I stare at her at night, seeing her having nightmares. Shaking and sweating in fear.

I see her getting lost in her own world in between conversations, loosing her concentration.

I see her checking her face in the mirror again and again,not with a smile but instead a fear of something.

I see her flinch,at loud sounds.

I see her fears.

I see a Vivian very different from the one I left behind that night.

And I can't help feel her pains like they were my own.

She is a lost girl now , who is unknowingly getting sucked into darkness with each passing day.

She is forgetting to live.

She has given up on her dreams.

She is merely breathing,

And the worst part being, that she doesn't even know about it.

.
.
.
I have lost Sophie that night , I know how it feels to loose someone so close to you.

But the thought of loosing Vivian also?

It kills me.

I won't let her loose herself.

Sighing I look down at the papers in my hands and I start feeling something heavy in my chest.

An imaginary weight that crushed my soul slowly.

Worked for 1 year in a local cafe as a waitress.

Fired for slapping a client who was blamed of sexual harrassment.

Joined as a janitor

2 Months at a community service.

5 month as a maid for an old couple

Fuc*!

I curse, looking at the odd jobs she did.
It seems no one hired her with the track record of being a convict, so she did jobs that don't require much of an identity proof of the employee.

Damn Vivian.

What all did you had to suffer?

Why did you do it Vivian?

I picked up the papers to only have photos drop down from the folder.
Narrowing my eyes, I pick up the first picture to see her.

It was clicked right after she came out of the prison.

A side profile of her face and body.

She looked so thin...her bones were sticking out and her eyes looked so lost and dead.

I clench my fist, thinking of that time.

She must have felt so lost, alone and helpless.
With no one to help her.

After that night , no one wanted to be related to her in anyway.
Everyone left her alone to suffer.

And I can't forget that even I was one of them.

With a heavy heart, I pick up the next photo to have my heart stop.

It was of her in the Jail, jail clothes covering her thin frame.

My fingers automatically move forward to touch her face in it.

It was covered in bruises with her right eye swollen. Like someone punched her and tortured her.

And I stilled when I looked at her green eyes  a little longer.

They were dead...so dead that I felt hate for myself like I never felt before.

I hated myself for not saving her and getting lost in Sophie's loss instead.

I hated myself for letting a living person die in that hell.

When I could have done something to console or protect her atleast.

But she deserved this.

Was what all said. What I said and didn't take pity on her.
But such atrocity? No one deserved this.

Not even her.

I shuffle through the pictures to see her house...or a slum house as others would say. A small room with just a bed and a worn out sofa.

I don't know how long I stayed in my office, knowing the past struggles related to Vivian Klein.

But after everything I had finally decided.

I will bring her out of this darkness.

I will return the light ,I took from her.

.....................................................

"Where are we going?"

She says, to be only ignored by Ethan again.
He continues to drive, making her roll her eyes and lean back on the seat and sigh.

They finally reach a studio and Vivian looks at him bored.

"Why do you bring me on your shoot? I had better things to do at home!'

He just stares, asking her with a raised eyebrow.

"Better things? Yah sulking in your bed, watching tv and emptying my ice cream stock is all you do entire day."

"Why don't you do something productive?"

"Like what? Be your assistant again and do your work like a slave?"

"No thanks."

"I didn't mean that Vivian. Come. You will know."

She sighs and follows him to be only attacked by media. She is pushed back to be only steadied by Ethan's grip on her waist.
Her back leans against his chest as his eyes harden at the reporter who dared to push her.

His other arm coiling around her waist to secure her protectively, making Vivian feel weird all of a sudden.

"I...am sorry..."

The reporter apologizes and Vivian just nods, while Ethan throws daggers at him with his eyes.

"You better be. Now move the hell back!"

The reporter moves back afraid, getting lost in the crowd as bodyguards surround them immediately.
Making way for them to enter.

Holding Vivian's hand in his Ethan moves ahead, clearing the way for them.
While Vivian stares at his hands held in her.

And lowers her eyes, afraid of the crowd yet feeling safe with his presence next to her.

Why is he rising hope inside her?

Why is he acting like this?

It was better when he hated her....it was easier to hate him.

Why this care and support now?

"Ah Ethan ! We all were waiting for you! And what a pleasant surprise to see Mrs Lockwood here. "

"Welcome Miss Vivian"

One of the man , who looked like the director said. Vivian just nods, looking down.

Not used to so many people staring at her.

"Is the set ready?"

Ethan asks getting seated, making Vivian to join him on the seat next to him.

"Yes it is."

"So the shoot starts with male lead holding the model from behind, his chin placed on her shoulder. The model is angry at  the make lead for not getting a gift on their anniversary and he is trying to make up with her. Simple?"

"Fine."

Ethan says looking at the script. While the director nods, looking at Vivian and smiling.

"Truly speaking I thought this shoot was impossible. But seeing you are here Miss Vivian....I can finally believe it."

Vivian looks up at the director. Surprised.
What does he mean?

Her? Wasn't Ethan the one getting ready for the shoot.

She looks at Ethan to have him smirk at her and that's when she looks at him in horror.

This bast***!

"I think you are mistaken. I am just here to accompany Etha-"

"You are our main model Mrs Lockwood! It's an honour to shoot you!"

Her eyes throw daggers at Ethan and next they know, she gets up ready to leave.

"I am sorry. I didn't sign for any shoot. I will take my leave if you will please excuse me-"

She side steps the crowd to only have Ethan scream after her.

"Vivian! Stop!"

She doesn't listen rushing out of the place.
Why is he so stubborn? Why can't he understand that she can't shoot!

She is not that confident ,fearless Vivian now.

She is just a survivor.

Holding her wrist and pulling her behind the vanity, he tries to calm her.

"What the hell Ethan! Why don't you understand once! I don't want to shoot dammit!'

"Atleast try Vivian. I believe in you! You are ruining your life like this."

She scoffs.

"News flash Ethan. My life is already ruined. I can't ruin it more. Can I?"

"See Vivian I don't want to argue. Just once...just try once."

"No"

She says stubbornly and he sighs.

"Fine"

"Don't blame me for what happens next then."

And next she knows he places his one hand under her leg and another under her arm.
Lifting her up.

"What the hell are you doing!"

She screams thrashing in his arms to only have him look down at her with a victorious smirk.

"Persuading."

He says with a raised eyebrows and walks around, back towards the set.
Everyone gasp and she couldn't help tighten her grip on his shirt collar, cursing him.

"I am going to kill you Ethan Lockwood!"

"We will see!"

"Damn you!"

"I am already damned"

"Fuc* you!"

"You already have."

Her eyes widen at his audacity and he just smirks, giving his cocky smile.
Cameras click and she hides her face in his chest, bothered by the flashlights.

"Everyone. That's enough."

He orders and the clicking sounds seize. Making the media to retreat.
Having gathered enough of the hot news for the day.

"I will not shoot! I will not shoot!"

She keeps whispering to only have him lower his head and whisper near her ear.

"You are going to be perfect my little Phoenix "

She stills at the new nickname.Why in the world will he come up with a nickname like that?

"Perfecto! The models are here! Let's begin!"

"Let me go Ethan."

She lowly seethes in anger, for only him to listen. Not ready to create a scene in the public.

To which he only tightens his grip.

"I will when the time comes."

"But till then........"

"You are mine Vivian."

Her eyes widen and he takes this as an opportunity to lower her and entrap her from behind.
His arms caging around her waist, and his face lowering in the crook of her neck.

"Umm you still have the same fragrance."

Her legs feel weak as his nose rubs down her neck , his words making them worse.
She tries thrashing to only still seeing all the cameras turned towards her.

She starts feeling anxious of everyone staring at her.

"Ethan please..."

She says and he moves his hand around her neck, turning her face to make her look at him.

"Just look at me. You are perfect."

"No Ethan...I..-"

"Look at me."

He says and she obliges for the first time. Her anxiousness coming down few notches.

His breath hits her lips and she  sees those beautiful brown eyes staring at her.

Suddenly she gets pulled into their depth, going back all those years to remember the way he used to love her.

The first time he entered her, how he asked her to stare at him.

How he treated her like a delicate piece of glass, making her feel like the most precious person in the world.

She holds his hand on her waist and leans in, his nose touching hers.

"Perfecto! Cut!!"

She is suddenly woken up to reality.

The very glass he treated with delicacy ,was smashed my him against the wall.
The heart she offered him was crushed under his feet.

He doesn't let her go, even when the cameras lower

Placing his forehead on her, he whispers lowly to her.

"I am sorry Vivian."

And that's when she remembers her child....he was the plaintiff...he took her child from her. He took her to hell and back.

Forgiveness?

She will die before she forgives her child's murderer.
Pushing him back she catches him by surprise.

She pushes aside everyone, cleaning the tears with her sleeves.

The media again block her asking her questions, as she covers her face , pushing them aside to reach the car.

"Ma'am are you fine?"

The chauffeur asks her and she nods.

"The keys. Give me the keys."

"But-"

"Give it!'

He reluctantly hands it over,and she pulls open the drivers door.

Starting the ignition,she roars the car.
Honking at everyone to get the fuc* out of her way .

The media moves aside, as she drifts out of the shoot.
While Ethan runs after her , cursing himself.

He went over board

Dammit!