We feel, we hurt, we cry, we love, therefore we are beings of emotion, if we feel heavy with no way of release, then all we can do is lean on another, who understands, because we are all beings of emotion.

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Carter.

Emotionally drained, I knew what it was, I knew what it entailed, I knew I was riddled with confusion, crippling anger and burning hatred, all directed at one wolf, he had ruined my life, painted me in the worst of ways and blamed me for his misdeeds, what had I done to him, what had I done to offend him, the answer was no, I had done nothing, he simply saw me as the scapegoat, the chess piece he could use and discard, a pawn. Sighing heavily I made it into the house, the car ride hadn't been slow, but I appreciated his pace, it gave me time to cool off, as I walked past the threshold, bags lined the wall and most of the lounge, I think I might have overshopped, and I also might have bought stuff which weren't mine, I had to send them to Louisville sooner than later, I didn't want the alpha questioning who I bought a three piece burgundy suit for, and also rouse attention from my house mates, I wasn't in the mood for it, luckily it seemed I was- not in the house alone.

I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, walked toward the stairs as I removed my heels, I hoped it wasn't Tori trying to weasel her way into my wardrobe, when we were kids she used to take a lot of my clothes since we had a similar build, it was easy to fit into them. I was wrong, Tori was knee deep in the contents of my suitcases. "Before you bust my lip or some shit, look at how cute I look in these pants, I didn't know I had a firm butt." She stated as I looked blankly at her, of course I wouldn't acknowledge that she looked damn near hot in those pants because then she would take them, I wasn't interested in ordering another pair.

"Okay I'm sorry for snooping, but can you blame me, I haven't seen you in years, you've changed, you're beautiful, you're strong and you're married." She mumbled as my business card was in her hand, she also turned to show me her phone where the commander announced his resignation and our wedding, I was practically beaming that day, I remained silent though. "Look, I'm not saying you're wrong in not telling me but you're married,and none of us knew, we hurt you and I understand that but-." She finally broke down flopping to the bed in tears, that's when I finally engulfed her in my embrace, she needed to let out all she was feeling, all the confusion, anger and guilt, it was ripping her in two.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Carter." She begged, as I still held her until it all fizzled out to be sniffles. "I know you're sorry, but it will take time to forgive you, also I was and still am in exile, you all chose a life here and none of you were willing to go with me, I made a life out there, I chose to fight for myself and live, my marriage to my mate has been the best thing and still is the best thing to happen to me in this life, he's my everything, so asking me why I didn't tell you is simple, none of you mattered when I was out there, none of you still matter because its my life, just like how you and Tai are together, its your life, let's not act as if that's any different." I replied standing up and sitting next to her, we were so close but life pulled us apart, I would still do anything for her but I'm afraid we aren't the people we used to be back then.

"I'm sorry if it seems harsh but that's who we are now and maybe we can be better in the future, and actually try to become better from here on out." I expressed how I felt, and hopefully we could be better individuals from here on out but it would take time. "Its okay, I'm just glad that you've at least opened up, I hated the silence and tension, maybe you can atleast tell me about him, he's well built and well look at that, he's just gorgeous, bronze skin, cherry lips and the body fit for Fenrirh." She rambled with a pur making me chuckle, I wanted to tell her a lot but it had to wait, I needed to talk to him first.

"I will tell you everything, but right now I just need to shower, and talk to him, and then maybe I can share some of my clothes and tell you about my life." I offered and she beamed a smile toward me, her mood had shifted, she was much calmer and somewhat at a certain degree of peace, though the guilt still swirled around her, it was her own to deal with, I had my own life and problems to deal with, for her I'd have done anything but not anymore, we loved each other, she would very well die for me but I'd never do something that stupidly self sacrificial.

After Tori left I stripped down and got into the shower, the warm water and my gel was all I needed to feel better and get rid of the scents that clung to me, which reminded me of why that wolf wanted to kill me, his intentions weren't to escort me, he wanted to kill me, stage it as an accident, I knew Enzo was capable of giving that order but why would he, I was in exile already. Wearing my comfortable joggers and my mate's tee which practically engulfed half my body I cleared out the room, Tori had really deep dived into my clothes, so I picked a few aside for her and put away the rest, with my phone in hand and laptop already calling my mate, I ordered food whilst I waited for him to pick up.

"Hmm, if it isn't the man I love, how are you baby, want me to come get you, need anything, anyone bothering you?" He fired all his questions all at once making me chuckle, it had been hard convincing him to stay behind, I was worried telling him what was going on would cause him to change his decision and force me back, he was my husband when he wanted my ass back home, he would get my ass home, I listened, just like when I needed him to listen he did. "I'm okay baby daddy, just exhausted." I replied and he sat up straight, I could tell he was in the kid's room, meaning they were already asleep, I didn't need to be coerced to tell him, the look he gave me said it all. "Lay it on me chocolate lover." He exclaimed making me blush, he was chocolate and I loved him, persistently addicted. "So-." I recapped everything, every little detail that had happened since I came back, and he just listened, the one quality a lot of lovers always looked for in their partners, someone who just listened. After I finished he wore a tired smile. "I wish I could kiss you, you know chocolate doesn't ask stupid questions, doesn't argue with you, it understands, makes you feel better, so I wish I was there to do that for you." He muttered with a sigh, I could see he was fighting his inner most nature to just come and whisk me away from danger.

"What have I always told you since the day I met you?" He asks and this was an easy one. "You told me I was brave, I could handle whatever the world threw at me, and that's why you wanted to build a home with me, not because I was physically beautiful but my soul was beautiful and my strength surpassed the strongest soldier you knew, you wanted to hold my hand, and we would walk the journey together, not with you leading, because we were equal and you loved me." I recited his very words, they were engraved in my heart just like the tattoo of his name on my chest.

"Exactly, so I'm not going to tell you to come back now, which I know you will, but whatever is happening there, needs someone with your strength to tackle, so in the little time you're there, find out the truth, and because those kids are like ours then I need you to find them and get them back to their families, when you're done, kill every person who harmed your granma, after you're done, I will come get you, I trust you'll stay away from deathly situations, but you won't listen anyway, I love you." He asserted as tears burned my eyes, how had I gotten so lucky with him he was perfect. "Thank you babe." I said and he winked mischievously.

"So, got a plan of action?" He asked and I grinned, my mate was and always will be a special forces commander, if anyone could help me craft a plan to get me where I wanted to be, it was him. "No my angel but you do." I answered and he smiled knowing all too well he was getting some action. Spending the rest of the night talking to my mate was bliss, I would have other opportunities to hang out with Tori but my man, came first, he was all I would ever have, along with our family.

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