Hello to the best readers and the most patient readers in the world <3 This story is so ridiculous that I don't even know how to continue xD I am sorry for being so slow with updates but I have a very, like very, hard time writing it.

This story will be short and complicated(or more like irrational) so bear with me :')

This is a small New Years gift from my side. Happy New Year my loves :* (I'll be quite busy during New Year and this month due to work, classes, moving, exams etc so you know, extremely sorry for that).

Love
Shona <3

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Starting today, I need to forget what's gone, appreciate what still remains and look forward to what's coming next.

- Unknown

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After dropping Zariah at kindergarten I went straight to work looking nothing less than a zombie. I fell asleep at dawn and the few hours of sleep I received hasn't helped me a bit to sober up. Taking a sip from my second cup of coffee I try my best to not grimace, coffee has never been my cup of tea but I have forced it into my daily routine with all the other enforced changes. Ivory, my bubbly colleague walks in to the staff room with a bright smile. My lunch break is soon over while her starts.

"Hey, have you had your lunch?" She inquires while braiding her blond hair and I nod with a soft smile.

"Yes, I am experiencing food coma at the moment." I joke and she giggles.

"Well, I will be sharing the experience. Jack will be picking me up for lunch." She informs me with stars in her eyes and I smile seeing her all smitten by her boyfriend, they are very cute together.

"That's so sweet, you can take a bit longer break than you have. I'll manage here." I offer genuinely and take a glance at the clock on the wall above the white door.

Ivory instantly grins. "Are you sure?" Nodding I assure her with a bright smile and raise my cup of coffee to my lips. "I am so excited, I remember when you and Zayne used to go on lunch dates every." My heart skips a beat with the mention of his name and I go rigid with my cup of coffee in my hand.

Ivory stops mid-sentence and glances at me with horror in her wide eyes while I look down on the black bitter coffee in the mug. Why do I get effected? It has been over a year, I should be over him. To not give away my discomfort I take a sip of the black bitter liquid and look up at her with a soft smile. "I am sure you'll have a great time." I speak and hope she doesn't notice my shaky voice.

I put my mug on the table and she seem to bite the inside of her cheek in regret. "I am sorry, I forgot that." Ivory apologizes and I shake my head.

Everyone knows about my past, it's no secret how my marriage ended up but no one knows the real reason behind it. "It's ok, don't worry about it. Just go and have fun, I need to get back to work." I tell her and she nods.

Putting the mug in the dishwasher I take a step towards the door when Ivory blocks my way and I stare in to her blue eyes puzzled. She seem hesitant but then quickly pulls me into a hug which surprises me. I chuckle at her cute gesture and hug her back. "You're so strong and kind, you're just the best." She states and I shake my head amused.

I pull back and offer her a smile. "Thanks dear, now hurry and don't let your date wait." I wink and she giggles.

I walk into the bathroom and lock the door. Leaning back on the door I inhale a deep shaky breath with my eyes tightly shut, I am definitely not strong. Opening my moist eyes I stare into space.

"I am picking you up for lunch." Zayne enlightened me over the phone and I looked down to take a glance of my pink lunchbox. 

"But I have already brought food with me." I informed him while pouring a glass of water for myself, talking with customers for hours make my mouth go dry.

"So?" Zayne dragged the word and I could imagine him roll his eyes. "Here I am offering my wife for a date and instead of grabbing the opportunity she is turning my offer down? That's so not normal." I giggled while running a hand down my long black hair as he complained. "No ifs or buts, I am picking you up and that's final. Be ready in ten." He ordered and I shook my head at his stubbornness.

After the call I rushed to the exact same bathroom and retouched my makeup. I still remember how excited I was, the adrenaline rush, the drumming heart and the anticipation. In short, the butterflies.

Walking out of the entrance of the shopping mall, I found his car and him waiting for me. Just the sight of my handsome man brought a huge smile onto my face and the best part was that he was already smiling at me. One of the factors that I adored most about him was that he always made me feel special, he always seemed to have his eyes only for me.

After receiving a bear hug and a kiss on my head we drove away. After the main course, we settled down with a cup of tea each. "I don't understand how people can drink coffee, it's so bitter." I stated, how juvenile of me back then to not know that time changes a person and their taste.

Zayne chuckled. "I agree, the only thing attractive with coffee is the smell." He shrugged and took a bite of his dark forest cake.

He got some cake on the left corner of his mouth and smiled not suspecting a thing. I studied him for a moment and my heart filled with warmth knowing that this wonderful man was all mine. Zayne snapped his fingers in front of me and brought me back to reality. He smirked and with the chocolate on the corner of his mouth he just looked funny. "Done checking me out? I am all yours you know? No need to droll over this masterpiece." He whispered and I raised my eyebrow before bursting out in laughter.

"Yes, my droll worthy masterpiece. I am done checking you or more like your chocolate made mole out." I replied chuckling and leaned towards him.

He looked at me suspiciously and I raised my eyebrow amused. His gaze sent warmth to every core of my body. Wiping away the chocolate of his mouth with my thumb I leaned back with a smile. "Now, that's better." He shook his head disapprovingly while I wiped my hand with a napkin.

"You had the perfect opportunity to kiss me but no." He sighed acting disappointed and I just smiled goofily with my cheeks slightly burning.

"It's not that easily given, you have to work for it." I winked and this time he raised his brow.

"Oh, really?" he questioned with mischief evident in his sparkling golden brown eyes and I nodded with a teasing smile.

A knock on the door makes my heart jump out of my chest and I quickly wipe away my tears from my wet cheeks. "Zora, are you there?" Miranda, another collogue of mine calls and I gulp down the lump in my throat.

"Yes, coming!" I say cheerily loud enough for her to hear.

"Some technician is  searching for you." She informs me and I nod even though she can't see me.

"With you in a second." I whisper with a broken voice more to myself and drag myself to the basin.

Looking at myself in the mirror I sigh, my red eyes are giving away that I have been crying. One of the perks of not using makeup anymore is that I can splash my face with cold water without any hesitation.

When my shift finally comes to an end I feel more than liberated. After picking up Zariah from kindergarten I walk into the supermarket for some grocery with her in the stroller. When I am almost done Zariah starts to whimper and my heart breaks, I just can't see her cry.

"What's wrong my angel?" I ask her and she calms down a bit. "I know that you're tired and mommy is also tired. I am almost done baby, please, don't cry. Mommy is here right?" I talk to her in an attempt to keep her calm while walking towards the diary section.

"Zora?" A deep familiar voice reaches my ears and I halt hearing my name.

My heart skips several beats and my knuckles turn white as my grip on the stroller hardens. Please, let my ears play a game on me. Please, because if not then I don't know if I'll be able to control my emotions at the moment.

"Dada."  Zariah peeks behind me from the stroller with a huge grin and extends her arms forward.

No, please no, I can't do this.