'What beastly incidents our memories insist on cherishing!
The ugly and disgusting...the beautiful things we have to keep diaries to remember!'

- Eugene O'Neill, Strange Interlude
~~~

18 years ago,
Hayworth Estate;

Lord Geoffrey Berkeley tried not to stare at the woman sitting in front of him, her gaze fixed on the passing trees outside the carriage window.

He could not believe that Lady Saya Hayworth was sharing a carriage ride with him; that he had been holding her in his arms just a few moments ago.

When he had insisted to escort her to the manor, she had agreed with little protest but on the condition that he travelled in the carriage instead of his horse, as the cold winds had turned merciless.

He had agreed hesitantly.

He could see that she was tired but her eyes shone with a sense of calmness, an aftermath of crying her heart out.

Geoffrey's hand unconsciously went to the lapel of his cote- one which was still wet from her tears.

"It is cruel, is it not, Lord Berkeley?"

Geoffrey was shaken out of his reverie by the soft murmur of Lady Saya Hayworth's voice.

"What is, Lady Hayworth?"

"The fact that Papa is no longer with me.
Now that I am finally gaining a little semblance of my married life, he is not there to witness it. Considering that I agreed to this marriage on his insistence, this is really unfair."

Geoffrey purged his curiosity.

She spoke like she had been unhappy in the marriage, and that thought pained his heart to no extent.

"I had wished for a different life..."
Her voice carried a distant tone. She was barely audible.

"I wanted to marry the man I loved; a man who would have loved me back just as much.
But of course, that was just wishful thinking.
No one really marries out of love, do they?"

She had turned the question to him, finally opting to look at him with sad eyes.

Geoffrey almost blurted out his words, such was his need to prove her wrong-
"Of course, they do, Lady Hayworth."

Saya shook her head lightly and spoke with a resigned smile on her face,
"You do not need to humor me, Lord Berkeley. I know that only happens in those fanciful plays. How many people do you know who married for love?"

Geoffrey hesitated.
She was right, he could think of no one.

He cursed under his breath as she continued,
"I am not saying that they are unhappy- not at all.
My parents had been happily married and were very much in love but that love blossomed after their marriage, like many others.

What I had wished for, however, was to meet a man I would come to love and marry him, by choice; not because someone else had intended for us to be together."

Saya saw the concern in Lord Berkeley's eyes and chuckled lightly.

"I am not implying that I am unhappy, Lord Berkeley.
I love my Lord Husband. And by the Grace of the Lord, he cares for me too.
It was simply a naïve wish- I never meant for it to be true."

Geoffrey ached to tell her that it was not meant to be a mere wish; that had he met her first, it would have been a reality- their reality.

But he did not have the courage to disclose that to her, and decided to simply savor this precious moment.

"Also, it was Papa who chose him for me.
I would have trusted him with my life for he gave me a new one, Lord Berkeley. You must be knowing that."

Geoffrey gave a short nod. He had a fair idea of what she was referring to.

"My parents never made me feel unwanted.
I know that the others do not consider me suitable for this society. They think of me as an anomaly; that I come from an uncivilized land-"

Geoffrey's eyes widened and he started a vehement disagreement but was stopped short by her,
"I know they are wrong, Lord Berkeley.
I do not take much heed of their words.
My parents have raised me to be a resilient person.
They taught me to never allow others to violate my pride. They sacrificed a lot for me."

Her eyes shone with unshed tears as she continued,
"They did not care about the jibes of others as they raised me- an orphan from an unknown land- of an unknown and questionable ancestry.

I tried my best to make them proud, not giving anyone a chance to question their upbringing and trying my best to fit into this society.
But sometimes I wonder..."

Geoffrey sat mesmerized, living her emotions- sharing her pain and determination.

She was again looking out of the window.
It appeared like she was in a trance, no longer aware of his presence.

"Papa told me so much about it- the land that I come from.
He always said that it was one of the most beautiful places that he had ever visited.
There are no wars there; for the people are contended with what they have.
They are not like the people here- they like to live close to the nature.
Papa loved that place. He always used to state that he would forever be indebted to it for it brought him to me.

I never said it to his face, but I often wished to visit there.
Just once, I wanted to feel what it was like to belong.
Are those people same as me? Would they accept me as I am, without any pretense?
I doubt it...
For even I am no longer aware of my true identity anymore.

Am I a noble lady of this Kingdom- a Kingdom that, save for my family, had never really accepted me?
Or a girl from that distant land of Hindostan?"

Saya stopped abruptly, looking at a dazed Geoffrey like she had seen him for the first time.

"Oh Lord! What has happened to me?
I have been spewing nonsensical words and making you uncomfortable.
Please accept my apologies for this unbecoming behavior, Lord Berkeley.
Pay no attention to my words.
I think I have caught the wind by being in the meadow for so long."

Her pleading glance told Geoffrey that she never intended for him to hear those words.
He simply happened to have caught her at a weak moment.

His heart constricted on seeing the look of wonder and passion that had occupied her eyes just a moment ago- die.

Replaced by it was the ever-composed look of Lady Hayworth.

Geoffrey lamented that girl- Saya; a girl who was lost somewhere in the confines of Lady Saya Hayworth's mind, caged by the unsympathetic restrictions and censures that this society had placed on her.

He was dying to free her from her self-imposed restraints; to see her uninhibited spirit.
But he knew that he was not warranted to do that, for he himself had to follow the statutes of this world.

So instead, he tried to ease her current predicament,
"Do not be distressed, Lady Hayworth. I heard of nothing that should not be spoken..."
__________________________________

Present Day,
Bradford Estate;

Lord Richard Seaborne squinted his eyes against the rays of the setting sun.

The meadow was surrounded by a peaceful silence and spread majestically in front of him.

He had been meaning to visit this place ever since he returned back home.

Lady Saya Hayworth had proven herself to be true to her words. He would never be able to gain her forgiveness- just as she had warned him on Lord Brandon Fitzgerald's funeral.

When he had left the Kingdom years ago, he had vowed to come back to seek her pardon again; to apologize harder- on his knees if it would come to that.

But alas! That chance had been snatched away from him by the cruel hands of fate.

He had heard all about the circumstances surrounding her death and his blood boiled upon thinking about the heartache that Zachary Hayworth had caused her.

And to think he married that woman after his wife's death!

If it were any other woman, Richard would not be quite as affected, but considering it was her- a woman who had left an irreversible impact on his life and driven him to be a better man- he was distressed and his presence here was the only means to ease it.

He had finally gotten the chance to visit the Bradford Estate.

He knew that for a formal visit, he would be requiring the permission of Lord Zachary Hayworth, who was the Lord of Bradford Estate so he decided to make a passing visit, only requiring to pass the scrutiny and questions of the guards.
Even they did not have the heart to deny him a visit to their Lady's grave.

He had been meaning to make a solitary visit.

What he did not expect was the lean, built back of another man obscuring his view of the gravestone.

He paused in his steps.
It was hard to figure out the identity of this man from just his stooped shoulders.

He was just raking his mind for answers when the man in front of him straightened his posture and threw a sudden, startled glance at him, turning around with an uncanny agility.

Richard soon faced the perturbed glare of Lord Geoffrey Berkeley.

Of all the people, he was surely the last one he had expected.

Geoffrey had been visiting Saya as usual...an occurrence that he repeated every few weeks.

This time, it was Maya's betrothal to Prince Edward that had brought him here.
He had come to gain a renewed essence of the woman he loved.

However, when the crunch of grass beneath unknown feet broke the peaceful silence of the meadow, he had been on an alert.

Seeing the equally stunned face of Lord Richard Seaborne had puzzled him to no extent.

Why was this man here of all places?

Geoffrey had never liked Lord Seaborne.
And after the incident of Princess Catherine's naming ceremony, years ago, his dislike had turned to contempt.

He had dared disrespect Saya and that had been enough of a reason to label him as an enemy.

He had all but forgotten about him after he had been absent from the Kingdom for more than two decades but seeing him again, brought forth unpleasant memories and emotions.

"Lord Berkeley. What a surprise to find you here."
Richard tried to keep the edge out of his voice.
He was still not able to decipher the meaning of the other man's presence here.

"A surprise indeed.
I could ask you the same." Geoffrey's tone was clipped as he fixed an icy glare on him.

Richard knew he had no good excuse to be here.
He had hardly ever met Lady Saya except for that night, and he could scarcely pretend to be either the Hayworth or the Bradford family's acquaintance.

His reputation- lousy as it was- preceded him and defined him as an indecent company.

He could make a feeble excuse- one that a man as smart as Lord Berkeley would surely not believe; or he could come out with the truth and face his imminent animosity.

He chose the latter option.

"I come to repent for my sins." His voice shook as he finally looked at the white marble of Saya's gravestone.
It shone with an angelic light, that was totally becoming for her.

Geoffrey frowned as an uncontrollable wave of anger enveloped his heart.
He hoped for Lord Seaborne's sake that he had not meant what he thought he did.

"What sins do you speak of?"

Richard could easily decipher the uncontrolled rage in Geoffrey's voice and looking into his tortured gaze, he realized the fact that Geoffrey had quit concealing since a long time- he loved Lady Saya.

Richard finally understood why this man- an illustrious Knight and a fine-looking gentleman- had been reduced to a tortured soul; banishing himself into a life of solitude and unwarranted peril for eternity.

"Speak, Lord Seaborne.
If you seek to keep your head, you would not delay. Speak."

Richard met Geoffrey's livid gaze, his own eyes devoid of any fear but filled to the brim with remorse and guilt.
That look alone sent the worst scenarios to Geoffrey's mind.

"Did you hurt her?"

Geoffrey's voice shook as he spoke, grabbing the lapels of Richard's cote.

He could not bear to think that this vile man had hurt Saya and he had been unable to help her- he was not even aware.

Richard wanted to refute but he knew it would be a lie.
He had seen the hurt in her eyes that night- eyes that would be haunting him for all the years to come.

"I would have, had I not been stopped by Lord Fitzgerald." Richard kept his eyes fixed on Saya's epitaph as he spoke in a remorseful tone.
He was not going to hide his sins.
That was the least he could do when he had come here to seek forgiveness.

Geoffrey was blind with anger.
He had hurt Saya!
He did not need to know how or what had happened...he did not think he could bear to hear it.
It was pointless anyways.
Richard Seaborne had hurt her and that was enough.

The fact that Brandon had prevented something worse from happening filled him with gratitude towards Brandon but he had yet to deal with the uncontrollable fury that he was feeling for this man.

With an animalistic growl, he fisted his free hand and threw a punch at Richard's face.
The sickening crunch of his nose filled their surroundings and left a steady trail of thick blood.

Richard already anticipated the blows as they fell upon him- without mercy and in rapid successions.

Geoffrey's raged voice rang in his ears but he did not hear his words.
The strikes on his body were a means of dulling the pain- a means to repent.
He would gladly take them.

Richard kept his gaze fixed at the shimmering light as it fell on the gravestone and illuminated Saya's name carved in the marble, wishing that she would take mercy on him find it in her heart to forgive him.
__________________________________

Path to Seaborne Estate;

Richard absentmindedly ran his hand over the bruise on his cheekbone.

It did not hurt as much as he had expected; or perhaps he had grown numb to the pain.

Geoffrey had left him sprawled on the ground after a few more strikes, huffing in frustration upon seeing his opponents' disinterest in defending himself. For even though his anger compelled him to be a savage, the Knight in him was not fine with attacking a defenseless person to the point of killing him.

That had been almost three hours ago and now he was on his way back to his Estate.

He was gazing out of the window of his carriage, lost in his thoughts when he spotted the shaking figure of a woman holding a child close to her.

She was crouched behind the trunk of a tree, casting feverish glances at the road.

He knew she had seen his carriage, for she suddenly started scurrying back from the tree, her feet unsteady.

He frowned as a sense of worry encased him.
She looked to be alone and frightened.
He could not just walk away from that sight.

"Stop the carriage!"
Richard commanded in an anxious tone.

The woman had started running now, the child held steadfastly in her arms.

He jumped out before the carriage had stilled and wasted no time in running after her.

She had not managed to go far. He soon grasped her elbow, staggering as she struggled.

"Wait, I would not hurt you. Stop- Stop!"
His loud cry stunned her, causing the struggle to cease.

Richard heaved with relief and steadied her on her feet before looking at her.

His eyes filled with recognition the same time as hers.

She was the woman from the Fletcher's Alley.
He could recognize her golden locks anywhere, though they were now stuck to her face, while beads of perspiration lined her forehead.
She was looking at him with wild eyes- unsettling in their intensity.

"How- What are doing here? Are you alright?"
Richard tried to keep the anxiety out of his voice.

That was the last thing she needed at the moment.

The woman looked about him anxiously, clutching the boy even harder.

Richard looked at his terrified face.
The boy was almost a replica of the woman.
Even a fool could have understood that he was her child. He had the same hair and blue irises.

However, both the mother and the son were in a deeply perturbing state.
Their faces and hands were smudged with mud and dirt; the soles of their footwear seem to be giving away and the clothes on their frames- if you could call them that- were in absolute shambles.

They looked pitiful.

Richard did not know what to say.
He suddenly felt ashamed of asking her the question.

Of course she was not alright! She probably hated him for asking that...

"M-My Lord, I-I am-"
The woman's familiar, stuttering voice reached his ears and he saw her chapped lips quivering.

"Do not fear.
I am not going to hurt you."
He spoke in a reassuring tone.

The woman looked at him with unsure eyes.
She had recognized him as the Lord who had come to her rescue earlier.

She had been filled with gratitude when he had saved her from the leery gaze of that merchant.
Her heart told her she could trust him but her mind was doubtful as she took in his bloodied and bruised face.

Had she not learnt anything from been too trusting?
Was one lesson not enough for her?

She felt the tug at her dress and looked into her son's petrified eyes.
Her heart clenched with pain. The poor boy had not eaten a single morsel of food since morning.
Why was the Lord punishing her child for her own sins?

He had already experienced so much pain in his short life.
She, being his mother, was unable to provide him with the happiness that he so rightfully deserved.

No. She was not going to be hesitant anymore.
She had to take a chance- to save her child.
She could not be selfish anymore.

She looked pleadingly in the eyes of the man holding her in a gentle grasp and took a leap of faith in the stranger's kindness.
"My Lord, please save my child."

Richard was fascinated by the flash of determination in her eyes.
For a second, he thought he could see a impassioned woman behind the pain and melancholy.

"Of course, Lady.
But first, I need to know who you are and what is the name of this fine young man."
Richard lowered himself to the child's level and looked at him with a soft smile.

The boy buried his face into his mother's skirts.
He could it have been more than six years of age.

Richard looked back at the woman, waiting for an answer and again saw the hesitation- though only for a brief second.

"M-Minerva. I'm called Minerva, My Lord. And my son's name is Will."

He smiled upon hearing her name.
It was a beautiful name for a woman just as pretty.

"Would you mind coming with me to my Manor, Minerva? You would be safe there- fed and clothed properly.
I say this with pure intentions. No harm would befall you or your son.
I only mean to help you. You have my word."

Minerva saw the Stark sincerity in his eyes and nodded.

Somehow, she knew this man was not like the rest- he would not hurt her like them.

Richard was quiet the entire way.
He stole a few quick glances at Minerva, who held her sleeping son in her lap, while she sat there nervously; opting to keep herself busy by stroking his hair.

He knew he was being delusional but a thought consumed him at that moment- the thought that this woman and her son were his path to redemption.

That what he had wished for at Lady Saya's grave was presented to him by the Lord himself- a chance to seek a woman's forgiveness- by saving another.

If that was true, he meant to not disappoint Him this time.

He would do all in his power to keep this woman safe.
__________________________________

Graves Tavern;

Gwen was startled when she saw Lord Geoffrey Berkeley enter the tavern.

He looked disheveled.

Her heart leaped in her throat when she saw the blood on his knuckles as he held the bottle of liquor.

She hurriedly made her way towards him, abandoning her position near the log.

She was fortunate enough to have passed her prime- no longer desirable to the men- relieving her from her usual duties in the establishment.

She had then taken upon the work of maintaining the logs, though under the tough scrutiny of the owner, a man who did not find it to be a work fit for a woman.
However, he had little choice, for he was short on men.

Gwen snatched the bottle away from an indifferent Geoffrey and gently held his hands in hers, inspecting it for the wounds that she feared to find there.

"It is not mine."

Geoffrey's distant voice tore through her haze.
She looked at him quizzically.

"The blood. It is not mine. Do not fret, Gwen."

He was smiling, but it there was no humour in his eyes.
No, instead there was a storm brewing there.

Gwen almost gasped at the shear fury that she witnessed in his look.

Though she knew it was not directed at her, she could not help the chill that gripped her for a second.

She kept staring as he gently removed his hands from hers and went brought the battle back to his mouth.

Geoffrey felt a familiar sense of uselessness.

He had failed Saya yet again.
__________________________________

Author's Note-

Hello everyone!
I hope you all are doing well.

As you saw, I decided to include a pretty unplanned flash back in this chapter.
I had no intention of doing this initially and there's a reason why this has not been included in the first book.

(For those of you who couldn't remember, this flashback follows Geoffrey and Saya's scene from Part 17 of His Undesirable Wife. It was after her father death. But it is NOT included in that book.)

Saya was a soft person. Many of the people call her a pushover but that's just how she was.
Not every woman out in the world is fierce.

Do remember that those were different times.
Women were taught since childhood to be submissive.
There were not any revolutions going on.

When I wrote about her character, I wanted to represent those majority of woman who suffered in silence. There are already plenty of us who write about the empowered women- those who break away from the mould.

Saya was the one who stayed in the mould.

With this, I decided to include a flashback to give some depth to her character- to let you all understand what actually went on in her mind.
And since I had already stated that this book was going to be a little 'cliche', I put it in here.

Also, I thought you wouldn't mind another scene of Geoffrey and Saya together- there were very few of them in the first book.😁

So, what did you think of the flashback?
Did you like it or dislike it?

Also, what are your thoughts on Minerva?
Anyone has any ideas on what might have happened with her?

Lastly, I just have one thing to say-
Geoffrey, my poor baby!!

This was it for this update.

Let me know your thoughts on the chapter.

Also, I tend to make a lot of typos (as you had seen in the *very embarrassing* typo of the last chapters.😅)
Please be kind enough to point out the mistakes as I don't usually have time to preview the chapters)

Stay safe and healthy!

P.S. There was a very interesting discussion going on in the comments this week- a debate on Cersei Lannister!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading them and here is my input-

I ❤️ to hate her!

Till the next time!👋