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Shivaay Singh Oberoi had been in a lot of stressful situations before. But none of it could be compared to this moment, where he had Annika lying on his lap on their way to the hospital. Omkara was driving as fast as he could, and Dadi was in the passenger seat saying some inaudible prayers while throwing some worried glances at Annika. She was not completely unconscious, as far as he could tell. She would occasionally yelp in pain with her eyes constantly closed, and it clenched the blood out of his heart.

"Shivaay..." Annika called him out weakly.

He rubbed her hand and reassured her everything would be fine. When she called him again, he bent closer to her.

"Baby..." She said and closed her eyes in pain. She placed his hand on her abdomen and looked at him with bloodshot eyes, one that would haunt him forever, before blacking out. A myriad of emotions passed through him at that moment, and he held her closer as he yelled Om to drive faster.

Time passed in a swift, and before he knew, they were taking Annika in a gurney to the do an ultrasound. Shivaay impatiently took out his phone and googled her symptoms. Seeing this, Om immediately snatched his phone away.

"Shivaay, breathe now. Let the doctor come," Omkara opined and held Shivaay's hands for a minute. Shivaay looked like a lost man, as millions of thoughts went through him. He didn't like standing there, helpless. He needed to do something. But all he could do was stand and wait as his mind yelled to him the most calamitous contingency that was possibly happening with every passing second.

When the doctor came, Shivaay stood there staring, at the closing door behind her. It took him a minute before he approached the doctor as he prepared himself to hear what he dreaded the most.

"Mr Oberoi, are you aware that your wife was pregnant?" The doctor asked, and Shivaay managed to nod as Kalyani and Omkara looked at him shocked. His eyes suddenly started burning, and his throat turned sour.

"How is Annika? Is she going to be alright?" Shivaay managed to ask.

"What your wife had is called an ectopic pregnancy. The baby had been implanted in her fallopian tube, which ruptured. She has internal bleeding, and we are taking her now to surgery." Doctor Thakur informed them in a low tone as she pulled out the consent form. When Shivaay didn't react to it, she continued, "Do you have her files with you, Mr Oberoi? We need you to sign this form."

"Her files are here."

Shivaay turned to see Rudra and Gauri turned, and he immediately grabbed the file. He opened it and turned the pages as if he was searching for something which made Gauri look at him puzzled. He immediately saw Omkara, who took the cue and asked Gauri to bring some water for Dadi. Shivaay tapped at one paper as he handed the file to Doctor Thakur. She studied it and gave him a small nod. Shivaay signed the consent forms. With an unavoidable tremor mildly taking over his movement, he handed it to her.

"Will Annika be okay, Doctor?" He asked with a trembling voice. Her expression softened, and she gave him a reassuring nod.

"She will be, Mr Oberoi."

Shivaay sat right outside the Operation Theatre, and his eyes never left the door. A few members of the Oberois and the Advanis had come; prayers were being chanted; grim had taken permanence as voices of grief, and loss spread through the air like a virus. But none of this was registered by Shivaay because his eyes never left the door. His thoughts were still like autumn leaves waiting, for the gush of wind to fall in peace.

"Annika will be fine, beta."

He turned to see the paleness personified in the frame of Vijaynath. He must have felt like poisoned arrows pierced through his heart when he had heard his little girl was in the hospital, Shivaay noted. After all, the news of the demise of the foetus he hadn't known until an hour ago felt as if a part of his soul evanesced leaving the rest of him paralysed. He could not fathom on how he'd handle Annika, and he knew his carelessness was the blame. After they had decided to keep the baby if Annika did end up pregnant despite her pill, a part of Shivaay had started daydreaming about fatherhood.

One can control the bodily desires by taking up celibacy; one can control affairs of the heart by taking up spirituality; the urge could be momentary or for a lifetime, but no man had transcended down a path where he was able to control the innate predilection towards parenthood.

When the door opened, Shivaay immediately rushed to the doctor.

"She's safe and out of surgery, Mr Oberoi." Doctor Thakur said, and the whole family took a breath of melancholic relief. Thakur looked at Shivaay and said, "You can see her after we shift her. I need to speak to you, Mr Oberoi. I also need someone to get these medications."

"I'll take the file." Vijaynath volunteered.

Shivaay nodded at him and followed the doctor, while Omkara pulled Virendar to the side and whispered something to which Virendar shook his head. Gauri couldn't help but notice this exchange which made her frown, but she had other things to worry. She held Amala and Pinky as they sobbed to each other. She needed mental preparation to see her sister attached to an IV on a hospital bed, but one look at Shivaay made her shove down her feelings. The pain he felt was undoubtedly insurmountable. When she saw him walk out of the doctor's office, he had thunderstorms rage in his eyes. His strength must have been slowly ebbed away from him as he was trying not to breakdown. Gauri immediately made Rudra stay with the ladies and went to Shivaay. She tugged his hand and took him to the water cooler.

"Jiju, it is okay to cry. No one will see you here," She said and patted on his shoulders.

Tears trickled down his eyes as he kept one hand on the wall and looked down. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths in. Gauri handed him a glass of water. It was sad that he felt like he couldn't express his vulnerability. Was it because he was Shivaay or was it because he was a man is something Gauri didn't want to ponder upon because whatever the answer may be, it was sad. He took it from her gratefully and gulped in the blue liquid.

Shivaay sat beside Annika caressing her forehead. She hadn't woken up yet. It was painful to see her lying there weakly, but he was glad she was okay. The door behind him opened, and Amala walked in with Vijaynath with a betrayed expression brimming on their faces. Shivaay looked at them and, his eyes fell on the file he was holding. Omkara came in silently and stood next to him. Shivaay did not know what to do or say.

"You knew too?" Amala finally asked and, Shivaay could only manage to say yes. The older couple shared a look. "I need to call Ma. She was supposed to take care of Annika. How could she not tell me?"

"Annika made Nani promise not to tell," Om said as he kept his gaze to the ground. Virendar came in with the others, and he was immediately greeted by a glaring Om. Shivaay silently shook his head at the trio and turned to Annika. It was not supposed to happen. But his wife was sick, and her wellbeing was all he cared.

Kalyani stood next to Annika and applied sindoor on her forehead as she said some chants. Shivaay held Annika's hand as he sat back again. At desperate times, faith was what kept a person from falling apart. Shivaay prayed to all the gods out in the universe to give Annika enough strength because he knew when she'd wake up, her world would have changed.

"I'll call you when she wakes up," Shivaay said as he was trying to muster some courage to look at Annika's parents. Their eyes were gloomy for another reason. Most of them left the room, while those who needed confrontations and explanations stayed back.

"This is the last thing she needs right now, Uncle." Omkara hissed at Virendar at a low tone.

"I tried Omkara. Bhai had the file with him. I couldn't do anything," Virendar said, defeated. Shivaay turned to look at Vijaynath and Virendar stand face-to-face. "She was hospitalized when I was visiting, Bhai."

"She made you promise, as well?"

Virendar sighed, "She told me she wanted to protect you. When I didn't agree, she said she would do it again."

"Uncle, she was not into this, I promise. It was only the third time..." Omkara was cut in by Amala,

"We were the reason, Vijay. She overdosed because of us..."

Vijaynath looked into the file again. Annika had overdosed on sedative years ago when she had just started college. Amala was right. If Annika felt the necessity to hide this, it could have one explanation- they had failed.

"Guys..." Shivaay alerted them when he felt Annika move a little. Om immediately rushed to call the nurse, while the other three stood right where they were. Shivaay saw Annika slowly opening her eyes and, he immediately cupped her face. The leftover tears that were stinging the corner of his eyes took a freefall. She looked directly at him for a brief minute, and her hand immediately went to the belly.

"Call the doctor." Annika was barely able to speak. Doctor Thakur immediately walked inside, followed by Omkara and Gauri.

"How are you feeling, Mrs Oberoi?" Doctor Thakur asked gently.

"I want to see my ultrasound," Annika responded, rather cold.

"You had..."

"Extra-uterine pregnancy, I know. I had all the symptoms, and I might also know the cause. I need to see the ultrasound." Annika insisted, yet again. She snatched it when the nurse came forward and examined it. When she spotted the bleeding, she gently touched it with her index finger as tears rolled down her eyes. "Were you able to save the tube?"

"Yes, Mrs Oberoi. There is no definitive cause for this. And this is not uncommon..."

Annika immediately interrupted her, "I know. And I also know what increases the likelihood." Annika shut her eyes tightly and tried breathing rhythmically. When she opened her eyes, she looked at the ceiling. She knew Shivaay was holding her hand; she knew the doctor was saying some words that would never console her; she knew at one glance at her parents that all her skeletons now were lying bare and exposed; she knew everything and, she knew too much.

"Can you leave me alone?" She said silently but had her grip on her husband's hand. When they were left alone, she looked at him. His eyes never left her all the while.

"The doctor said it was not the pill, Annika." Shivaay caressed her forehead and, she smiled at him sadly. There was an aura of rue around the two.

"It could have been the reason. We'll never know. It was..."

"Not your fault."

"I didn't want a child before I told you everything. I was selfish." Annika moved to her side, and Shivaay slid on the bed carefully.

"It was no one's fault, honey." He cautiously put his arm around her. She clutched his shirt and wailed her woes, and so did he, as they held on to each other while they grieved on what was lost even before they could feel it was in their chattel.