THE NERDS

I could smile and jiggle it 'til his pockets empty
I could be the CEO, just look at Robyn Fenty

***

CHAPTER XXXIV

*****

I LAID EXHAUSTED in the bed, my legs tangled with the sheets and my head rested on Daniel's chest. He had his arm wrapped around me, his thumb rubbing small, delicate circles on the small of my back as I occasionally kissed anywhere on his skin I could reach.

Everything was calmer now. I wasn't sure how many times we had came and how many positions we had been in, but by now the lust between us was starting to fizzle and in its wake was unbridled emotion. At least in my case.

With the initial adrenaline now completely gone from my body, I could barely find the energy to move. My arms felt like they weighed a thousand pounds whenever I lifted them and I had lost most feelings in my legs for the night, while between them was aching with pain I wanted to forget. It felt like all the muscles in my body were absolutely done with me.

Daniel wrapped his arms tighter around me and lifted me up, so that I was laying on his chest with my legs on either side of him and my body on his. Considering the fact that we were both still naked, I couldn't help but feel like his dick was dangerously close to me for something to not happen, but I kept that thought to myself and instead basked in the feeling of his hands on my skin, gently caressing the pain away.

“What did...” I lifted my head up at the sound of his hesitant voice, waiting for him to say what he wanted to say again. “What did you and Pablo talk about?” he asked, making me frown.

I had forgotten about that; forgotten about the fact that we still needed to talk. Our problems didn't just magically go away with sex, I knew that, but was now really the time?

“I—” I stopped myself, pondering what I was going to tell him before saying anything. I didn't want to start lying about unnecessary things, but there were also some things that we did talk about that I couldn't just say to him without expecting him to be hurt by it. “We talked about you,” I answered, making him roll his eyes at my vagueness. “We talked about Emma, Celeste. Anna. We talked about a lot of things.”

He didn't say anything, letting the heavy silence settle deeper and deeper between us before I let out a sigh and continued. He knew exactly what he was doing.

“I listened to him,” I said as if it made any sense. “I mean, I listened to his points and I understood where he was coming from.” Daniel tensed under me, obviously assuming the worst but I placed his hand right over where his heart was beating and turned up to him with a reassuring smile. “But I was sure about you; about us and I wanted him to be sure to. So I told him to watch the relationship in the time that we're here and if he thinks we're bad for each other, then he can break us up.”

Daniel frowned at my words, his eyes not giving anything away, but I knew exactly what he was thinking.

“You're testing our relationship,” he said slowly, his eyes meeting mine as I sighed and sat up. I had his shirt on so there wouldn't be anything to distract either of us from the main issue at hand.

“Only because I'm so sure of us,” I said gently, my voice never rising or taking a different tone. I knew I would be if not mildly upset if I was in his shoes. “I want him to see what I see.”

“And if we fail?”

“We won't,” I said, immediately shutting down the thought. I took his hands and carefully interlinked our fingers, admiring how perfect we seemed to fit each other before looking into his eyes. “We won't. We're the dream team. Danaceli.”

He chuckled at that, the humour in his eyes hard to miss as he looked up at me with fondness in his eyes. “You trust Pablo a lot, hmm?”

“I'd have to,” I shrugged. “He was the only who took care of me. Gave me love, shelter, warmth. Even when my mom didn't and he never expected anything in return.” I lay back down on his chest, snuggling into him. “Pablo's loyalty is like no other. I love him so much and I hope he finds someone that makes him happy some day because he deserves it. No one deserves love more than Pablo.”

And Anna now that I thought about it. A frown came to my face at the thought of Anna, my earlier conversation with Pablo coming back to me. I had her number stored in my phone now, but it was only a matter of when I was going to call her. By the way the sun was still down, I knew it was still early, but my anxiety decided it was just the right time to start obsessively worrying about it.

“You're not still with me out of pity, right?”

I snapped my eyes up to meet Daniel's gaze at his words, my heart beating harder in my chest, yet he looked calm. He didn't seem nearly as angry as I expected him to be.

“Daniel, I'd recommend you talk to Pablo yourself and figure out what he was trying to say, because the shit he said to you back there was a load of bullcrap.” I sat up and cupped his face, my heart fluttering in my chest at the relief I could see he felt. “I don't want you hearing any of Pablo's shit and thinking it's true. I had started liking you after you saved my life. I liked the boy that went out of his way to save a girl he didn't know and saw more in me than any of my friends and family saw. I liked you then and the guilt I felt after I had helped Morgan had never overrode that.”

“You felt guilt,” he said as if he was strung up on that lone word.

“I did, but that guilt only made me think it was my obligation to serve you and make you happy. Beyond that, I had always wanted you more than just a friend.”

“Is that why you killed Vincent?” he asked  taking my hand away from his face as he peered intently into my eyes. I knew then that the conversation was taking a much more serious turn as I let out a sigh.

“I won't lie to you,” I said dejected, “It was partly the reason why I went along with every one of your whims. The other reasons, I'm not sure of but I don't want you to start dwelling on that right now.”

It was too late. There was a look he was giving me that made me realise that I was probably going to end up in tears by the end of this discussion.

“I manipulated you,” he said as if trying to make me see reason, but there was no point in him doing so. I had two years to analyse our relationship and question where it went wrong and the destination he had reached now, I had reached a long time ago.

“It's okay.”

“No, it's not,” he hissed, obvious anger in his eyes yet he didn't seem angry at me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me down to him, holding me tight to his chest as he buried his head in the crook of my neck. “I saw that you fell at my every whim and I used that against you. I've been so bad to you and all you've ever been was good. All you've ever wanted was the best for me. I am so sorry.”

“I-its okay,” I stuttered, feeling my head go dizzy at the influx of emotions swarming around in me. Was this really happening? Was this happening? I couldn't properly wrap my head around it. “It's okay. I forgave you a long time ago.”

“I don't deserve it,” he said, shaking his head.

“I—”

“Listen, amor,” he said, cutting me off as he grabbed my face and forced me to look into his eyes. “Everything that belongs to me is yours, you understand?” I nodded my head blankly, not fully understanding his words at all. “Anything you'll ever need, no matter what it is, just ask. In fact, you don't even have to do that. You sent me your account number, si?”

“D-Daniel,” I said, stunned by his words before finally gathering myself together and frowning. “Daniel, money isn't going to make me love you any more.”

“I don't care. I just want you to be comfortable and have everything you need,” he said, trailing his thumb over my cheek as he looked at me softly. “Someone needs to start taking care of you because you've suffered enough. Someone needs to start returning the love you give others.”

I hadn't even noticed the way my eyes were watering until the first tear had slipped down my cheek, opening the gates for the rest to follow through. “Daniel,” I weeped, making him chuckle and pull me tighter into his chest again.

“You're so sensitive.”

“I-I,” I grabbed his biceps, holding it tight as I swallowed down my fear and willed myself to stop crying. “I love you,” I confessed, feeling the way he tensed up under me. “I love you so much.”

He remained quiet, but I didn't care if he said it or not. I just needed to get it off my chest so I wasn't expecting his feelings to develop as fast as mine did. I think I had more years than him anyway. I really wasn't expecting him to say it back.

Yet he did.

“I love you too.”

I cried harder into his chest at his words, trying to compose myself enough to tell him that he didn't have to say it back to me, but sob after sob climbed out past my throat and I only found myself clinging onto him tighter. He kissed the crown of my head, rubbing soothing circles onto my back under his shirt.

“I love you too.”

***

Daniel had left at some point during the morning for business he told me. So that left me and Teo alone together in the big house I was yet to explore. Although, I guess we weren't really alone since they had guards patrolling every square metre of the property. Every window I looked out of, irregardless of the direction it was facing, there were at least two guards in my view.

It made me feel... safe. There was a time when having so many guards, seemingly monitoring me unnerved me, but now after what happened, the more company I had the better. Even though, in the house it was only really Teo and I. After giving him his breakfast and then a bath, I remained locked up in the room Pablo had prepared for me, sat at my sewing machine with my mannequin half constructed together. Of course, I brought her with me from my old apartment. There was no way I could leave my most prized model.

Mateo was either on the bed or on the floor depending on what he felt like, playing with the wide array of his toys I had also brought from the apartment for him. He was getting to that age where he could freely play with his own toys by himself without needing me to encourage him to. As his interests developed, I knew his play would become more specific and easier for him and I couldn't wait to see what he'd develop an interest in.

As he played happily on his own, I sewed the skirt and the bodice of the dress before settling into my armchair and getting to work with the intricate stitching. Mateo, noticing my sudden change in position walked over to me, his brown eyes peering up at me with wonder before trying to climb onto me like a ladder.

I laughed and placed my sewing down, careful to tuck the needle away before I picked him up and placed him on my chest. He let out a deep breath, his chest expanding against mine before he rested his head on me and relaxed. I placed a small kiss to his head before picking back up my sewing and continuing with the little I had got done. Minutes passed and as the stitching got easier, I found myself doing it automatically as my thoughts trailed off.

I thought of Daniel and the conversation we had last night. He had told me he loved me, yet it wasn't as comforting as I hoped it would've been, no matter how hard I tried to pretend it was. As much as I could scream from the tops of every mountain that Daniel was a changed man, I found myself reluctant to believe in which was in fact ironic.

I wasn't angry at myself. I wasn't angry at the skepticism that settled itself in my chest. In my mind there was always that lingering thought that maybe he did love me or maybe this was another one of his manipulation tactics. Maybe this was him giving me a small amount of affection at a time so I thought the relationship was alright and I would fall to his will again.

Although he had apologised for that, I couldn't shake the feeling. It wasn't like an apology wasn't just words anyway. Words that he could or couldn't have meant and the fact that I couldn't read him made it even more difficult.

Despite that, I wasn't too bogged down about it. There was no reason to be angry and upset over my own minds defense mechanism built after being manipulated and used. It was there because it had happened and I wasn't going to try and stop it. The only person's thoughts I had access to was my own and I knew deep down in my heart that I loved Daniel so much that I was willing to go to the ends of the earth for him.

He didn't need to love me. As long as he was good and loyal to me, that's all I cared about but if he did; if he truly did love me as much as I loved him, time would tell. I'd see it in his actions and his attitude. After all, actions did speak louder than words.

Lost in my thoughts, the needle had pricked my finger, bringing me back to the real world and making me place the garment on my lap before I bled all over it. Although it was red, I doubted it would show but hygiene was a factor in the equation as well.

I used some tissue to wipe away the very small amount of blood that had just managed to squeeze out and wrapped a scrap piece of cloth around it before going back to my sewing. I didn't have time to wait around hunched over a pinprick. If I intended to get my client her dress by the deadline, with the duration of delivery from here to Malibu then I needed to get the move on.

I calmed Teo who had fallen asleep on my lap before picking him up and settling him on the bed. I placed him on his back, his head resting on the pillows but he immediately rolled onto his stomach instead, making me smile gently over him. I sat beside him and continued sewing my pattern, trying to focus on my work this time so I didn't hurt myself again, yet like that I found my thoughts trailing

This time to Pablo and Anna and Celeste. The people that I had "left behind" two years ago. I remembered Pablo's words, explaining to me what Celeste had done for me in my absence. Or at least tried to. She fought for me and tried to find answers on my whereabouts. I didn't think she would care. Not just that, I thought she would be happy that I was gone, yet she wasn't.

I had convinced myself that she hated me, but it wasn't the case. I sat still for a moment, my lips set in a thin frown as I looked down at my hands, a pink ribbon around my wounded index finger. Why did I always allow myself to believe that so many people hated me? I was annoying, I knew that, but I wasn't so hate-able that so many people would do so. Did these people actually hate me or did I just hate myself?

I shook my head at the thought provoking question. This wasn't the time to start becoming my own psychologist and philosopher. There were a few things that I needed to do. A few bridges I had burnt in my past that I now needed to reconstruct.

I thought back to Celeste, my mind in turmoil as I remembered what she did to Mateo, yet I didn't think it came out of a place of malice as weird as it sounded. I could tell for a long while that Celeste wasn't comfortable with kids, so it made sense that she didn't want to be near him much and so she handed him to a maid in which she had been made to trust.

If that was what really happened, as stupid as she was to give Teo to another person, she wasn't as guilty as she made herself look that day in front of Lucy. What did I know though? I couldn't read her mind and I didn't want to. Daniel told me that he loved me and I couldn't believe him, yet here I was drawing conclusions from the things that someone else failed to say to me.

I guess they were different situations though. I judged them both based on their past behaviours and as selfish as Celeste could get, the only thing she had ever done out of ill-intent was slap me. Twice. It sounded worse than it actually was.

After Celeste, there was Anna and at the mere thought of her name, my heart sank in my chest. Anna was my closest friend but I couldn't even remember the last time I had spoken to her. I used to know her inside and out but now, I couldn't even talk about the most basic things that went on in her life. I couldn't even say that I tried anymore because I didn't.

I knew she wanted to talk to me. At this point, the ball was entirely in my court but I wasn't picking it up and I wasn't sure why. I guess I had convinced myself somehow that no matter how hard we tried, we'd never be able to pick back up the pieces of our relationship and return to our former glory. I didn't want to be right, so the longer I want without trying to reach out to her, the longer I got to hold on to the fact that there could be a chance. What I didn't realise was that the longer I held off on calling her, the more she slipped away from me. And she would keep slipping until I lost her completely.

I bit down on my bottom lip to help keep the tears away as I sewed in my last stitch before climbing off the bed to my model and beginning to attach the bodice to the skirt at my machine. Along the way, I had heard the slamming of the front door, telling me that someone was allowing themselves into the house, but I decided that I wasn't going to care now. It was most likely either Daniel and Pablo or a guard and I didn't want to risk going down for it to be Daniel and Pablo.

There was a lot I wanted to talk about with Daniel but not before I finished my dress because I knew our conversation was going to be long. I positioned the dress back on the mannequin before working around it with my needle and thread to try add any finishing touches before I called Travis.

Once I was done, I stood back and regarded the garment in mild approval. It wasn't like the dress was bad. It was good which was expected because it was my work, but I usually had a very high standard for my clothes and this dress just barely met that, which to me wasn't as great as it could be.

Despite that, I called it a day because it met every requirement I set, especially the most important one, answering the question "would I want to be seen wearing this outfit?" with a loud and confident "yes!". I picked up my phone to call Travis before remembering the issues we had beforehand and hesitating.

What was up with me and burning bridges?

I let out a sigh and put the phone down, deciding to go downstairs for a much needed break instead. After checking on Teo, I made my way out the room and down the stairs into the kitchen, finding it empty. I couldn't help the disappointed ache in my chest as I scanned all of the first floor for either Daniel or Pablo. I knew I had been avoiding them, but now if it turned out that they still weren't home, I was going to be even more upset than I already was.

“Are you looking for something?” a voice had said from the dining room, frightening me and making me want to run away until I realised who it was.

“Daniel!” I exclaimed before shooting into his arms before I could hold myself back. I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face in the crook of his neck and breathing in his scent as he chuckled and held me.

“I'm assuming you missed me then.”

“So much,” I admitted without the slightest inkling of shame. “I was so lonely.” I pulled back, my eyes scanning over the empty dining room and my brows farrowing. Slowly, I looked to him again. “Where's Pablo? Did you guys fight?” I asked, immediately thinking the worst.

He shook his head and gently rubbed the side of my waist to calm me. “I left him at the office.”

“Oh,” I said, somewhat relieved that there was no bad blood but still confused. “Why?”

“Because I couldn't get you out of my mind,” he answered, leaning down to place a small kiss on my lips. “I needed to see you.” I felt my heart melt in my chest and instead of saying anything, I wrapped my arms tighter around him. “How are you feeling now?”

I looked up to him, a devious grin on my face. “No, you didn't succeed in paralysing me, last night if that's what you're asking,” I said, taking a couple steps back just for show and masking the pain I actually felt with a smirk. “Mission failed.”

“I guess I'll just have to try again then, wouldn't I?” he said in his usual low voice, this time more seductive as he took my hand in his and pulled me back into his chest.

I stumbled for a minute, so drawn into his deep brown eyes that I forgot where I even was before reality washed over me and I pinned a glare on him.

“So that's your plan, huh? You want to see me paralysed,” I tutted and shook my head, stepping slightly out from his chest. “Enemy of progress. It's always worse when it's your own family too.”

The look on Daniel's face once I had referred to him as family had my heart beating slower and my bloodstream being flooded with endorphins. He looked happier than I had ever seen him and slowly, with a smile on his face, he leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes.

“Hmm?”

I narrowed my eyes at him, crossing my arms over my chest. “I'm sure you heard me, bucko.”

“No, I don't think I did.”

“Well then, buddy, that's your own problem 'cause I'm not repeating myself.”

Daniel slowly peeled his eyes open at my words, the humour ever so clear in his eyes but the smile fading. “I'm not your buddy,” he said in a low voice, hooking his hand into the waistband of my skirt and pulling me closer into his chest.

“That's not up to you to decide, buddy.”

“Are you sure about that?” I could see the challenge in his eyes and before I could accept or deny it, his hand had slid smoothly between my thighs, resting onhs and making me bite my lip as I maintained eye contact.

It wasn't like anyone was around to catch us.

“Boss, I—”

I must've spoke to soon because in that exact moment, a guard came tumbling through the door, his eyes going wide once he realised what he had walked into. Daniel dropped his hand and turned to look at the guard, his eyes dark and threatening as the poor guy looked between my nonchalant expression and Daniel's cold one knowing that if it wasn't good, Daniel might just attach his leg to the bumper of his car and drive at high speed down a gravel road.

“I-I can come back later. It's really not that important,” he stumbled before making his way out of the dining room as fast as lightening without looking back.

I couldn't help the humour that came onto my face as Daniel rolled his eyes and looked away from the door the guard walked out of. Slowly, he looked over to me, his gaze softening at the smile on my face.

“You're so scary.”

“You're not scared,” he countered, his eyes narrowing at me.

“Am I supposed to be?”

“Only in the bedroom,” he said casually, making me smile before he slipped his hand into mine. “Come on. Let's go.”

“But Mateo,” I tried to say, not wanting to leave him alone in the house even though he was sleeping.

“We'll be in the backyard, don't worry,” Daniel reassured, briefly stopping to open the backdoor before slipping out and helping me step out.

He led us to the other side of the deck, where a sturdy swinging chair gently swayed with the breeze and took a seat on it, gesturing for me to sit beside him. I did as I was told and instantly melted into his embrace once he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his chest.

“Tell me about your day,” he said, making me let out a sigh as I thought about all of the overthinking I had done before he came back. At least I had got other work done too.

“I finished my dress for that client I went to see.” He seemed surprised at that and looked at me with a confused look on his face.

“It didn't take long.”

“It usually doesn't if the design is simple,” I said, shrugging. “A couple hours if you're skilled. Some dresses only take up to an hour.”

He looked impressed, making my heart swell up with pride for myself. I hadn't realised how that may have sounded to someone who wasn't like me, but after saying it out loud it made me aware of all the hard work I had put in to get to where I was today. All that I had now was a direct reflection of the work I had put in from the beginning and I deserved it and much more.

I repeated that in my head like my daily affirmations.

“Where did you learn to sew?”

“I've always known how to sew,” I answered, shrugging as best I could in his hold. “But as soon as I got out the hospital, I applied for my diploma. Because I never "completed" high-school but I finished the course, you know that?”

Daniel nodded, a faraway look in his eyes. “I remember Pablo telling me that you were ahead.”

“I was,” I confirmed. “If I had stayed in school, I would've graduated by sixteen. I did advanced everything ever since taking advanced subjects became an option and I maintained a 3.8 GPA throughout the year. It would've been 4.0 but chemistry always found a way to kick my ass.”

“You've always been this smart?” he asked, looking surprised which made me want to punch him in the face. What was that supposed to mean?

“Academically, yeah. I didn't have any friends, so I spent a lot of my time studying.”

Daniel looked confused and opened his mouth to ask something, but closed his mouth again, deciding not to. Instead he asked, “You didn't go to college, no?”

“No. I took an apprenticeship for six months. Before that, I was working with some highly esteemed people to create costume designs. Like movie producers, music producers. You get it. Even some musical productions. Then I branched out a bit, started actually making the clothes I designed and selling them and people liked it, so here I am?”

Daniel's interest in my career surprised me. He seemed like the type that would prefer to encourage me to not work, but instead, he seemed supportive of it. Almost even proud of it.

“So would you want to open a big design company some day?”

I had toyed with the idea for a while even before he had asked and I had never been surer of my answer than I was then.

“No.”

“No?”

“It doesn't call to me,” I explained, “not even the money. I don't want to be famous. Nothing about that life appeals to me.”

The first time I had told Derek about that he had been surprised. Maybe a little disappointed and so had everyone else I told including Morgan. Daniel, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind it.

“It makes sense.”

We sat in silence for a while before I bristled up and looked up at him. “Now tell me about you.”

“You already know about me.”

“No I don't,” I denied, making him roll his eyes. “Did you go to college?” I asked even though I already knew the answer.

“Yes, I did actually,” he said sarcastically, making me giggle. “UAN. University of Arms and Narcotics.”

I couldn't help but burst out into a fit of laughter at his words, my stomach hurting as I struggled to calm myself. I didn't know how he thought of some of the things he said so quickly. Looking past all the scary, brooding stuff he was actually a witty guy. It made me wonder how he would've been if they had allowed him to grow up normally.

“I don't remember what GPA I graduated with,” he said after a while, finally deciding to talk. “Somewhere in the mid threes or something, I don't know. After that, Lucien trained me to take over. College was never an option.”

“If it was though, what would you do?” I asked, making him stare out into the distance for a moment before shrugging.

“I don't know.”

“I think you'd do computer science,” I said, making him smile down at me. “I mean like that's what you do now, isn't it? All the brainy computer stuff and whatnot. Coding, tracking, hacking. You do all of that.”

“It's why we're so advanced,” he said, not wanting to start bragging about how incredibly intelligent he actually was.

Being Pablo's sister, I basically knew more about Daniel than he probably thought I knew. I knew he taught himself how to code from a young age, raised money himself to afford advanced classes to help develop his skills, was doing small jobs for big companies at the age of seventeen alongside some of the biggest names in the tech industry and received a scholarship from MIT which he had to decline. He was such a bright young mind but following in Lucien's footsteps he was forced to snub out the bright light within him and it made me want cry for him. In an alternative universe, Daniel would have had his life set out for him by seventeen.

“You're so smart,” I muttered, wanting him to at least know that I believed he was smart even if he didn't. “You're the smartest man I know. What a nerd.”

“Shut up.”

*****

I always forget what I want to say until I've posted the chapter its actually getting on my nerves now.

Anyway, after last week's author's not, why not give yall a nice light chapter? It's kind of weird that we're finding out all this important information about them a whole book and 30+ chapters into the story, but let's not mention it, okay?

Anyway, if yall want an update about me, I'm trying to broaden my reach. So my insta account is active again (@clarewrites_ if anyone is wondering) and I've also been dappling into different genres but that's not important right now.

I'm just trying to write this next chapter. I might just jump straight into the drama if I get bored but we'll see.

Anyways, yall stay safe. Bye 👋