THE NECKLACE

❝I may cry ruining my makeup,
wash away all the things you've taken,
and I don't care if I don't look pretty.

Big girls cry when their hearts are breaking.❞

***

CHAPTER IV

*****

I REMAINED SURPRISINGLY calm for someone who had just cleaned up the murder scene of her own mother. The shocked scream I let out when I first discovered her amputated body was as emotional as I got throughout the whole ordeal. Even as I drove home, there was nothing. I just felt empty.

Teo couldn't sleep. I knew by the way he still sucked on his pacifier that he was agitated and he was on the verge of tears. I knew he probably wasn't sure what was going in, but it was obvious who could tell something wasn't right. Babies were smarter than they let on.

We drove through the night silently, different cars whirring past us, but none of us speaking up to start playing the car games we usually played.

I found myself parked in front of Morgan and Derek's apartment instead of our own. I didn't think much about it and instead hopped our of the car with Mateo on my arm. I set him down on his feet because I couldn't remember if he had walked at all that they and let him follow after me, his little legs having to run to keep up with my strides.

We reached the elevator and soon I found myself in front of their door, knocking on it impatiently. Teo wrapped his arms around my legs, but I couldn't do anything to comfort him. Emotionally, I was unavailable and I hated every second of it.

I hadn't even realised whan the door had opened until Morgan's voice had broken me out of my thoughts.

“Ara? What's wrong? Why are you covered in blood?”

I stared at her in confusion, wondering what blood she was talking about before looking down at where she was staring. My top was completely drenched in blood that was nowhere near dry, yet I hadn't seemed to have noticed it.

Panic came over me when I thought about all the people who could've seen my appearance and assumed the worst, but then the realisation that my mother was dead and I was covered in her blood after disposing different pieces of her body in a garbage finally hit and I couldn't stop the bile that had risen up my throat.

I pushed past Morgan, accidentally causing Mateo to fall, but I couldn't look back as I ran towards the bathroom, hunched over the toilet and puked my guts out.

My head was a mess of jumbled up thoughts and I choked on my own vomit as sob after sob ripped through me. I was only then realising that my own mother was dead.

My mind flashed back to the scene, the bathroom that I ensured looked spotless without the slightest drop of blood before I left. I thought of how warm everything felt - how fresh it all was.

Maybe if I had gotten there earlier than I did, then something would have changed. Maybe I would've been able to catch her murderer and stop him. Or maybe I would've died with her.

She had been expecting me. That much was clear. It was almost as if she knew she was going to die, but she still wanted to tell me something.

She had been thinking about my wellbeing even in her death.

I wailed louder, scooting away from the toilet seat and pressed my back against the wall.

She had been thinking of me even in a time that she was supposed to be thinking of herself. And the last things that I had said to her...

“Oh my God,” I wailed, holding my hand to my mouth so Mateo wouldn't hear me. I didn't want him to worry about me.

I willed myself to regain my composure and step out there so I could be strong for Mateo, but no matter how hard I tried, I could only sit there, rocking myself back and forth.

It was almost as if I could see her. Like if I just stood up and looked over the rim of the bathtub in front of me, I would see her again. All broken up and jumbled.

Dead.

I stayed rooted to my place, shaking the thoughts out of my head. Everything was so real. Everything felt so real. It was like she was still with me, still hugging me.

And then I remembered that I was still wearing my top soaked with her blood and I screamed.

I scrambled up into a sitting position, half hazardly pulling the top off and throwing it at the bin near the sink. I dug my nails into my skin and looked away from it, rocking back and forth as if to comfort myself.

I watched the scissors on the countertop - the one that Morgan most likely used to cut her own hair - and contemplated how deep it would have to be for it to end it all.

But then I shook the thought out of my head and instead thought up the smile of Mateo. The way he looked at me. The way he needed me.

Mateo needed me.

“Teo needs you. Teo needs you.”

I didn't stop chanting the same three words to myself even as I heard the bathroom door quietly being opened. I jumped as Morgan brushed her hand against mine, but relaxed once I realised that it was just her.

“Come on, sweetheart,” she said, her voice soft as she slowly coerced me onto my feet. “Let's get you cleaned up.”

I let her drag me to the bathtub, the relief I felt at not seeing my mother in it being one that I couldn't physically explain. She filled the tub halfway, testing whether it was too hot or too cold before helping me into.

I couldn't help but notice that in that moment, she was incredibly patient even though I originally saw her as a no bullshit kind of person.

The water turned bloody immediately after I had sat in it, but I couldn't really find it in me to care anymore. The necklace around my neck felt like a burning rock on my chest and in my worst moments, I found myself idolising it again.

Daniel said that he would protect me and maybe, somehow he was the one that stopped me from going earlier and getting myself killed.

I wrapped my fingers around it and before realising what I was about to say, I spoke up. “I wish Daniel was here.”

I felt the air in the room still and become cold as Morgan froze. She didn't look at me. I didn't think she could. If I was her, I didn't think I would be able to look at me either.

But in that moment, I was lost. So I continued.

“He would know what to do,” I muttered, running my finger over the engravement of his name. “He would ground me.”

“You don't need him, Araceli.”

“But I do!” I fought back, looking up at the pitiful expression on her face. “I'm walking around, pretending that I'm strong and I have my shit together, but I'm not. I'm lost. I need Daniel.” I sighed and looked down at my fingers. “He makes me feel worthy.”

The silence between us stretched on for an uncomfortable amount of time, but it was almost as if I didn't feel it. I knew Morgan hated the topic of Daniel. She hated acknowledging that he even existed and I wondered why, because it was me he wronged.

It was me he wronged because of her.

Maybe she still regretted what she did to him. She still regretted attempting to take his life because she knew then that he was innocent of everything he was being accused of. Maybe... Maybe he was even innocent of what had happened to me.

Or maybe I was just grasping at straws because I needed something to hold onto.

“We should call Doctor David tomorrow morning,” she said softly, playing with my hair as my eyes filled with tears and I looked up at her.

“I'm not crazy, Morgan.”

“I'm not saying you are. But you're not in a good place right now and we need to sort that out.” She frowned at me and wiped away the tears that spilled down my cheeks. “You're too pure hearted to be suffering as much as you are.”

We sat in silence again and then she asked the question that I had been dreading hearing ever since I drove back. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

I burst into a fresh set of tears.

***

Derek had to send some men back to the scene just to make sure that everything was properly cleaned. He said he was also going to try and find the person behind it, but I wasn't sure I cared much.

I just didn't see a point in it. My mother was dead. Nothing was going to bring her back. Even if I found the bastard that killed her, what good did that do to me? It didn't bring my mom back and what I wanted the most in the world was to have her with me.

Morgan told me to forgive her and I didn't. And now it was too late to do anything.

“Considering how recent and fresh everything seemed as you described it, there's a good chance that the murderer had still been in the house when you were there.”

Morgan slapped Derek's arm for saying that, but I couldn't find it in me to care. I was half laying, half sitting on the sofa, playing mindlessly with Teo's hair as he played with his alien as if I wasn't even there.

While the both of them continued bickering, I thought back to the little note that I had taken from her house thrown somewhere in the glove compartment of Derek's old car with the address to where my father was written on it.

The question of whether I was going to follow the address arose.

I wasn't in the mood for anymore heartbreak. I felt like if I went and saw him, I would be getting news of his death a week later too. I didn't want that.

Plus, I wasn't even sure I was going to get answers. Every time I thought I was one step closer to getting the answers I needed, something would bring me three steps back. I was tired of chasing something I wasn't even guaranteed of seeing.

I didn't think he could give me protection because very obviously, my mother had been relying on protection from him and now she was dead.

Yeah, no. Daniel's necklace was enough for me.

I couldn't help but wonder if he knew that she was dead. If somebody had already told him. Was he feeling as broken as I did? Was he blaming himself?

I didn't know who to blame.

Usually, in situations like this, I would blame myself. I knew better than to do that now though because I had grown up a lot in two years. Unfortunately, that meant that when I didn't automatically point a finger at myself, it left me confused as to who was actually as fault.

As humans, we always needed somebody to be at fault. It was how we coped with things. I guess, in this situation, the only person I could blame was the person who so ruthlessly cut her up and left her there so I could clean up the mess they had made.

I decided that I would leave my father as he was. I didn't need him.

“I've almost finished with your dress,” I said, getting Morgan's attention as she turned away from Derek to look at me. “Do you want to see it?”

She frowned. “Araceli, the wedding should be the last thing on your mind right now.”

I smiled at her brilliantly, putting on my tough girl façade and pushing myself up into a sitting position. “Hold on right here. I'll get it for you.”

She tried to call me back, most likely so I could open up and talk about my feelings and figure out a way to cope, but I didn't think she quite understood that this was how I coped. Immersing myself in my work until I forgot about my troubles. It wasn't healthy, but it always got me through the bullshit.

I walked to my room and pulled out the huge box from underneath my bed before walking back into the sitting room with it.

“Derek, get out,” I commanded, making him snap his eyes to me before rolling them and standing up.

“I don't who made up that stupid bullshit about wedding gowns and grooms but I hate them.” He marched over to an oblivious Teo and picked him up, not forgetting to bring his alien with him. “Come on, little man. Let's go get some ice cream.”

And with that, he walked out of the front door.

Morgan's lips were set in a straight thin, reluctance shining in her eyes but I smiled again, more genuine this time because I knew she was really going to love it.

I set the box down in front of her feet and teasingly pulled the top off slowly before getting too impatient and throwing it away. With delicate fingers, I raised the bodice up and watched the way her jaw dropped at the site of it.

The dress was a stark white satin with small little details embroidered into it  and sequences sewn into the lace along the embroidery. It was only the top part so I didn't have to worry about the weight yet.

“This is just the bodice because I still need to add a couple hand stitches to the skirt, but I hope you like it.”

“Araceli, it's beautiful,” she sighed, gently prying it out of my hands and holding it up. “I honestly feel bad for not paying you for this.”

“Dont fret, girly,” I said, waving a dismissive hand at her. “Your husband have me his Cadillac so even if I did want money, that's enough.”

“This dress is worth more than a Cadillac!”

“I doubt it.”

“Thank you,” she said, her eyes watering as she handed it back to me. “I'm being honest when I say this, but you're the most innocent, most pure-hearted person I have ever met.”

I raised a brow at her words as I carefully placed the bodice back in its box. “Innocent?”

“Because no matter how many times people hurt you and how much bullshit you go through, you're still so willing to give love.” I looked up at her, tilting my head to the side as she smiled at me. “You may make your mistakes, but your heart's always in the right place.”

I doubted that, but I still smiled warmly at her and for a second, I found myself believing her.

*****

Okay, anyway Sia stays my main bitch idc what you think I love her so much.

Like so many people sleep on all her old songs but they're literally so good like they're golden.

And Araceli is amazing. I can't be the only one who thinks she's a mafia boss in the making. Right?

And yeah, Danny will be making an appearance in this book soon. Yall may not like it though. There's your warning.

Anyway, I'm doing online school and I want to say that I miss being on this book 24/7 even though I'm on wattpad all day anyway.

I've been so busy it hurts though.

:(

See yall next week I guess.