THE PROMISE

❝No one's ever gonna hurt you, love.
I'm gonna give you all of my, love.
Nobody matters like you.❞

***

CHAPTER II

*****

MEETING MY MOTHER couldn't have gone anymore wrong. I had been building up to this moment for months, thinking that after doing it, I would finally be at peace.

But I wasn't.

I had more questions running through my mind than I had before I met her and it was eating me up as I got into the car and began driving away.

Did I want to meet my father? I couldn't remember him. The last time I had seen him, I was only young and according to what I knew, he didn't have a hand in our separation. He had still made a deal with me though. A deal selling me for protection.

That was enough reason to go after him.

I had no idea what this deal meant. Who was involved and what were the terms? Was there a loophole? A specific clause for me that could result in the termination of it?

Did everything change now that I had Mateo, or was it only going to get more violent? I knew that the attacks on me stopped once I had given birth to my son, but for how long? What were the reasons?

This wasn't how the meeting was supposed to go. I should've been driving home with a clear mind and peace within my heart, but instead I was questioning everything from the start all over again. Questioning everything that I had ever known.

Soon I found myself driving down the familiar road lined with suburban houses. I parked in front of the large, white one with sixty-five nailed to the grey door before getting out of the car and running up to the porch.

I hadn't taken my finger off the doorbell before it swung open, revealing a familiar face to me.

“Aunty!” Max exclaimed, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head on my stomach as I laughed and ruffled his hair.

“How are you?”

“I'm fine,” he muttered into my stomach, not minding the way I ruffled up his 4c hair. It was soft to the touch so whatever Morgan was doing was working well. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, sweetheart,” I said, pulling away from him and crouching down so I was his height. “I promise one day I'm going to take you out and we'll spend the whole day together. Just you and me.”

He beamed, wrapping his thin arms around my neck and really squeezing into me. I couldn't help but laugh again. Max wasn't a huge fan of Teo, but he seemed to adore me.

“Come on! Morgan and grandma are in the sitting room.” Ge latched onto my hand and pulled me towards the sitting room, not hesitating to announce my presence as soon as we stepped in. “Morgan! Look who's here!”

Both Morgan and her mother, Rachel, looked up at us at Maxwell's declaration.

Morgan's mother, Rachel, seemed to be the exact replica of Morgan with long, tumbling red hair and vibrant green eyes. Her smile warmed the heart of the coldest people.

The little boy who was sound asleep on her lap suddenly jumped, his eyes wide and alert until they settled on me. He grinned and reached out for me.

“Mama!”

I couldn't help but stare in stunned silence for a moment. My son was reaching out for me, but I could only focus on how much he looked like Daniel when he smiled. Even with a pacifier in his mouth, he was the carbon copy of his father.

The way his eyes closed when he smiled wide enough. The way he looked at me sometimes was also just like Daniel did. Like when I did something stupid, their judgemental gazes were exactly the same.

Even though his hair was black like mine as opposed to his father's lighter shade of brown, he still had the exact same curl pattern. And his eyes - God, his eyes - were the exact same dark colour as Daniel's.

He was almost like his father's clone and I found that in my worst moments, I worried that I would fear him in the future. As of now though, he acted nothing like his dad. Even though he couldn't speak much, he was miles more affectionate than Daniel. I hoped that it wouldn't change with age.

“Do not tell me that you don't see your child reaching for you,” Morgan said, breaking me out of my trance as I looked at her before looking at Mateo.

He was pouting now, most likely feeling rejected and I felt my heart break in my chest. I quickly walked over to him and scooped him up into my arms, holding him close as I gave Rachel an apologetic smile.

“I'm sorry. He just looked a lot like...” I trailed off, not wanting to say the name out loud, but Morgan had caught on.

“He does. They're almost like twins,” she said, looking at him fondly as he rested his head on my chest and stared off at the wall.

The fact that he wasn't fighting for me to put him down meant that he was going to fall asleep, so instead of putting him down, I held him in my arms and rested on the arm of the sofa Morgan was sitting on.

I turned to Rachel with a smile which she returned.

“How did it go?” she asked, making me sigh and look away. I really didn't want to talk about it, but I knew shutting myself off wasn't the best thing to do either.

“In short, it was bad,” I said, making the both of them cringe at the same time. I found it hilarious how alike they were. “She was incredibly remorseful but I...” I shook my head and thought back to some of the things I had said. “There was something we didn't really agree on and I said some nasty things to her.”

I felt Morgan's hand on my knee, comforting me as I imagined she was giving me the same sympathetic look her mother was giving me.

“You should consider forgiving her,” Morgan spoke up, making me look to her. “Not even for her. For yourself. So you can move on understanding that you've done all that you can do.”

She was right. I had never planned to meet my mother for any other reason than to get closure. Forgiving her was the best thing to do, but after taking off my bandages, I realised that my wounds were still open.

I was still hurting from what she had done to me and I was only beginning to grasp that it was okay. I couldn't force myself to forgive her when I was as sensitive as I was because I knew it wouldn't be genuine and it would only cause the bitter feelings to grow.

What I needed was a way to heal. A way to close all my wounds before I moved on to the next chapter because if I didn't, I knew the blood from the previous chapter would seep out and ruin the rest of the book.

I was going to forgive her when I knew that I could do it adequately because if I didn't, it wouldn't be fair on her or me.

“I will. Just not now.” They seemed to understand that and didn't ask anymore questions. “She said something about meeting my dad too.”

Morgan snapped around to look at me with wide eyes. “That man's still alive?”

“Girl, shut up,” I said, pushing her shoulder as she pushed me back, almost making me fall off the armchair.

“Why are you this violent?” her mother asked, making me nod along with her in agreement. Morgan just shrugged and rolled her eyes. “Just like her father.”

“I'm just like you,” she piped in as Rachel most likely opened her mouth to deny. “You're the most violent out of the pair of you.”

“I'm not as violent as you,” she countered, continuing the back and forth as I sighed and looked down to Mateo who was slowly drifting off to sleep in my arms.

His eyelids would droop and close for a few seconds before he would wake up and the same thing would ensue seconds later. I decided that I would make it harder for him and softly rubbed his back in the way I knew always made him sleep.

He caught onto what I was trying to do and whined, wanting to wiggle out of my embrace but he only ended up snuggling more into me. I set myself down on the floor, resting my back against the sofa behind me as I turned him to face me and let him rest on me without hurting his neck.

He whined again, but there was no fight left and soon he was snoozing peacefully with his head on my chest and my shirt bunched into his fist tightly - as if he was afraid I would go away.

“Aww. You're giving me baby fever.”

I looked away from the small boy and to Morgan with a large grin.

“You've only got a month to go now,” I said, making her grin at the thought of her wedding in a month. “Then you and Derek can make another Max.”

“Please,” Rachel sighed, running her hand down her face. “I only just got her to stop yapping about her wedding. Don't remind her.”

“You're supposed to be more excited for this than me,” Morgan groaned. “What kind of a mother are you?”

The question had suddenly reminded me of the fact that she hadn't raised Morgan and the only daughter she had raised was currently in a psych ward. The air around us became tense before the two women began laughing, reaching out to clap each other's hands before leaning back and wiping the tears from their eyes.

“Thank God I did not raise you,” Rachel said after finally composing herself. “You would've been a nightmare.” Morgan sighed and nodded, her hand on her stomach that probably ached by now.

“Okay...” I drawled out, looking between the two before shaking my head and getting up. “I should be going now. I have a project that's due by yesterday and I need to put the child in his bed.”

“You take care of yourself,” Rachel said, waving at me as I made my way out of the sitting room.

I beamed at her, waving back before perching Teo higher on me and letting Morgan follow me out the door. At least I had them to take my mind off the situation with my own mother.

***

“I have your car.”

“Which one?”

“The Cadillac.”

“Which one?”

I stared ahead for a while, hoping he could feel the burn of my glare from where he was. “I hope you can feel the judgement in my eyes.”

He burst into a fit of laughter, making me roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest. There were some people who just didn't deserve to have money.

“Keep it.”

Derek wasn't one of them.

“What did you say?” I asked into the phone, making sure that I didn't mis-hear something as I put it on loudspeaker.

“I said keep it,” he said, slower this time as I furrowed my eyebrows.

Did he mean keep the car until he was ready to pick it up? Maybe he meant keep the car safe when I returned it to his house. Or maybe he even meant that I should keep some money in the car.

He didn't mean that I should keep the car.

“Keep the damn car, Araceli,” he said, sounding tired of my inability to speak. “It's as simple as I've said it. The car is yours now.”

“But why?” I asked, taken aback by his sudden act of kindness. It wasn't like Derek wasn't normally kind. I just hadn't expected something as big as this. “Derek, I can't take your car.”

“Yes, you can,” he answered like the snobby smart-ass he was. “Just take it. I already have way too many cars anyway and it's not like I'm going to be driving it anytime soon. Keep it.”

“It's not even in my name,” I argued. “What if I get pulled over by the police and they arrest me? I'm black, you know that right? I'm black.”

He let out a snort of laughter at my words. “I'll sort that out as soon as you accept it.”

I paced around the kitchen, gnawing on my nail as I continued to speak on the phone.

“Derek, no.”

“Araceli, yes,” he mocked, making me roll my eyes again. “It's the least we could do since you've singlehandedly made Morgan's wedding dress as well as all of the bridesmaid's dresses.”

“Thats a gift!” I defended. “You're not supposed to pay me back.”

“And the Cadillac is a gift too. So just accept it and say thank you.”

“Derek...”

“Say thank you, Araceli.”

With a defeated sigh, I leaned onto the counter and stared ahead at nothing in particular. “Thank you.”

“Atta girl,” he said, making me roll my eyes and smile. “I'll get all this ownership bullshit sorted and then it's all yours.”

“Seriously,” I said, my voice dropping to show that I wasn't joking. “Thank you, Derek. You're way too generous to be normal.”

“What?” he said, laughing softly on the other end of the phone. “I'm not normal now?”

I frowned and shook my head. “No, you're not. I thought you already knew this.”

“Morgan's rubbing off on you,” he chuckled, making me smile at nothing in particular. “Before I forget, how was it today?”

I sighed, silently wishing he had forgotten but kept the comment to myself. “We didn't end things on the best of terms, but I'll be going back to see her again next week. I might bring Mateo with me so she can meet him.”

Hearing me say his name, he looked up from his toy alien at me instead. Without having to call him over, the one-and-a-half-year-old hopped off the sofa in the sitting room and came sprinting over to me, making me laugh at the funny way he ran.

He raised his arms once he reached me and I picked him up and balanced him on my hip.

“Just be careful with him,” Derek said on the other end of the phone, his voice becoming serious. “You know who he is.”

“Yeah,” I nodded even though I knew he couldn't see me. “I do. I'll make sure that he stays with me at all times.”

“Good. Because you can't trust anybody.”

“I know. I know.”

“Look,” he sighed, “tell me if anyone tries to disturb you for any reason. And tell Baby Junior I said hi. Okay?”

“Okay,” I said, rolling my eyes at the nickname he had for Mateo. “Bye, Derek.”

“Bye, Ara.” That was the last thing he said before he cut the call.

I set the phone down on the counter and turned to Teo, feeling my breath hitch as I caught him staring at me with the utmost adoration in his eyes. My heart beat slower in my chest and I smiled warmly at him as I raised a hand to brush his unruly curls out of his face.

I didn't think anyone truly understood how much he and I had been through together. He suffered with me. He won when I won and lost when I lost. He was happy when I was and cried when I cried. Teo had always been there for me and I knew nobody was going to love me like he loved me. And I was never going to love anybody else more than I loved him.

The bond that he and I shared was vastly incomprehensible, but so strong and so unbreaking. And he wasn't even two.

“You're my ride or die, you hear me, boy?” I said, carrying him into the sitting room as he nodded as if he actually understood what I said. “If anyone gives you trouble, you come to me.”

His lips stretched into a smile and he sucked his thumb into his mouth. I settled on the floor in front of the TV in our small apartment and stretched my legs out in front of me before setting him on my lap and bouncing him up and down.

“I love so much, baby. And when you grow up, no matter what happens, I never want you to doubt that.” He rested his head on my chest and continued sucking his thumb, silently listening to what I was saying. “I'm always going to be your biggest supporter.”

“I know it's just you and me right now and sometimes you might want your dad. Or you might get lonely and want a little brother or sister. Or I might make a mess of being your mom, but I'm always going to try. I swear, I'm never going to give up on you. I'll be your father, your brother your sister, your aunt and uncle. Your mom. I'll be everything you need. All I want is for you to have a little patience with me because this is all just as new to me as it is to you.”

He lifted his head and looked at me as if he could understand what I was saying before resting it back on my chest again and grabbing my shirt in his free hand.

“I'm always going to be your mother. Nothings going to change that.” I thought back to how I was raised, both the good and the bad and then I looked down at him, dozing off again on my chest and sighed. “I don't care what you do. I'll always be your mother.”

“I'll always steer you in the right path and guide you. I'll let you know that you'll always have options and that you can be whoever - whatever - you want to be. I'll always teach you how to do the right thing.” I gently stroked my hand through his hair, hearing him sigh against me at the feeling. “And your mistakes will never define you as a person. As long as you learn from them, your past isn't who you are.”

“I'm going to give you everything I wish I had when I was growing up. Even if you try to push me away. Because you will always be worthy of love, sweetheart.”

*****

And that's on period.

Kinda wish she said this to be honest.

Anyways if you want to find out what happened between Rachel and Morgan (which tbh you should know by now but I'm slow at updating) you should def go read Morgan's book.

Yes, that was a shameless plug. Fight me.

Anyways, I've decided to make chapters longer since I'm only updating once a week. I used to have a maximum of 3k words on each chapter but now the minimum is 2k and there is no maximum. It'll probably make the book shorter too because I'll be able to notice which details are necessary and which aren't.

Editing is going to be a bitch though :(

Anyways, don't read out loud but think out loud and let me know your thoughts by commenting.

LMAOOO THAT USED TO BE ONE OF MY OLD CATCHPHRASES WAY BACK WHEN.

Best believe ima start using it again like that shit was so smart.

Okay, yall bye.