THE VISIT

❝Tell me, how do you sleep when you lie to me?❞

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CHAPTER I

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I MUST'VE REALLY liked Doctor David. And I meant liked him more than the measly, little crush I had seemed to develop towards him because there was no other logical reason to explain why I had agreed to do this today.

Not that me liking him was a logical reason, but it was better than the one about hypnosis.

“A good way to feel at peace with yourself and move on from your past is to talk to the person you most detest,” I mocked him from my seat, scrunching up my face and making my voice deeper than normal.

I didn't need closure to move on. I needed to bury my head in my work until I forgot my heartache. I needed to secure another bag.

Not my mother.

Yet, there I was anyway.

I breathed out the negatives and breathed in the positives thoughts like Doctor David, my therapist, had thought me to do. As much as I liked to deny it, he was right. The only problem was there were no positive thoughts.

In that moment, sitting in Derek's white, eye-catching Cadillac in front of the dingy bungalow my mother who I hadn't seen for nine years resided in, I could think of nothing positive. It was all negativity.

If I had a choice, I wouldn't have even been there, but I needed answers to fully move on. I couldn't deny it. I had enough on my plate juggling a job that had ne working most hours of the day and a toddler. The last thing I needed was the lack of sleep from all the questions and anxiety the lack of answers were giving me.

I had put this off for two years, but it was now or never.

It's not like she wasn't expecting me anyway. The private investigator had to approach her first and acquire her consent for me to see her.

Not that she had much of a choice at all, I was still going to show up whether she liked it or not. In fact, she should've been thanking God that I was just as much of a wimp as she had proven herself to be.

I sighed again, scolding myself for always losing track of my thoughts. I picked up the small passport picture and smiled at the adorable grin on Teo's face before throwing it in my bag and finally opening the door.

I stepped out, taking note of how my car was probably going to get its windows smashed if I took too long. The neighbourhood looked like the type that you speed-walked through at night so you didn't get jumped.

The only cars that lined the road were beaten up and looked liked they dated all the way back from the nineties. Some houses had shattered windows which were replaced by either cardboard or a bin bag. Thankfully, that wasn't the case with the house in front of me.

I felt like I was being watched even though I was the only person standing outside. I shook the feeling off. There was no point in acting surprised when I couldn't stick out anymore than I had made myself. If it wasn't my car, it was my clothes.

I didn't know who I was trying to impress with my tight-fitting white dress and white thigh-high boots but it definitely wasn't doing much for the people in the neighbourhood, watching me through the cracks in their curtains.

They could've at least come out and said hello.

I held my head up high and closed the car door, making sure to lock it as if that would make a difference before walking up the cracked pavement towards the front door. I pressed the bell, but after a minute of waiting with no sound coming from it, I realised that the bell probably didn't work.

Rolling my eyes at how stupid I must've looked to my little audience, I curled my hand into a fist and knocked three times. This time, the sound of shuffling from behind the door could be heard.

It took a while before the person behind had opened it, but once she did, I couldn't help but wish she had taken longer.

Memories that I had spent so long trying to push down had resurfaced. And the worst part was it wasn't even the bad memories anymore.

It was the good ones.

As much as I could rant and rave about how much of an asshole I thought my mother was, there was no denying the feeling that I still loved her.

And I missed her.

Everything we had gone through, all the times that we had suffered and she still made sure that I never lacked anything. In that moment I found the tears stinging the back of my eyes. I began blaming myself again, asking myself 'what-if' questions and thinking that maybe if I was just a better daughter...

But I knew better.

What I did was stupid, but what she did was heartless, foolish and unforgiveable. Sure, I wasn't the smartest of people, but I wasn't the one that kicked myself out.

I had worked hard to get to where I was and I wasn't going to let a meeting tamper with my mental wellness.

“Oh my God,” the lady in front of me muttered quietly. She placed her hand over her mouth and let her eyes drink me in as I did the same to her.

It seemed like she had hardly changed in eight years. She still looked the same with dark skin, warm brown eyes and straight black hair that never grew longer than her shoulders.

That was the reason why she kept me away from relaxers.

She was wearing a long, black shapeless dress that reached down to her ankles, but nothing else stood out which confused me. I was so used to seeing her in the best kinds of clothes.

“Araceli,” she breathed out, her voice soft and tickling my heart as her brown eyes, which were now filling with tears, met mine. “Come in. Come in.”

She stepped to the side, allowing me room to walk in while she closed the door behind us. I slumped my dark blazar off my shoulders and placed it on the oak side table before taking in my surroundings.

The house was nothing like I had expected it would be. For one, it was a complete mess even though my mom was a neat freak, like I was. It was also insanely cramped, but I knew she preferred open spaces.

“Please, sit down,” she said, gesturing to the brown armchair in the corner of the small sitting room. I sat as she had instructed and looked up at her as she wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. “Is there anything I can get you? I just moved in a couple weeks ago, but I think I have some—”

“I'm fine,” I cut her off, my voice coming out small as I took in my surroundings. She didn't even have a television and the wallpaper seemed to be peeling off. There was a huge whole in the wall that was half covered my an empty picture frame and an old, tan-coloured carpet that I believed used to be white in the sitting room, but apart from that it was empty.

She took a seat opposite me, her back facing the covered windows as I snapped up to meet her gaze.

“How have you been?”

Her voice was soft and quiet, nothing like I had remembered it. Maybe it was the nerves acting up.

“I'm fine.”

“I can see that,” she snorted, making me raise an eyebrow at her. “You look so beautiful and... Healthy.”

That's what a good family can do to someone.

I bit down that remark and instead continued to analyse my surroundings while she continued to analyse me.

“How has your life been?” she asked, getting my attention again.

“It's been okay.” I decided to stop with the stupid answers and instead went digging through my bag. Finally finding the picture, I pulled it out and handed it to her. “You have a grandson.”

She took the picture from me, her hands shaking as she stared at it. “He's beautiful,” she muttered softly, her hand stroking the image as if it was Mateo. “He's going to break many hearts when he gets older.” She then looked at me, her gaze softening. “He looks just like you.”

“He looks more like his father,” I commented, remembering Teo's curly, dark hair like Daniel's and his deep brown eyes. If it wasn't for his hair colour, it would've been like he had taken none of my features at all.

He was even lighter than I expected him to be, but I blamed that more on my mixed heritage than on Daniel. Having ancestors from all kinds of backgrounds meant you never knew when they would make an appearance in your child.

“Seu pai é branco? [His father is white?]” she asked in Portuguese, making me watch her carefully as I answered.

“Yes. Hispanic.”

“Mexico?”

“Mm,” I hummed, nodding my head as she turned back to the picture.

“He'll get darker when he's older. It happened with you,” she said under her breath, her eyes glazing over as she most likely thought back to that time. “Whoever his father is, he must be a very handsome man.”

She held the picture out for me to take, but I shook my head. “Keep it. And, yes. He was handsome.”

“Was?” she tilted her head to the side. “Is he dead?”

Dead to me, yeah.

I refrained myself from saying that and instead shook my head. “He's no longer in my life. He wasn't the person he said he was. He was too dangerous for me.”

She didn't seem to understand and I sighed and got up from my seat, not knowing whether I should tell her or not.

“His name is Daniel.” She was too old to recognise the name, so I called one that was more up her lane. “He's Lucien Reyes' son.”

Her eyes went wide and she started shaking her head from side to side. “Ara! You're in big trouble! You have his heir. You can't keep him from his own son!”

“You think I don't know that?” I snapped, glaring at her as she shook her head and stared down at her hands. “Not a second of the day passes were I don't think Daniel isn't watching me. Every shadow I see is his. Every nightmare I have is about him.”

“Araceli, you need to give him back his child.”

“Over my dead body.”

“He won't spare your life if he finds out about this. You can't.”

“Over my dead body,” I hissed again, my voice so cold I couldn't even recognise it. “I suffered for Mateo. I went through hell for Mateo. And I'm ready to do anything for Mateo. Anything to make sure he doesn't have to go through bullshit in his life.” I looked out the window, just catching the stare of an older white lady passing by. “Mateo is his own person. Not anybody's heir. If he wants to run a cartel; so be it. If he wants to go to college; so be it. My son has options.”

There was silence for a bit and I turned around to gauge her reaction only to see her staring at the picture of him. “Mateo. Is that his name?”

“Yes,” I sighed and looked away. “Through all odds, he stayed with me. He gave me reason to continue. He's my miracle.”

She sighed again, letting me know that she was truly troubled. “Araceli, it's his son we're talking about.”

“I didn't come here so you can convince me to do exactly what you did and abandon my child,” I said, whipping around to pin a fierce glare on her as her eyes filled with guilt. “I came here to see if you were okay.”

“But your life is at stake—”

“Mateo is my life! I have no meaning if I don't have him with me. He means everything to me, don't you understand?” I looked her straight in the eye, daring her to say anything else. “I need him.”

She buried her head in her hands and let out a shaky breath. “This is all my fault.”

“Damn right it is,” I agreed, not even feeling remorse. “You were too busy trying to save your name in front of Cindy and the church fellowship that you didn't even give a second thought into who's hands you were pushing me. You didn't even care to see if I was alright for all these years. You didn't try to help me.”

“Araceli—”

“I'm going,” I said, cutting her off as I picked up my bag. There was no point in staying there when all I was achieving was the opposite of what I wanted. I knew she was fine, there was no reason to stay there anymore.

I walked towards the door, but she caught onto my wrist and pulled me back, making me to turn around and glare at her tear-stained face.

“C-Come back next week,” she said, her voice shaky and strained. “I know someone who might be able to help protect you.”

“Soneone like Isaac?” I sneered, making her tilt her head in confusion. “You trusted that man and he turned out to be a backstabber. Delivering updates about me and you to the exact person you were running from.”

She closed her eyes in obvious pain, but I continued. “Did you know he knew exactly where I was the whole time I was away?”

She looked like she wanted to say something, but instead shook her head. “This man that I'm talking about... He helped me get away with you and he would've done well if I hadn't trusted isaac.”

“Well then? Who is he?”

She looked up and met my eyes, hers shining with determination. “Come back next week,” she said pushing me towards the door as if suddenly in a hurry. “And I'll tell you where to find your father.”

And just like that, she had slammed the door in my face not bothering to address my confusion.

What the fuck was I going to tell David now?

*****

That you want him eight inches deep in your pus-