I could feel the knife pierce my skin, creating a new entrance into my back as it buried itself deeper. I blinked at the odd feeling, pain lightly buzzing in the back of my mind.

I could feel myself lose control of my legs, as they attempted to collapse underneath me. But within the same second, I managed to catch myself, unsure what was going on.

The Twins had finally returned, carrying two small cans with them. I felt disappointment course through me, ultimately knowing I would once again go hungry for the day.

Xena stared at me from her spot, her wide eyes unblinking. I wondered how I appeared to her. Did I appear frightened, although I wasn't? Or did I appear as calm as I felt?

"What the hell was that Cowen?" Levi snapped, his own eyes holding fury. It was as if he had been the one who was attacked, not me. It didn't make sense.

"She didn't do shit to you! You had no damn reason to attack her," he continued and I found myself blinking at his usage of words. He was cursing, something that wasn't necessary.

"Go to hell," Cowen muttered, and we all watched as he walked out, disappearing from sight as he turned the corner.

I almost told Levi his language was not useful, but my words forgot their intended path when Xena lightly tapped my shoulder, now beside me.

She didn't say anything, but guided me away from everyone and out the room. She took me over to a small area that they had covered with unknown fabric long before I came here.

We went inside, shutting out the sun as she sat me down on what appeared to be a box. The make-shift room didn't hold much, only the box and a broken cabinet behind me. Xena was currently rummaging through it.

I sat unmoving as she gently lifted my shirt, inspecting the wound. She touched it, studying me as she did so.

"Does it hurt?" She asked, and I shook my head. She watched me again, as if perhaps I would change my answer, or convey that I was lying.

When I didn't do so, she went back to the cabinet and began mending the wound.

I sat there wondering how much pain I was supposed to feel. Judging by Levi's reaction, it was an immense amount. Yet I felt nothing, only the odd sensation that something was wrong.

I could only feel the exhaustion wearing down at my bones, attempting to make me give in. I could feel the small void space somewhere inside me, waiting to be filled again. I could feel a part of myself missing Varian.

It was ironic how much I missed him. When he was around, I hated him more than I had hated anything. I had hated the change that clung to him like a second skin. I had hated how much he had changed my life, and the small world it had resided in. Now, I missed him more than K could express.

"Have you ever lost someone?" I asked Xena, still facing forward as I did.

I could feel her hands pause in their work before I saw her vaguely nod at the question, her face somber.

"I lost a sister, an older one. The both of us were running low on food. I told her that there was enough for us to wait a little longer. But she insisted that she go out, because she didn't want either of us to starve.

I spent the whole day cleaning and waiting for her. I thought perhaps she's found something, or was in hiding. But as another day passed, I became worried, so I left our hideout."

Xena's voice grew more and more quiet as she told her story. My body had tensed, not enjoying the direction it was taking.

"I found her one block from our hideout. A single block from home. It looked as if she'd been dead for more than a few hours, because of the way her skin looked.

It's funny, because she left in search of food, yet they killed her for her clothing. When I found her, they didn't have the decency to cover her up; they couldn't afford to waste in material on her. She was just lying there, naked, her eyes staring at the sidewalk."

I frowned, reminded of a similar experience I'd seen. The boy killed for food had done nothing wrong either, yet he was brutally beaten.

"This is why the Outside shouldn't exist," I said, my voice firm. "They spend so much time scouring the world, fighting and killing uselessly over items the Lab provides freely. It's cruel."

I thought Xena would agree with me after the story she had shared. But the opposite was what happened.

I could hear her make a noise of disgust at my suggestion. "They don't give anything away for free Arcelia. They take your life away in trade for those things," she started, her voice bitter.

"I would rather my sister have died on the streets like she did than be trapped in that place like a rat," she said, a complexity of emotions swirling within her words.

Their hatred towards the Lab didn't make sense to me. I was the only one allowed to feel something towards the place, as I was the only one who has truly experienced it, excluding Cowen.

As much as I was upset with Him for lying to me, I didn't hate the Lab. I didn't share their intense feelings of disgust towards it. The Lab had been my home at once, providing me with a supple amount of food daily.

In the Outside, it was questionable whether you would find food. What was't questionable was whether it would be an efficient amount, as it never was.

The Lab did make harsh decisions, however, if they didn't, it would be as chaotic as the Outside was. They had valid reasons for their choices, whether the others were able to see them or not.

I believed if they all looked past their emotions, and thought rationally that perhaps they would see my side. They would see the Lab was not as they thought it to be.

I could feels Xena's hands move from my body as she finished patching me up. I wanted to explain to her why the Lab was different than she perceived it to be, but she never gave me the chance.

"You need to rest," she murmured, and before I could respond, she walked away.