N A N D I N I

** Flashback continues....**

We were on our way to Manik sir's friends house. The drive was not awkward as I had expected it to be. There was slight music in the background behind. I was looking out of the window and sir was driving with us
exchanging a few eye locks.

"Miss. Murthy?" He called as he parked the car. I looked at him and nodded.

"There's going to be media outside, and I don't think you like being the centre of attention or in the limelight as much as I have noticed. So keep your head down, let your hair cover your hair and walk in straight. Okay?" He asked. I nodded in a yes nervously.

I hated being in the spotlight. Before coming to Mumbai, I had promised my family that I will never let my name get disclosed in the media. Because that had destroyed my life ten years back. That had- never mind.

I got off the car and Manik sirs hand wrapped around my waist. I was shocked.

He looked at me and gave me a meek smile before we walked in.

And yes, he was right. There were media flashes everywhere. However, we managed to get a quick escape.

As we entered inside, his hand left my waist but I shamelessly wished it could have lingered there more.

I followed him inside when an old man, came to greet us. I thought it was some college friends party but he looked quite old....

"Manik!" The man called and Manik Sir immediately touched his feet and then hugged him. They exchanged pleasantries and Manik Sir seemed to have liked that man since he spoke to him normally without giving him cold glares atleast.

"And who is this young lady?" He asked taking my hand and I gently smiled at him.

"She's Miss. Murthy!" Manik Sir replied back almost immediately. Argh!

"So is her name Miss?" He asked with a wink as he teased him. I liked the old man instantly.

"No, her name is... her name...." Manik Sir stammered.

What the fuck? He doesn't even know my name?

I rolled my eyes at him. Some unknown fear crept in me, I felt hurt. The first guy I probably kissed on his cheek doesn't even know my name.

Great going, Nandini! I'd have to introduce myself.

"NANDINI!" There was a voice behind us.

We both looked behind in shock and I, in utter delight.

"Aryamman!" I almost screamed as I left Manik Sir's hand and ran to him.

He gave me a side hug and I gave him a happydent smile.

Manik Sir came ahead too and hugged Aryamman.

"He is my college friend and this is his party...." Manik Sir explained but I ignored him. I was hell angry and hurt.

"And she is-...." he started introducing me to Aryamman but he stopped her in between.

"She is Nandini bro! You got her as your date and you don't remember her name?" He said as he looked at him amused and I did so.

He flushed in embarrassment. Good for him!

"You both know each other already?" He asked us confused.

Aryamman looked at me and winked while I smiled. Manik Sir looked angry at the way me and Aryamman were behaving so I decided to go along teasing him.

"You look absolutely stunning Nandini! Red is my favourite colour. Mujhe maarne ka irada tha kya?", Aryamman said winking at me.

Before I could reply anything, Sir replied for me.

"Red is MY favourite colour, and she is MY date. Uska iraada sirf mujhe maarne ka tha!" He almost threatened Aryamman as his hands lingered around my waist again and he pulled me towards him.

I was so shocked that even a single word wouldn't have come out of my mouth. Even if someone would have asked me my name, I don't think I would have been able to say that.

"My god Manik! Is been so many years yet nothing has changed about! Still that possessive boyfriend..." Aryamman winked at him.

Did this guy love winking at everyone?

But my eyes widened when I heard possessive boyfriend.

"He is not my boyfriend..." I stated it as a fact.

"Oh! So my pretty lady is still single?" He asked and I know he was just teasing us but I went along and nodded my head.

"So that means I have a chance..." he said playfully.

"NO! You don't!" Manik Sir scowled angrily as he dragged me away to the rest of the group.

"Holy muffins! What the fuck?" I whispered as I saw the sight.

"NAVYA!" I shouted and all looked at me.

She picked her blue gown up as she ran towards me and hugged me, and I scrambled backwards, thankfully not losing the balance.

"I'm sorry, happy happy happy birthday meri jaan!" She whispered in my ears and I hugged her tighter.

After we broke the hug, I and Navya were so busy exchanging pleasantries that I didn't even notice anyone on the floor.

"Nandini, meri jaan, mujhe maarne ka irada hai kyaa?", Cabir said as he came ahead and hugged me, and Manik rolled his eyes since he had stayed the same words that Aryamman had said.

I mentally giggled. "Dekh tere liye meine iss bandariya ko apna date banaya!" Cabir said and Navya pulled his hair.

We all sighed. Navya and Cabir were both RJs and hence they were always at war.

Mukti had not attended the party because of her last minute plans. Though I missed her, I kept my mouth shut.

The music was turned on and Aryamman, as the host requested all the couples for a couple dance.

Dhruv came ahead and asked Aliya's hand which she happily gave in and they both walked. Awww!

"Sochna bhi math mein tumhe dance karaunga!" Cabir scowled as he left and so did Navya in the other direction, stamping her foot to the ground.

I hopefully looked at Manik who was busy by the bar, surrounded by other girls. My heart fell and I looked away when I saw a hand forwarding to me.

"May I get a chance to dance with this beautiful lady?" Aryamman asked on the mike drawing all the attention to us. I smiled a bit as I gave him my hand and he took me to the floor.

His hands wrapped around my waist and he asked me from his eyes if that was okay and I smiled in assurance. I kept both my hands on his chest as we twirled.

Raaton ke jaage subah miley hai
Resham ke dhaage yeh silsile hai
Laazmi si lagne lagi hai
Do dilon ki ab nazdeekiyan

"So, you like him a lot, haa?" He asked me looking into my eyes.

"No, how can I like Manik Sir, he's my boss?" I replied in haste.

"But I wasn't talking about Manik, I was talking about Cabir!" Aryamman replies teasing me and I bit my tongue at the mistake I had made.

He twirled me and I landed in somebody's arms as a part of this dance. 

His hands wrapped around my waste as my back hit his chest and I leaned on his chest, smiling, because I knew exactly whom it belonged too.

Dikhti nahi par ho rahi hain nazdeekiyan
Do dil hi jaane lagti hain kitni mehfooz nazdeekiyan

He twirled me and now I faced him. The smile on my face wouldn't leave anytime soon and I loved the way his eyes stared into mine.

"sir, aap?", I said, pretending to be shocked when the fact is that I had realised his touch long back.

"jitna mujhe apne se dur karogi, utna hi tumhaare paas aa jaunga mein..." he said looking into my eyes.

The atmosphere was thick and high end- awkward.

"You don't like dancing right?" I mocked at him as his hands clutches my waist tighter and he pulled me closer.

My heart beat fastened with every move he made. He, and only he, has this effect on me and will ever have.

We moved here and there at the same place and before I could realise, his forehead touched mine.

I rested mine on his too, finding my ultimate peace there.

Zariya hain ye aankhein zariya
Chhalakta hai jinse ek armaano ka dariya
Aadate hain inki purani
Ankahi si keh de kahani

Parchaaiyan do judne lagi hai
Dekho hawa mein udne lagi hai
Pankh jaisi lagne lagi hain
Do dilon ki ab nazdeekiyan

"What is this, sir?" I asked him slowly, whispering.

"I don't know, but jo bhi hai, Acha hai", he answered in his husky tone, satisfying my heart.

His lips brushed on my forehead, then finally topping in the centre, planting a long kiss there.

I could have stayed there forever but it dawned upon me that we have audience.

I slowly pulled away, shy from the encounter. This was all so new to me. To see my monster boss being so kind to me, caring for me, being possessive. I wasn't used to all this.

I went to the small balcony attached there, to avoid all the gaze
on me.

"Nandini!" He called out. My heart skipped a beat, it really did.

It was the first time ever he called me by my name and it sounded so perfect from his mouth. So, so perfect.

His hand barely touched my back and I shivered with his touch. It drew doodles there and I wished to never pull apart.

But I turned and he looked shocked.

"Kya ho gaya? Aryamman yeh kare toh tumhe koi problem nahi hai?" He asked me. He was back to his cold tone.

"What do you mean?" I snapped back, my mouth open in shock.

"Why? Why did you let him touch you this way? Hold you this way?" He said as he clutched my waist harshly and pulled me closer as he leaned forward.

I tried pulling apart from that monster but his grip was too tight for me.

"Aryamman kare toh tumhe koi problem nahi? Mein karu toh kyu?" He asked. My eyes welled with tears.

Was he questioning my character?

I pulled apart from him with all my force and pushed him away. "I thought that you've started changing Manik Malhotra, but you can never change. You can never respect girls!" I spat with disgust in my voice as I ran from there.

"Nandini!"

"Nandini!"

I heard him follow me but I didn't wait. I ran down the stairs holding my gown up. I suddenly felt like Cinderella who's time had ran out.

I reached street as I walked on the footpath. I rubbed my tears away from my hand and my face threatened my smudged mascara.

"Nandini!" I heard his voice again but I ignored and I kept walking aimlessly.

But before I could register, I heard some screeches like that of a truck. I moved my head only to find the truck near by me. There was a huge flash and a shattering sound.

I couldn't register anything around me except the chaos. My body was seized with pain and I felt as if I was ripping apart.

I could just hear Manik sir's screams again and again and the next I could see was blood all over my eyes and hands. I was in his hold and his eyes were moist.

Each cell of my body pained and my eyes threatened to close. The pain in my body didn't seem to lessen but that in my heart overcame it.

"Please don't leave Nandini, don't leave me just like Soha did. Please"

My eyes let a few tears fall off and the last thing I saw was his tears too as I gave up in his arms.

________

~• PRESENT •~

Nandini's POV

I tried pushing him away but he didn't listen anymore. I tried running away but his grip was too much.

"Leave me Manik!" I whispered.

"I can never do that, never!" He whispered back.

"You're wrong. This is wrong. Please leave me", I begged but it didn't effect him.

"Please"
"Please"

He never listened and he didn't even now. His hands ran over my bare skin.

I begged. I pleased. He didn't listen to me.

His hands were on my skin, all over my body. I could feel his lips on my skin, my neck.

I tried pushing him away but that never happened.

I tried running away from him but that never happened.

I tried distancing myself from him but that never happened too.

He pulled me closer and I tried running away but that never ever happened. I was under him and I finally gave into his demands.

I was tired. Tired from fighting with myself and him.

"NOO!" I got up with a jerk. Shit! It was just a nightmare.

He's away from me with his girlfriend. He's away from me.
Away from me.
Away.

I tied my hair in a bun and sipped a drink of water. It had been a month since that phone call dare now and he had not even recognised my voice.

I tried calming my nerves and switched on the television.

I searched through the channels. But my heart and the remote, both stopped at one.

It was an interview. Fab5's interview.

Jitna tumhe dur karti hu, itne hi nazdeek aa jaate ho tum...

"Manik Malhotra, your voice holds so much pain. Is this because you have loved someone? Are all those songs dedicated to someone?" The female reporter asked.

Manik smirked and then winked at her.

Something's never change.... never.

"Yes, they are dedicated to someone. But she is far away from me now. She's far by distance because in reality she's the closest one to me. She's my star, she lives in my heart. Everything, each action, each song is dedicated to her. Not only my music, my heart is also dedicated to her..." He said. His smile was genuine and Mukti gently held his hand as her own eyes moistened.

My heart flinched and the tears cane flowing out.

My heart knew he was talking about me but my brain would never accept this fact.

He was a liar. A fucking liar.

I took the remote and threw it on the television, whose glass came breaking down into a million pieces, in the same way that Manik Fucking Malhotra had broken my heart in a million pieces

I healed him. I built him with my love and he destroyed me with the same.

The more I push him away, the more he comes back to me.

"jitna mujhe apne se dur karogi, utna hi tumhaare paas aa jaunga mein...", his voice echoed in my ears in flashback.

Sometimes by his interviews, sometimes by our old photographs. And now even in my dreams- nightmares.

Manik Malhotra, you disgust me.

You disgust me much more than I ever loved you.

Yet, deep down my heart I know that everytime I tell myself that I hate you, I just remind myself that I don't hate you. I just hate the fact that I can never hate you.

I just hate these uninvited nazdeekiyaa, inspite of the wished dooriyaa.

~'destroy what destroys you', they say; but darling, I just healed you, and you inturn destroyed me~

~•~