N A N D I N I

*flashback continues*

I wiped my tears and drank a sip of water. I couldn't get Manik's words out of mind.

"you might be a Juliet or a princess Nandini, but I can never be your Prince Charming"

"we all chose roles, I play that of a monster, a destructive monster"

No matter how strong I portray myself to be, these words always find their way back to me and haunt me down.

My thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of my phone.

Cabir.

I immediate picked up the phone.

"HELLO!" Aryamman screamed through the other side.

Aryamman? But it was Cabir who was calling me.

"Before you use your brain Einstein, the phone is a conference all between you, me and Aryamman", Cabir boomed through the other side.

Einstein. Jhansi Ki Rani. There was something seriously wrong with my Cabir.

"Earth to Nandini!" Aryamman shouted again.

"Oh yeah, sorry.... hi!" I greeted flushing.

"Nandini, are you okay?" Cabir asked.

"Yes, mujhe kya hua hai?" I lied trying to sound all normal.

"Yeh fake khushi aur strong rehne ki acting mere saamne math karna. Meine kaha tha na humara janam-janam ka rishta hai?" Aryamman scolded from the other end.

"Wait! Janam-Janam ka rishta agar kiska hai toh that is me and Nandini!" Cabir bickered. "Tu meri jagah lene ki try math kar uski life mein, she is just my jaane-mann", Cabir joked.

"Haa baba okay, voh teri behen hai, khush?" Aryamman teased.

"Aryammannnn!" Cabir gritted his teeth.

I was just staying silent listening to their conversation. I was so happy to have them in my life.

"Guys! Guys! Is this why you called me?" I finally intervened.

"Nahi, Nahi! We called you to inform you about something........", Aryamman's voice faded.

"Haa?"

"Actually, after leaving from your house, I had gone for an informal meeting outside with my old friend at a club. And umm, I saw Manik there. I mean, he was alone. I don't think he was with someone, but I don't know since I left after seeing him to avoid necessary problems...", Aryamman said. I took a deep breath.

"So, we just wanted to warn you against him. I mean, mera best friend hai voh, and I've seen some feelings in his eyes for you. But I'm sure yeh uske saath first time ho raha hai, he doesn't know how to handle these feelings. And humein darr hai, that he'd take some wrong step in jealousy", Cabir concluded.

I silently prayed to god, thanking him for sending these two angels in my life.

"I'd be careful guys, thank you", I said, unsure of what I should say.

"Just promise us you'd keep your distance from him? I mean, don't take any wrong steps?", Aryamman asked.

"Promise, I'd maintain my distance", I chirped.

"That's like my-... our Nandini!" Cabir said, finally allowing me to be shared with Aryamman too.

I giggled and so did Aryamman.

"So how about we meet tomorrow? Morning walk?" Cabir asked.

"Sounds like a plan", I said happily. Finally I'd be able to spend some time with my friends without these stupid games of Manik monster Malhotra.

"Okay, we'd come at 6am to wake you up?" Aryamman asked and I confirmed.

"Okay then baby, take care and sleep well, okay?" Aryamman asked.

"She's not your baby!" Cabir intervened. I sighed at my impossible best friends.

"Goodnight Guys!" I shouted before finally hanging the phone.

I closed my eyes with a happy smile. I wondered what I had done to get friends like these.

Yeh hai ki bina pyaar kiya hi itna pyaar dete hai, aur ek Manik hai. Itna pyaar karke bhi hi just hates me. He doesn't hate me, but he makes me hate him.

"I am a monster, I will push you into darkness. I am the darkness people are scared of, I am the monster that will destroy you and you wouldn't even come to know"

I closed my eyes even tighter pulling the blanket over my head and letting those tears fall until sleep finally took over me.

__

My hand felt something heavy tucking them down but I couldn't open my eyes due to the sleepiness. But now, my hands felt numb with the pain of being pulled down from the bed and I was forced to open my eyes.

My eyes took a minute to adjust itself to the darkness in my room. It was still just 4am while I had slept at 11pm or something, crying from Manik's words.

I finally got up from the bed, only to look at my left hand being dragged down from the bed and another hand gripping it tightly.

Not to mention, it was the monster Manik Malhotra sleeping on the floor, his head leaning on my bed, both his hands holding his my left hand tightly, his shirt half open, his office coat covering him like a blanket, his hair a mess and his eyes stained with dried tears marks.

My heart flinched looking at him this way. I quickly got up from the bed and leaned in front of him. I didn't even realise when my tears flew out.

What was he doing? Doing to himself? Doing to me? Doing to us?

Unknowingly, my thing reached his cheeks, wiping the stained tears off. His mouth flung a bit open as his head fell further into the ground.

I know. I know he loves me. I have seen it in his eyes even tough his actions and his words speak against it.

He can't even stay a night without me anymore. He cries when noone looks. He displays his emotions when he gets to know that I'm leaving him. And then he's back to his monster zone, pushing me away, making me hate him.

I slowly removed my left hand which had turned numb now from his clutch and left to the balcony, where I find my peace.

I sat there quietly thinking about Manik. His eyes speak that he loves me, but his words speak against it.

What does he even want? Why does he keep pushing me away?

I know even he finds his peace with me and that is why, every night, no matter what happens, no matter how much we fight, he is here at my place, looking at me sleep and then falling asleep himself.

"NO!"

I was startled. This was Manik's scream.

"Don't- Don't....."

I ran back inside my room. Manik was still asleep, his forehead had sweat beads and he was frowning. His face had creases, his hand clutched the bedsheet tightly and he was nodding his head negatively.

"Manik?" I called out softly leaning near him but of no use.

"Please don't....", he screamed again.

He was having a nightmare. A terrible nightmare.

"Manik!" I called out, louder this time, patting him on his face.

"Leave.. don't... leave", he panted again.

I had to do something, this seemed terrible.

"MANIK!" I shouted this time holding his face in my hands, switching on the side lamp.

"Nandini!" He screamed as he finally got up.

I was taken off guard. Was he dreaming about me? Was this nightmare, this fear for me?

I looked at him as he sat there in shock. He finally looked up and his eyes met mine and he looked relieved.

"You're okay", he said to himself, still panting as his arms held mine and he pulled me to his chest.

My head banged against his chest as he held me protectively in his arms, he placed his head over mine.

I could hear his palpitating heart and unsound breaths.

He kept pulling me closer and closer when there was no space left at all and yet u didn't say a word.

I was angry. I was hurt. I was mad at him. But I set all my feelings aside.

Because I knew he needed me.

I placed my hand on his back, rubbing him, trying to calm him down.

He broken the hug and his eyes went from top to bottom, as if checking if I was fine or not.

"Are you okay, Manik?" I asked him.

He nodded in positive looking here and there. I don't know if he was embarrassed or if he was sacred or if he was confused.

"I just need to calm down.. a bit.. I..." He stammered here and there as he finally got up and went to the balcony, sitting on the swing there, face palming himself.

I followed him. I wanted to ask him what he was doing here, how did he get the keys, how did he get inside, but I kept quiet.

I didn't know what to do.

I just sat near him, as I side hugged him, hugging his arms and he hugged me back with one of his hands.

"Anything I can do for you?", I asked him slowly.

"Music. Could you please sing for me?" He asked me. There was hope twinkling in his eyes and he finally felt relieved.

I didn't know how to say no to him. "I don't.. I can't.. sing. No music... I can't..", I stammered. My eyes welled up with tears.

He looked confused. I took a deep breath before telling him the truth.

"My mother, she was a scientist before she perused her career in music while my father continued science. This music brought her to spotlight, media was surrounding her twenty-four by seven and my dad didn't like that. And I don't want to repeat everything, but then my dad felt inferior when he stood with her, he was known as my mothers husband. She wasn't known as his wife anymore and he didn't like that. He...", I closed my eyes. "They died." I concluded. "And I don't sing after my mother", I said slowly.

This was the nightmare I lived. I saw my father burning my mother and my elder brother and then he himself, destroying my entire family. And then it was proved to the world that it was a lab accident.

"Hey.... sssh!" Manik said wiping those tears off my cheek that I didn't know were flowing down.

"You gave taken music away from you, music hasn't taken itself away from you yet...", he said softly and I looked at him with my red eyes.

He got up and went inside and returned a few minutes back, with his guitar in his hand. I never knew he had his guitar here too.

But what shocked me was that Manik Malhotra, who never even let his band mates touch his guitar was offering a nobody like me to play it while he was insulting me yesterday.

By now, I was sure he had split personality. But there was something in me that didn't want to ruin this monent.

"Manik...", I whispered nodding negatively.

"Sssh", he said placing the guitar in my lap.

His right hand gripped my hand over the guitar and his left hand held mine, playing the guitar.

I closed my eyes, feeling the tune, the memories back to me.

The music I had banned from my life ten years back was felt again. Manik had brought back my music without even taking any efforts to do so.

I didn't even realise as his hand left mine and I was playing the guitar myself, he looking at my content face with love.

I closed my eyes as the happy days of my childhood came back to me with a smile and how it was weird that only Manik could make me that happy again, and nobody else.

"Hai nahin tha pata
Ki tujhe maan lungi Khuda
Ki teri galiyon mein is qadar
Aungi ab har pehar", I sang thinking about Manik and then my eyes flew open at the mistake I had done.

He was looking at me with amused eyes, out faces were just inches apart.

"I have never heard of that song before, yeh tumne kahan suna?" He asked me, a playful smile playing on his lips.

"It's my own composition...", I said biting my lower lip, and he looked at me even more amused.

"Wait, I'd just come...", he said as he got up and left.

I could hear him walking downstairs and I heard something click. I looked at the beautiful sun above the horizon, it was nearly 6 am.

Manik returned back, and he sat besides me, closer then before.

I looked at him and smiled. I wonder why he'd gone down.

"So, yeah....", he said huskily, his fingers tracing my arms, and he pulled me closer.

His hands reached my cheeks cupping my face, making me turn more to himself.

His fingers traced my side face, making me shiver at its place.

His leaned forward and his lips touched my nose, planting feather kisses. His lips trailed down my face, teasing me.

"Manik...", the moan unknowingly left my mouth.

Without wasting a second, his lips touched mine.

My brain warranted me to move away on the account of how he treats me but I couldn't. I marked under his touch, his fingers that trailed on my cheeks made me weaker.

"promise, I'd maintain my distance"

My brain warned me that this was wrong, it was dangerous. In a way, I was betraying Aryamman and Cabir. But isn't it true that the wrong and the dangerous never scares us, it just makes us want it more?

My hands reached his collar, gripping it tight as I finally kissed him back.

His hand reached my waist, pulling my closer, as he deepened the kiss.

His tongue did miracles in my mouth that no one could refuse.

When he broke the kiss, his forehead wasn't on mine like the usual times.

I could see him smirking. An evil smirk played on his face.

I looked at him suspiciously, his lips in an evil smirk, towards the door.

I turned my head to see what I never wanted to. I got up immediately pushing myself away from Manik. My eyes welled with tears while Manik sat there calm with that stupid evil grin on his face.

I didn't know what to say, what to do as I faced the two men standing at the door with angry, glossy eyes.

"Aryamman, Cabir....." I called out but they wouldn't listen as they both went away from there. The damage was already done.

I face palmed myself at the world that I had destroyed with my own hands.

And then my eyes fell at the monster sitting calm with an evil smirk. How could I be so foolish? Foolish to melt at his touch fucking every single time!

He had gone down to open the door to them, he did all of it on purpose.

He was a monster.

The anger inside me made me mad. My hands were fisted and they reached his cheek with all the valour it had.

Yes, I punched him.

He looked taken off guard as his lower lip bled, his eyes off with anger.

"Monster!" I screamed at him, the tears flowing off.

He wiped the blood off, the evil smirk returning to his face.

"Wrong step princess, this monster will destroy you", he said in an intimidating voice. His calm face brought a shiver down my spine as I saw him walk away from me.

I fell down to the ground, letting those tears overtake me.

I saw my little world burn in front of my own eyes and I could do nothing.

My love destroyed me.

~either you destroy everything you love or everything you love destroys you; in either case, love brings your destruction and you give it the power to destroy you~