When we're done eating, or well, Aldous is done watching me eat, he sets the tray on the dresser and comes back with the warm wet cloth. He dabs at my face and neck, paying special attention to the back of my shoulders, where I hadn't realized there was so much soreness and tension.

"If you'll allow me, I would like to massage you," he says softly. "I want you to be able to relax with me, and you're carrying a lot in these tired muscles."

He's not wrong. "Okay." I roll onto my full belly, and all I want to do now is nap. After the sex, and the crying, and now all the food, I'm exhausted.

"Close your eyes, love, and if you're uncomfortable at any point just say so, alright?" Gentle Aldous has returned to the forefront, and I melt into the mattress, because I trust him not to make me uncomfortable.

My wolf sprawls out on her back, tongue lolling, showing her belly. She's oh-so-ready to relax, and I decide that I am, too. He seems to really want to take care of me, who am I to deny us both this happiness?

Even if I am living a giant lie.

I push those thoughts away and settle in, ready to drift away as he works my muscles.

It soon becomes apparent that sleep will be the last thing on my mind as he manipulates my body. Apparently this man's hands are talented in every way, and he works on my back, neck, and shoulders with such precision and the exact right pressure that I don't even know where his hands end and my body begins. He works out areas of tension that I had no idea were even there, and I can't help but grow warm all over again at his touch.

Is it the mate bond? How could I possibly be lusty all over again when I'm still sore from the last time? He works his way down to my lower back, and I resist the urge to arch, push my buttocks up. Is it normal to want him so damn badly?

He chuckles, low in his throat, and my chest grows warm, because I realize he knows. He can either scent my arousal or feel it through the bond, or both. Either way, he knows.

"Not yet, love," he coos, and brings the blankets up to cover me again. "You rest now, and I'll draw you a bath."

Before I can even think that I won't possibly be able to fall asleep, I'm dragged out of consciousness, floating in a beautiful soft glowy state. I think I dream, but it's more just essences, a ghost of a touch, a scent, a whispering voice.

I don't know how long I'm out for, but when I wake, it's dusk.

And I'm alone.

The other side of the bed is cold, and panic grips me. Where is he? He was supposed to be filling a bath, and now it's almost dark, and he's gone, did I dream the whole thing, am I actually back home and never gotten saved by a beautiful caring alpha and—

"My lady," someone says, and it takes me a few moments of disoriented panic to realize it's the wolf servant that brought us food and water earlier. "The Alpha had to tend to a ritual for a dying pack member. He didn't want to wake you because you needed to rest, he should be back shortly after dark. Are you hungry?"

My mind reels. A dying pack member? "Is it...was it...?" I can't make the right words, but she seems to understand that I'm asking about the curse.

"Yes." Her eyes lower, studying the floor. "We hoped it wouldn't be too late but...he was too far gone."

My breath catches in my throat. Too far gone, or the curse isn't broken because I am not Lydia? There's no way to tell. If he was so sick from the curse that he was about to go, then that explains why Aldous was so eager to do the ceremony right away. But it didn't work.

It feels like someone has punched me in the gut. I don't know what to do, and helplessness grips me like a vise. Even if I had told him, it wouldn't have saved that man. They wouldn't have been able to swap me out with Lydia in time.

The guilt twists me too, because selfishly, I don't want to swap. I don't want it to be her. I want the curse to break, I want to have it work even if it's me...shouldn't it not matter if it's their daughter or not? We're bringing the packs together, that's the point, right? He didn't say Lydia's name in the ceremony, either, so our mate bond is true.

My mate. I should be there with him. "I shouldn't have been sleeping while he's doing something so hard."

The servant wolf, Trisha, I think he said her name was, winces. "He didn't want anyone with him. He wouldn't have let you come, anyway." She pauses, as if she's unsure for a moment. I am his mate, after all.

It hits me, then, why he would want to face this alone. "It's his father."

"My father liked to think so, but no, it's just a cruiser," Aldous had said, and I'd assumed that the past tense meant his father was no longer with him.

"He's not a young wolf," Trisha says. "But the illness came on so fast and so strong...we knew he didn't have long."

"Will you take me to him?" I ask. If she refuses I'll scent him out myself. I don't doubt that at this point I could track him through a crowd. Or follow the bond, because I can feel him now, if I concentrate hard I can feel his pain, thrumming to me.

"I don't know if I should." Trisha looks hesitant, and I feel bad for making her unsure of whether to go up against her alpha.

"Did he ask you specifically to keep me away?" I'm surprised at my boldness...I wouldn't ever have dreamed of speaking to another wolf this way, but gods my need to get to him is out weighing everything, and I am her alpha's mate now.

"Well...no." Trisha hooks and unhooks her fingers.

"Then you've done nothing wrong," I say, firm, because I feel responsible for her now. "I'm going to go find my husband."

I grab a robe from near the door and breeze from the house, not realizing until I'm halfway down the walk that it's Aldous' ritual robe. It drags on the ground behind me, and I'm swimming in the fabric, but I feel so protected and warm from his scent.

None of my worries from earlier are present, all that matters right now is my mate's pain, and I have to find him and comfort him through this difficult time.

There aren't many people out and about at the moment, and I wonder if they're mourning themselves or if it's normal for everyone to relax in their homes at this time of night.

I'm struck by how massive this community is, it seems endless. I'd wondered briefly why, if Aldous so loved the sea, why he wouldn't just bring his pack travelling, but it wouldn't be feasible to uproot so many.

I continue to follow the bond, my wolf pacing inside, wanting to be closer, to comfort her mate. I pause at the last of the cabins, realizing I'm about to leave the community and walk into woods unknown.

But Aldous is out there. And he's not unknown to me, not anymore.

I remove his robes, tucking them neatly on a nearby tree branch, and shift, shaking out my fur. It feels good to shift because I want to and not because I have to. Because I want to run, not because I have to fight.

I take off into the trees, beating the earth with my paws, growing closer and closer to the wolf who made me his Queen. Who showed me that I'm worth something.

He needs me now, and I can give him this.

I can't give him my name, and I don't deserve his trust, but I can take care of him as best I can. Right now, nothing else matters.