*** This is a clean version of Chapter 22. For anyone who is over 18 years, you can find a book on my profile called 'The Forbidden Diaries' which contains the explicit version. If any problems occur where you cannot view the book then you may have to follow me. Reading the explicit version is done at your own choice as I have made sure to notify you beforehand. ***

Chapter Twenty-Two - Only You

I finally make it back home around eight thirty. I'm exhausted and craving both food and my bed. Making my way up the driveway I sigh in relief at the fact that the entire cast has been finalized today and that I'm not running behind schedule. After this musical I'm for sure treating myself. But I'm a few steps away from the door when I hear some shuffling and it makes me stiffen in fright.

"Ella." The familiar voice makes me freeze and the craving of my comfy bed is long forgotten.

Regaining my composure, I turn around to be greeted by Ryder standing by the garage. I almost crumble, almost. He looks as handsome as ever and I find myself thinking why on earth did I have to fall so hard for him?

"Yes, Ryder?"

"Can we talk?" He sighs and runs a hand through his hair tiredly.

"Sure." I reply tensely but not at all comfortable with the idea considering how our last talk ended.

He nods to the pathway that leads to his cabin and I fall into step beside him, but I make sure to put some space between us. It's quiet for a moment before he exhales deeply and I notice that his brows are furrowed as he thinks.

"I heard you've been looking for a new place." He starts softly yet his voice holds some edge to it.

"How did you find out?" I frown in confusion.

"Mom saw you on your laptop looking at listings one day." He elaborates and I bite my lip nervously.

"Oh. I am, yeah." I admit as my gaze moves from one thing to another, not really focusing on anything.

"Why?"

A bubble of humorless laughter escapes me which brings us both to a stop. I turn to him with an incredulous expression as I wonder if he's serious. But when I'm met with nothing but silence and confused baby blues I sigh sadly and shake my head.

"We've made things awkward, especially in the house. Everyone's walking around us on eggshells – don't deny it, Ryder." I plead softly when he opens his mouth to protest. I walk inside his cabin first while hearing him shut the door behind us. "I respect your decision to stop things from going any further between us but this is your home. You shouldn't feel uncomfortable here so, I decided that I'll move out."

"My decision was fucking stupid!" He snaps angrily and stares at me with longing which has me reeling in surprise. "I let her get into my head and she ruined everything! Just like she always does!"

His eyes are cold with restrained fury as he paces in front of me but his words confuse me. I stop him with my hand to his chest as I look up into his eyes that are silently begging me to understand. But, I can't understand anything until he tells me.

"Who are you talking about and how did she ruin everything?" I frown and sense that I am about to uncover something about Ryder that he has kept locked away.

He sighs and his features scrunch up in pain as if the thought alone hurts him. Taking a seat on the couch he stares up at me expectantly. I sit down beside him and wait as he collects his thoughts.

"Three years ago, I was about to marry a woman called Madison." He reveals and all but spits her name in distaste. My eyes widen in shock but I remain silent. "We had been dating and I thought she was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. She got close to my family while hinting at marriage but that turned out to be a front. My dad became suspicious when he found her in his office and she had the file on who is going to be inheriting the ranch. As soon as she saw that it wasn't me she became distant and then, I found her cheating on me with my best friend at the time. Turns out she just wanted me for the status and money. I just didn't have much of it at the time because I was trying to establish myself."

"What a fucking bitch!" I gasp in shock over how someone could be so cruel. His eyes cut to me in surprise but they also glimmer with amusement which makes me blush in realization. "Sorry."

"Don't be." He chuckles before it fades and his smile slips. "I don't know how but she managed to contact me on our trip in Vancouver."

"And that's what you meant by her getting into your head?" I ask quietly as everything falls into place.

"Yes. You know what's messed up? She's tried to ruin any relationship I've had before it could become anything more. Do you remember the girl we met at the restaurant when Hunter and Judah came back in town? That's her friend, Carly, who probably told her about us." His fists clench and I can sense the frustration and anger rolling off him in waves. "When I met with Madison she said so much shit but I believed it and started doubting myself. She wanted to mess with my mind and ruin us before we even started...and she did."

"She flew to Canada and tracked you down based on her friend's assumption? How crazy is she?!" I groan as my mind reels at all this information.

"I think I need to get a restraining order."

"You're an idiot for not already doing so!" I exclaim which makes his lips quirk but there is no humor in his eyes.

We lapse into silence although it's much more comfortable this time. This is the reason why he's so hesitant at trusting people, why he was so hesitant to trust me at first. Because he thought I was just like Madison, a girl who wanted the ranch and his money.

He seems like he wants to say something but sighs instead and repeats the action a few times before I finally look at him expectantly. But I wish I hadn't because when he speaks his voice breaks slightly and he looks heartbroken. It makes me want to cry yet comfort him at the same time.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you, for making you hope for something only to crush it afterwards. But I couldn't stop myself at the beach and as soon as I realized what I had done her words came rushing back." He pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Every moment I spent with you I fell more in love with you. Every night I held you I wished for something more. You're so perfect for me that the realization shakes the ground underneath my feet."

"Oh, Ryder..." I whisper as I wrap my arms around his shoulders. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

He pulls me onto his lap and winds his arms around my waist tightly. I fail to stop the blush from gracing my cheeks but I'm thankful that he's too distracted with nestling his nose in the crook of my neck.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." He murmurs softly as if chanting a prayer that he just wants to be heard. "I didn't think you'd want anything to do with me after what happened. I thought you hated me."

"You silly man." I smile as tears slip down my cheeks before I press a kiss to the top of his head. "I love you, Ryder. No matter what happens I will always love you."

"Say it again." He demands but his voice is thick with emotion as he pulls away and cradles my face in his hands.

"I love you." I smile shyly and move closer to his face as my eyes sneak a peek at his lips. Meeting his gaze that has darkened with desire I curl my fingers around his collar and pull him closer. "Now, are you going to kiss me?"

"Yes." He nods before leaning in until his lips are a breath away.

I pull back which makes him groan in frustration. "Promise to never let me go?"

It happens in a blur. His arms push me into him before his lips descend on mine in a hungry yet passionate kiss filled with longing. I whimper softly when his teeth bite down on my bottom lip and coax me straight after to give in. And, I do.

His tongue meets mine as we explore each other, tasting and savoring. I tangle my fingers in his hair and tug slightly which makes him kiss me feverishly. It's like he almost doesn't want this moment to end no matter how much air is becoming a matter of priority. I pull away first, dazed still. He follows and his lips trail over the heated skin of my neck, kissing across my jawline, teasing the corner of my lips before nibbling on my earlobe. I'm a mess as I crave more of his addictive touch. I feel like I'm flying.

"I promise to never let you go, Ella."

The name causes me to bite my lip. We know each other's deepest secrets now yet there's still one that I haven't told him. But I know I can trust him. Taking a deep breath, I pull away slightly so that our positions are less intimate and more serious. He frowns at my actions but watches me anyways with an expectant look.

"My real name is Isabella Newman." I admit and his eyes widen in surprise. "When I escaped I knew I couldn't use my real name anymore and after I arrived here I had it shortened it to Ella. I used my grandmother's family name which is Whitestone and changed it to White. Curtis helped me change my documents around so that they state that my name is Ella White just to keep Seth from finding me."

"Wow...and I thought I was messed up." He replies which makes me swat his arm playfully. He grins before shrugging as he pulls me closer and kisses my forehead, but his lips linger intentionally. "I guess we can be messed up together."

I burst into light laughter as I feel the weight lift off my chest. I had been so hurt and confused but now I understand everything. This is what I wanted, an explanation. Although it came a little late I still got one. Everything is going to be alright, I think to myself. I will never let Madison come between us again.

Smiling, I move to get off his lap but he grabs my wrist and pulls me back. Startled, I look up at him in surprise but I receive my answer in the form of a fierce kiss. One the blows my mind and turns me into mush in the hands of Ryder Jackson.

I moan softly before my arms wind themselves around his neck. I find the ends of his hair and tug on them which elicits a husky groan from his lips. He deepens the kiss again and it becomes quite intense before I pull away panting for air. He rests his forehead against mine as we struggle to catch our breath.

"Stay with me tonight, please?" He asks in a soft murmur and I nod shyly.

With the way things are heating up between us I know we're not going to be sleeping anytime soon. And I'm more than okay with that. He pulls me up the stairs and into his bedroom before locking the door behind him that has a rush of excitement yet nervousness course through me.

Picking me up, he swallows my surprised yelp with a kiss but this time it's sweet and slow. I barely register the sheets beneath me because I'm more focused on his body hovering above and how it fits against mine just right. Agonizingly slowly, he peels off my clothes just like I do with his. However, my movements are rushed compared to his as the anticipation is making me nervous.

I struggle to be as patient as his eyes worship my bare body and make me feel special. After all the articles of clothing have come off his body I take the time to admire him. He's muscular and built with defined abs that I let my fingertips trail over. 

He grins boyishly before his hands find mine and intertwine them. His lips meet mine again in the sweetest of kisses that I can't get enough of. A husky groan escapes him as I open and let him in. But sadly, he eventually pulls away which makes me pout slightly as his eyes roam my body, not missing one thing.

I immediately feel self-conscious when I realize he can see all my scars and damaged skin. I squirm nervously but it's like he knows my train of thought because he smiles handsomely as his fingertips trace my heated skin aimlessly.

"You are so perfect." He murmurs before tenderly kissing my forehead.

Breathless moans escape me as he memorizes every curve and dip of my body with his lips, peppering open-mouthed kisses to every inch of my flushed skin. My body tingles with warmth and lust. The more he continues the more I crave whatever he can give me until all I know is him. 

I lose myself completely when I feel him inside me. Only the sounds of his husky groans, my gasps and skin meeting skin echo in the dimly lit room. Our bodies quickly become slick with sweat as warmth and pleasure flows between us. Whispers of words filled with love and adoration escape into the night as we worship each other's bodies with our lips, our fingertips, our eyes. My hands roam his body aimlessly, just wanting to feel him and his body shudders underneath my touch.

I tangle my fingers in his hair and pull him closer so that our lips can meet. The familiar knot in my belly tightens once more and I feel so close to my release. He notices and his thrusts become faster and harder until I feel myself explode in ecstasy. I cry his name in complete bliss and he finds his own release before capturing my lips in a fierce kiss.

"I love you, Ella." He murmurs before pecking my lips again.

"I love you too, Ryder." I smile as I stare up at him in content. 

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