4 weeks later
*Zac*
"This is really not necessary, I think I might just have not been drinking enough". She says, glancing at the building as I park.

"I am sure it's nothing darling, I'll just feel much better if we get you checked out". I say, taking Siena's hand as we get out of the truck in front of the doctors clinic. "I know doctors make you nervous, but I promise it will be okay".

She has been getting more and more tired these past weeks. She has also complained about headaches and dizziness and yesterday she fainted when she stood up a bit too fast.

She gives me a small loving smile. "You are always taking such good care of me, love".

I open the door, letting her step inside first. "That's kind of my job, Being your husband and all".

"You are still something special". She says, before going up to the nurse, telling her we have arrived.

For some reason her praising me makes me feel bad. Bad because I miss Hope so badly. I have not spoken to her but I follow her on social media and when I sit at work during a break or at home at night after Siena has fallen asleep watching a video, I feel as guilty as if it had been some kinky porn.

We are shown into a room and a very sweet nurse comes in, taking some blood samples and measuring her blood pressure and heart rate. I am holding her hand the whole time.

And then we are told to wait for the doctor.

"I am nervous ... what if it's bad". She says, looking at me, as soon as we are alone.

I take her other hand too, squeezing both lightly in mine. "I am sure it's nothing special, Maybe you have a virus or your medication needs to be adjusted".

These past weeks we have been trying hard to find our way back to each other, to being married. And honestly, we are good together. We never fight, we agree on most things and we listen to each other.

I just wish I didn't have this constant pain lurking, poking at me at any unexpected moment, telling me how much I miss Hope.

Soon the doctor comes in and starts asking a lot of questions, while he does some test, poke and prod and I sit here waiting anxiously.

He goes to sit behind his desk, looking at his screen, nodding and mumbling to himself. Then he folds his hands in front of him, looking up. "It seems there is a problem with your blood here".

"Her blood ? How can that be ?" I squeeze her hand as I look at the doctor.

He shakes his head slightly. "I need to do some more tests to find out what is happening, maybe send you to a specialist too. But your white blood cell count is way too low".

"But is it dangerous ? I mean ... how bad is it ?" I ask, suddenly feeling like a icy hand has closed around my heart.

"It's serious". Just like the doctors expression. "Right now it is okay for her to go home, but you need to relax Siena, and we need to monitor you ... if it gets worse you need to be hospitalized ...".

She looks panicked. "No ... I can't ... I don't want to go back into a hospital.. I would lose my mind again".

"Breathe sweetie". I tell her softly. "I am sure they will find the reason so it won't be necessary".

The doctor looks at us. "I have to inform you that this can potentially turn life threatening, so if you feel even a bit worse you need to contact me ... you will need transfusions to slow the process".

"I am not going back to being confined to a bed". She is shaking her head furiously. "I can't ... I don't want to be sick and locked inside with needles and tubes in me ... no I'd rather take the time I can get and stay free".

I am sure my heart just stopped. "Baby, you have to ... You will die if you refuse treatment ... I won't allow that".

"Zac ... please don't force me to go back to being locked up ... let me have peace". She looks at me pleadingly.

The doctor shakes his head slightly. "You will need to discuss this, I can't force you Siena but it would only be for a period".

After making a new appointment, we leave the doctor's office. Honestly I feel shocked and kind of beside myself. It's like being caught in some nightmare.

"Are you okay Zac ?" She looks at me, as we enter the house.

I shake my head. "Of course not darling ... I risk losing you here ... I am anything but okay".

"I am just happy that I was given some more time with you ... that I got to see what kind of man you have become. I am so proud of you, my love". She wraps her arms around me.

"Don't leave me again". I mumble, kissing her, simply because I need to feel her, feel something. "Please fight this".

The kiss is more passionate than usual, and when we break apart we are both slightly out of breath. She looks up at me, her hand resting on my chest. "Please, make love to me, just this once".

And how could I ever say no to her, not when she asks like this.

*Siena*
He gently lifts me and carries me to the bed. To be honest I have been longing to feel his hands on my skin and his body against mine. But I know Hope is the reason that our relationship has not become more physical. He is in love with her, I have no doubt about it. Actually I have thought about leaving him several times, to let him be happy with her. But I love him too much. And I also know that he would never agree to it.

He undresses me slowly, kissing every spot of my body, telling me how beautiful I am and that he will always love me. And I know he is truthful. I close my eyes, running my fingers over his skin, wanting to remember this moment for the rest of my life.

Our love making is slow and soft, born more of love than passion, but so incredible. The feeling of him just as I remembered. I am overwhelmed by love and after we have both reached our climax I can't stop the tears.

"Are you okay sweetie ? Did I hurt you ?" He looks so worried as he pulls me into his arms that it only makes me cry more.

I shake my head against his broad warm chest, managing to croak out a response. "No ... just ... overwhelmed ... so amazing".

"It was ... just as I remembered". He says softly, snuggling his face into my hair. His hand is slowly trailing up and down my spine.

For a long time we just lay there, all snuggled up. Whispering about the future, choosing to ignore that we might have none. And when Zac dozes off, I keep running my hand through his hair, telling him how much I love him and how much I hope he will find happiness.

When I am sure he is deeply asleep, I roll out of bed and grab his phone. I giggle softly when it opens on the first try. I can't believe he still uses the same code. I find her number easily and call her.