I was waving on taxis with my phone in one hand, and gripping my luggage on the other. Passengers have been coming out of the exit so the competition of passengers is high. My anxiety was already eating me alive. I kept waving and waving until there was this taxi that slowed down. I was running to catch it only to get stolen by the guy who was standing further away from me. Before he strode in the taxi carrying his luggage, he gave me a look like he didn't steal my taxi. 

I gave him a deadly stare and yelled. "Hey! That taxi is mine!"

He just snobbed at me and gave me a wave to bugger me off. What the hell?  

I was able to get myself a taxi after 15 minutes of waiting and getting more pissed every minute that passes. I instructed him to which place I was staying. He greeted me with a smile together with the mellow Hawaiian music playing on his radio.  I told him finally he stopped for me because I've been getting pissed at the taxis not stopping. In a short while, he dropped me off the Villa. 

It was the Villa Hansel has written on his detailed instructions on each activity. Today, after checking in, a car would also arrive there for me to rent. I'm going skydiving today. Where I don't know should be scary. I don't think it wouldn't be so bad skydiving hours after a plane ride.

Sometimes I question, what if I fall from the sky and nobody is there to catch me, would life still be worth living? Falling is a scary thing, they say just like falling-in-love or out of love. Most of the time you need a good fall in order to put your shit together--to know where you are standing in life, to reassess--but there are also times the lucky ones meet someone who'll make him/her feel like falling is flying. Sometimes falling isn't the fear, it is what comes after--will I have a chance to come back up? will I land safely? will I survive? It is the fear of failure of coming back up to give life another ride. 

------

The car I rented wasn't so bad. It was a pickle-colored pick-up truck. The drive was short but it was enough to let the fresh air mess up my hair. I arrived at the skydiving dropzone the letter instructed me to. Google Maps and Waze was handy so I didn't need anyone to drive me around. Oahu is also a small island so it's easy to ask and go around. I registered myself and sat in the chairs waiting for the debriefing. The chair beside me started to screech. I furrow my eyebrows to the person next to me. 

What a surprise! It was the dude who stole my taxi. Stealer. 

I sighed with frustration, "You. stole. my. taxi." 

He shrugged with a sweet smile, "No, miss. You don't own any taxi. First come first serve. Are you by chance stalking me?"

"Umm, no, because I don't even know you." I glared and turned my head and looked straight. How arrogant can this dude get? He is getting into my skin. 

"Are you really this dismissive?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

I look away and focused on the employees who were starting to instruct us on what to do. They let us sign a waiver about not being liable for accidents if ever we get into an accident. They proudly announced that there has never been a reported accident here yet. It proves that they are safe and trusted by many.

The instructors were teaching us that the 3 Phases of Skydiving: Freefall, Parachute Opening & Landing, and what we should do during those phases. Each one of us who aren't professional divers was paired up with professional ones as a tandem. The plane is flying to the jump altitude which was typically around 13,000 feet with a 60-second free fall but possibly could go up as high as 16,000 feet giving the jumper a 75-second free fall. 

Freefall based on what I understood from their orientation is used in skydiving to describe the moment the jumper/s exit the plane.  The plane wasn't that huge, they said. We were only about 5 divers each paired with a tandem instructor. We were in a total of 10 inside the plane. 

We were now on the plane, geared up, the stranger who stole my taxi seated behind me. Our professional tandems we were paired up with, are now double-checking if I had my straps on the right places if there is nothing wrong with the placements of the parachutes.

I was now attached to my professional tandem instructor. As we wait a short while for the people who were in front of us to jump. Instructed that we had to wait for a couple of seconds every time a person should jump so that divers wouldn't be cramped up in one area. It was now our turn. I made sure my helmet was properly placed and my goggles. We slowly made our way to the opening of the plane and before I even realized it, we were out floating in the sky. 

It didn't feel dangerous at all. It was just the breeze of the air and me, and well the instructor behind me. It was not just a mental and physical thing, it was also spiritual. I felt alive and this is something I definitely shouldn't miss.  There's too much self-reflection and enlightenment as you float in the skies of Hawaii. 

The wind pressing against my face and I continue to scream. I let the wind bring me where it leads me to. But thanks to my instructor. 

It didn't make me feel like I was falling thousands of feet from the ground. 

I realized that falling can also feel like an awakening. 

------

We landed safely on the scraping my knees unto the green grass. I jump up and down, putting my fist up in the air. It was an achievement. I grin ear-to-ear as I give my instructor a high five.

"Yeehaw!"

I squint my eyes as I look for whose voice that was. Realizing who it was, I glared at him. He started to walk towards me. I raise my eyebrow at him, as he walked proudly. He wiggled his eyebrows and winked at me before he changed direction just passing by me. 

I frowned and stormed off to return the used equipment. What the hell is his problem? 

I stretch and rubbed my eyes before I get in the driver's seat. As I got in, I set everything into place. I smiled at myself in the mirror and drove away hurriedly as the tires screech on the pavement.

On the way back to the villa, I tap my fingers unto the stirring wheel and sang the song as loud as I can as music from my phone filled the car. I chuckle, covering my face with my palm as I got in realizing I spent the entire day getting infuriated at the same guy.