Yuvaan's POV

Thanks to me not paying attention in the morning, I had to stay back in the office to complete the tasks. Heena refused to help and kept sulking in her cabin; she was on the verge of losing her shit when I kept disturbing her for the files I needed.

As she said earlier, she sent me her resignation by email, and I deleted it without reading. I already had a thousand of those in my trash bin, so adding one more wasn't to going to make any difference.

I slogged after all the employees left and ate dinner in the cafeteria. If I wasn't daydreaming about my wife, I would have completed my work hours ago. But thanks to Reyna, I couldn't even do that; it was entirely her fault.

After signing the last batch of files for today, I checked the time: 2:36 am. I stretched my arms and relaxed in my chair. I pondered over whether I should go home or just stay in the office. Both of the options seemed useless as I wasn't going to sleep anyways.

I got up and grabbed my wallet and phone. I bid goodbye to the staff who had stayed back for me and exited the building. Twenty minutes later, I reached a small children's park in an under development area; it was one of my favourite spots to hang out alone.

Unfortunately, there were no kids around, so I sat on a vacant bench and imagined them playing on the swings and other structures; it was one of the methods told to me by my psychiatrist. Since I loved kids, he suggested me to frequently visit parks, schools and kids hospital to maintain my sanity.

According to him, their innocence could help me to come over my darkness and remind me that I wasn't a monster since the day I was born. It was a free therapy and smiling once in a while wouldn't harm me. I grinned remembering how I frustrated him and refused every kind of treatment; I knew I wasn't going to get repaired.

It was thanks to my best friend Shaurya and Mom that I could at least sit for those sessions. If it wasn't for them, it would have been my sixth death anniversary this year. And if Tamannah hadn't come in my life, it could have been ninth anniversary.

Tamannah Advani... What did I do to deserve a girl like her?

A girl who looked like an angel, spoke like one and treated everyone with kindness. I met her and Shaurya while working in their college's cafeteria in Ireland; Mom had shifted me there after getting me back from the rehabilitation centre. I didn't want to study and wanted to stand on my own feet as soon as possible, so I did any work I found.

When I first saw Tammy, I couldn't take my eyes off her. She had tan complexion with large doe eyes which glimmered every time she smiled. Her light brown hair set in a bob-cut, bounced whenever she laughed at one of her own jokes and no matter what she wore, she always looked beautiful.

But I knew she was out of my league. I worked in the cafeteria, but I was aware of all the gossip that went inside the college. She was the daughter of one of the trustees; her father being one of the richest men in the country while her mother was the heir of the third largest diamond mining company.

She was not from my world; just like her friends, especially Shaurya, who used to give me death glares whenever he saw me gawking at his cousin sister. Earlier, I thought that both of them were just friends, but one day, Shaurya bluntly told me to keep my eyes where they belonged.

I wanted to punch him, but getting in a fight with a future lawyer was not on my list. So, I decided to crush my one sided crush on Tammy and focused on saving my job. It was really hard but in the end, I managed to not look at Tamannah which made Shaurya really happy.

But his happiness didn't last longer. One day, Tammy herself approached me and confessed that she wanted to date me. I couldn't believe it, but before I could say anything, she told me that she didn't care about status and other unnecessary stuff; she liked me and asked me if I already had a girlfriend or not.

When I shook my head, she gave me her signature smile and hugged me — in the cafeteria! She didn't even mind when her designer dress got spoilt because of the stains on my apron. I wanted to hug her too but didn't because I wasn't sure if that would have been okay or not.

Tamannah convinced her cousin, and after two weeks, we were officially dating. At first, it was kind of awkward because I had no dating experience but my girlfriend taught me everything and kept encouraging me to smile more.

I was broke and noticed Tammy looking at other guys when they would take their girlfriends to dates and give them expensive gifts. I knew she wanted that too but wasn't saying anything because of my financial condition. It sometimes made me wonder why she was with me; she was loaded, so she could have easily got a rich boyfriend.

But I didn't ask her that; I was afraid she would break up with me.

In a period of one year, I, Tamannah and Shaurya got really close. Shaurya and I spent so much time together that eventually we became best friends and Tammy used to complain that I was giving her cousin more time instead of her.

That one year was pure bliss but thanks to my stupidity, I ruined the relationship we had built. That dreadful day changed her outlook towards not only me but towards everything.

"You are a murderer, Yuvaan. Stay the fuck away from me. How can you touch me with those filthy hands?" she yelled and slapped me across the face.

"I can't believe I made such a huge mistake. I don't love you, you piece of shit. Do you even have the ability to take care of me when you can't even feed yourself? I was naive to think that you were someone I could trust but you broke it. How can you expect me to love you when you have blood on your hands?"

"Tammy, please, listen to me once. You didn't even hear the full story. I love you; I will never lie to you. Please give me a chance to explain—"

She slapped me one more time and stormed off after cursing me; she didn't even look back at me once. I talked to Shaurya and he scolded me that he had already warned me to not tell Tamannah. He knew she would lose her mind if I told her my darkest secret; she wasn't used to the world I lived in.

I tried to convince her for seven months but she left and went to Australia. After her, I went into depression and Mom had to come to save me again. She already had a lot of stress, and I was only adding to it. When I saw her tired and worried face, which I was seeing for the last twenty years, I realised that what people used to say about me was actually true.

"Hey, don't go near him. He is crazy, don't you know?"

"You know why he likes to be alone? Because he has no one. I am sure he is an illegitimate child. His mom doesn't come to pick him up, and I haven't seen his father even once."

"Does he even know who his father is? Of course, how can he? His mom must have slept around a lot for him to identify who the real dad is."

"What a pathetic loser. He thinks he is so smart because he tops every time, but he doesn't know how much teachers hate him. I really don't like him coming to our school."

"Is he human?"

"Hey, Yuvaan! Why don't you just die? No one wants you, you know. Even your Mom doesn't love you; she will be better off without dragging you along everywhere."

"Hahaha... Right. Get out, you monster. We are tired of seeing your ugly face. Haha..."

I heard a lot of bad things and everything was jumbled up in my mind. Sometimes, I heard multiple voices in my head and each one of them had its own views. I was too lost that I couldn't decide which one of it was my real voice.

I wished there was someone who could tell me what was right or wrong because I was used to people criticizing me for every little thing since I was a kid. For them, I was something which they couldn't handle and deemed it best not to bother with me at all.

After all that happened, I wondered why I was still alive. If I was a burden, then why didn't Mom get rid of me like she was told to do so many times? Why was Shaurya hanging around with me when his own cousin, who claimed that she loved me, left me?

I sighed and laid down on the bench. I closed my eyes and let my inner voice torture me. It kept spewing nonsense, and I tried to think of other things to clear my mind. I recited all the nursery rhymes I knew, told myself three bedtime stories, played with my fidget spinner but nothing was helping.

Tamannah's crying face kept flashing in front of my eyes, followed by Mom's and then it was the same cycle over and over again. I moved my hand to trace the outline of a constellation; my eyes catching the glint of my engagement ring.

Reyna Bakshi... An uninvited guest, a weirdo and the first surprise gift I ever received.

I had to marry her against my wishes and did everything to keep her away from me but now that she was finally leaving, I didn't want her to leave.

How much fucked up can I be?

"Help!"

Did someone call for help?

"Save me! Help! Is anyone here?"

I snapped up from my spot when I heard a girl's shrill cry and glanced around. I didn't see any humans and most of the area was covered in darkness; a result of false promises by politicians.

I waited for some time and when I heard nothing, I decided to sleep back. But a small figure clad in an orange shirt and white shorts zoomed past on the nearest road and hid behind a small tree. I heard muffled sobs and shuffling of feet before it subsided.

Soon after, about five men appeared in the far edge of the park, looking around for something in a hurry. I sighed as it dawned upon me what was going on. Those unfamiliar men discussed among themselves and started walking towards the tree.

I saw a head covered in jet black hair peek out from behind the old trunk and two small eyes darted around in nervousness. When the girl noticed the men advancing towards her, she let out a huge sob but clasped her mouth with her palm.

She looked for an escape but there was a dead end and she didn't seem to have enough strength to run too. I watched as her predators reached her and started laughing maniacally. One of them took out his phone and started recording while the others began executing their plan.

Leave it, Yuvaan. She is not your responsibility.

I took out my gun and got up from the bench. I dusted myself and wiped the mouth of my weapon with my handkerchief. I strode towards the men who were taking advantage of the situation, not realising that I was also watching them.

"Please, leave me. I beg you," that girl cried and crawled back.

"How can we let such a nice piece of meat go away? Don't be shy; you will also enjoy," one of the men said and others snickered.

I put my arm over his shoulder and gave him a huge grin. "How about we play a game instead?"

Thank you for reading 💜